rSlash - r/AITA My Father-in-Law is a Child Ab**er

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Rethinking everything 3:15 Honesty 6:33 Detention 10:01 Bullying punishment 13:22 Wedding attendance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks and only make left turns where it's safe to do so. Be alert, be aware, and stay safe. Welcome to R-Slashe, Am I the Butthole, where OP finds out that his wife defends a child molester? Am I the Butthole for rethinking having a child with my wife because of what I just found out about her dad?

I'm a 30 year old man. Me and my wife, Jessica, who's 32, have been married for two years, and we're trying to have a baby. Jessica has an older sister, Mary, who she isn't close to. She told me they had a huge falling out over some family drama, and they just don't speak anymore. I asked me they had a huge falling out over some family drama and they just don't speak anymore. I asked a few times about the entire situation, but she

would just say that she doesn't like talking about it and she doesn't think that it's important. It was Jessica's brother's birthday yesterday and we were all over at his house to celebrate. Mary made an appearance and there was a lot of drama. Long story short, Mary called out Jessica and her brothers for still associating with their dad when they know that he's a child m-ster. No one was really paying any attention to Mary and I was really confused as to what the hell was going on. When Mary left and Jessica and I went home, I asked Jessica what the hell happened.

She said that when they were kids, Mary used to claim that their dad used to f**king her. I asked if that was true, and Jessica started stuttering. She said she knows her dad used to do bad things, but that Mary cut them off when she turned 18 and moved out. I asked her if she was admitting that she knows her dad is a child-m-f-ter and did those things to his own daughter. She- oh my god, she said- Oh, she said he doesn't do it anymore and he was just in a really bad place in his life and he apologized to Mary So there's nothing else anyone can do for Mary. I was honestly appalled. I also feel so terrible for Mary. Jessica made it seem like Mary did something wrong

and deserved to basically be exiled from the family. I could have never imagined that this is what happened. I asked her if she expects me to now be willing to have her father around our future kids and she started shouting at me saying, saying that I'm judging him off of something that happened two decades ago and whether I like it or not, he's gonna be our child's grandpa and he will be in their lives. I said if she insists on that, I think we need to hold off on having kids and have a serious

conversation about it. She's extremely angry at me, but I don't know how I could have reacted any better in that situation, to be honest. This feels like a huge deal that she's minimizing. Am I the butthole? Yeah, I know that my dad ****ed a kid, but that was two decades ago, and after like five years, we all have to just move on. No? What are you talking about? Grab your stuff, move out, and file for divorce. This is the easiest judgment call I have ever seen in a Reddit post. Clearly, her father groomed the entire family, and there's nothing stopping all of them

from grooming your kids in the future as well. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. But, if you decide to have kids with this woman, then I'm giving you 5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife, her father, and the rest of the family, except for Mary, obviously, 5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law that she should have kept her legs closed if she didn't want needy kids? My older brother has a lot of stepkids.

His wife, Tori, has two kids from her first marriage. Then a son, Liam, who's 15 from a random hookup, and another kid from a long-term relationship. My brother has a daughter as well. From what he tells me, Liam is the only one without an active dad and the only one that lives with him full-time because my biological niece primarily lives with her mom. I assumed Liam living with them full-time meant that he would get quite a bit of attention, but my knees told me that they all seemed to just forget about him. She told me that her stepmom once said that Liam is the extra and not as cute as the other kids. Apparently, it was a joke. Anyways, my brother's wife Tori invited

the whole family over for dinner. At one point, they told us to all gather around, and Tori told us that she's pregnant. Everyone started cheering, and I'll admit I cheered too. But my niece drew my attention to Liam, who started crying and walked off. My niece and I followed him, and when I asked him if everything was okay, he started crying into my arms. I felt so terrible. My niece then took him out for ice cream to cheer him up while I went back to the others. They were all very preoccupied, and my brother started talking to one of our nephews, not

tori's kids. This nephew then tells us that while he didn't make it onto a sports team, Liam did make it onto the team. My brother was quite surprised because he's a huge fan of the sport and he had no clue Liam was interested because he always thought that he was a quieter nerdy kid. The nephew sort of laughed and said, Liam isn't a quiet nerdy kid, actually the opposite. He's very popular at school. After finishing the conversation with the nephew, my brother approached me and said, maybe my nephew is confused. Liam's not that type of kid. I asked

him what kind of kid he thinks Liam is. My brother said that he doesn't talk to Liam much, but according to his wife, he's socially awkward, sensitive, and a little needy. Tori overheard this and was like, Liam, is he bothering you? Next time he tries to talk to you, run, or else he'll never leave you alone, he really is needy. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, especially after how much Liam cried earlier. I told Tori and my brother that they should be ashamed of themselves. I then specifically told Tori that she should have kept her legs closed if she didn't want needy children.

