rSlash - r/AITA My Deadbeat Sister Wants My House for Free

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Financial decisions 3:31 Rental 6:35 Child support 10:08 Perfume 13:09 Hall pass Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP sister demands to have OP's house Am I the butthole for refusing to let my sister's family live in my house after they sold theirs for a dream vacation? Yo, what they sold their house for a vacation. Are they nuts? So I'm a 32 year old guy and I own a modest three-bedroom house that I've been paying off for the last 10 years It's nothing fancy, but it's mine and I'm proud of it. My 29 year old sister and her 31 year old husband are the typical free spirited types. They're always talking about quitting the rat race, living life to the fullest, all that. Well, a few months ago, they finally did it.

They sold their house during a booming market thinking the profit would fund a year-long break to travel. They believed they could stretch the money by traveling cheaply, staying in hostels or Airbnbs and getting by with the occasional odd jobs. At first, they stayed in nicer places and ate out a lot thinking they had plenty of cushion but within two months, they were out of money. They underestimated how quickly expenses would pile up, especially with two young kids, a 7-year-old girl and 5-year-old boy to feed and care for.

Now that their funds are drained, they've decided to stop full-time travel but don't want to settle down yet. Instead, they asked to live with me rent free for the next 10 months while they figure things out. They say they'll still try to take the occasional trips if they find super cheap deals, but for the most part, they want to stay at my house. I told them no, my house isn't big enough, I don't want the disruption. And I certainly don't think it's fair for them to live off me because their plan failed. I offered to help them find an affordable rental or even cover part of their expenses for a couple of months so they could get back on their feet, but that wasn't enough.

My sister blew up at me, calling me selfish and accusing me of being jealous of their adventurous lifestyle. To make it worse, my parents are siding with her, saying that family should help family and that I'm being too rigid. The thing is, my parents live in a small apartment and they can't take in my sister's family, which is probably why they're pushing it on me. They say I don't understand the value of experiences and that I should be more supportive. Some of our mutual friends are also saying that I should be more understanding. But I think it's completely unreasonable to expect me to house their whole family for

nearly a year just because they didn't plan properly. Am I the butthole? OP, if you let these people into your home, then they're not staying for 10 months. They're staying for 10 years. I think I'm just too responsible of a person because the idea of selling your house to go on a vacation, it gives me actual physical stress, you guys. I mean, I will admit, sometimes I fantasize about, you know, selling everything and living on a sailboat, which is kind of crazy because I've never actually been on a sailboat before.

But I watch a lot of YouTube videos about sailboat life and it seems really interesting to me. But I'm not about to go do it. I'm not about to just sell everything and be like, wow, I sure hope this works out for me. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your dumb sister and her equally dumb husband get… Gosh, what's fair here.

I want to say 2.5 out of 5 buttholes because what they're asking is pretty typical butthole behavior, but the real crime here is how stupid they are. I'm giving them 4 out of 5 on the idiot scale. Am I the butthole for not telling my ex-wife that we lived in a rental apartment? Back in 2008 when I started university, I rented a 2 bedroom apartment with my ex-girlfriend at the time and my friend and his girlfriend. We got a great deal for it. Years went by and after university, my friend and his girlfriend decided to find a place of their own as we had full-time jobs.

And renting this apartment didn't seem that expensive anymore and also it didn't seem expensive to rent alone after we broke up some time later. So there I was, alone in a two-bedroom apartment in the central part of the city. The owner decided that she was too lazy to mess with bills and stuff every month and made arrangements for me to pay directly. I still pay her the monthly rent, which is very cheap by today's standards, and I deal with everything else having her authorization. In 2020, I met a girl who was in a rush to get married, and since I was madly in love, we did get married in 2021.

For some reason, I never told her the story of how I rented the place or that it was a rental at all. It just never came up. I just referred to it as my place. Our relationship started to cool down and we found out that we weren't perfect for each other after all. So divorce it is. A few days ago, I received an email from my ex-wife with a real estate valuation document

as an attachment. Apparently, while I wasn't at home, she wasted 500 euros for someone to evaluate my apartment that doesn't belong to me. And she wrote that I probably have to take out a loan to pay her for 50% of that. I replied to her, wait, didn't I ever tell you that this place is a rental? Why would you even assume that I can afford a two-bedroom apartment in the city center? She knows where I work and how much I earn. She called and screamed at me that I had lied to her for years and hid the fact that the apartment was a rental.

