rSlash - r/AITA My Entire Family Calls Me Slurs

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 No gifts for you 3:22 Correcting 6:28 Buying a car 10:03 Sharing a birthday 12:33 Comment 14:52 Swearing Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where Opie's entire family secretly hates him because he's gay. Am I the butthole for taking away my family's gifts because of something that I overheard? I'm a 31-year-old man, and me and my long-term boyfriend, who's 30, bought a house together last June. I have a big family, with eight cousins and around 20 nieces and nephews, and I'm the oldest of my generation. I also have a pretty high-paying job, and so does my boyfriend. My boyfriend hasn't had any contact with his family for over a decade, and he's been coming to my family celebrations since before we were dating. Within my family, I'm known to be a bit of a splurger with gifts, and the kids are always excited for my gifts,

because they're usually big things like Lego sets and things of the sort. So, yesterday, my family held a pre-Christmas celebration since we won't be able to meet up any time this year after this week. It was held at me and my boyfriend's new house, the first family event that we've ever had here. My boyfriend really wanted to take part in the gift giving, so we went all out with gifts, spending an average of $100 per person. He was so excited to give everyone their presence because we spent a lot of money and time picking

everything for everyone. The festivities were a hit, and my boyfriend and I stepped away for a bit to have some quiet time together. While we were resting on the stairs, we overheard my 17 year old female cousin chatting with my niece, who's 15. They were joking around about a few family members and mentioned my boyfriend and how he was too gay to function. Honestly, we didn't mind it too much.

It's a movie reference and their kids. But then my other cousin came in, a 24-year-old guy, and began making harsher jokes, which the kids laughed at. These jokes brought my boyfriend to tears, and I refused to let that slide. When the gift trading began, I took the three of them aside and let them know that I wasn't happy with their comments and what they said wasn't okay to say. I told them to apologize to my boyfriend because it was unfair to him and they refused because they were just jokes that we weren't meant to hear.

I told them I didn't care and they had to apologize. They again refused and I told them that since they don't respect him, they don't deserve the presence that we got for them. This got them to backtrack and say they'd apologize, but I told them it was too late, but they should still apologize. This is where I think that I might have been too harsh.

My youngest cousin told her mom, my aunt, that I was refusing to get the three of them their gifts, and she got angry about it. My aunt told the other adults, and then everyone got mad at me and made a huge fuss. Me and my sister kicked them out of my house, and when they tried to grab their presents before leaving, I stopped them and rushed them out the door. The whole thing fell apart after that, and it all ended very abruptly. So am I the butthole for kicking them out and taking way their gifts over jokes? Yo, okay.

Your family members come to your house, eat your food, and then think it's okay to insult you and your partner under your own roof? Nah. Not only that, but like I'm trying to imagine if my daughter was a teenager and she was making derogatory jokes about a family member in that family member's own house, then I wouldn't let a receiver Christmas gifts. O.P., you get zero out of five buttles. I'm giving the three cousins and the parents who defended them two out of five buttles. Super disrespectful. Am I the buttle for not putting a stop to my step-daughter correcting

the food that the host made? I'm a 32-year-old woman. For a year, I've been dating a widow with a daughter, Nora, who's 12. We moved to a new city because of my boyfriend's job promotion, I freelance, and we're in the middle of settling down. Nora and I get along very well. Nora plays tennis. Since the move, she's joined the school team and competed a bit. The father of her teammates often organized some kind of get together, and her father and I have tried our best

to have written most of them. I would say that Nora got along well with all her teammates, and I thought the parents were friendly. Last week, the parent of the team's captain hosted a potluck party at their place. Nora and I brought over some brownies. There really was a lot of all kinds of food. Nara and I brought over some brownies. There really was a lot of all kinds of food.

There was a ton of different kinds of food. The team captain's father did most of the greeting, telling us that his wife was preparing something special for us all. Once everyone was at the party, the wife came out of the kitchen with a special dish, a recipe of a specific country. Now, Nara looks white, but her late mother actually came from that very country.

