rSlash - r/AITA My Girlfriend Gave Me Brain Damage

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

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Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where OP is almost beaten to death by his girlfriend. Am I the butthole for breaking up with my fiance after she hit my face and caused serious medical damage? I'm a 27 year old man and my ex-fiance is an attractive 25 year old woman. We had a fairly decent relationship for 5 years and planned to marry in fall 2025. We have no kids. We both have professional jobs, shared an individual interest and our own group of friends. We probably would have had a nice life together. I've always known about her excessive and over the top fear of insects. Especially spiders and worms. And I've always

done my best to be sensitive to this. However, completely avoiding them is impossible. One evening at a friend's house, we were sitting on the back patio with the other couple talking, roasting marshmallows, having a few beers and having a nice night. The next thing I remember is waking up in the emergency room with her crying and explaining what had happened. She saw a non-venomous spider on my forehead that I wasn't even aware of and freaked out. She picked up a cheap metal container that held a citronella candle and proceeded to bash

my forehead. She thinks five times? Yo! Until she was sure the spider was gone. Yo, what? The result was eight staples, internal brain trauma, and second degree burns? Burns burns the candle was on second-degree burns all over my face it's been six months since this happened and the burn scars are still slightly visible yo this this this look listen okay this literally sounds like a murder from this sounds like a murder scene yo this sounds this sounds like a scene from a horror movie where someone's getting beaten to death with a metal candle that's both ripping apart flesh and bone while also burning them. Okay, that was shocking.

I was not expecting this. She hit you five times? Guys, think about that. Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!

She can't... Whoa. Yo, this is actually crazy. She didn't reconsider her actions after the first hit, after the second hit, after... It took five hits for her to be like, okay, maybe I should stop pounding my boyfriend's face in. Okay, sorry guys. This was... I'm shook. I'm shook. I could tell that she genuinely felt bad and after a couple of days of rest, I really felt bad for her too.

I didn't want to see her feeling guilty for her compulsion but at the same time, after thinking and talking to friends, I decided it was best to call the engagement off. I explained that I really didn't blame her and also that I didn't want her to blame herself for my injuries but that personally I don't want to go through another situation like that again. A few days later, after failing to convince me to change my mind, she left and I haven't heard from her since. It's been 6 months since the event and of course I miss her but I'm wondering if I

was in the wrong here. She's freaked out in the past when insects scared her, but never to the point of harming anyone. She wasn't able to explain why she reacted like this. She wasn't drunk and the people whose house we were at were very close friends. I really don't understand it, but it's caused lasting damage to me. Also OP adds an edit. I largely didn't include anything about the two friends because they didn't or couldn't

do much. My longtime friend, the guy, was the one who took the candle from her and his wife called 911. I was sitting next to my ex and the other couple was sitting directly across the fire pit. According to my friend, it happened fast and unexpectedly. Sounds like the paramedics were there less than 10 minutes after it happened. Neither of them remember seeing a spider or any other bug and both said that my ex was

freaked out when she saw what she had done to me, like she didn't even remember. But she did remember because she told me the story in the hospital. In any event, my guy friend is the one who strongly supported me when I decided to leave her. Yeah, here's the core problem with this post. I mean, there's a couple of problems. But the big one for me when it comes to, you know, breaking up or staying in a relationship is what if it happens again? You know? What if you're driving in a car and she sees, I don't know, a spider on the steering wheel? Does she just wreck the car? What if she's cooking and you come over to kiss her while she's cooking and there's

a spider on your hand? Does she stab you with the cooking knife? Throw boiling water in your face? Because apparently the sight of a spider causes her to go into like a Hulk smash rage and just obliterate everything around her. This woman needs like therapy or something because this is dangerous. I almost, it almost seems like this is attempted murder maybe? Bashing someone's skull with a metal container? Man, honestly, I'm relieved that OP didn't get skewered with a marshmallow skewer because

they said they were roasting marshmallows. OP, you gotta get out of this relationship. Man, this woman is dangerous. I'm giving you zero out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her... Geez! I think 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. She almost literally murdered you.

No, hold on. Okay, I gotta give 5 out of 5. She literally caused brain damage, man. This woman is crazy. Am I the butthole for dumping my boyfriend after he got a surprise from his ex? So we've been together just over 13 months. I'm a 27 year old woman and he's a 29 year old guy. We're planning on moving in together in about four months when his lease is up.