Then she tells me, well, I'll take the car since we got that together. Then I was quiet for a moment and told her, you do know that's a lease, right? The owner of that car is the bank. Then she demanded that I pay for the apartment valuation and I replied, I didn't ask you to do that. She... sorry, this woman's so dumb. She called me a butthole and ended the call. Of course, she told our whole friend group that I lied to her during the whole marriage.

And there was a discussion in a messenger group with friends as to whether or not that was a lie and whether or not that was a butthole thing to do. Some agree with me and some with her. I'm sorry, I feel like this isn't a funny story but I can't help but laugh anyways. This woman tried- This woman tried to divorce you and take half your stuff and OP's just like, but wait, I don't have any stuff. She's just a gold digger who invested all this time in a mine that doesn't have any gold in it. Oh well.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I guess I'll give the ex-wife 1 out of 5 buttholes, but honestly she's more stupid than evil. Am I the butthole for refusing to cancel child support? I'm a 34 year old guy and I've been taking care of my sister's 32 year old daughter for around 6 years. This all started when my sister got arrested for felony theft and drug charges. She's a long time addict, a poor mouther and family manipulator.

No one else in my family stepped up, so I offered to take my niece in while my sister did drug treatment to avoid jail. From the beginning, my niece, who was 10 at the time, didn't want anything to do with her mom. I thought that was odd, but over the first few months that I had her, my niece opened up about her mom having treated her very poorly. I sought guardianship from my niece and told my sister that I would not willingly send my niece back to her unless my sister got off the drugs and sorted her life out. My sister initiated a legal fight with me to terminate the guardianship.

I grew to love this kid like my own and I didn't want to send her back to a bad environment. This cost me SIX figures over the course of a year and a half in legal fees, but I won. I managed to marshal substantial evidence of my sister's ongoing substance abuse, and the court relied upon the report of a court-appointed guardian who reported favorably about my niece and my care and about my niece's negative views of her mother. At some point in the legal process, as I was shelling out five figure monthly legal bills, I learned that as my niece's guardian, I was entitled to child support. So I filled out the forms to seek it and I won it.

The state oversees the support award and it's apparently pretty thorough in seeking it. They garnish paychecks and bank accounts. Now years later, I'm starting to get pressure from other family members to forgive the child support. I have family reaching out to me saying that my sister is doing better and she just can't get ahead because she has to give up portions of her paycheck every month for child support. With all the back amount that she owes, it's like $30,000 that I'm owed. I don't need it really if I'm being honest.

I make a good living, better than anyone else in my family has done. In all likelihood, my sister's debt will never be paid in full. But I don't want to let it go. I've started telling relatives, hey, that's great that you want to help my sister, so why don't YOU pay me her 30k debt? Plus the present value of the award until the niece is 18. Then I'll forgive my sister's obligation. My relatives have been huffy with that response. My sister initiated a fight with me

knowing full well that she was back on drugs and lied about it and she got caught in open courts. It was all a waste of a large amount of money in my prime years that I would have otherwise saved and set aside to retire on or pay for my niece's education. I'm still mad about it and my sister can owe me forever for all I care. Am I the butthole? Yeah, this is one of those stories where if you want to have an opinion, you have to pay up because OP has earned the right to have an opinion by fighting in court, by winning

in court, by showing up for the niece and by paying for the nieces daily needs. If OP's relatives want to have an opinion then they can open up their Zell app and send OP some money. Otherwise, shut the hell up. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, you sound like a hero. I'm giving your sister 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the rest of your relatives 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for demanding that my niece or her parents pay me back for the hundreds of dollars of perfume that she stole from me? I have a perfume collection that I started when I was a teenager slinging burritos as my first job. I have over 400 bottles

at this point. I take great pride in my collection and I use it. I am also happy to give people decants, which are samples of most of my bottles. I let them sample as spray or two, give them bottles as gifts, etc. What I have a huge effing issue with is my 17 year old niece coming into my home under the guise of walking my dog, decanting bottles on her own and selling the samples to her little friends. She thinks that because I have so many bottles I wouldn't notice some missing or getting massive dents in them.

