rSlash - r/AITA My Ex DEMANDED I Buy Her a House

Episode Date: March 23, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:09 Family matters 4:17 Cut off 9:59 Tuition 12:14 Exposed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. This episode is brought to you by Tresame. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresame Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where an ex-wife expects OP to sell their house to buy a new house for the ex-wife. Am I the butthole because I don't want to take care of my husband's ex-wife? I'm a 32 year old woman and I've been married to a 40 year old man for two years.

He brought two kids into the marriage and I have one kid of my own. We don't have any kids together. My husband was previously married and he's been divorced for about a decade. His kids live with their mother nearby about 20 minutes away. Initially, she showed some petty behavior towards me, but nothing major. She's very entitled and judgmental.

She often makes snide remarks about me working too much. She would also compare our marriage to her marriage with my husband, to the point that one day I told marriage to her marriage with my husband. To the point that one day I told her that her relationship with my husband was over and she needed to move on. My husband backed me up and she stopped doing that. Honestly, I don't think she's over him, but that has nothing to do with me. She's been unemployed since getting fired 15 years ago and relies on her kids to get more time and money from my husband.

She's been unwell lately, not managing her health effectively, and has been using her condition to collect sympathy points from my husband. She's been asking him to be there at doctor's appointments. Of course to watch the kids while she's there. She asks him for rides constantly because she doesn't feel safe driving. She always wants to tag along when we take the kids out. She has a boyfriend, by the way. Lately, she's been suggesting to my husband that she isn't well enough to take care of her kids. Right now, they have shared custody and they're with us every other weekend and during school

vacations. She told my husband that I should sell my house, which I bought before we met, to downgrade and buy a smaller home and then, you know what, and then build her a tiny house on the land close to us, so that we could provide more support for the kids and her. I was flabbergasted that he would even mention this to me. I couldn't understand why I needed to sell my house to accommodate her. I offered to have the kids live with us, but she declined,

stating that she prefers to stay close to the kids and doesn't trust us to accommodate her. I offered to have the kids live with us, but she declines, stating that she prefers to stay close to the kids and doesn't trust us to raise them. She has a boyfriend and a family nearby, but insists on receiving care only from us. She added that my husband made vows to her before he made vows to me. I feel totally disrespected. I don't want to sell my house, and I don't want to have a grown woman freeloading off of me. I believe she should rely on her existing support system. Some of my in-laws say that I'm just being selfish and I don't need such a big house anyways. You know, what am I reading?

My husband hasn't expressed anything either way, which is annoying. I want to stay in my ground, but I'm starting to feel like I'm a butthole because she's sick. Yo OP, this post, even just the title, was pretty bad. You and your husband supporting his ex-wife is crazy but as the story progressed it got worse and worse. She basically wants you to buy her house effectively. OP, you said, I think that she's not over my husband yet? Clearly! Obviously! This is plain as daylight! It is burning like a bright star in the sky, obvious to anyone with eyeballs! Well, luckily, OP posted an update. Basically, she confronted her husband, laid down the law, and then she continues with this. My husband called her and told her that he will

no longer be used as a placeholder for her boyfriend and she needs to stop trying to manipulate everyone. She said it was unfortunate that I was acting insecure and that I was interfering with their healthy co-parenting relationship. She said that I was young and immature and should consider their kids and she knew that this would happen one day. I told her that she needs to get up off of her butt and take care of herself and her kids and stop freeloading off of everyone. I told her that she needs to be focusing her attention on her current relationship because that's her best shot at a decent future,

because we're pulling back effective immediately. She immediately started crying, saying that she felt sick and she needs to go to the emergency room and needed to end the conversation to protect herself and her health. We couldn't really get into outlining all of our boundaries before she just hung up and blocked both of us. I typed out an email and copied all parties involved and sent it to her. I'm so mad right now that I'm seeing red. Am I the butthole for cutting off my mother-in-law because she told my daughter that she hoped I died when I was taken to the hospital. I'm a 30-year-old woman and I was in a car crash. I had to be cut out of the car. I wasn't seriously injured though, thankfully. But the other person, unfortunately, wasn't doing too well. I was told

to stay in the hospital overnight to see if I suffered from a concussion. I rang my husband and told him what happened. My mother-in-law got the incidents mixed up when he dropped off our daughters, who were 6 and 11, to my mother-in-law when he rushed to see me. The next morning, my husband brought our daughters to come get me while I was waiting to be discharged. Upon seeing me, my 6-year-old burst into tears and said, I don't want you to die. I comforted her and said that I'm not dying and I was very lucky. She then said that Granny said that she hoped I'd die so that them and my husband can come live with her. Jesus.