We've been to loads of events together. Weddings, engagement parties, birthdays, even his grandparents wedding anniversary party. We were due to attend his friend's wedding in a neighboring country. However, a few weeks before, he told me that he didn't want ME to go with him. He told me this just as I was booking my flights. I asked why, and he said that I'd be bored. I know his friend group well, so it's not like I wouldn't know anyone there. Anyway, despite many heated discussions, he was adamant. This left a bad taste in my mouth, and I felt that something was off. So me and seven of my friends decided to go for a break at the beach while he was gone,

and then extended it to a full week. I didn't even bother telling my boyfriend about this. Honestly, it felt like he wouldn't care, and I was on the brink of breaking up with him but decided to enjoy the beach break first. Then I got a call from Anna, a 26 year old woman out of the blue. Anna is the girlfriend of my boyfriend's best friend. She overheard my boyfriend talking to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was asking if he really wasn't going to bring me to the wedding.

My boyfriend had said, yeah, because my ex Lucy has finally RSVP'd. Apparently she texted my boyfriend and told him that she couldn't wait to see him again and had a surprise for him. They had broken up three years ago and she lived abroad and they kept in touch a little as far as I knew. Apparently my boyfriend was convinced the surprise was passionate hugging because this had been a kind of running joke with them when they dated. Anyway, he didn't want me there messing up his chance to do it with Lucy. My boyfriend

told his friend that this was a one-off event, but he had to do it. Well, that was enough for me. I knew that I'd be dumping him, but didn't want to spend a week of him texting or harassing me to forgive him while I was at the beach. So I just held off until we got back. I told my boyfriend that we would talk when I got back, that I was busy packing and to enjoy the wedding and I hoped it was full of surprises for him. He didn't reply. So I had a fantastic vacation. The rain held off and we stayed on the beach all day and hit night clubs and local bars

and restaurants at night. I didn't post on social media, but I was certainly tagged in a lot of pictures. He texted me a few times Thursday and Friday. Just general, the flight's leaving now and okay, I got here type of stuff. But on Saturday, the day of the wedding, he suddenly started texting and calling me a lot. The texts were about how he missed me and he made a mistake by not bringing me. I didn't reply and didn't answer to any calls. Then he got home on Saturday

night and he wanted to join us at the beach. I told him no, that he would just be bored. So on Sunday night, Anna called me and she couldn't stop laughing. His ex Lucy showed up and her surprise was that she was 7 months pregnant with her new husband's baby, and her shiny new husband was with her. Lucy played a cruel but hilarious prank on my boyfriend. Well, it also ended our relationship, but I was grateful to Lucy for showing me who he really was. Luke arrived back at my place on Wednesday after I got back, and he was love bombing me, telling me how much he missed me and apologizing again. At that point, I

told him I knew why he didn't bring me and that his surprise was an intercourse but a pregnant ex and her husband. So I told him it was over. I knew that he planned to cheat, even though he didn't get the chance to. I was laughing at how Lucy pranked him, but honestly, I was still hurting on the inside. He tried to get me to change my mind because he hadn't actually cheated, but I wouldn't. Am I the butthole for dumping him even though he didn't actually cheat? Hey, the thing to keep in mind here is that attempted murder is also a crime, even though you don't actually commit murder. If you, you know, buy a gun and a ski mask and make a plan to break into someone's house and then actually break into their house but the person isn't there, yeah, that's attempted

murder. It's a crime. So attempted cheating is also a relationship crime even though he didn't actually cheat. OP, you get zero out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your boyfriend 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also props to Anna because she's a real bro in this story. Am I the butthole for refusing to pay for a wedding portrait because my friend sexualized me in it?

My friend is a painter. I've seen her work and it's beautiful. I asked if she was willing to paint a portrait of me and my husband in our wedding outfits. I thought that it would be a good one year anniversary gift. I've seen her work and she can do realistic paintings of people. She asked for reference pictures for this and I gave her a few pictures and a $300 deposit. In total, we agreed to $700. She showed me the painting yesterday and my husband looked great, but I looked completely

different. In short, she sexualized me and I find it so gross. The painting has me with huge boobs when I don't really have any boobs. I'm an A-cup since I run so much. Also, my wedding dress is showing much more skin. She even added a split to my dress to show off more leg. I don't look like that in any of the photos I gave her. I find it really gross. I told her I will not be paying her, that she needs to fix it or she can keep it. This

caused a huge argument. She thinks that I'm a jerk for not paying and I pointed out the stuff above. The story is going around with my friends. Some think that I'm being petty, and others are standing by me. Down in the comments we're getting a couple of answers from actual professional artists, and the artists are on OP side, so I think OP pretty clearly gets zero buttholes here. I'm giving the painter friend 1 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not helping my parents since I'm not legally required to do so? My parents saved money for myself and my siblings to go to college. My two older

siblings used the money, went to the local college and started families. They had to work at part-time jobs to pay for social activities and such. I'm the youngest and I got a full ride scholarship to a great school. I asked my parents if I could use the money for other stuff than education related expenses. They sat me down and explained that the money was only for my education and since I don't need it, they weren't legally obligated to give it to me. They said that it wouldn't be fair since my brother and sister had to work during school if I got money for goofing around. I tried to explain that I studied much harder than they had and that my education wasn't costing them one cent, not even room and board. They wouldn't budge.