Well little miss entrepreneur failed to realize that her private Instagram wasn't friends only or whatever and I saw each and every effing story with each price and sample that she had. I tallied that up and got a pretty good estimate based on cost per ounce. Thankfully, she mostly picked the TikTok famous perfumes like Bianco Latte or Escape Cormonde and didn't go for the rare niche perfumes. She did snatch an entire 2.5oz bottle of Baccarat Rouge though which runs 300 bucks at most retailers, as well as full bottles of perfumes that you can get at Sephora like Marc Jacobs Daisy, Burberry Her Elixir, Flower Bomb, etc. Petty or not, I printed out the entire list of what she'd taken, price estimate, and handed it off to my sister, her mom.

I said that I expect to be paid back in full. And of course, her effing sneaky little butt is never allowed in my home again. My sister got super pissy with me going on about how my niece is just a kid, kids make mistakes, etc. I said, yeah, kids make mistakes. And this is a great way for my niece to learn from hers. Their argument is that now the money she was going to use for a car has to go towards paying me back. But I don't care. She's lucky that I have no interest involving the cops, small claims or any of that. But am I the butthole because she is a teenager? OP, your niece is definitely a butthole.

Probably the nicest smelling butthole that we've ever encountered on this subreddit, but a butthole nonetheless because theft is theft. You know, what's really telling about this story is if she stole a bottle of perfume from you and then sold that to her friends, she could have used that profit to buy her own bottles of perfume and start a legitimate like reselling business. Because yeah, your typical 17 year old schoolgirl can't afford a $500 bottle of perfume, but she could afford a $5 spritz, right?

So this is actually a decent side hustle. The problem is that she kept stealing from you. OP, I'm giving your niece 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for sleeping with my friends hall pass? I'm a 49 year old woman and I've been friends with Sarah who's 49 for about 15 years. She's happily married with two kids. I am amicably divorced with one kid. We met at our children's preschool. We've been there for each other through some tough times. Sarah has a huge crush on, let's call him Jake for as long as

I've known her. Jake is a popular but not like stadium filling musician. From what I can tell, he makes a living. He's had popular albums and he's toured with A-listers. But he's not necessarily a household name. He's in his late 40s. Sarah's never met him. She's been to several of his concerts and owns a bunch of merchandise and considers Jake her hall pass. Again, she's married and she would never actually cheat on her husband. However, her crush on Jake never seemed off the rails to me.

Like she would joke about him wooing her through Instagram, but she didn't like stalk him. So let me say here that I would never, even when I was younger, date or even flirt with a guy that a friend of mine liked or was interested in. It just wouldn't be cool. However, a few weeks ago, I randomly met Jake at a charity event. He was hired as entertainment. We got to talking and one thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him. It was a one-time thing, fun and we both knew that it was casual. At first, I thought that it was a funny, wild story to share with Sarah. After all, it's not like she would ever actually be with him, right? But when I told her, she looked really hurt.

She wasn't mad exactly, but she said something like, wow, I can't believe you actually did that. And she's been distant ever since. I didn't think the friends before men rule applied here because he was basically her movie star crush, not a real romantic prospect for her. But now I'm second guessing everything. I feel awful for upsetting her, but I genuinely didn't think that it was that big of a deal. Now I'm wondering, am I the butthole?

Also OP made a brief update where she got together with Sarah, they talked it out and they're doing okay. Also OP showed this post to her friend and they shared some laughs. And even some people down in the comments guessed who the celebrity was. So this feels like a zero butthole situation to me. OP, I think you're completely justified in hooking up with Jake. Though also, I think it's fairly reasonable for your friend to feel jealous about this news. I think most people would be jealous. That was r slash amythebutthole and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast

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