rSlash - r/AITA My Father-in-Law Is Stealing From Me

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

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Am I the bad guy for asking my husband to file a police report against my deceased father-in-law? My husband is 30 and I'm a 27-year-old woman, and we're preparing to buy our first home. We both work full-time, making above minimum wage, but not enough that either of us can get a home with our single income. Yesterday, in a conversation with the bank, we were told that there are four collections accounts in my husband's name, all going back to 2018. Power, internet, and two credit cards. After a few hours, we were able to link each of these accounts to his father's previous

address. The bill was just shy of $6,000. After multiple conversations with the bank, we've realized that the only way to clear this debt from causing issues to my husband's credit rating is to file a police report for fraud. His father died suddenly last September, and my husband doesn't want to tarnish his father's name and is afraid that his family will look down on him for doing this. He's on the fence of how this will look if it gets out. I look at it differently.

We took a massive hit paying for the funeral. My father-in-law had no money and no life insurance. I know that it's his dad, but it will take us years to recover from this. None of the recovery agencies are willing to give us a bill paid in full, and even if we do pay, this debt will cause us to lose our down payment that we've busted our butts to raise over the past seven months. We aren't even close to having the buying power that we had last September because we only saved about half of the original down payment.

So am I the bad guy for asking my husband to file a police report? It's not an ideal situation. But how much more can I let his father's poor financial decisions in life impact our future, especially now that he's gone. Opie, let's be clear, your father-in-law didn't make poor financial decisions. He committed fraud, identity theft. This guy's a criminal, and he's dead, but he's a dead criminal.

So why's your husband worried about tarnishing his reputation? Your husband isn't going to tarnish his reputation, the father did. You know, by stealing and committing identity theft. OP, you get an easy 0 out of 5 bad guys here. I'm giving the father-in-law 3 out of 5 bad guys. Now, as it stands, I'm inclined to give the husband 0 out of 5 bad guys because I don't blame him necessarily for, like, grappling with this decision. However, if you make the wrong decision,

which is to not file a police report, then yes, he gets a bad guy score of 2.5 out of 5 bad guys. It would be extremely inconsiderate of him to put his and your life on hold just to honor the memory of a dead thief. Am I the bad guy for telling my sister that her haircut isn't some big achievement? My dad died unexpectedly

and relatively young. My youngest sister was three at the time. Her hair was a lot like his, super curly. Because of this, our mom did a lot to maintain it. Growing up, my mom would spend hours on my sister's hair, and each morning was dedicated to the two of them in the bathroom, with my sister screaming and crying because brushing through it was long and unpleasant. Up until she was 13, my mom insisted on washing and styling my sister's hair. She never let my sister cut it or die it. When someone suggested getting her hair trimmed, they were kicked out of the house. I won't lie, mom was controlling at times, but I thought we all knew it was because of

grief and the memory of our dad. Well our mom died, and the first thing my sister did was get her hair chopped incredibly short and died. She sent me in my siblings a picture of her new haircut with the caption, Sharon, our mom. Always said that I was going to grow my hair down to my butt, not anymore. I thought that it was my sister's way of grieving, but now she mentions it a lot, like asking how pissed do I think mom would be if she saw her hair

this short. I told her after the fifth comment to stop acting like her haircut was some big achievement because it's not millions of people get haircuts and she should know that her hair was important to mom because it reminded her of dad. She said that she wasn't supposed to be Sharon's doll or a replacement of their dad. She said that she should have been her own person and if I can't respect that then she doesn't need me in her life. Am I the bad guy? Okay so I know there's this whole

culture around really curly hair and I'm not in that culture. So I'm kind of just speaking from an outsider, but from my perspective, this doesn't feel like your mother caring for your daughter's hair for hours a day. It feels like abuse. Your mom spent hours and hours every single day physically torturing your sister to the point of screaming and crying like come on Opie you don't see this as abuse the abuse was so bad that your sister stopped seeing your mom as mom and now calls her Sharon she was dying to be free of the abuse and then Symbolically cut her own hair. Yo, this is almost exactly the plot of Tangled. Mother, what was her name?

