rSlash - r/AITA My Former Bully BEGGED for Forgiveness

Episode Date: August 6, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Bully 4:21 Learned behaviors 7:31 Break up 8:55 Maybe the other side 10:38 Twins wedding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole, where O.P.'s bully begs for forgiveness many years later. Am I the butthole for not agreeing to be friends with a guy who bullied me in high school? I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I was severely bullied in high school. I was considered quite chubby, 130 pounds, 160 centimeters tall, and I had a bit of a stutter. The stutter was because of anxiety, and it would only happen when I was around people that would be mean or bully me. In my junior year, a boy in my grade joined in on the bullying, Jake. He was so much worse than everyone else. He used to follow me on my walk home and pour things on me.

Push me into bushes or into oncoming traffic, yo. He once pushed me into a lake when we were on a school trip when he found out that I couldn't swim. I could go on and on about the things he did to me, but we'd be here all day. After one particular incident where he made fun of me for my appearance, I really couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't the worst thing he did, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I tried to commit suicide with sleeping pills, but my uncle found me and took me to the hospital. I was in a coma for 11 days. I didn't go back to school after that and was homeschooled for my senior year. I never spoke to anyone from my school except for two girls, Kate and Sarah, who checked up on me at the

hospital. We're still friends. I moved away from that town after high school. I'm now back in that town for the first time in seven years now. My cousin is getting married, so I'm here for her wedding. I decided to come a week early to spend time with my parents. I went to a bar with Katea Sarah a couple of days ago, and I saw Jake. I didn't recognize him at first, but Sarah told me it was him. I felt kind of anxious, but decided to pretend like he wasn't there. He approached us as we were leaving and said hi to me. I said hi and engaged in small talk. Our Uber arrived, so we said bye to him and left. He sent me an email, I'm not sure how he got my email, and it was quite long.

He apologized for everything he did, and said he's mortified he was even that kind of person. He said it's been haunting him since he heard of my attempt, and he's deeply sorry. I replied to him, saying it's all right, and I forgave him a long time ago, because I didn't want to hold on to hate and resentment from high school. I ran into him again at the pharmacy, and he asked if we could talk. We went outside, and he asked if we could go for dinner as friends and catch up. I said sorry, but I would really rather not. He asked why I can't go for dinner if I've apparently forgiven him.

I said, forgiveness doesn't mean I have to engage or be friends with him, and I simply don't want to be friends. It'll be weird given our history, and I'd rather not be reminded of my high school years. He looked bummed out, but didn't insist, and left. He sent another email three hours ago, saying he can't bring himself to forgive himself if he doesn't feel like I have. And that me refusing to even have dinner with him makes him feel like I haven't forgiven him, and the guilt is eating him up.

I replied saying, I'm sorry, but I'm not having dinner with you, and you should take that up with a therapist. I've told you that I've forgiven you. I just don't want to have dinner with you, and I'm not going to force myself to do so to ease your conscience. I told my parents of this whole thing and they said that I'm being too harsh on him and that I should do what I can to make him forgive himself because no one deserves to live with guilt. They said one dinner is nothing and I should just suck it up and go.

I said no and kind of got angry at them. I really don't know whether I'm being irrational or not. Yo, your parents say you should suck it up and go? Why? For what reason? And for what purpose? Who gives a fuck about this guy's happiness? Why would the parents have sympathy for the dude who bullied their daughter?

Maybe because they also feel guilty because they allowed the bullying to go on. Man, people are such toolbags. The guy bullied you and then now it's your responsibility to make him feel better that he bullied you? He doesn't deserve forgiveness. He deserves to get his ass beat. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your bully and your parents. that allowed the bullying to happen, three out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law that she's the one who taught her son that he could cheat and think that he could get away with it? About three weeks ago, I found out that my husband's been cheating on me. The day that I found out, I packed bags for me and the kids and left. I didn't confront him about the cheating. I just let him know that our marriage was over, but that I hoped to work with him on an amicable divorce and custody arrangements.

Of course, he did all the same. cliche begging, crying, swearing he would change. It was a mistake and it meant nothing. Blah, blah, blah. I just said, that's nice. Well, let me know where to send the divorce papers. He was shocked. He told me before that his dad cheated on his mom, but she was able to forgive him. He must have expected me to do the same. Since then, I've only communicated with him about our daughters. He's running in circles trying to get me to react to anything else he says. I give him nothing. He's begged me to just talk to him. I said that there's nothing to talk about. My mother-in-law confronted me outside the gymnastics gym. I was going to hand the girls off to her so they could spend time with dad.

My mother-in-law told me that she was very disappointed in the way that I'm handling all of this, that she expected more maturity from me, and that she hopes it doesn't impact the girls negatively long-term. I let her say what she wanted. She's allowed her opinion. But she looked at me, waiting for her. response of some kind. So I asked her, why are you directing your anger at me when your son is the one who ended this marriage? She said that I'm the one who chose to end the marriage, not him, that he was willing to work on it and go above and beyond to prove that it was a mistake and all that nonsense. And it was the most shocking how cold I've become that I won't even talk to him. I said, well, what is there to say? He decided to end the marriage. The time to go to marriage counseling was

before he did what he did. There's nothing left to salvage. He made the decision, and now he lives with the consequences. She was getting herself all worked up and upset. Oh, boo-hoo, don't you feel bad for tearing apart this family? Don't you want your daughters to grow up in a stable home? How could you walk away after all this time? She said she couldn't imagine breaking up her family over something like this. I said, well, maybe if you had, your son wouldn't think that he can cheat without consequences. You're the one who taught him this. She got that big, shocked look on her face, told me that I was being a needlessly cruel monster over all this, and oh, boo effing who, she's disappointed. I'm not keeping the girls from him. I'm being helpful with those