Me and my husband were shocked and my 12-year-old confirmed that she heard her say that too. My husband said that he was going to call my mother-in-law. When he came back to the room, he looked furious. He didn't say anything until after we got home. Then he said that his mother denied it, but after he got pushing, she ended up admitting it but said that she didn't mean it. I thought that me and her were close, but I guess not. I was incredibly hurt that she would want that. I told my husband that I wanted me and my girls to go no contact with my mother-in-law. I told my husband that he could have a relationship with her, but I don't want me or the girls to have one with her. My husband said that he supports me.

He then called my mother-in-law and told her what I said. She did not take it well. She came to our house crying, saying that it was a misunderstanding and that she didn't mean it and that we were taking it the wrong way. My husband asked her, then what did you mean? She just got hysterical and started crying, saying that she always wanted daughters but my husband was the only child due to her not being able to have any more after him, and that she felt like her granddaughters were more like actual daughters to her, and that

she wasn't thinking properly when she said that to our six-year-old. She got so worked up that my husband had to take her home. When he got back, he said that he didn't know that she felt like that, and he asked me if I really wanted to cut her off. I said yes. He said okay and didn't argue. But it's been a week now, and he's still very quiet and hasn't said much about what happened.

And now I'm starting to feel guilty and wondering if I did take it the wrong way. Oh, okay, first off, Opie, for this woman to even have the thought that she wishes that you would die so that she could get your kids is bad enough. To verbalize it out loud is even worse. To say that to a six-year-old child when their mother is in the hospital in an unknown condition is monstrous. It's barbaric. It is abusive. It's like emotional torture. You are not merely justified in cutting off your mother-in-law. You are ethically required to cut off your mother-in-law. She is a toxic woman who has no business being around your kids.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your mother-in-law 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. You know what, actually, now that I think about it? She admitted that she wanted lots of daughters. So isn't that basically saying that she never wanted a son? So maybe that's why your husband is quiet, because he's suddenly realizing that he's been a disappointment to his mom all these years, and also realizing that his mom is a terrible human being.

I feel bad for the guy, he's going through a lot. And he completely had OP's back, so he sounds like a great guy, honestly. Then OP posted an update. I decided to talk to my husband and asked if he was upset that I decided that me and the girls would go no contact with my mother-in-law. He said that he wasn't. He said he always knew that his mom wanted a daughter instead of him, and it brought back all the bad memories of rejection and hurt that he felt growing up as a kid by her. I suggested therapy and he's willing to go. We're also going to get therapy for our six-year-old because she now gets anxious if I'm not within our sights. Oh, that's really sad. My

husband agreed that going no contact with my mother-in-law is the best thing for our family. Our daughter's birthday is coming up and we have yet to tell my mother-in-law that she is no longer invited. I am NOT looking forward to that. Then two days after that OP posted another update. I didn't think that I would be posting here again. I thought my last post would be my last, but here we are. My mother-in-law has been arrested. My husband's cousin found my post and she knew that it was me, so she reported it straight to my mother-in-law. Yeah, we know that it was you who told her, Christina. Margaret told us all about it when she came over screaming that we can't keep her daughters from

her. She didn't even hesitate to drop your name and throw you under the bus. So much for loyalty, huh? You are not welcome in our home anymore and you are officially removed from Sam's birthday list and our lives. How about you show the whole family this post so they can see how two-faced you are? To the Reddit community, sorry about that. But my mother-in-law has been arrested. She came to our house screaming that we can't keep her daughters from her. My husband tried to calm her down and get her to leave. She wouldn't and she attacked him.

My husband had to restrain her and called the cops. She fought them but it got her nowhere except the back of their car. This woman is truly insane. My husband talked to the cops because I had to calm down my daughters because they witnessed the whole thing. My six-year-old was hysterical about Granny being taken away. This is all just a big mess. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for my stepdaughter's tuition

because she never liked me? I'm a 39-year-old woman and I married my husband, who's 54, six years ago. We've been together for eight years. He has two kids, a 20-year-old guy and a 19-year-old girl, Emma. I have a 9-year-old daughter. I was a widow when I met my husband. Emma had severe issues with her father getting married again, while her brother got along very well

with me and my daughter. He's the best older brother out there. Emma did not like me, and she treated my daughter very badly too, to the point that my daughter almost never left my arms when her sister was home. When Emma was 15, she permanently moved to live with her mother. My deceased husband left me a small fortune when he passed that I've never touched since I had a good job and never wanted anything more, so last year I helped pay for my stepson's tuition.

