rSlash - r/AITA My Dad Married My Bully

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

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Am I the bad guy? Where a single dad marries the mother of his daughter's bully. Am I the bad guy for telling my brother that he moved too fast for the outcome that he ultimately wanted? My brother, who's 39, has a daughter, Piper, who's 15. When Piper was four, her mom died. My brother has told Piper so much about her mom, and they had special photos of her mom that are treasured. When Piper was six, she started being teased by this girl, Nancy, who's currently 15.

It continued on for over a year, and it ultimately came to a head when Nancy tore up a photo of Piper's mom that Piper brought into school for some show-and-tell family addition that her class was doing. From that day on, Piper did not like Nancy. Because of that incident, my brother and Nancy's mom met. They became friends, and a few months after the incident where Nancy tore up the photo, they started dating, and they married a year later. Piper pulled away from my brother when she found out that he was dating Nancy's mom, and

even more when they moved in together and got married. Nancy was actually happy and tried to get close to Piper, but Piper wanted nothing to do with that. Nancy's mom mentioned how being sisters would mend the rift, and I thought that was kind of crazy, given what went down. My brother recently mentioned to me that he really thought that Piper and Nancy would be sisters and would be close by now. But Piper still doesn't want anything to do with Nancy and doesn't trust her around anything important. I told my brother that that's because he moved too fast to get that kind of relationship with them.

I said that he and his wife started dating when Nancy hadn't even apologized. Also, Piper was still upset about who he was dating and with Nancy being in her life more after they got married. I told him that at no point did he try to make what happened better for Piper. He thought that his marriage license would somehow erase the hurt that Piper felt and the bullying that Nancy put Piper through

for more than a year. I said, maybe if he had given it time, let Nancy apologize and given the girl space where they weren't living together to interact outside of school, then things could have happened. But now you have one child who's hurt and angry, and another who's eager to have a dad and sibling after only having a mom.

My brother said that I expected him to let Piper dictate his life. I said, no, that's not what I said. I said, if he wanted Piper to be happy and embrace Nancy as a sibling, then he should have taken things more slowly to get that outcome. He told me that it was none of my business and I was overstepping and just his little sister. Am I the bad guy? Okay, there's two separate issues.

The first is, did your brother do something wrong? The second is, are you wrong for talking to your brother the way you did about what he did wrong? First one's easy. Yes, your brother the way you did about what he did wrong. First one's easy, yes your brother did something wrong. Bringing your daughter's bully into the family is toxic. It is toxic, it is abusive, it is entitled, it is not the behavior of a good father. Of all the 4 billion women on planet earth, this guy had to date that mom, that woman,

the mother of his daughter's bully, come on man. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. Don't date the family of sharks that's trying to eat your daughter. Kind of a clunky metaphor, but you understand my point. So um, man, I'm gonna give the dad, I think 4.5 out of 5 bad guys, I think what he did is incredibly toxic. And if I had to guess, it's probably gonna permanently mess up Piper in some degree and give her some long lasting trauma that she's gonna be struggling with her entire life. Basically his dad is telling Piper that

his happiness and his desire to get laid is more important than his own daughter's safety. His own daughter's mental health. And that's just disgusting. So yeah, I'm giving him 4.5 out of 5 bad guys. Nancy, I'm giving her 2.5 out of 5 bad guys. It sounds like what happened happened when she was like 6 or 7, so I can't be too harsh on her, but what she did was nasty, man. Poor Piper gets 0 out of 5 bad guys. I feel really bad for her. And OP, I'm also giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys.

Your brother's a bad person, and you're like, hey, five bad guys your brothers a bad person and you're like hey bro You're being a bad person stop being so disrespectful to your daughter The outrage of calling me a bad person when I'm a good person to my daughter who I allowed to be bullied all the time Not man It's so incredibly toxic that this guy is like should I let my daughter dictate my life? Well, no your daughter can't boss you around, but there's a difference between letting your daughter boss you around and making decisions

that won't actually bring physical and mental harm to your daughter. Dude, come on, man. What a child, what a baby. Am I the bad guy for wanting my sister to pay me back? Because my nephew lost my electric scooter? Last year, I bought an E-Move Cruiser electric scooter which I've since modified to add more speed, a new handlebar and some other modifications.

