rSlash - r/AITA My Coworker Spread Rumors I'm a Ped*

Episode Date: July 12, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 False accusations 3:16 Moving in 5:04 Rich 7:29 Comment 7:42 Contact 12:20 Consequences 15:59 Wedding pictures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation. And when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash y amex. Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where one of OP's co-workers spreads rumors that he's a P-word.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Am I the butthole for loudly confronting my co-worker in front of everyone when she wrongly believed I had groomed my wife? I'm a 30 year old guy. My wife, Jessica, is 22. My wife has a 7 year old son, Max, whom she had when she was 15 years old. The father, who was her boyfriend in junior high school and is the same age as Jessica, actually left the state when he and his family learned that she was pregnant. Jessica has no idea where she is, and since her family is well off, she didn't really need or care for his support. I met Jessica when she was 20.
Starting point is 00:01:10 We dated for a year and then got married when she was 21. I love Max and raised him as if he was my own son. Last month, Max came to my workplace with Jessica in the early afternoon to surprise me with the lunch outing. As they waited for me to finish up a meeting, the front desk secretary, Claire, chatted with Jessica. I wasn't there for the conversation, but Claire was stunned at how young Jessica looked, and Jessica said that she was 22. Apparently, Claire did a bit of napkin math and came to the following conclusions. 1. Jessica is 22 and I am 30. 2. Max is 7. 3. That means that
Starting point is 00:01:47 Jessica and I had Max when she was 15 and I was 23. Apparently, from that day on, Claire began gossiping about this. I had no idea what was going on, but I did notice that Claire abruptly changed her attitude towards me, glaring when she thought that I wasn't looking or rolling her eyes when I talked to other people. Well today at work, when I was in the bathroom washing my hands, I overheard Claire gossiping with a new hire about my underaged wife outside the door by the water cooler. I left the bathroom and then walked up behind Claire. She turned around and looked like a deer in the headlights when she saw me, so I announced
Starting point is 00:02:24 loudly, Hi Claire, you see, I'm not Max's biological father. In all of your gossiping to other people, you forgot to consider the most obvious possibility, which was I'm his stepfather. I will, by the way, be reporting you to HR for this. I headed directly to HR and explicitly told them what Claire had said and the manager, a fellow gossip friend of Claire's, asked if I really wanted to escalate this over something so small. I said yes.
Starting point is 00:02:54 She then told me that Claire is a single mother and relies on this job and that I shouldn't have embarrassed her in front of the office like that. I insisted on filing a report. After calming down a bit, I feel kind of bad about what I did. Claire cried at her desk and left early. Was I a butthole to approach the issue this way? Okay, so it's okay for her to embarrass you in front of the entire office, but you can't embarrass her in front of the entire office? Bullsh**t! That is BS!
Starting point is 00:03:24 This is a big deal. She's literally telling co-workers that you are a P-word. Something that's so reprehensible in society that I can't even say the word because YouTube will nuke the video. This is a big deal what she's implying. A huge deal. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Claire 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my family move in because my 16 year old son doesn't want them to? About 5 years ago, my husband cheated on me and then abandoned our family. It was an incredibly difficult time.
Starting point is 00:04:00 I was left alone to raise our son, who was just 11 at the time. None of my family members offered any help or support. We were essentially on our own. The only person who helped us was my father, who was a great support system both emotionally and financially. When my father passed away two years ago, he left me a significant inheritance. This money allowed me to buy a house and provide a stable and comfortable life for my son and me.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Since my husband left, my son and I have become very close. We've been through a lot together and our bond is incredibly strong. I would do anything for him. Recently, some of my extended family members have fallen on hard times and asked if they could move in with us. Given our history, I was initially hesitant. I discussed it with my son and he was very much against the idea. He remembers how nobody was there for us when we needed them the most and feels strongly that they shouldn't benefit from
Starting point is 00:04:56 our home now. Understanding his feelings and valuing his comfort, I decided to tell my family that they couldn't move in with us. Now they're upset and accusing me of being selfish and ungrateful. They say that I owe them support because we're family. I don't think that I'm a butthole and I honestly don't care what they think as long as my baby is happy, but I still want to hear other people's opinions. Hey look at that, what goes around comes around. OP, this is just good old fashioned poetic justice. I wouldn't feel bad about it in the slightest.
Starting point is 00:05:28 I'm giving you and your son 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the hypocritical family members 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my brother's wife that we can't all have rich parents like her and her siblings? My brother Nikki, who's 25, is married to Lisa, who's 24. They were at my parents house on Sunday for dinner and Liza really annoyed me, something that isn't new, and I said something in anger that I might be the butthole for, maybe. So Liza has a wealthy family. They paid for her and her siblings' college expenses 100%. They paid for Nikki and Liza's house. They paid for their wedding.