Obviously, my brother kicked me out, which I deserved. But Tori is furious and keeps sending me messages about how rude I am and I don't know anything about her. Even my mom yelled at me. I sincerely believe that they're all screwed in the head. Am I the butthole? Opie, I will agree that what you said is harsh, however, sometimes the best medicine is also the bitterest medicine. Clearly, your brother and his wife

Tori are uncaring, uninvolved parents who don't really care at all about their son Liam. I feel bad for the kid. It sounds like he's a good kid overall, he's just not getting the lovin' needs from his parents. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your brother and Tori 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for laughing at the reason my son was given detention and not agreeing to it? I'm a 36 year old woman, and I have an 11 year old son in sixth grade, Preston. Preston's teacher is named Susan. Some important background is that Preston is pretty skittish and jumpy. He easily gets startled by noises or voices that he doesn't expect, especially if they're loud. I've only seen Susan in person like twice, but she

has a distinctly loud, almost thunderous voice. I've never heard her yell yet though. But Preston says that it always makes him jump a little, and apparently she's known for being ridiculously loud in general from other kids and parents. Anyways, I work from home and I got a voicemail on my phone for Preston using a school phone saying that he got detention, because Susan yelled at some kids fooling around during work time, he was startled, and she noticed so she made him leave the room work in the hallway and call me to tell me that he has to serve detention next week. I didn't believe that was the reason he got to detention at all because that sounds like a really dumb reason and I assumed that he was

just minimizing what really happened. So I thought that I'd get Susan's side of the story at recess when I went to lunch. So I called her and I was completely caught off guard when what she said lined up with everything Preston said to a T. I wasn't sure what to say at first, but I ended up just laughing on the phone before any words could come out. Susan was irritated and asked what was so funny, and I just responded that I was so sure that Preston was lying to me because that was such a ridiculous reason to give anyone detention and that he is not gonna serve detention just for being startled.

She tells me that this is not a suggestion and that I'm being obtuse. I stood firm and asked her if she think that it would be appropriate if her boss yelled loudly at some fellow teachers. And then you were startled and then he proceeds to dock your pay or some other form of punishment. Following up with, I bet she didn't even punish the kid that she was initially yelling at

after noticing Preston. She got quiet for a moment, and I thought that maybe I convinced her, but then she doubled down and said that failing to serve detention would result in suspension or more. And I told her I would gladly fight her and the school on this had it came down to it before hanging up. I don't intend to punish Preston just for being startled. We all get startled sometimes and it's not something worth making an issue out of.

If I'm being honest, the only reason I chose to post this is because I wanted to vent to my friend about this. But later, she actually didn't side with me. My friend said that I was kind of being a dick to laugh at Susan, and that teachers don't get paid enough to deal with the things that I said. So I want to hear what unbiased people think. Okay, yes, it is true that teachers don't get paid enough, but just because a teacher doesn't get paid enough, that doesn't give them the right to just punish kids for no reason

at all. I think what probably happened here is that this teacher is aware that all the kids make fun of her for being too loud. Then when her loud voice inevitably startled Preston, she felt self-conscious about it, so she's punishing Preston to make her feel better about herself. Not only do I agree with you OP, I think you're being a good mom for standing up for Preston. You're right! He doesn't deserve to be punished. And if that's the case, then you should fight both Susan and the school on this issue. OP, I'm giving you in Preston 0 out of 5 buttles. I'm giving Susan 1 out of 5 buttles.