The scooter itself was not cheap at 1,500 bucks, plus mods puts it at over $2,000. I have a sister who's 43 and a nephew, a 13 year old boy, who I always let house it for me when I'm out of town on business. I have pets and plants that I need taken care of and they're always welcome to a change of scenery. So I had to go in a business trip last month for a week and I let them house it. My nephew's always asked about my scooter and I told him that it isn't for kids because it's extremely fast and I've expressly forbidden

him from writing it multiple times. His mother knows about this as well. Well, I came back from my trip and my sister tells me that I'm going to be mad, but my nephew took my scooter out, left it unattended and had it stolen. I was effing pissed and asked them to leave. I told them they'd have to replace it and my sister pleaded with me that they couldn't afford it, that it was just a mistake, and that he could do chores around my house to pay me back. I told her that chores don't replace my scooter.

She said that their money would have to come from their vacation fund. I said, tough luck. Our parents have gotten involved and said that I'm taking it too far. They agree that my nephew should be punished and I should be paid back, but to take away their family vacation is just cruel and petty. They suggested a payment plan. I told them hell no that I used my scooter to commute to work often and that I wanted back immediately.

Furthermore, he was warned not to write it since it's dangerous. Now that I've started to calm down here a little, I wonder if I'm being an A-hole here by being so demanding and potentially punishing everyone else for my nephew's mistake. Okay, OPE clarifies in an edit. The first question I was gonna ask, which is, is OPE paying them for house sitting?

Okay, let me explain. My sister and nephew view house sitting as a mini vacation. I have offered money every time to them to do the job, but they refuse, so instead I give them free run of the house and money for meals. I did have insurance on the scooter, but they won't do anything without a police report. My sister didn't file one. She didn't think the cops would accept the report because it wasn't a car or some nonsense like that.

And no, I will not be filing a report with the cops over my nephew. Listen, I'm furious at him and my sister, but I'm not going to get him into legal trouble over this. He needs to be taught a harsh lesson, but jail time and a record isn't one of them. At least not in this instance. That being said, I'm going to take some time and think of an appropriate and harsh punishment for my nephew. I'll probably end up accepting their payment plan, but insist on interest.

It's not about the money, it's about principle. It's about the principle? O.P. is that a pun? O.P. I think I'm mostly on your side on this one. If it was like they weren't gonna be able to feed themselves or afford rent to give you back the scooter money, then yeah, I'd be like, okay, calm down buddy. But they can't go on vacation. Okay, well maybe you shouldn't steal people's $2,000 scooters.

Also, I was about to blast you for not paying your sister, but if your sister turned down the money and views the house sitting as you doing them a favor, then I guess that's kind of like equal value, so that's kind of irrelevant, I guess. Fundamentally, your sister is responsible for her kid's actions, so if you steal something, then she's on the hook for it. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your nephew 2.5 out of 5 bad guys for the theft. I'm giving your sister 2 out of 5 bad guys for allowing the theft to happen under her

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I'm a 31 year old woman and I'm currently doing my residency in internal medicine. It's brutal, but I should be finished in December. I have five cousins on my dad's side. Most of them have non-health related careers, but Andy, who's 32, is a chiropractor, and Kayla, who's 26, is a chiropractor, and Kayla, who's 26, is a nurse practitioner. Now, my dad's family has had at least one or two doctors in every generation. My grandpa and his brother were both family medicine.

My dad is a urologist, and one of my aunts is a pediatrician. Wow, OP! Your family must be super smart and super rich. When I was in high school in college, my grandparents used to talk about how I would carry on the tradition and be the first doctor in my generation of our family. My other cousins were very clear that they weren't interested. Last weekend, we had an early Easter celebration and egg hunt with my dad's side. Some people are on call this coming weekend, so it made more sense to do it early.

At the table, my grandma was asking about my residency, and how happy they were to see me as the first doctor of my generation. Andy, the chiropractor, butted in, and pointed out that he and Kayla are also doctors. I was frankly annoyed, and a little tipsy, so I told him that chiropractor and nurse practitioner aren't the same thing as a physician at all. Chiropractic is pseudoscience and can even be dangerous for patients. Nursing is a great career and I'm proud of my cousin, but a nurse practitioner is its own distinct thing. Andy got pissy and called me privileged and arrogant.

