rSlash - r/AITA My Girlfriend Demanded $25,000 from Me

Episode Date: December 21, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:08 Bonus 2:16 Plane boarding 5:55 House work 9:12 Cops 12:32 Burns Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's girlfriend expects OP to give her $25,000. Am I the butthole for refusing to share my bonus with my fiance's family? I'm a 30 year old guy and I work in tech and had a fantastic year at my job. I recently received a significant year in bonus. $50,000 and I was thrilled. I've been saving for years to buy a house and this bonus is going directly into my house fund. My fiance, who's 28, knows this and was initially very supportive. Then she dropped a bomb on me. She asked if I could spare $25,000 of my bonus to help her parents pay off their mortgage. Apparently, her parents have been struggling financially and she feels it's only fair

since we're going to be married and they're going to be my family too. I said no! I've worked extremely hard for this money and while I feel for her parents, I don't think it's my responsibility to bail them out. Especially when I've never even been asked directly by them. Her response? She called me selfish and accused me of not caring about her family.

She then brought up how her parents have sacrificed so much for her and it's the least that I could do. She's been cold to me ever since. She also told her parents about my bonus, without my permission, and now I'm getting guilt tripped by them. They haven't outright asked for money, but they've made several comments about how lucky I am to have extra cash and how some people don't get that kind of opportunity. When I mentioned that I plan to use the money to help secure our future with the house, my fiance said,

what future? You're already showing that you don't care about the people who matter to me. I don't think that I should have to justify how I use my bonus, but now even my own friends are split on whether I'm being reasonable or stingy. Alright, hold on. If the parents sacrifice so much for the fiance, then shouldn't SHE give them $25,000? OP, I'd be rethinking this engagement because once you marry this woman, then half of your bonuses are automatically hers. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your fiance and her family 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for boarding a plane without my sister and leaving her and her kids

behind? I'm a 21 year old woman and I'm currently going to college in the same town that my sister and her family live in. My sister's 27. We're about a 6 hour flight from my hometown where our parents and extended family live. We had planned on all flying back to our hometown for Thanksgiving a few days ago. For some background, my brother-in-law, Bill, is an alcoholic. Any kind of event where alcohol is provided or purchasable ends with him getting in fights and causing issues. He yells, throws things, and gets generally aggressive. My sister arrived at the airport before me, and when I arrived at the gate an hour and

a half before boarding, Bill was nowhere to be found, and my sister was struggling to keep track of three small kids and all their luggage. Bill didn't come to check on them once in the hour and a half. I only saw him when he came staggering over to the waiting area and it was time to board. As soon as my sister started talking to him, he got loud and aggressive. I watched from the boarding line, where in different groups, as it escalated to the point where security confronted him. My sister waved me over and I got out of line.

She told me that security weren't going to allow him to fly and that she needed help. I asked if I should take Bill's seat so that I could sit next to one of the kids and that way my sister wouldn't be left all alone with three kids on a long flight. My sister was confused and repeated that Bill couldn't fly with us. I asked if she was going to stay behind and sort this mess out and she said yes. I told her that in that case I probably couldn't help her. She has a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a 9 month old, and her kids would need her. My sister was still confused and then told me that she

expected me to stay behind and help her deal with her husband and kids. I told her no! Traveling around the holidays is insane. There likely wouldn't be enough open seats for us to get a later flight if Bill is even still going to be allowed to fly at all. I was excited to see our family, and her kids were not my responsibility. She got upset and told me that she didn't know what to do with her husband and that if he couldn't fly, or worse, she didn't know how she'd handle it. I told her that's not my problem. Bill isn't a child who needs supervision and it's not her job to deal with him throwing a tantrum and getting in trouble with security. I said that we could just board the plane and leave him to face the consequences of his own actions. She said that

he is her responsibility. I told her that if she knows how he is when he drinks and that if he was her responsibility, then she should have done something to prevent this and that this situation was all on her. She chose to marry an alcoholic, not me. I wouldn't be missing my family for Thanksgiving because her husband can't hold his liquor. I boarded the flight and she stayed behind. My family was happy that I made it, but many of them called me insensitive for what I said and my mom was particularly mad that I didn't stay and support my sister. Am I the butthole? You know, honestly, OP is giving the sister the support she needs, which is a hard reality