Am I the buttle for punishing my 16 year old stepdaughter after we found out that she was bullying a kid for being poor. I'm a 41 year old man and my wife is 38. Two months ago, we found out that my 16 year old stepdaughter was bullying a girl in school over being poor because she was getting free lunch at school and she wasn't able to afford necessity such as her own nice car and stuff. My daughter is kind of spoiled. We provided her with everything she needed along with an allowance and a part-time job at my company. It's a small family service business. We're considered middle class,

doing things other people aren't as privileged to do such as buying our daughter a car on our 16th birthday. I come from a family of immigrants and growing up, I was in poverty. After learning that my stepdaughter was bullying someone, I was furious as we thought that we didn't raise her to behave this way. She was in honors and she's in the top ranks of her class. I tried to talk to our daughter over why she would do that and I was disturbed to learn

that it was because she viewed that girl as trailer trash, which irritated me. From what I understand, the bullying victim is very smart and works hard. The girl purchased her own beta car by herself and works two jobs. My stepdaughter considers my money to be her money, so I put her in her place and told her that it was not her money. It's actually my money and her mom's money. We decided that we were spoiling my daughter too much, so we ended up taking away her latest iPhone and replacing it with my old iPhone 8 by switching phones with me with a

talk and a text plan. We took away her family credit card, solder car, along with her MacBook and other luxuries. I also told her that she would have to find a job without nepotism and work a minimum wage job like everyone else her age because I was done giving her handouts if she was gonna act entitled. Fast forward two months later, she's working at a fast food restaurant with us driving her around. She doesn't talk to me unless she needs something like a ride but she's very upset with me. My wife feels like I'm taking this too far because it's affecting her social status, her grades, and her school. I, however, feel like she needs to be humbled because I can't have a daughter who will disrespect people just because the amount of money they have. I also feel that her behaving this way will affect her younger sister, who's 12, and how she perceives the world.

So am I the butthole? Also, this post kind kinda blew up, so O.P. posted an update. We did talk to the family of the bullying victim, and we had my daughter apologize to the girl at school. The school required her to do 5 hours of community service at the school due to the school's no bullying policy. We also did enforce her to get a job. She wanted the job to get money so she could hang out with her friends and buy things she wanted.

We just cut her off from her $15 an hour receptionist job for a non-neptism job. We also warned her that if her grades became too unsustainable, she would be forced to quit her job and focus on school because she doesn't need extracurricular activities outside of school. She needs to focus on her education. Opie, you are definitely not the butthole here. doesn't need extracurricular activities outside of school, she needs to focus on her education. OP, you are definitely not the butthole here. Letting your kid bully another child is awful parenting, so I'm glad that you're taking

corrective action here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your daughter two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my kids that if they don't go to my wedding, I won't be attending theirs? My ex-husband was a good father, but a terrible husband. But hopefully I won't be attending there. My ex-husband was a good father, but a terrible husband. I divorced him when my oldest was 14 and my youngest was 10. Well he ended up spiraling and the kids were exposed to that.

They blamed me for ruining dad. He got better after a few years, but ended up doing it again when he learned that I was dating. So my kids kept trying to get me to not date since it would affect their dad. It was an awful time, since to the kids I was still responsible for what their dad did and reacted to things. In the end, I just kept my dating on the download, which wasn't hard since I wasn't introducing the kids to the min of my life anyways.

All I had to do was just not post on social media. Also yes, I sent my kids a therapy. My oldest kid is now 25 and my youngest is 21 and recently I got proposed to. I sat my kids down and told them and they were not happy and they were pissed that I was doing this to dad. After we talked about it, I thought that it was good. The wedding is in two weeks. I got a text from all of my kids saying they will not be at my wedding, that they need to support dad during this time. I had enough, and texted them that if they don't go to my wedding, it'll damage our relationship, and

I will not be attending their own weddings when they get married. They were pissed, and it started an argument, and they all think that I'm a huge jerk. I truly hate that I can't do anything that makes me happy since it'll affect my ex. O.P., it's kind of weird that your kids are so deeply, deeply invested in supporting their dad, but not at all in supporting their mom. I almost wonder if there's something that we're missing here.

Like maybe O.P OP is a terrible mother and she didn't share that in the story, or maybe the dad is constantly badmouthing the mom, so that brings the kids over to his side, or something, because I just don't understand why all three kids universally take the dad side, but don't at all take the mom side.

I just, doesn't quite add up to me. So, I think for the butthole score, I'm giving this a question mark question mark question mark out of five. I will say though that if there isn't some hidden meeting that I don't understand, then I guess I'll give the kids two out of five buttholes for being unfair towards the mom in favor of the dead. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast

because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.