rSlash - r/AITA My Bully Became My Sibling

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Affair child 3:18 Agreement 7:43 Food budget 10:58 Money Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's A-U-R-A-Frames.com, promo code R-slash. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome to R-slash-Am I the Butthole, where O.P. finds out that his bully is actually his long-lost sister. Am I the butthole for refusing to attend family functions now that my father's a fair child is being invited to them? I'm an 18-year-old guy, and I've practically always had an issue with Sadie, a 17-year-old girl, whom I've known since kindergarten. Her brother, who's 20, bullied me for six months when I was in first grade. Him and his friends bullied me and a few others, but I was his favorite target.

My mom got involved, and the bully got in a lot of trouble, especially when he was bullying younger kids. After her brother got in trouble, Sadie turned on me, and she's been persistent. My mom was in and out of each school I went to, making sure I was in different classes than Sadie, and that the school didn't let Sadie get away with bullying me too. She didn't stop. At least, she didn't stop until we found out that my dad, is her biological father, which we found out 10 or 11 months ago, which brings me to finding out that my dad cheated on my mom. And my parents are almost at the end of their divorce now. Dad has tried hard to stop it. My dad cheated while my mom was pregnant with me. Sadie's mom

wasn't married, but she was with Sadie's brother's dad, and they got married when Sadie was too. Sadie thought that he was her dad too. But he didn't treat her the same, and I've been told over and over to be forgiving and compassionate, because the exclusion and verbal abuse that she got from the person she thought was her dad made her lash out. I was pissed when I found out. I was pissed at dad for doing that to mom. But of all people, my dad had to make Sadie?

Yeah, I made it clear to everyone that Sadie might have the same biological dad as me, but I would never be her brother. And I still hate her, so she can F off and leave me alone. My dad's family aren't talking to him either. They don't like the mess he made, and they tried to rally around me and my mom. But a few months ago, they started to change, and would ask us to change our feelings towards Sadie and to find compassion. My mom had none for her, and she told Dad's family members there was no way that she would

family up to a girl who tormented me for a decade, and even cyber harassed me with messages telling me to kill myself. I told my dad's family that I wasn't willing to have a relationship with Sadie. I said I wouldn't stop them, but they shouldn't expect to see me where Sadie would be. They told me a million times that she's my sister, and I told them she's dad's a fair kid and a stalker, and I hate her. I said that dad's screwing up and making her doesn't change that. Sadie's first family function is this Christmas, and dad's side is annoyed that I won't show my face even for a little while. They told me it would be good for me and for Sadie, and I told them I don't care what's good for Sadie.

I said seeing her would ruin my Christmas, just like having to pretend that I don't hate her would ruin it. They told me I should see all that she's been through and be willing to at least see her for their sakes. Am I the butthole? AOP, while you're cutting Sadie out of your life, maybe cut out a few other people as well. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Sadie three out of five butt holes and your dad, four out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that I'm going back on our agreement and I don't care if he cries about it? My husband and I, who are both 32, have been together since we were 19.

Our entire relationship feels like it just blew up in my face, basically, and I can't tell if I'm overreacting. So we both wanted one child, and we planned this for years. We wanted everything perfect first. The home, the careers, the savings, the investments, the nest egg, etc. because we both knew very early on that once we had a baby, I'd be staying home full-time and raising our child. His brother's life was unfortunately cut short by a daycare worker when he was just five months old back in 2017. So daycare wasn't an option, basically, and we need to make sure our ducks were in a row so I could stay home and be a full-time parent. Two years ago, we were sitting on half a million dollars in investments.

A few nest digs in different types of savings and bonds accounts, and we bought a house. We even bought a damn boat. Everything we planned for fell into place. Finally, and we started trying for a baby. We now have a perfect four-week-old daughter. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant due to placenta abruption, but otherwise everything went fine. Our daughter's perfectly healthy, was a good weight, and I bounced back from delivery fairly quickly because of how much of a support system my husband was. He did more than his fair share, while still working full time, which is partially why I can't tell if I'm being dramatic or if this is hormones or postpartum or whatever. Like, I'm legitimately livid. Basically, earlier this afternoon, I got a phone

call from the Department of Health and Human Services to go over health insurance options and whether or not the baby is eligible for state insurance based off our income. Anyways, the agent says that we aren't eligible because my husband makes too much money and that we'll need to add our daughter to our private insurance. That's absolutely no problem at all. I kind of figure that anyways. But then, the agent offhandedly mentions that my husband makes $10,920 monthly gross and that the cutoff for state insurance is 7.8K gross. Well, here's the issue. For months, my husband has been telling me that he only makes $6,000 a month after taxes. So I get off the phone and I log into my husband's computer and into his banking. And sure enough, his monthly take-home is bordering around $8,500. He's transferring everything

over $6,000 into an account that I didn't even know existed. So I call him out on this, and he breaks down and tells me he just wanted something that was only his. Please keep in mind that all of my money has always gone into our joint account that he uses on a daily basis. So he's been hiding money from me so that he can have his own money while plugging away at mine. He has over $45,000 sitting in that account, while telling me last week that we couldn't have steak for dinner because spending $38 on two stakes was a waste of money. So I told him I'm putting the baby in daycare

and going back to work because obviously I need to safeguard myself if he's hiding away money. Something feels off about it. I don't know. He instantly started crying. because of the daycare trauma. But I truly just don't trust him financially anymore. I no longer feel secure here.

