rSlash - r/AITA Mother Steals from Our Home

Episode Date: May 7, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Children 4:03 Disrespectful 8:49 Apologize 9:54 Money 12:40 MIL rules Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash Am I the Butthole, where O.P. has a scumbag, did beat sister. Am I the butthole for not being excited my sister is having a new baby when I still have custody of her first child? My sister Val is an alcoholic, or was an alcoholic, I don't know the terminology. She's been on and off since she was 18. Her drinking made her neglectful parent. I won't go into it, but eventually social services stepped in, and I, I ended up fostering my nephew, Danny, who was six at the time. When we took custody, Val made almost no effort to see Danny.

She missed scheduled visits, even in the brief period she was clean after being sent to rehab. Danny grew very resentful, and when she did stick to visits, he would refuse to speak to her, which would drive Val into another bender slash spiral slash relapse. After two years of fostering, my husband and I were given full legal guardianship, which Val voluntarily gave us. Danny is now 11, and Val isn't in his life, which he says is what he wants. Val's been sober for two years, and only ever asks how Danny is when she speaks to me. She makes no effort to contact him. I've never really said much to her about it because Danny's a happy kid, and I think we're both good parents to him. And I don't want Val to start contacting him out of

obligation, which ends up hurting him. She's basically just an uninvolved aunt to him. But earlier this week, Val announced on a family group call that she's pregnant. And I couldn't even fake being pleased. My stomach just dropped. She's over there grinning, talking about a nursery, while next door to me is the bedroom of the kid she discarded. It's one thing to hold your hands up and say you're not capable of being a mother. But to just decide, you can't be bothered to do the work of repairing the relationship with a child you already have, so you just have a new one? I guess I didn't look happy on the video, because everyone asked what my issue was. I just said nothing, and not to worry because I'll let the child she didn't want know about the one that she did. Val got really upset,

and her boyfriend got mad at me, and the call ended shortly after. My mom says I owe Val an apology. She asked if I thought she should take Danny back or if I resented having him. To be clear, I couldn't love that boy more if he came out of me. And no, I don't think he should live with Val. My mom's point is if I think things should stay the way they are, then I shouldn't begrudge Val for still wanting to be a mother to someone. And that's considering there's nothing she could do right in this situation. I should find it in my heart to be happy that she's healthy and finding happiness. My dad agrees with me that she's making a bad decision having another child, but mainly because he feels she's not stable, not because of Danny. He says that Danny is my son now, and I shouldn't see it as him

being re-abandoned when he's in the best place for him. I just feel like it's so wrong a Val to try to start fresh, like she doesn't already have a child out there that she's never even tried with. It seems like she just wants everything the easy way. I'm just so angry that she thinks she doesn't have to take responsibility for the hurt she's caused. She can just start the cycle again as if Danny was the first pancake. Am I really the butthole for not seeing this as a positive thing? You know, there's having the moral high ground, and then there's O.P. situation, which is like having the moral high ground on the top of Mount Everest. O.P. has the high ground as an astronaut looking down at the earth from the moon. The situation is insanely disrespectful to O.P. and

even more so to Danny. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Val 4.5 out of five buttholes. Just don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who abandons their kid. Am I the butthole for being disrespectful and not accommodating my ex and his wife even though they're having a baby?

I'm a 34-year-old woman, and I have a 10-year-old daughter, Felicity, with my ex, Brad. He moved three hours away and is married to Haley. Felicity stays with her dad, two months in the summer and for certain holidays. It's a legal custody order. We don't have a child support order, but he does pay child support that he and I agreed on, which hasn't changed in eight years, even though I know he's gotten a new job. But whatever, apparently that's not my business. I don't really talk to Brad, but obviously whenever he calls Felicity or vice versa,

