rSlash - r/AITA My Broke Mom Wants a $50,000 Funeral

Episode Date: October 9, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:06 Inheritance 4:54 Double standard 8:19 Final wises 10:27 Apology 13:34 Flight Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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If you're ready to finally launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com. Go to Shopify.com today to hear your first. Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where Opie's family tries to steal his inheritance. Am I the butthole for refusing to keep my inheritance as a big, happy family property and wanting my share divided? I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I lost my dad when I was five. I have a 27-year-old sister, and our mom is in her 60s. My dad's side of the family is basically my aunt, his twin, her husband, and their children. They have money, but they're incredibly dysfunctional.

Every single holiday, trip, or family occasion we spent with them growing up was the same. They would have massive fights with each other, often every day. And somehow, my sister and I would always end up caught in the middle. My sister especially would regularly end up crying. As adults, we both avoid them as much as possible. Despite my father, grandmother, and grandfather all having been doctors, my sister and I effectively inherited nothing from my father and later my grandmother when she died. Two years ago, my grandfather died.

This time, as adults, we were directly included in the inheritance. We received nothing from his bank accounts because my mother and aunt told us they were basically empty. What we did inherit were shares in his four properties. one apartment in the city and three separate but adjoining summer houses by the sea. My aunt owns 50% and my sister and I own 25% each. My aunt wants everything to stay jointly owned forever because apparently we're one big happy family. In reality, my sister and I actively avoid spending time with them precisely because being together has meant arguments and drama our entire lives.

The problem is that my aunt uses the summer properties all summer, decides, when we can go and which house we can stay in, and recently told me I couldn't invite friends to a property I literally partly own. That was a breaking point. My husband is a lawyer, so I ask him to start looking into valuations and a possible division of the properties. They're separate houses, so an actual division seems perfectly possible. My aunt went ballistic. My mother's been asking me almost daily to drop it and leave everything as it is. My uncle initially acted reasonable, then basically said division was fine as long as my aunt got the best properties. My sister agreed with me, although she scared my aunt will take it out on our mother. My husband is now getting professional

valuations. Since I refused to back down, my mother has almost stopped speaking to me. She used to call me up twice a day, very often because she needed some favor. Now I hear from her maybe once a week. My aunt is telling my cousins that because of me, there will no longer be this mythical, big, happy family house. My cousin has also made comments more than once along the lines of, I would have liked to inherit something too, but unfortunately, I'm not in the succession, which was a pretty incredible thing to say to two people who are inheriting because their father is dead while hers is very much alive. My sister wanted to eat her alive. My first thought was that if she was that eager to inherit, unfortunately there's only one way to qualify. At this point, I'm also considering

contacting my grandfather's banks myself to understand whether his accounts really were virtually empty when he died. Given that my grandparents were both doctors with good pensions, and after three deaths my sister and I have somehow inherited essentially no money, I'm starting to feel stupid for never asking questions. Am I the butthole for pushing a legal division of the properties and considering investigating what actually happened to my grandfather's money instead of giving into my family and keeping everything jointly owned? Yeah, something's not adding up here, OP. This is super fishy. Three doctors should have a net assets of way over multi-millions of dollars. And that money, I mean, maybe they bought stuff, sure, but if they were buying stuff, it'd be obvious. They would have

boats and cars and, I mean, sure, they've got three properties, but they had no cash at all, no stocks. That sounds super fishy to me. So at minimum, they're lying to you. I also think it's quite likely that they're scamming you. But regardless of what's actually happening with the bank, I would get out of that house deal as quickly as possible. You basically own 25% of nothing. What's the benefit? What do you get, what do you get out of it? Do you get to charge rent from people using it? Do you get to use the properties? Nah, man, it's just another tether to your toxic aunt. So who cares if she blows up at you? She's toxic anyways. Just cut her out of your life, get out of this deal, and cash out. O.P, zero out of five buttholes. I'm amazed you lasted this long.