I said I changed my mind and I don't care if he cries about it. Am I the butthole? Well, you know, one option is if the husband is so worried about daycare, he could stay at home while OP works. But no, this guy wants to have his money and save it too. It's not even fair for you to say that you went back on your agreement. He's the one who went back on his agreement by high. money from you by lying. This is financial infidelity. You know, one thing you could spend that

$45,000 on is a live-in nanny. Like, this guy's basically expecting you to solve his trauma and is punishing you for it. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband four out of five buttholes. If I were in your shoes, I would never, ever become a stay-at-home mom. I would have to go back to work too. I'd probably also consider divorcing him. Probably divorce them. I don't know, I have to think about it. Divorcing when you've got a four-week-old really stings, but sometimes it's just necessary. Am I the butthole for giving my son's girlfriend a budget for the dinner she's making? My son, who's 23, graduated university back in June, and he moved back across the country to live with us since he found a job in the area. He's been in a long-distance

relationship with his girlfriend, Carmela, who's 21 since October. She initially took a semester her off college and was living with her mom. However, she decided she's not going back. Her mom said that she would have to move out, and Carmela had nowhere to go. My son is moving into his own place in January, and had invited her to move in already, saying she could get a job in the area. However, Carmela needed to move out of her mom's house sooner, and they both asked me if she could move in here. I agreed. Neither was paying rent, as I personally don't believe in charging my kids to live here, so it felt wrong to charge Carmela any. I just asked that they clean up after themselves and be respectful of everyone.

They agreed. Carmela moved in after Halloween and she's been a joy to have here. She's still looking for a job. Most nights, she's offered to cook dinner to give back to us. I've always told her it's not necessary, but she insists. She's a good cook, so I tell her if she wants to, have at it. A week into her living here, she mentioned wanting to make a certain dish, but we didn't have the ingredients. I offered to give her my card so she could buy groceries. Once then, it's become a regular thing. I didn't mind it initially. She picked up my groceries as well, and it seemed to be a good deal all around.

But then, a couple of weeks in, she started wanting to make multiple trips a week and buy things that I normally wouldn't budget for a regular basis, such as steak and seafood. I asked her on Sunday when she went to the store to please get everything she needed in one trip. She said okay, and I thought that solved the problem. Cut to Monday night and we finished dinner. She and my son are talking while I'm doing the dishes. Carmela mentions wanting to make steak on Thursday. My son says that sounds good.

Carmela says she'll have to go back to the store. My son turns to me and says, Mom, give her the card. I tell them no. I say I already gave her money to go shopping on Sunday, and I told her to get everything she needed. I also said that we can't swing everyone having stakes this week. There's six people in the house.

But maybe I could make them for Christmas dinner. I then go on to say that if Carmela wants to keep cooking for us, which I appreciate, I'm going to put her on a budget. I apologize for not doing it sooner. Carmela looks upset and my son seems offended. Later on, my son tells me I embarrassed Carmela when she was just trying to be nice. I said I appreciate her cooking dinner, but she's doing it on my dime and I can't afford this. I pointed out that he's free to give her money to do this. My son pointed out that they're only here a few more weeks, can't I make my guest happy? Am I really in the wrong here? O.P., you're not the butthole because setting a budget is normal. Carmela's not the butthole because she's genuinely trying to show

gratitude. The butthole in this story is your son. He's not paying rent and he has a job. Why can't he pay for groceries? That's a great way for him to pay back you for letting both of them stay there for free. And also just demanding you to give him the card, he's coming off as a bit entitled. So I'm giving your son 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for never disclosing to my grandchildren's father how much I planned to give my grandchildren towards their futures? My daughter died when my two grandchildren were young. My son-in-law remarried and created a blended family of his, hers, and theirs. My husband and I knew that our daughter had left some money in a trust for our grandchildren's future, but she was young when she died and didn't have a lot to leave them. So we decided to make

sure that our grandkids would receive a very comfortable amount from us once they reached the age of 18. This was to help with college or pay for a house or to allow them the ability to train for their dream careers. We never told our son-in-law. This was done so that we would not be asked to split the money between all the children, and so our grandchildren would not be prioritized less by their father or his wife. This money wasn't supposed to act as child support or money for the household. It was for my grandchildren. Our oldest grandchild graduated two years ago, and we gave her access to the money, and she never told her dad. Our youngest grandchild graduated this year and was quick to set up a high-interest savings account, and he made the choice to skip college to pursue

a different path towards his career. This led to a conversation where my son-in-law learned about the savings. My son-in-law's wife was furious with my husband and me for not disclosing the money to them years before. My son-in-law was hurt that we chose to do this instead of giving something to all the children. He said, us not telling him added to his hurt because he had hoped that we would want all the children to have the same start in their adult lives. He felt like we should have told him so he and his wife could plan accordingly. My youngest grandchild moved in with us after the trouble started, and both my grandchildren had discussed the issue with their dad several times. But he still insists that my husband and I should have told him. Am I the butthole?

O.P., you called that, like a prophet who can see the future. Turns out, if you had told the son-in-law what you plan to do, he would have allocated more of his money towards the stepkids, which in effect means that O.P. is giving money to the grandchildren as well, because O.P. is subsidizing their lifestyle. O.P., you are in the clear. You get zero out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. At Fandual Casino, you get even more ways to play. Dive into new and exciting games and all of your favorite casino classics, like slots,

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