Mother Gertel, Mother Gothel. She, like, controlled and abused Rapunzel because of her hair. And then when Rapunzel was finally free, she symbolically cut her hair because she was her own person. It was the single most major defining plot point in the entire movie. Oh, Pete, you are being a major jerk here. Instead of belittling your sister, you should be celebrating with her that she's finally free of her abuser.

I'm giving your sister 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 bad guys and your mom 3 out of 5 bad guys. If I had to guess, the hair was just the tip of the abuse iceberg. Am I the bad guy for refusing to sit next to this man? I'm a woman in my 30s and I was riding an almost empty train. There were maybe 5 or 6 people in the whole carriage. I sat in a 4-seater, 2 seats on one side and 2 across, and I spread out my stuff, put my jacket on the seat across from me and put my feet on it so the seat wouldn't get touched

by my socks. If it matters, it was early in the morning and from me and put my feet on it so the seat wouldn't get touched by my socks. If it matters, it was early in the morning and I'd been wearing these socks for less than an hour. A guy in, I guess his late 40s or maybe early 50s entered the train, came straight to me and said, move your bag. I was puzzled since there was plenty of free seats to go around, so I asked if he really wanted this particular seat, and he said yes. So, I picked up my bag, he plopped down next to me, and I proceeded to pack up my

laptop, drink, jacket, put on my shoes, and moved to a different forseater. I spread out again. Before I could even get my shoes off, this dude was standing in front of me and said, move your bag. I asked why. He said that he wanted to sit there. I answered that he had wanted that certain seat that I vacated for him. So I don't see why he would want to switch seats again. He scoffed and explained that this wasn't

about the specific seat, but about entitled people who think they're bags to serve a seat. I told him that I moved for him once and I wouldn't move again. He made a movement like he was going to grab my bag and I raised my voice and said, don't you effing dare. He started lamenting about entitled people again. I told him, I moved for you. There are hundreds of free seats on this train. Sit somewhere else. He called me a butthole and went back to his seat. Then he called someone on his phone

or acted like it, who knows, and proceeded to loudly complain about entitled bewords. To be clear, when a train fills up, I of course gather my stuff and vacate seats around me so other people can sit. But I don't see why I should let some rando boss me around and invade my personal space for no reason. So I will agree with the guy that people who think that their bags deserve a seat on a bus or a train are super selfish. However, if the bus or the train is empty, who cares? If the bus was super full, I'd be on his side, but it's not, so I'm on your side. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys.

The guy in this story gets 1 out of 5 bad guys. It sounds like he got on this train specifically looking for a fight. Also, I have to wonder if he would have tried this stunt if you were a man OP. The best adventures are the ones we share. So explore together with the 2023 Defender 130, featuring increased cargo capacity and room for eight adults. With unstoppable off-road capability, excellent on-road dynamics, 21st century connectivity and luxury interiors, you'll be capable of great things. The 2023 Defender 130, Adventure, Share Widenly.

Contact your Land Rover authorized dealer for details. And my the bad guy for telling my sister that there's a reason her kids chose to live with her dad. I'm a 32 year old woman and I have a 14 year old daughter, Jess. Her father, my husband, died in an accident when she was young, so it's been just the two of us for a long time. As a result, we're very close, and she's a lot more open to me than most kids are with their parents. Around a week ago, she asked me if I could take her to the movies on a date with a guy in her class.

I know the guy distantly because they'd done some extra curriculars together, and I was thrilled that he was my daughter's first boyfriend. I took them a few days ago, and they ended up hanging out at our house for a bit afterwards. He was extremely polite, and maybe it's just the mom inside me, but I couldn't be happier for her. I went to my older sister's house for coffee earlier this morning. For backstory, my sister has two teenagers, ages 16 and 17, who live almost full time with their dad. They had a very messy divorce around three years ago, and both kids chose to live with their dad. The reason

for this was because my sister was extremely overbearing on them. She was the kind of mom who believed that kids should have no privacy, and she should run their lives until they were adults. I know she had many arguments with them, because she would take away their doors, not let them hang out with friends, and go through their phones every night. This was their primary reason for her divorce, although she won't admit that. While I do love her, as someone who grew up with little privacy, I fully understand why her kids don't want to live with her. My daughter came up in conversation, and so I brought up her first date.