check. The sister is enabling the drunk husband and now everyone wants OP to just enable the enabler. No, then we're just stuck in a cycle of alcoholic abuse. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the alcoholic 3 out of 5 buttholes and I don't want to be too hard on the sister because she's kind of a victim here but yo she's also being really dumb. She needs to figure out what's going on here. So I gotta give the sister 1.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for threatening to divorce my wife if she doesn't become a proper homemaker the next month? My wife and I have been married for four years. I'm 33, she's 32. Her name is Steph. Steph is a stay at home wife, and since we got married, she's been incredibly inconsistent with household labor. I work a physically demanding job, and it would really help if Steph could at least

cook dinner more than once or twice a week. Instead, she sits at the dinner table hunched over her phone for hours a day. She's completely addicted to it, but she refuses to even have a conversation about this. Now, about twice a year, I have an refuses to even have a conversation about this. Now, about twice a year, I have an opportunity to visit a foreign country for work. The nature of the work is to supervise construction and instruct the workers there. The compensation for these trips is always fantastic. And Steph is appreciative when I go because I bring home a pretty fat paycheck after.

Three weeks ago, I was about to depart for two weeks on such a trip. At around 10am, I texted Steph and said that time was tight, but I'd be home at 1230 to pick up my luggage. I asked her if she would make me something for lunch and she agreed to do so. I emphasized that I had about 10 minutes to stuff my face and then get to the airport. At 11am, I texted her again, saying I'd be home as planned at 12.30. Again, she said okay. At 12, I texted her saying that I was leaving. I walked in the door at exactly 12.30 only to find her sitting at the dinner table hunched

over her phone. When I walked in, she gave me this bewildered look. She had done literally nothing. Nothing was cooking. Steph stood up in a panic and said that she would start making me lunch, but I told her it was pointless. She sheepishly apologized and I responded, don't say sorry, just be less effing useless. This made her very upset. I just picked up my luggage, left and went to the airport. I did manage to pick up some food at the airport, but I really would have liked a home cooked

meal before eating out every day for two weeks. I got home last week and Steph was still angry. She said that what I said to her was over the top. I asked what she had been doing for those two weeks and she insisted that she was super busy as in Instagram and Netflix. I gave her an ultimatum. You mean like the Netflix show? That she had one month to get her act together and be a proper homemaker. I told her that if she couldn't, I was going to divorce her. Steph was super

upset and for the past week she's been sulking, as in scrolling Instagram and Netflix. She told her family about it and her mother basically blamed me for Steph's lack of direction in life. I know it's nonsense that a 32-year-old woman needs to have her handheld to do anything, but was I being ridiculous with my ultimatum? Man, I hate to say this, but OP, it would probably be cheaper and more rewarding to just hire a housekeeper. The core problem here isn't that she's not domestic. This isn't really a gender issue. The problem is that she's not even close to contributing her half. Also, it kind of sounds like she has addiction issues. Anyways, OP,

I would get out now before you guys have kids and then you're doing everything you're doing now, but then also doing all the baby care. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Now but then ALSO doing all the baby care. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for canceling everyone's Christmas because my mom called the cops on my husband? Usually my husband and I host Christmas Eve at our house. He's 30 and I'm 27.

It's nothing big, just my divorced parents and my 3 teenage siblings. This year we have a newborn and set Thanksgiving out, but I felt comfortable doing Christmas. UNTIL my mom called the cops on my husband a few weeks back. One of my sisters, who's 19, called me crying asking me to go pick up our younger sister who's 17 because she had just gotten in a fight with my mom and my mom slapped her. Our newborn baby was sleeping and we wanted to get my 17-year-old sister ASAP, so I stayed behind while my husband went to get both my sisters.