Your family sucks. Am I the butthole for calling out my mom's double standard between me and my sister. My mom called me a couple of months ago and was basically venting about how frustrated she is with my sister. My sister is in her late 30s, still lives at home, and has been dating a much older man who apparently has no intention of proposing to her. Earlier that day, my dad had a conversation with my sister's boyfriend and asked him what his intentions were. From what my mom told me, the boyfriend basically said that he had no plans to marry my sister and that she wasn't really his. priority. My mom was really stressed out because apparently my sister was okay with this situation, but my mom wasn't. I asked her why our dad had to have that conversation with the boyfriend in the

first place. She said it was because my sister is incapable of having that conversation herself, so they had to step in. I told her that if my sister is a grown adult and they don't like the choices she's making, they should give her the option to move out and live her life however she wants. If she wants to follow their advice, great. If not, she's an adult and can live independently. The reason I suggested this is because my entire 20s were basically filled with my parents threatening to kick me out over the stupidest things, especially whenever I argued with them about my independence.

I eventually moved out in my late 20s. One example, I was once threatened with having to move out if I didn't help them pay the back taxes on their house. I was basically told that if we lost the house, it would be on, me. I ended up taking out a $13,000 loan to pay the government so that we could keep the house. I was in my early 20s. That's just one example. Anyways, after I suggested my sister be given the option to move out if she doesn't want to follow their advice, my mom said, no way, I don't want to do that. I could never do that to my children. And honestly, something in me just snapped. I felt really triggered, but more than that, I suddenly felt like I wasn't.

one of her children. I immediately said, you're a hypocrite. You literally threatened to kick me out all the time. She said, no, I never did that. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I called her a liar and told her she absolutely did threaten to kick me out for years. Honestly, it felt like it happened on a quarterly basis. Then she said, you deserved it, and hung up on me. At the time, I didn't think much of the conversation, because this kind of thing, unfortunately, is not unusual. with her. Anyway, my sister eventually dumped the guy a couple of days after that conversation, and after that, I noticed my mom and dad had stopped going to family events, birthdays, and get-togethers. At first, I assumed my mom was just upset and healing from everything that

happened with my sister's relationship since they're highly enmeshed. Turns out, it was because of me, confirmed by my sister. It's now been over two months, and my mom has completely iced me out and hasn't spoken to me. So am I the butthole? Down in the comments, O.P. is getting a lot of support, helping O.P. understand that her mom is way more toxic than she thinks. We don't know if the mom is a narcissist, but the whole, oh, that never happened, your misremembering, is a classic play out of the narcissist playbook. So hopefully O.P. realizes that her mom icing her out is actually doing O.P. a big favor here. Am I the butthole for refusing mom's final wishes? My mom is nearing the end of her life and she's in hospice. I'm one of five siblings and the second oldest of my sister.

My brother and I are also retired laborers. We worked hard, made good choices, etc. My older sister and two younger siblings are still actively working, but comparatively less successful, but far from poverty. So my sister call to tell me my mom's wishes are to be entombed within the walls of a specific church mausoleum. Without prior discussion, my sister has already gone ahead and started pricing everything out from flowers, a two-day viewing at a funeral home, a casket, luncheon, etc. The works. The message was essentially this. Mom has no money set aside. The state took everything for her care. There will be no inheritance to offset any costs. My brother and I will need to absorb $45,000 to make this happen for mom, because she and our two younger siblings have

no money. My response was that we should tell mom what she wants to hear and plan for the absolute cheapest options, cremation and a simple service. If more is wanted, then all five of us need to contribute. My brother feels the same as I do. The three siblings not pitching in are pissed and think that we're being selfish and they're bad-mouthing us to the family. Am I being unreasonable? Am I the butthole? If they want your mom to be entombed in that mausoleum so badly, then why don't Don't they pay for it? Why does it fall to you? And what a stupidly unreasonable wish?

I can't be like, oh, when I die, I'd like my remains shot into space. So my dear daughter, who's now five, I would appreciate it if you could get, I don't even know, $30 million to buy me a ticket on SpaceX and just, you know, scatter my ashes in the upper atmosphere, I'd appreciate it, sweetie. It's extremely rude and entitled to give such a profound burden to your children when you die. So, O.P., I'm on the side of you and your brother. Everyone else in this story is delusional. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my parents meet my newborn until they apologize to my partner? I'm a 31-year-old guy, and my fiancé is a 29-year-old woman.