arrangements, and I plan to be generous when it comes to splitting time. I have no interest in taking anything that wasn't mine when we entered into our marriage, but somehow I'm the cruel monster? How? Definitely not the butthole. Honestly, kind of funny. She really, she really walked herself into that insult. Seems like you don't really need my advice because you're on the right course, but I say ditch him and just move on with your life. Your husband and his mom are both terrible people. Am I the butthole for wanting to break up with my girlfriend after her ex's funeral? So my girlfriend and I have been together for about four years. She used to be close friends with her ex. However, he tried to make a move on her

while she and I were together, so she cut off their friendship. They knew each other for about 10 years. They were high school sweethearts, and they stayed together throughout college. They broke up because he didn't want kids. He died recently, and my girlfriend was invited to the funeral. While I wasn't happy, so to speak, to see my girlfriend cry about this guy, I swallowed my emotions and offered her my full support. She asked me to come with her. Here's where things get messy. She kept talking about how she wishes they never broke up in the first place, and that she's never met someone who she loved as much as him. She made a speech about how she says that if things had been different, they'd be a happy family with children.

I had to force myself not to say anything then. Now we're back home, and she hasn't said anything about what she said. I'm so close to just leaving, but I don't know if she only said that out of grief. Also, this is quite interesting. Down in the comments, someone linked another our slash am I the butthole post that people theorize the girlfriend wrote. So, you know, we can't confirm or deny this. Both the usernames are deleted, so it's just speculation, but let's read it, and we can form our own opinions. Am I the butthole for wanting to go to my ex's funeral? So my boyfriend and I are both 29, and we've been together for about four years now. I made a terrible mistake with my ex and slept with him about two years ago. Yes, while me and my boyfriend were together. I told

my boyfriend and I begged him to stay. After some hard work, we reconciled. One of the things he told me I needed to do if I wanted him to stay is to cut off my ex from my life, so I did. Me and my ex have amazing memories together. We traveled several countries together. We broke up because he didn't want children and I did. But we continued to be good friends, up until I cheated with him. Two days ago, I found out he died in a car accident, and his mom reached out to me to let me know. My boyfriend and I currently live together, and he noticed me crying my eyes out. He asked why, and I told him the truth. He said, oh, then he held me until I fell asleep. I was messaging my ex's mom, and she invited me to his funeral. When I told my boyfriend I was going to go, he got mad.

He told me his feelings are complicated. He says he's not going to stop me from going, but he just doesn't know how he's going to feel about this. He says he can't be supportive over this, and he said if I decided to go to my ex's funeral, he doesn't know if he would still want to stay with me. I want my boyfriend to be supportive when I'm in so much pain, but I know I can't blame him. The top comment on this, this man was holding you while you cried about the dude you cheated on him with. This is him being supportive. I don't know if this is the same boyfriend or girlfriend, but I'd say in both of these stories, the guy should dump the girl. Am I the butthole for not going to my own twins' wedding? I'm a 24-year-old guy, and I have an identical twin. We're

not close, but I thought that we had basic mutual respect. That belief was tested. I grew up in a traditional southern town and only began coming out in college about five years ago. It's been slow, especially with family. But since moving to D.C. in 2023 for school, and work, I felt more comfortable living authentically. After moving, I met my boyfriend, who's 26, and we've been together for two years. Over time, I've introduced him to friends and family when I felt safe. Cut to November 24. I was home for the holidays and told my twin and his fiancé about my boyfriend. They seemed happy for me. While staying with them, wedding details arose, and they asked if I'd be bringing a date. I said, yeah, my boyfriend. My twin had gone to bed,

but his fiance said, while there are pros and cons, it's up to you if you want to bring him. That felt like a green light. My twin constantly deferred to her on decisions, so I didn't think I needed to double check. Five months passed, and my boyfriend and I had spent $1,300 on travel, flights, hotel, etc. Three weeks before the wedding, I mentioned on a call with my brother that we were all set, and his tone shifted. Oh, is your boyfriend actually coming? I reminded him of the conversation with his fiancé. He said that she never gave me permission and accused me of making it up,

then said, We can't allow your boyfriend to come. We worry how Dad's side will react. I offered to call Dad on the spot. He dodged saying he'd check with his fiancé, despite just saying it was his decision. An hour later, no change. I was still invited, alone.

Still expected to buy a groomsman matching suit, even though I wasn't in the party, and to show up smiling. That's when I snapped. I asked, if I didn't invite your fiancé to my wedding, would you still come? He couldn't answer and ended the call after some harsh words. Trying to make things right, I came out to my dad, which I had feared for years to explain the situation. He was surprisingly indifferent, and even said that uninviting my boyfriend was extreme. He offered to talk to the extended family. I thought that I was removing the main obstacle. Weeks later, my twin called again.

He now claimed our friends would be weirded out, so the excuse shifted. I said, if my boyfriend's not invited, I'm not coming, and he didn't budge. Here's the kicker. Days later, my dad told me the fiancé admitted that she did give me permission, but changed her mind when she remembered who would be there. She denied this to my twin. Also, one of her bridesmaids is openly gay and brought her girlfriend, but according to the fiance, she's not part of the family, so it's different. So I didn't go. I'm still wondering if I made the wrong call. My absence was noticed. I got texts asking where I was. My mom had to explain it repeatedly. So instead of avoiding attention, my absence became the story.

My relationship with my twin is dead, and now some family ties feel fragile. Part of me wonder, should I have just sucked it up and gone solo just to preserve bonds that shaped my early life? No, you shouldn't have. If they're not going to respect you, why should you respect them? O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother two to two point five out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content,

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