I'm planning to do that for my daughter too, and the rest of it I'll just give to my daughter. My stepdaughter is very angry now, calling me the butthole, but am I? I never really had a good relationship with her, she always hated me and I don't think she's becoming a good person. And honestly, I would rather leave more to my daughter than pay for her ungrateful self. My husband is sad because he thinks that I'm being unjust. I'm very sad about it, but I still don't feel that I'm the butthole. Then OP posted an update where she sent, I guess, Emma an email or text that says, Hi Emma, unfortunately, I have no means to pay for your education, nor do I understand

why you would expect me to. However, I can help with finding you student jobs on evenings and weekends. I know many students have done that, including myself. Wish you good luck." And Emma replies, Okay, okay, whatever, b****. OP, not only are you not obligated to give her money, but to give your daughter's dead father's money to her bully would be horrible, an awful thing to do as a mother.

So I'm giving you a rock solid 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Emma 3 out of 5 buttholes. Based on her reply, I'm starting to get a sense about what kind of person Emma is. Am I the butthole for laughing when my wife exposed our daughter? Me and my wife are both 66. We have a daughter who's 41. Our daughter is married and has two kids, Violet who's 15 and Ben who's 10. Our daughter and her family have been living with us for a while.

We have a big house, my wife and I live on the first floor, and the second floor is for our daughter and her family. Since Violet is 15, her parents are trying to make sure that she doesn't get into trouble or do hard drugs. So it was 5am and my wife and I were eating breakfast. Sorry. Who eats breakfast at 5 a.m. and my wife and I were eating breakfast. Sorry, who eats breakfast at 5 a.m. Jeez. Our daughter came downstairs holding Violet's phone. We recognized that it was her phone because of the purple cover. Violet and our son-in-law, who's 41, came after her. Apparently our daughter was checking Violet's phone for the first time. Violet is a calm teenager. She doesn't fight at

school, doesn't sneak out of the house, she's is a calm teenager. She doesn't fight at school, doesn't sneak out of the house, she's just a normal kid. But it looked like her phone wasn't like that at all. Our daughter found these videos on YouTube. In case you don't know what ASMR is, there are videos where people make quiet sounds that are meant to make you relaxed. Some people make these videos, but with a different type of sound. Our daughter tried to play one of them, and we heard a couple of seconds of it. It was inappropriate. I wanted to laugh, but I stayed silent. I'm not a dumb old man. I know what kids do. Our daughter was a teen, my wife was a teen, I was a teen. Violet didn't really

look the part, though. She looked like a library girl, which made it funnier. Our daughter started scolding Violet and said that she'd punish her. Our son-in-law was behind her, and he was trying to look mad, but instead he had this kind of giggling expression on his face. My wife looked uninterested. She wanted to eat breakfast in peace. My wife looked at our daughter and said, let's not pretend that you didn't do worse than that. If these videos were the only things you've done, I would have stayed at church and thank Jesus day and night. I started laughing.

Our son-in-law cracked a smile and laughed silently. Violet looked at her mom in surprise. I laughed like a scene out of a sitcom. My wife just continued eating her toast. Our daughter looked embarrassed but said this isn't about her. My daughter looked at me and said, Dad stop laughing! You ruined this scolding! Good job! I did indeed ruin the scolding, but my wife made me ruin it. There's no way that I could have not laughed at that. She makes me laugh even when she doesn't mean to. Am I the butthole?

Alright, I'm guessing this is one of those borderline inappropriate ASMRs that's like, your school bully punishes you for being a bad girl, or the football jock holds you and tells you that you're beautiful until you fall asleep ASMR, like those types of videos. And yeah, I can understand not wanting your 15-year-old daughter to listen to that kind of stuff, but is it really that big of a deal? And even then, why is the response to immediately go show the entire family about the fetish-adjacent content that your daughter found? That's super embarrassing for the teenager. OP, I'm on your side. What your granddaughter did wasn't that big of a deal in the first place, and it didn't really warrant scolding in my opinion.

So laughing at the scolding was perfectly reasonable. I'm giving everyone, I think, zero out of five buttholes, even your daughter, in this situation because even though she's wrong, she's not really, like, evil necessarily. She just doesn't really know what kids are doing nowadays, I guess. That was r slash amythebutthole, She just doesn't really know what kids are doing nowadays, I guess.