Starting point is 00:06:05 They're paying for one of their son's weddings this summer. They can afford all of that. Liza has always been very open about it. She never hid the fact that she came from money and was never shy about saying that her parents pay for so much for her and her siblings. Liza doesn't understand that we're not all that lucky. I'm a 19 year old woman and I work full time and still live with my parents. We couldn't afford college. I didn't get the grades for a scholarship. I struggled enough through school that getting into massive debt for college when I could end up flunking seemed like a bad move for me. So I focused on working and applied for a couple of training programs close to my parents' house so that I could try to do better without risking debt for nothing.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Liza looks down on me hard for living with my parents and not going to college. Sunday, she talked about how all of her siblings attended college and how three of them are still in college, living there and doing just fine. How they'll be able to buy houses right out of college. How even she and my brother could do it. My parents politely said that not everyone can do that. But then she talked about me being 19 and not being in college or living on my own and how I should really try so much harder.
Starting point is 00:07:18 I snapped at her and told her we can't all have rich parents who can afford to pay our way through college, for our weddings, and for our houses. I told her that my parents didn't have that kind of money and neither did I, so we were doing our best in this awful economy. Liza told me that I'm just lazy and making excuses and she stormed out. Nicky left a while after and he was pretty quiet. I know that it was Liza pretending to be my brother sending me text messages because she texts in a very specific way. Am I the butthole? Ugh, sounds like Liza's parents bought her all kinds of things. Too bad they couldn't buy her a decent personality.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Gonna read this comment from DrTeethPhD Your sister-in-law was born on third base and was convinced that she hit a triple. Tell her to shove her bootstraps where the sun don't shine. I agree. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Liza 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole? My daughter just contacted me after 17 years asking me if I want to meet my granddaughter. Am I the butthole for telling her that I don't care about her or her daughter and to never contact me again? I'm in my 60s now. I was married to my ex-wife and we had a daughter.
Starting point is 00:08:29 Our marriage was going through its ups and downs, but I was really close with our daughter. But as our marriage was going through its difficulties, I made a huge mistake that I still regret to this day. I started having an affair with my coworker. My coworker was in a violent, physically abusive relationship at home. We became friends at work and things just escalated from there. I was an escape for her. She got the support she needed to file for divorce from her husband, who's currently
Starting point is 00:08:55 in jail now. The affair went nowhere and we called it off shortly after, but I was glad that she got off her abusive relationship and that she was safe. But when my wife found out about the affair, things expectedly didn't go well. She lashed out and said a lot of horrible things about me to our daughter who was 15 at the time. I admitted full fault with the affair, but even after the divorce, I sensed the distance between me and my daughter was growing until one day my daughter said that she wasn't
Starting point is 00:09:23 going to speak with me anymore and she was going to cut me out of her life forever. That was the most painful thing that anyone has ever said to me. I begged her to reconsider. I still remember that day. But time passed on. My daughter kept her word and after trying to connect with her for the first year I gave up. I found out from one of my mutual friends that my ex-wife married a great guy. I was happy because I was hoping that would remove the hatred from my ex-wife and my ex-wife would advise our daughter to at least rekindle a relationship with me. But that never happened. I moved states a year later.
Starting point is 00:09:59 I'm at peace now, but I still have some aching sadness. I've retired, both my parents have passed away, my brother passed away tragically a couple of years ago. To be honest, I'm waiting for my turn. I only have my dog and my sister left. A couple of hours ago, my daughter called me on my phone. I haven't spoken to her in 17 years. I instantly recognized her voice, but I didn't feel anything. No happiness, no sadness, just indifference. She was crying a lot on the call and we caught up on life.
Starting point is 00:10:32 She's married and she has a daughter who's now 12. She apologized for cutting off contact and says that her mom asked her to reconnect with me because her mom felt guilty about how everything played out. She said that she really wanted me to meet her daughter and her daughter was constantly asking me about granddaddy. But I wasn't feeling anything. After we caught up on everything in our life, I told her that I don't care about her or her daughter and to never contact me again.
Starting point is 00:10:58 Then I hung up. Was I the butthole? Yeah, clearly you are the butthole OP. Your daughter was completely justified in cutting you out of her life because you threw her life into chaos. But now I guess your feelings are hurt so you're taking it out on your daughter 17 years later. I would love love love to hear the daughters or the wives perspective of this because I'm
Starting point is 00:11:22 going to be honest, I don't believe OP's story. I think that he's a liar and that we're getting a super colored version of the truth. Like the whole first paragraph, he goes on and on about how he's a hero who saved a coworker from physical abuse and that mean guy is in jail now and if it weren't for OP, who's a hero really if you think about it, that girl would still be abused. Okay, sure. You know, maybe the story is 100% accurate, but my BS meter's going off here. Anyways, OP posted an update.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words that came out of my mouth weren't the best, and my comments on my post weren't great either. Seeing how everyone said that I was the butthole, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn't really expect her to pick up the call, but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this reddit post and I told her that I know that I'm the butthole,
Starting point is 00:12:20 that thousands of people said so. She again said that I wasn't the butthole and she started crying again. I told her that she's free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months because after that I'll be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country and we'll be spending the rest of our lives there. My daughter said that she would come with her husband and her daughter by the end of next week.