it's my phone. But we don't talk about anything other than Felicity. Per the order, Felicity stays with him for eight weeks starting the Saturday after school ends. She does come back for two weekends during this time. It's been that way since she started school. I have a boyfriend, Mark, whom I've been seeing for about a year. Felicity hasn't met him, but possibly will in the future. The issue is, a few weeks ago, I re-sent Brad the dates for the summer, and he was okay with it. But after their last call, he asked if he could talk to me, which is never fun, lull. He said that Haley is pregnant and do at the end of May, so he wasn't going to be able to have our daughter until maybe July. He also said that he'd have to stop sending child

support since he's going to be a stay-at-home dad. I'm dealing with that side of things with a lawyer, because I don't know who told him that's how it works, but obviously he's an idiot. The issue is that Mark and I are going on a cruise that starts the Wednesday after Felicity is supposed to go to her dad's. It's a 20-day cruise, and my parents will be taking their annual trip to Europe during that time. So I have nobody who I would trust to watch her for that long, other than her father. The cruise is paid for, and it would cost money to move it. Plus, I already have the time off work approved, and it's a whole thing. I told him that wouldn't work, and I would drop her off at the agreed time and day, and he would need to figure it out. Like I do every year, lull. Obviously,

it's not about not having my daughter, I wish I never had to be away from her, and I told him that for the days that I'm in town and not on the cruise, I'd be more than happy to have her. He got super angry. I guess the whole cruise thing was triggering and he was like, see, you don't even need child support if you're going on luxury cruises. Apparently, I shouldn't do anything fun ever so that he can be a stay-at-home dad. He told me I'm disrespecting his wife, who's going to be a first-time mom, and she needs space so that they can figure out the new baby. I get it, but that's not really my problem. I told him, Again, I have no issue taking her for the days that I'm in town. But I'm not moving my trip just because

they're having a baby. People have older kids and babies all the time and make it work. I don't see why they can't figure it out. He said that since it's her first baby, she needs a few weeks to get used to being a mom, which I get. But Felicity isn't there to see her. She's there to be with her dad. Felicity is excited to see her dad and be a big sister, so she doesn't know any of this is happening, obviously. He's been calling and texting me almost daily about this, not in a harassing way, but acting like I'm being unreasonable. My parents say they can bring Felicity with them, which would be fine. But like I said, she's really excited to see her dad. And honestly, I can't really afford to send her with her grandparents since plane tickets have been insane lately. He said in our last call that I'm

disrespecting them and her motherhood journey. But to me, it's not disrespect. I'm just unable to accommodate them. Am I being unreasonable to think that he needs to stop making me try to figure this out for him? O.P., this guy is basically an absent father and doesn't pay child support. So why do we care about his opinion? He's got a court order to follow, so follow the court order or go to jail. That's how those things work, man. Also, we know he's lying because 10 years old is old enough that she can help out with the baby.

theoretically he should want his daughter to meet his new younger baby brother or sister to bond and to get to know each other so it's not that felicity is going to be a burden during that time it's that he just literally doesn't care about felicity if he were he'd spend more time with her and he would prefer to completely forget about felicity and spend all of his time with his do-over baby op you get zero out of five buttholes i'm giving your ex 3.5 out of five buttholes it's ironic this guy is so stressed out about figuring out how to be a new parent when he still hasn't figured out how to be a new parent with his last child. Am I the butthole for telling my boss to apologize to my wife? My boss called me twice at 5.50 a.m. I was in the bedroom. After I didn't answer, he called my wife at 555 a.m. and woke her up to get me. She later told me she was super freaked out

thinking something happened to me. She had no idea in the moment if I was home or not. It was over a customer machine that was not working, that I was programming the day prior. I rushed in, and the machine was indeed working, albeit they suffered some downtime on the third shift. I called him out in an email and said this was unacceptable behavior and demanded an apology to my wife. Am I absolutely crazy? To me, it's common sense to wait until 7 a.m. or 8 a.m. unless it's literally a matter of life and death. Super unprofessional. The whole point. of your boss having your wife's number is because it's an emergency contact. So in that situation, she should assume that something bad has happened. I'm on your side, O.P., zero out of five buttholes.

