rSlash - r/AITA Mom Abandons Her Kids

Episode Date: October 6, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:05 Move out 6:39 Not in love 9:28 Pay back 10:44 Texting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by Shopify. You know that idea you've had sitting in the back of your mind, that passion project you've always wanted to put out into the world. The hardest part is usually just taking that first step, especially with the holiday rush right around the corner. But getting your business off the ground doesn't have to be a massive headache, whether you're setting up a storefront for the first time or looking to streamline your operations. Shopify is basically built to make the whole process frictionless. You get pre-built website themes and an AI site builder that lets you launch a gorgeous, gorgeous, professional-looking store without touching a single line of code. Plus, you've even got your own AI e-commerce assistant.

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And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories. about career highs, painful bombs, and behind the scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplace confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barrenholz. Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barrenholz on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Welcome to R-slash, Am I the Butthole, where a woman abandons her children.

Am I the butthole if I ask my 27-year-old daughter to move out because her life choices are destroying my mental well-being? I'm a 45-year-old woman, and my husband is 48. We're at our wits end with our 27-year-old daughter and need some advice. I want her gone, but my husband wants to give her more time. It's been almost a year for living with us. My daughter moved back home last November after a domestic violence situation with her longtime boyfriend. They broke up. However, she has three children. A seven-year-old boy, a four-year-old boy, and a two-year-old

girl. One of which is with this man. And since this happened, she has unfortunately had her children removed from her care. Her boys went to their respective fathers, and she got custody of her daughter. Until she had to bring her daughter to a doctor's appointment, and I don't know what happened, as I wasn't there. All I know is that when she got back, her daughter was not with her. And she hasn't been back since, and I haven't been able to get a straight answer. This incident with her daughter happened right after Christmas. I can interject here real quick. As someone who has a five-year-old and often takes her to pediatric visits for like shots and stuff,

what probably happened is that the doctor saw something very alarming, like bruises on the child, or bad malnutrition or a chronic illness that wasn't being treated, and the doctors, being mandatory reporters, reported it, and CPS came and took the kid. That's probably what happened. So if I had to guess, the two-year-old probably had bruises on her. It's been almost a year, and there's a couple things that my daughter needs to do to get her daughter and her other children back to her custody.

Now, I've bent over backwards to help her and get her to every visit, every appointment, every court hearing needed. And on top of all this, my daughter has system. fibrosis, cystic fibrosis related diabetes, and asthma on top of her mutations of cystic fibrosis which are respiratory and digestive. So it's a double effing whammy for her. Whenever she goes to the hospital, it's for like two weeks at a time fighting for her life. She isn't in the hospital now and is doing well, so that's beside the point. That is not the reason that I'm pissed with my daughter. To not fight for your children is one thing, but to take off every chance you

you get to go meet some scumbag who lives two states away and miss multiple visits with your beautiful precious daughter is another. Then she has the audacity to lie to me and my husband about the reasons why she does it. However, she forgot that she gave permission for her social worker to speak openly with me about her case. So I've been speaking with the social worker for the past four weeks and my daughter says, oh, I missed visits, but it's the worker's fault for not doing this or that. Turns out, my daughter was lying about many things. The lies kept spiraling. Her worker was supposed to do this, and that, and get her this. No, she wasn't. My daughter is supposed to do all this stuff herself. I mean, who in their right mind thinks that way? My daughter, that's effing who.

Ugh, it's ridiculous, truly. I figured I'd help her out a little because she was going through something. Whatever, we all do, it's fine. So, I recently went online and send her some applications for apartments to fill out that I found for her that she can afford, as she needs to find a place. She's a mom and an adult. She isn't staying with us forever. This was something she was obligated to do by the courts, but she kept making excuses saying the social worker was supposed to do this. But how does a social worker get your information to fill out applications? It doesn't make any sense to me. Another is her court-ordered parenting class. No big deal. Go online, there's a bunch of classes that are court approved.

Why in the world would her social worker be responsible for this? She isn't! And I made sure of it by calling the social worker. My daughter is supposed to have an apartment, counseling, parenting classes, and some type of domestic violence support by November. That's when her next court date is. She hasn't started anything. She could have gotten her daughter back in November,

or sooner as his social worker is specifically in favor of reunification. The way things are going, and the rate that my daughter is getting her required therapy done, she won't get her daughter back this year, which is absolutely effing wild to me. Anyway, what came to my head recently was last Tuesday and Wednesday she was supposed to have her visits with her daughter. These are her designated days. She missed several, but last week gave the excuse that her daughter had appointments both days. She was with her scum of a new boyfriend two states away.

He's the reason she missed several visits. But she makes the excuse that it's the foster parents' fault for making an appointment for her daughter on the visitation day. She has a visit tomorrow. She isn't home again tonight and won't be here tomorrow for her visit. And I know she's going to make up some excuse or lie as to why she won't see her daughter. I know because I'm the one who gives her rides to these visits. I'm so pissed I could spit nails. Oh, never heard that one before.

I don't know if she's with her boyfriend or what. All I know is I'm at my wits end. And because of her, me and my husband don't get to be with our grandchildren ever. Plus, we could also get custody of our granddaughter if our daughter is gone, which is what we all wanted in the beginning when this all started. So here's the question I need and an honest answer because I'm at a loss. Would I be the butthole if I kicked her out? I need our grandkids in our lives.