Starting point is 00:12:43 She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted. Am I the butthole for telling my mom and siblings that they should learn to live with the consequences of their decisions? So my family is my dad, mom, my two sisters and my two brothers. I'm a 17 year old guy and the oldest. My dad was estranged from his dad since he was my age. His mom died when he was 10, so we never knew my grandma either. My dad was open about
Starting point is 00:13:12 the fact that grandpa wasn't a very nice man and all kinds of stuff, but he never went into details. I know that he really did a number on dad because I still sometimes see Dad look ashamed if he spills something or makes a mistake. I also know he tries to hold back anytime he cries and looks downright disgusted with himself for crying. Three years ago, my dad's father reached out to my mom and my sister who's 15. They were so excited and basically welcomed him into the family. Dad said, no way! He and mom fought him into the family. Dad said no way. He and mom fought a lot about it.
Starting point is 00:13:47 My siblings all told my dad that they had a right to know our grandfather and that he should love his dad. I was dragged along at first but eventually I stopped going. Dads refused to have any part of it and he and mom fought because he told her his father was never going to step foot inside our house and if he did, then dad would leave and he would never come back. So my mom took my siblings to see him. Christmas was this huge f-ing fight last year because they decided to spend it with my dad's father and my dad refused to go and so did I. My siblings started crying into dad's face that they wanted to have Christmas with him.
Starting point is 00:14:25 My mom was calling him selfish. With me she tried to do the whole, I'm your mother and you listen to me, and my dad told her that he's my father and I could stay with him if I wanted to. They're still sour about it. But then Dad took me out for his birthday and didn't come home until late because he found out they were planning to take him out to meet his father. My dad told my mom and my siblings that since he can't trust them with his birthday, he'll only celebrate with the people that he can now trust. I also heard him tell mom that this couldn't continue and they needed to divorce. Now my mom is freaking out because she
Starting point is 00:15:02 doesn't want divorce and my siblings are really upset. They told me that I should help them since dad and I are still really close. I told them that they should learn to live with the consequences of their decisions. I pointed out to mom that she was always big on us learning. I told them this is a big one. My mom told me that my siblings are so young and don't deserve this. I told her that it's all her fault because she undermined my dad by making a point to demand that he come in front of my siblings and they think they can manipulate him and
Starting point is 00:15:33 not listen. Am I the butthole? I literally can't fathom why anyone on earth would want to have a relationship with someone who abused a loved one. I don't know what your mom was thinking. I can't really be too harsh with your siblings because we only know the age of one of them who's 15. So the others could be like four for all we know. We can't really hold them responsible. 15 is definitely old enough to know better and your mom is certainly old enough to know what's going on. Like why would you choose an abuser over your own husband, the father of your what, 1, 2,
Starting point is 00:16:07 3, 4, 5 kids? It almost feels like your mother is intentionally seeking out a divorce. I don't know what's going through her head. OP, I'm giving you and your dad 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your mom 4 out of 5 buttholes, your grandpa either 4 or 5 out of 5 buttholes depending on the level of abuse, and your siblings are big question mark because we don't know how old they are. Am I the butthole for doing a half-hearted job taking family pictures at a wedding after
Starting point is 00:16:33 being told to shut up and stop being a smartass? I was taking pictures at a family wedding as a favor. I was being paid about half of what I normally charge, and I was fine with that. The bride is my favorite cousin and her husband is amazing. During the Formals, the wedding party was great and I got lots of great shots. When it came time to take pictures of different family groups with the couple, people were buttholes. They wouldn't stop talking or they would look away from the camera. I politely tried reminding everyone that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod and that it took still images, not video. I was repeatedly told to
Starting point is 00:17:10 shut up and stop being a smartass and that they knew what a camera was. I asked my wife to record video of the responses for me. My cousin was delighted with the pictures from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. She laughed her butt off at the family pictures. In about half of them, people were looking off in all directions instead of at the camera. In most of those, there were also people with their mouth open. She thought they were hilarious and her husband agree. I started catching flak on social media from my family about the terrible pictures. I replied that I tried to explain to them that the camera was the big black thing on
Starting point is 00:17:46 the tripod and that it only took still pictures. They said that I should have waited for them to be ready. So I started posting the short video clips of people being jackasses towards me. My mom said that I went too far and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. I did a fake cry and said, boo hoo. She called me a smart aleck. People are upset because they don't often dress up and get together and they didn't take good pictures.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Well, if they wanted to take good pictures, they should have posed for good pictures. What a bunch of morons. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving them one out of five buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole. And and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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