We recently brought a baby boy into the world about five weeks ago, and we're incredibly happy with how our little family is turning out. However, my parents have not met him yet, and at this point, I don't want them to. My partner had a complicated, birth, and she requested nobody in the hospital room other than me for the entire thing. My mom specifically had a lot to say about this. Things along the lines of, I already gave birth to three babies. I know what to do better than anyone, and I can teach her how to be a mother from the start. Maybe this came from a good place, however, she never liked my fiance, so I don't believe her comments had good intentions. For example, when we found out that we were pregnant,

took our families out to dinner, and my mom made a very nasty comment that changed our relationship with her drastically, saying to my fiancé, you won't be the last woman my son has a child with, so think deeply about having that baby. When we got home from the hospital, we were overrun with messages from family to see the baby. We politely declined any visitation as my fiancé won at time. However, her uncle, who was almost like a father to her, came by unannounced only to drop off homemade food for us. In doing so, my fiance wanted to see her uncle, so he's the only family member at this time who's met our son. My mom found out, and is outraged. She demanded to meet her grandson, and I put my foot down and told her no. My fiancee heard the phone conversation,

and she told me she can't deal with the constant drama, and to maybe just let her come over and meet the baby already and get over this hump. I disagreed with this decision, as I've always hated the way that my mom talks about my fiance, and this is basically my stand. Yeah, I fully understand my mom is out of line. However, my mom has basically turned my entire family against me, saying how horrible of a son I am to keep the grandmother away from her grandson. This is becoming more drama than I can take. So, am I the butthole? O.P., yes, this is a stand. but this is a hill worth dying on, in my opinion. What she said was completely out of line and disrespectful,

and if you just sweep that under the rug, then she's going to continue to do little, like, micro-insults and, you know, maybe even big insults to your fiancé, and possibly even your kid, too. So why would you even want that kind of toxicity in your house around your family? Draw a clear line in the sand, and don't let your mother cross it without an apology. You get an easy zero out of five bottle,

Honestly, I see so many spineless people in these stories who are like, uh, well, I don't want to make conflict and oh, what if it hurts feelings? That it's honestly a relief to see someone say like, nah, man, that's not cool. You're not allowed around my family. Go F yourself, basically. We need more of that in this world, to be honest. Am I the butthole for not giving my daughter compensation for a flight that I paid for? So I'm a dad, and my daughter, who's 16, got a scholarship to go to another country for a month over the

summer. It was a great scholarship. It paid for all the housing, food, etc. However, the flight had to come out of pocket. I ended up paying for the whole thing, which was $1,500. Everything went smoothly. However, on the trip back, her connecting flight got canceled and she was stuck in LAX Airport for 22 hours. The whole situation was pretty bad, as she wasn't given any of the accommodation she was supposed to have. It was a mess. Now, months later, after sending in lots of e-mings, the airline gave a full refund for the flight. I told my daughter I got the money back, and she reacted like she was getting all of it. So I explained to her that I paid for the flight, so I'd be keeping the money they refunded. She did argue back and forth with me for a while,

but she eventually just gave it up. So am I the butthole? Because right now, I'm on the fence about whether I'm making the right choice. I mean, not only do you deserve the money, O.P., but I also think you should have a sit-down conversation with your daughter about money and entitlement and being grateful for gifts. What she should have said was, thank you, dad, for allowing me to go on this awesome trip to another country and paying for my flights, not, hey, give me that money, that money's mine. I will say, though, in the interest of fairness,

that it might be fair to split some of the money with her, like maybe 25% or like 50%, because ultimately she was the one, who suffered. 22 hours in an airport is pretty miserable. I've been stuck in layovers before. It sucks hard. So while I think you're completely entitled to keep the full 100% refund, I could definitely justify giving some of the money to her as like a, hey, sorry you went through that type situation. Kind of depends on your financial situation and her attitude about the whole scenario. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow

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