The wife host began to serve everyone and share her recipe and ingredients and how it was not that difficult to make once you substitute the local ingredients and to feel free to ask me for tips. At this point, Nara spoke up, saying that the authentic recipes included such and such, and how their particular scent and taste added to the whole experience of eating the dish. She also said that if so many substitutes were used, they may as well call the dish a different name. The wife host looked a little unsettled and told Nara that she and her husband traveled

a lot in their youth. That she had the dish many times, so she knew what it was supposed to taste like, and the substituted ingredients works just fine. Nora said that her mom was from the dishes country of origin, and she understood that some of the ingredients were hard to come by, but substituting so much turned the dish into something else altogether. During all this, I mostly kept silent. Nora wasn't being rude, just matter of fact, and as this was a matter of her heritage,

I thought that she could speak up. The host wife spuddered a bit before saying everyone should just go ahead and enjoy her dish, no matter the name. Everyone tried it, but nobody asked for seconds. Firstly, I thought that it was a little bland, and there was a lot of leftovers. Nora's team captain later called her, thanking Nora for putting her annoying stepmom in her place. When my boyfriend came back from his business trip and learned of this, however, he thought that I should have reprimanded Nora for being rude to the host. He also had a talk with Nora, and she seemed to be soaking a bit, though she wasn't grounded

or anything. Am I the butthole? So in some sense, I kinda understand where the daughter is coming from, because it seems like she's proud of her heritage, and you know, she's being a little defensive of it. But just because I understand where she's coming from doesn't mean that what she did was okay. She was rude, disrespectful. This family brought Nara into their own home, cooked her a meal, and she insults the meal. It's just super disrespectful. So yeah, OP, you should have disciplined her. I'm giving you a Nara one out of five buttholes, I'm giving everyone else 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for not buying my son a car like I did for the rest of his siblings? I'm a 49 year old man and I have 4 kids, 2 twin boys who are 27, 1 girl who's 25 and another son who's 21. This post is about my youngest son, Jack. Since they were kids, I promised my kids two things. One, I'll fully pay for all their college expenses, housing, tuition, food, etc. And two, once they graduate college, I'll buy them a car. I kept that promise for all of my kids, except for Jack. And now I want to know if I'm a butthole for that.

I did pay for Jack's college expenses, but I'm refusing to buy him a car, and here are the reasons why. 1. I co-sign my name on the lease for Jack's room that he rents with a friend. I sent Jack his portion of the rent every month. The friend started taking advantage of my name being on the lease and stopped paying for his rent, knowing that I would cover the amount because I don't want miss payments on my credit score.

I asked Jack multiple times to ask his roommate to pay his portion, but the boy didn't care to even respond to me, and I ended up paying for 6 months of his friend's rent too until I finally solved the problem by getting my name off the lease. 2. Jack has a very rude and entitled attitude. He speaks to us like we're his low performing employees. The only time he contacts us is when he wants money and goes no contact otherwise. And we don't know what we ever did for him to treat us this way.

3. Last year, when my wife had to be hospitalized, all of my kids flew back home to be there for their mother. Jack didn't want to, but one of his siblings bought him a plane ticket and talked him into flying out. Instead of being glad to be beside his very sick mother at the hospital, he spent the entire visit making everyone run errands for him. For example, his sister has to cook a very specific type of meal for him, or we had to

drive him to the gym at a very specific type of meal for him, or we had to drive him to the gym at a very specific time. And he acted like it was one huge inconvenience for him to have to fly out. I even talked to my other kids about whether we were bad parents that caused Jack to act this way, but all of my other kids don't know why Jack ended up so entitled and spoiled. The rest of my kids are extremely different from Jack. We all get along with each other, and we care about one another. For the rest of my kids, I spent maybe $100,000 on each kid's total college expenses. With Jack's careless spending habits and unwillingness to save us money, Jack's college years ended up costing me $180,000.

So I refused to buy him the promised car. Jack's upset and he's gone to his grandparents complaining about me. My mother-in-law already hates me and now she's calling me a butthole saying that I'm playing favorites because I bought everyone a car but not Jack. Opie, honestly, it sounds like you went above

and beyond for your kids. Not every parent has the financial flexibility to pay for their kids' college and a car. Also, it's a little bit ambiguous when OPs says I spent maybe a hundred K on each kid's total college expenses. So I don't know if he means 100 total or 100 K per kid, I'm guessing 100 total. So that would mean he spent about $33,000 So, that would mean he spent about $33,000 per kid, but then he spends 180k on Jack. That's times what? Time 6? That is 6 times more money than he spent on his other kids, which is just nuts!