They used the money to take the family, including me, or so they thought, to Disney World and to renovate their home. I told them that I would not be joining them on that vacation. I left home when I graduated from high school. My uncle got me a job as a welder's helper for the summer. I gave up my summer, but I made enough that I wouldn't have to work during the school year. All the guys I was working with thought that I was nuts to give up pipeline money to go

to university. The welder I was working with actually gave me $2,000 as a gift at the end of the summer. He said that he gave me the job as a favor to my uncle and he thought that I would quit in a few days. He was impressed that I had worked my butt off for the whole summer. I did the same thing for the next two summers as well. I had a great time in school with my friends and professors and then in the summers with a bunch of hardcore blue collar guys that were earning more than most people. I didn't cut off my family or go no contact or anything. I just didn't have a lot of free time. When I was in school, I was busy keeping my marks

up and in the summer I was working. I really only saw my parents at Christmas and one year I went to my girlfriend's parents' home for Christmas instead. I got a co-op job the summer before my fourth year. It led to a job offer contingent on me graduating, which I did. I then went to work in some really cool places. I've been from the high arctic to Africa, Australia and South America. I don't have a wife or kids. My current lifestyle isn't really conducive to a great relationship. I work and travel. I've been doing this for 10 years now.

I'm making more than the pipeline welders for a much cleaner job that uses my brain. I still miss the camaraderie of hanging out with the boys, but those three summers gave me a great grounding in how guys in the field think, and that helped my career. The last time I talked to my parents, they asked me if I could help them out financially since they want to retire early and they know that I'm doing well. I also want to retire early, so I don't really want to give away my best egg. I asked them how much my brother and sister were giving them. They said that they had families and couldn't really afford to help. I said that it wouldn't be fair for me to give them money since neither

of my siblings were, and that since I wasn't legally obligated to do so, I wouldn't be doing it. They're upset with me for being stingy and holding a grudge. But I don't think that I am. I didn't ask them for a penny after I left home. I didn't ask them to pay for my travel when I came home at Christmas. Nothing. I've been paying for my own life since I was 18. I need to add that my parents aren't working at backbreaking jobs or anything. They're teachers. My brother is also a teacher and my sister is a social worker.

I am an engineer. Well OP, instead of your parents spending their money goofing off, they should have saved it towards retirement. I don't see how this is supposed to be your problem, OP. All you're doing is returning the energy that they gave you. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your parents 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for exposing my wife's secret TikTok account where she sells our kids embarrassing moments? I'm a 32 year old man and I recently stumbled upon my 30 year old wife's secret TikTok account that's been blowing up. She's been posting videos of our kids, an 8 year old boy and 5 year old girl doing silly things,

like tripping over their toys, singing off-key to their favorite songs, and even that time my son accidentally peed on the carpet because he couldn't find the bathroom in time. At first I thought it was harmless, a little cringe. But then I noticed that she was selling these videos to her followers as exclusive content. Woah! I was shocked to say the least. She's been raking in some serious cash, enough to consider a family vacation, which

is fantastic. But this feels incredibly wrong. Our kids are too young to consent to their embarrassing moments being shared with strangers, let alone for profits. When I confronted her about it, she called me a buzzkill and said that I was being over dramatic. I suggested we take down the account and maybe even have a talk with our kids about privacy. But she flipped out and accused

me of trying to ruin her fun. Now she's saying that I'm just jealous of her success and that I don't support her creativity? What? I ended up telling her friends about it and now she's furious with me. Some are on my side saying it's not okay to exploit our kids for likes and views, but others think I should just let her have her fun. So Reddit, am I the butthole for wanting to protect my kids and exposing my wife's funny side hustle? Or am I being an unsupportive partner and parent? So to start off, this one's easy. Your wife ethically shouldn't be posting your kids without your consent as well because you're also a parent.

But selling videos of your 5 year old peeing on a carpet to random internet strangers? That is literally divorce territory. No one buys videos of little kids peeing because it's cute. They buy it for reasons that can't even be discussed on YouTube. I would, I would dumper, man. I would dumper and I would seek soul custody. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 3.5 out of 5 buttholes.

That was r slash am I the butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.