Your boss gets one out of five buttholes, maybe 1.5. Am I the butthole for lying to my family about how much money I have? I'm a 19-year-old woman, and I grew up in an extremely poor family with my mom, aunt, and grandma. We're a very small family, and although things have moderately improved, everyone is still lower class. I went to university at 17 and started receiving student loans. My aunt starts asking me for loans regularly. While I lived with my mom, I paid around $400 a month for rent and helped out with things like car insurance. I had to move out at 18 due to constant arguing and strains on my mental health. And since then, she's also occasionally been asking for loans.

After I moved out, I got a part-time minimum wage job to help with the rent in my car. And while I'm not great at saving, I've been trying to put away small amounts each month with the hopes of saving for a deposit on a house. At one point, my mom confessed to me that she had maxed out her credit cards, and I ended up emptying my savings both helping her and giving my aunt's loans of $200 at a time, some of which I never saw back. After this, I told them I wouldn't be able to help them so much anymore. Except recently, they ended up back in the exact same situation. I've replenished a good amount of my savings, but after a long talk with my grandma, who's also been giving them loans, she urged me to keep my savings private. So for the last six months, I've still given them smaller amounts, telling them that's all I can afford. Last week, my aunt was helping me with something on my laptop, and I'd left open a statement from my savings account.

She blew up at me over lying, and when my mom found out, she did the same, saying that if I can afford things like my, tattoos, the club, and other non-essentials, then I should be able to afford helping my family out. Neither of them have talked to me for over a week, saying that I've turned my back on the family, so they can do the same. I feel so guilty, but I'm so tired of helping them out of a situation that they keep returning to. Am I supposed to never enjoy myself because they can't get out of debt? Am I just being selfish here? Opie, yeah, you are being selfish, but it's okay to be selfish. If you work for your money and you earn your money, you get to spend your money on yourself. Besides, your family's being very manipulative and treating their love as transactional.

They should love you and want to spend time with you regardless of how much money you give them. Really, O.P., how many times do you have to keep suffering the same lesson before you finally understand it? Your mom and your aunt are just money black holes. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. You really need to grow up and lose that naivete O.P. Am I the butthole for asking my husband to tell his mother she's no longer allowed in our house unsupervised? My mother-in-law has a long history of crossing boundaries in my home. Examples include opening my mail and packages when I'm not there, rearranging my garage without asking, and moving around my makeup, skincare, and kitchen items while she's visiting. She usually does those things when I'm not home. For context, this is not something my own parents do, and

we've never set an expectation that family members can just do whatever they want in our house. Last Christmas, my husband gave her money to take our two young sons shopping so they could pick out gifts for us. She helped my youngest son choose a dish drying rack and a drying mat for me. So while she was involved in picking it out, it was paid for with my husband's money and given to me as a gift for my son. For comparison, the actual gift she personally gave me was an old bag of potpourri and chapstick. Recently, she was at our house watching the kids while I was at work and my husband was out. When I got home, I noticed things in the pantry had been moved. Then I realized the dish drying rack and Matt were gone.

I'd seen it earlier that day, so I knew it had been there. I asked my kids and my husband if they had moved it. No one knew anything about it. At that point, I strongly suspected my mother-in-law because she's taken gifts back from people before. My husband texted her and asked if she took it. She admitted she did, saying, you don't use it enough, so she took it with her. I was shocked and angry. To me, this is stealing something from my house because she decided I didn't deserve to keep my own property.

My husband thinks I should just let it go and sweep it under the rug. I told him this is a serious boundary issue, and I don't trust her in our home anymore. I requested that she no longer be alone in our house unsupervised. But my husband thinks that what she did wasn't stealing, and I'm making a big deal over nothing. Am I the butthole? Oh, okay, I don't understand what your husband's definition of stealing is, because taking something from someone else's house is pretty much the exact definition, if you ask me. What's even worse is that this likely goes even farther back.

I suspect that the mother-in-law coaxed your child to pick out that gift so that she could steal it later. I would say you have both a mother-in-law problem and a husband problem. O.P, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband and mother-in-law two out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.