That's insane! OP, your son sounds like a real prick. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Jack 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not wanting to share my birthday with my dead twin anymore? I'm a 16 year old girl, soon to be 17 in 3 days. I was a twin. My brother died hours after birth.

He was 5 minutes older than me. I was told that my mother went into a deep depression, but with help got better over time. I've watched videos of my birthdays from 1 to six years old, and me sharing my birthday with my brother started on my first birthday. There's always five minutes of remembrance and honor of him, and instead of having one candle on my cake, there'll be an extra one or extra's for him. For example, if I was one, there would be one candle for me and one for him, or if I was two, there'd be two for me and another two for him, and so on.

As a kid, I didn't really understand or minded because I got to blow out the extra candles. When I was eight, I did question it, and they told me that it was in remembrance for my brother since we share the same birthday. This continued until my 16th birthday, which I didn't get to celebrate because I was in the hospital at the time. My grandpa showed up at the hospital while I was recovering with a gift and wished me and only me a happy birthday. After he left, I realized that I loved that he only acknowledged me. I realized that I didn't want to keep sharing my birthday with my brother, but then I felt guilty.

I did try to speak to my parents about just celebrating my birthday this year, but I was brushed off. Now we come to what happened four days ago, and my grandpa, who's the official cake maker in my family, asked me what kind of cake I want. I told him and said firmly that I only want 17 candles, please. My parents were in the next room, and immediately they came in demanding to know what was going on. That I should know that the other 17 candles were for my brother, and I ended up crying and told them that he's not even here, and I am.

I can't remember everything that was said, but there was a lot of shouting with me and my parents and grandpa, and me getting told that I'm selfish and I need to stop being self-centered. Grandpa left with me. I've been at his house since the big fights. I've been crying a lot and grandpa has been here for me, but I feel so guilty and I need to ask, am I the butthole? No, OP, you are not the butthole. Turning a teenage girl's birthday into a memorial service is disgusting behavior.

I'm going to read this comment from the jacquery boron because he's a twin so I feel like his opinion is super relevant here. Not the butthole. Your parents needing to grieve is understandable, but they're going about it the wrong way. Your feelings are completely valid and I agree with everything you write. Your birthday cake should be for you. Our situation isn't particularly similar but I'm a twin and we always got separate cakes. I wouldn't have wanted to share a cake with my twin on our birthday and we were actually

in the same room. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm also giving your grandpa zero out of five buttholes because he seems like a real bro. I'm giving your parents 2.5 out of five buttholes because he seems like a real bro. I'm giving your parents 2.5 out of five buttholes. While I can sympathize with them that losing a child is devastating, still. They still have another living child who needs to respect and love. Am I the butthole for swearing at my doctor while giving birth? I'm a 28 year old woman and I gave birth to my baby two weeks ago. I was in labor for close to 30 hours and was incredibly exhausted.

My doctor was great the whole way through and I never had any issues with him. Towards the end, the pain was unbearable. I couldn't have an epidural due to a heart condition and I felt like I was on the verge of passing out from the pain. During an awful contraction, I said, Jesus fucking Christ! My doctor looked at me and said, please don't use the Lord's name in vain. I quickly responded with, go fuck yourself! My doctor didn't say much for the remainder of the birth. Afterwards, my husband told me that maybe I should apologize.

I didn't, but now thinking back on it, maybe I should have. I feel pretty guilty, and I'm considering sending an apology note to the hospital. Am I the butthole for what I said? Nah, Opie, if you go through the most painful thing that a human being can be expected to endure, I think you're allowed a few curse words. Also, I personally find it hilarious that this doctor is preaching to you about religion while he's staring at another woman's vagina. I mean, yeah, I get that it's his job to look at lady parts all day. It's just, I can't help but find it ironic. Oh, oh, oh, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, which is one

fewer butthole than what the doctor was staring at when he was preaching to you. That was our slash amide the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out the doctor was staring at when he was preaching to you.