When I explained how it went, my sister laughed and told me that I must be joking. When she realized I was serious, she told me I was a terrible mother for letting my daughter walk all over me and not setting boundaries. She ranted for a bit, but basically said that 14-year-olds are incapable of going out themselves and that I was being lazy and neglectful by allowing her to do that. She also said, I would never allow my kids to do that, so I replied by saying, that's exactly why your kids live with your dad. She got very quiet and then told

me to leave. When I got home, I started thinking more about what I said, and while at the time, I thought that I was simply telling her what she needed to hear, now I'm wondering if I crossed the line. Nah, Opie, to put it simply, you're right. How much parenting advice can you really expect from someone who drove away the two kids who are supposed to love them? And yeah, your sister does sound like a nightmare to have as a mother. O.P., you get zero out of five bad guys. Your sister gets 2.5 out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for telling my sister that a comment she made is exactly why her marriage

crashed and burned? My sister and I have been staying with my husband and I for the last week or so. We're all in our late 20s. She and her husband have initiated the divorce process, and she said that she doesn't want to stay alone right now, which I completely understand. It would be hard to go from living with a partner to a completely silent house. I opened our home to her before I found out why her marriage didn't work. Now that the two of us have had multiple conversations about it, I'm a little uncomfortable. There was no infidelity, there was no big scandal. What she told me is that her husband wasn't

passionately hugging her enough. The thing she's been saying have floored me. She says that without passionate hugging, the two of them were basically just like roommates. She said that she's been saying have floored me. She says that without passionate hugging, the two of them were basically just like roommates. She said that she'd been pushing for him to get a hormone and balance test done because while they were passionately hugging, it still wasn't enough. She said that he had begun resisting even normal touches from her because from his perspective, all she thought about was passionate hugging, which apparently isn't true, but I'm not sure I can believe that. Overall, it just left me feeling sad for her ex, and the disrespect of saying that passionate hugging is the only thing that separates a partner

from a roommate. Not even a friend! I've done my best to be supportive, but I can't relate to her thought process at all. If my partner told me tomorrow that he wasn't up for passionate hugging for the next few weeks, months are longer, I would just take care of myself and respect that. I love him, and I want him to be the person I share life with forever. This all came to a head last night. My husband and I were having a typical lazy Saturday night, catching up on some shows and chatting while we lounge on the couch.

His legs were in my lap, and I was kind of absent mindedly massaging his feet and rubbing his ankles. This was an innocent gesture. My sister came in, saw me doing that, and made a joke along the lines of, oh, O.P. I didn't know that you were in defeat, or I did know that you had a foot fetish. I don't know, the exact wording escapes me. I couldn't help but feel put off at her sexualizing this gesture. Intimacy can be sexual, but it doesn't have to be. I told her so, and then said, referring to her divorce. Use sexualizing

every interaction is why you're in the situation you're in now. She called me a dick and left the room. I already know that it was a little harsh, but I'm unsure if it was tough love or too much. Am I the bad guy? Okay, the comments are a complete mix of not the bad guy, you're the bad guy, and everyone's a bad guy. Personally, I'm leaning towards everyone as the bad guy here. I'll read this reply from Important Salad. Everyone sucks

here. It's weird that your sister made a comment that sexualized her brother. That's just strange. However, why did you have to bring her failed marriage into this? She confided in you, you didn't agree, and you threw it in her face. There are so many ways that you could have expressed your concern about her reasons for her divorce without attacking her. Yeah, that kind of aligns with what I'm thinking, so I'm giving OP one out of five bad guys and the sister also one out of five bad guys. That was our slash of my D.A. and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

and myda, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.