Kayla kind of took my side, but then said something about how nurse practitioner school is just as challenging as medical school, and that it's only devalued because nursing is a historically female career path. My grandpa interjected to tell them both to take a seat, that they weren't doctors and shouldn't be claiming as such. After lunch, Kayla pulled me aside and uninvited me to her private practice grand opening next month. She said that she only wanted people who would cheer her on to attend, and she felt that it was best if I skipped. I didn't really want to go anyway. I have very limited free time, so I said that I respected that. Am I the bad guy? Okay, so are you the bad guy for addressing what your cousin said,

which was factually incorrect? No, you're not the bad guy for that, because he was factually incorrect. However, I'll be straight with UOP. You all sound just generally unpleasant to be around. Andy is obviously either insecure or jealous. And he's right about you. You do sound kind of arrogance. Even though you

were technically right, you don't really need to point it out because you're in a family of doctors. Everyone knows that doctors are doctors and that chiropractors and nurse practitioners aren't actually doctors. And like, you don't want to go cheer on your cousin for opening up her own practice, even though you said that you're proud of her. It's not really clear from this post how close you are to Kayla, but that seems kind of, I don't know, cold heartless. And then Kayla, I feel kind of bad for her because she got caught up in this argument between you and your cousin, and she is right. Nursing is devalued culturally because it's historically a female career path, even though it's a great profession. But even then, it kind of sounds like Kayla needs to chill out a little bit. Uninviting you from the event just because you were defending your profession from your cousin seems a bit far. So I think I'll give everyone in

this story 0.5 out of 5 bad guys. Sounds like you all have a very high IQ, but maybe not a super high EQ. Am I the bad guy for telling my girlfriend that I told her so after one of her male friends tried to get with her? My girlfriend has more than a few guy friends, and I'm not one of those guys that things that men and women can't be friends. However, with two of these guys, it's very clear that they want more than just friendship from her. Like, clear as day to the point where I

don't get how she doesn't see it. If I can notice just by the weird energy they try to exude when I'm present, then she should be able to, too, right? Wrong. Any time I've pointed this out, she gets upset with me. She tells me that I'm being jealous and reading into things that aren't there. I argue back that I'm just letting her know, and as a guy, I can probably tell much better than she can since women tend to be a little slow regarding things like this. So, two nights ago, she was hanging out with her friends and this guy was present. From what she told me, they were all drinking, and he said some things that implied that he'd want to be with her. She was made uncomfortable by this, and the night ended shortly after.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. She got a series of texts apologizing for what he said, and then backpedaling and saying that he would treat her so much better than me and that she's wasting her time with me. She, of course, said no and was upset with him. After she told me, I just read the text and simply said, wow, who could have seen this coming? A bit sarcastically. This set her off and she got mad. She said that I was being a huge butthole to her and she had no way of seeing this coming.

She's been pissed at me since. Opie, um, honestly, I was kind of on your side up into the point where you were like, well, what can I say? Women are just kind of on your side up into the point where you were like, well, what can I say? Women are just kind of dumb, right fellas? Haha, I kind of think the mask slipped a little bit on this post and we got to see how OP is honestly kind of a jerk. This girl had a terrible night.

She got hit on when she didn't want to get hit on, she lost a friend theoretically. She probably feels upset because she's worried that this might make you insecure and jealous, but still, she does the right thing as a girlfriend and tells you everything, including showing you the texts. And like, what's her reward for being a good loyal girlfriend who does the right thing? You scolding her and then going online and calling her kind of dumb on the internet. Look, man, I understand that the impulse in a relationship to say, I told you so,

is incredibly strong. Man, it's something you've really got to resist in a relationship. And, you know, there might have been a time in a place to be like, I told you so, but right after she gets harassed, right in the middle of this, probably emotional moment where she's losing a friend

and she's insecure about her relationship, you choose that moment to say, uh-huh, well, I told you so. No, man, you comfort her. You say, thank you for showing me the text. I really appreciate the honesty. I'm sorry that happened, sweetie. Some guys just don't have good intentions. And then you comfort her and cuddle and move on, but alas, you didn't handle it that way. So, for your overall douchebag-in-us, I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 bad guys.

I'm giving your girlfriend an easy 0 out of 5 bad guys. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. episodes every single day.