My mom and my 17-year-old sister were at the laundromat. The altercation happened at home. When my husband walked up to their car and told my sister, let's go, my mom freaked out, caused a scene and started yanking on the car door, telling him to let my sister out or she's calling the cops. At this point, my husband had locked the door and kept telling my mom that he's not letting her out, that she needs space and he's bringing her back to our place. My mom walks away and I tell him to drive off.

She can send the cops to my house if she wants. I was on the phone with my husband at the time. Well, she calls the cops and it backfires. The cops side with us and agree the 17-year-old should have been removed from the situation and should stay with me for a few days. This enraged my mom. For some reason, she hates that my sisters and I are close. She's been telling them for years to keep secrets from me, to not tell me what happens in her house even though they still do. And she's called family meetings with my siblings just to say they need to stop running to me to vent. She says that

whatever happens in her house is none of my business. She treats me like I'm some random outsider and not her literal daughter and I'm tired of it. She tends to sweep everything under the rug. She'll never talk about an issue and will just continue life like she didn't hurt anyone's feelings. She also has a tendency to pull the, well, sorry I'm such a bad mom card. Or she deflects and gaslights a lot. After she called the cops on my husband with the intention of getting him in some sort of trouble, I'm not letting her just sweep this under the rug and show up for Christmas like we're one big happy family. If she can't come to us like an adult and apologize and have a mature conversation,

she is not welcome in my house. So Christmas Eve is cancelled. So anyways, am I the butthole for cancelling everyone's Christmas? What happened in this story is probably the best case scenario. The cops were chill, they agreed with OP, and they let the 17-year-old sister stay with OP. But you have to also imagine the worst case scenario, which is the cops show up in a bad mood or they're like, hey, yo, this 17-year-old girl is technically a minor.

This is kidnapping, so we gotta arrest this guy and throw him in jail. And then OP gets charged for kidnapping a minor? We're talking actual jail time here. So your mom could have literally ruined your life and your husband's life and she wants to be like, okay, well, where should I put my stocking? Yeah, right. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom 3.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for accidentally letting my sister-in-law get chemical burns on her face? Me and my husband are 26. We bought our first home 7 months ago. His younger sister, who's 16, just got her license. And she frequently shows up unannounced and has trouble taking no for an answer. Last Friday, she came over after dinner and asked to stay the night. We agreed since we had no plans. She asked to shower, so we let her use ours as our guest bathroom isn't stocked yet. I splurge on salon quality hair care products because my hair is unruly. And my $27 shampoo bottle was brand new.

Later I found half the shampoo and nearly all the conditioner gone along with my skincare scattered across the counter. She used almost $50 worth of hair product and all of my skin stuff including my prescription skincare stored in a pharmacy bag. I asked her to bring her own products next time, as I wasn't comfortable with how much she used. I was in no way rude, I just explained that I splurge on really expensive products and can't afford to have $50 of product gone every time she showers here. She called me selfish in a passive aggressive way and ended up leaving. By Tuesday, her skin was red,

peeling and breaking out terribly. At dinner with my in-laws, she blamed me for not warning her about my skin care. I explained that I hadn't expected her to dig through my drawers and use prescription products, which are expensive and took my skin weeks to adjust to. My father-in-law said that I should pay for a doctor visit, but my husband refused arguing that she's 16. She should know better and that it was inappropriate for her to look through my medicine bag to even find the prescription product that was likely the culprit for the irritation.

Am I at fault for not warning her? I wouldn't go through someone else's personal products, let alone use their stuff like it was my own. I would have been happy to share some skin products, but not my prescription cream. She also brought up that I got mad that she used so much shampoo and conditioner and basically made me look really bad in front of my in-laws. Admittedly, I was upset about the shampoo and conditioner and the fact that she left a huge mess on our counter, but I was very calm and just explained that money is tight

as we just bought our house, and I didn't want her to use months of products during one shower. Okay, taking someone else's prescription products can literally kill you. So I would say this is a valuable life lesson learned, kind of akin to touching a hot stove. Hopefully your sister-in-law has learned her lesson. OP, I would just say change your locks and disinvite her from your house until she can pay you back for the missing product. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister-in-law two out of five buttholes. That was r slash amyethhebutthole and if you

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