And if she isn't trying to take initiative in her life, I'm done. She's 27. She needs to go. Please help me. I'm just at such a loss and I'm in desperate need of some outside opinions. O.P., I'm not even the person who's living with your daughter and I'm exhausted by her antics. Leaving my flesh and blood grandchild in some foster home instead of my daughter fighting for the grandkid is a major deal breaker for me. This would be like a solve this problem immediately or you're out of my house. I would not have tolerated this to this point. I think you need to kick her out because more than likely she'll go live with her new boyfriend a couple states away and that abandonment will give you an actually caring and considerate person grounds to pursue custody of this poor little two-year-old girl.

I really hope this little girl's life turns out to be better than her awful mothers. Am I the butthole for telling my best friend's fiancee why I'm not in love? with him? I'm a 30-year-old woman and I'm best friends with David, who's 30. David and I met our freshman year of college and clicked right away. We were even roommates for a while, and right now we work for the same company in different divisions. After a decade of friendship, I know David's not what I want in a partner. He has a huge ego and can be selfish and melodramatic. Even his family admits that he can be arrogant and careless. I noticed a lot of positive changes in him when he met Trish. He asks other people how they are now. He's kinder. He started therapy. It's nice to see him work on himself. Last month, David asked me to be his best man. I've been involved with a lot of wedding party stuff on the groom side, so it was nice when Trish asked me out to dinner with her side of the bridal party. But it was an ambush. Trish and her maid of honor asked me if David and I ever hooked up and flat out if I was in love with him. I said we never had, and that I wasn't. Trish seemed weirded out by that answer.

and pushed. It went from, Do you like David to Why don't you like David? Real fast. I deflected and said he wasn't my type, but they kept pushing. Finally, I said he's arrogant and I don't have the energy to feed his ego and that's not what I want in a partner. The rest of the bridesmaids kind of laughed.

Trish and her maid of honor got upset, so we ended the night. Later, Trish texted the wedding party group chat saying she didn't want me in the wedding because I said horrible things about David and called him an egomaniac. All his family and friends chimed in laughing, agreeing, and calling him a selfish jerk, and recounting all the times he pulled some BS for attention. Things like faking a crisis, deliberately letting his car run out of gas so you won't ask him

for favors, basic weaponized incompetence. Trish saw that, as David citing with me, despite him literally stating to their family and friends in the chat, that she made him want to be a... better person. David's sister told me yesterday that Trish is still upset about how I responded, and she's convinced I said these things because I want David. I texted David and asked him to talk to Trish about it, and that I'd be willing to drop out of the wedding party if she was really that uncomfortable. David said that he would handle it, but I'm worried that I was too blunt, and either I started drama accidentally, or I fell into one of David's drama traps and he's not as changed as we all

think. Op. You are totally in the clear. You got to be careful about what questions you ask. If you don't want an answer, don't ask the question. I mean, she literally wanted you to criticize her fiance, and then you criticize her fiance, and she's like, huh? Shocked Pikachu face. Super stupid. Op. You get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for being cruel for telling my daughter that she'll need to pay back the money that I spent on her wedding? My daughter was supposed to get married in about four months. I learned earlier this week that the wedding is off, and it has been for about a month now, and I just learned about it. In short, the groom learned that my daughter cheated on him early into the relationship, so he called it off. I personally gave her money for the wedding under some conditions.

It was not a gift. The main condition was to have a venue that was accessible for people with disabilities. So I put down money for the venue. Anyways, the wedding is canceled, and the venue doesn't do refunds. She's already told them she will not need the time slot and nothing will happen that day. I still need to pay the venue. They're not giving me any money back and are holding the price. I called her and told her that I need help paying for the venue.

That since the wedding didn't happen, I need her to pay me back some. We had a huge argument and she called me cruel for doing this. I pointed out the wedding would have happened if she didn't cheat on the man and this wasn't a gift at all. She's pissed and I'm out like 10K. So she cheated and you're the one who's supposed to pay for it, literally? Nuh. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for texting a married man?

I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my husband is 31. We've been married for six years. We've got two kids and a fantastic marriage. He and I have never had problems with one another having friends of the opposite gender, as long as there's some boundaries and open communication. We've got healthy boundaries and trust. I met my friend, Stephen, who's 12. back in 2020 through mutual friends. It was always platonic. We were never close, and we never had feelings for one another.

He and his wife met last year and got married within a few months of meeting. He and my husband happened to start working at the same company a few years back, and they've grown close. A few weeks ago, my husband lost one of his best friends very tragically and suddenly. His birthday's coming up, so I wanted to make it extra special this year so that he can take his mind off things. Mind you, this was supposed to be a surprise birthday party with all of our friends and family. And even his best friends are flying in from out of town. I texted Stephen to invite him. I also don't even have his wife's number because we've only met once. A few hours later, I remembered that his wife and I had just barely added each other on Insta. I was like, oh yeah, let me just forward the message to her too so that she's in the loop.

But I couldn't find her. So I searched through my husband's Instagram. She blocked me. I was like, huh? The next day at work, Stephen goes to my husband and he's like, Hey man, my wife didn't appreciate your wife texting me. It really upset her. And obviously, my husband is confused. He shows him the text all about the surprise birthday party. And then my husband is even more confused because, one, why would he tell him about the surprise birthday party? And two, why was his wife freaking out about a birthday invitation? So now, both of them have blocked me. me, and I'm just bamboozled because I genuinely didn't mean anything by it.

Usually, I'd have my husband text Stephen, but I figured I should do it now because, you know, it was supposed to be a surprise. Am I the butthole? There's jealousy, and then there's whatever this woman is, the wife of Stephen. If they're at a restaurant and a waitress comes over and says, hello, can I take your order? Does she leap out of her seat and claw the waitress's eyes out. O.P., what you did was as innocent as humanly possible. You get an easy zero out of five buttholes. I don't know what that woman's issue is. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Spotify advertising connects you with an audience

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