rSlash - r/AITA My Husband Abandoned Me Mid-Miscarriage

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:07 Awful husband 1:55 Horse kick 4:53 Comment story 7:09 Child free 10:53 Pony 14:39 Eating Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to Artislash, Am I the Butthole where O.P.'s husband abandons her when she's in the middle of a miscarriage? Am I the Butthole for arguing with my husband because he left me at home while I was miscarrying? Wednesday, I got devastating news at my personal appointment that our baby had no heartbeat at 11 weeks old. This is our second pregnancy loss, and I'm distraught. My doctor advised me to go home and rest, and let my body naturally release all the pregnancy contents, which took two days to begin. Friday afternoon, the pain started to kick in, and it increased.

My husband had previous plans of going to his friend's house for dinner, but I felt like he should have stayed home with me to support me through this. The pain was so intense I was in tears and I couldn't comfortably walk or sit. He bought me some ibuprofen and said that he would call to check on me, but I felt that that wasn't enough. My mom offered to come over and nurture me, but I declined because I wanted him to be by my side. After four hours of not hearing from him, I exploded on him since he hasn't been back yet. Now we're talking about divorce. Yeah, I don't blame you, OP. If I were in your shoes, I'd be talking about divorce too.

You're going through one of the most traumatic events that a parent could possibly go through. Not just a parent, but the mother. And the guys like, okay, well, I looked a glass of water and some pink colors on the nightstand, so, uh, see, I'm gonna go play video games with my buddy. Okay, I'm giving you zero out of five buttles. I'm giving your husband's cheese,

4.5 out of five buttles. This level of callous disregard to another human being, the mother of your first child, and the would-be mother of your second child that you lost, this dude should be in mourning! Not celebrating with his buddy, is he a psychopath? Am I the butthole for telling my knees that it's her fault that my horse kicked her? I'm a 27-year-old woman. I have a 14-year-old niece who's the daughter of my older brother and his wife She's a very sweet girl and she loves my horses and the horses that I board which are all my friends

My brother and his wife live in the city while I live in my uncle's ranch on my mother's side in a different state I brother and I have different moms put the same dad They sent my niece to come stay with me for a few months, which I greatly accept it. My niece has been great. She calls her friend back in her home state and she facetimes her parents once in a while. She's been a great help with feeding my animals and my horses. The only problem is she doesn't know how to ride horses and sometimes teases the horses. I have two very young horses, a Philly and a Colt, which are very excited horses, and I don't allow her in the field with them. They like to kick and buck even when

people are around. I also have an old stallion, which was my first horse that my uncle got me. His name is Rooster, and he's 32 years old. Oh my god, horses can be that old. Hold up. How long do horses live? 25 to 30 years. Okay. So he's actually on the other side. Rooster is my niece's favorite horse. She's always wanted to ride him. But I don't allow anyone to ride him, and I don't even ride him anymore. Rooster is very patient and kind, but he doesn't like anyone touching his back legs and tail whenever you walk behind him. He will kick, but when he knows you're there, he doesn't mind being touched back there,

as long as anyone approaches him in the front. Overall, he's a great horse. My niece will tease him with a lunging whip by tickling his back legs and his tail, trying to get him to kick. I've told her numerous times and warned her. She still continues to do it behind my back. Well, recently I told her to get Rooster out of the pasture and into his stall. She went to go get him, and I heard a scream in the barn. I got over there, and she was holding onto her leg, crying in pain, while Rooster ran back to the pastures. I asked her what happened, and she said that Rooster had kicked her left thigh, and I asked her if she touched rooster on the back legs or his tail. She said that she pushed him on his tail to get him into the stall, and that's

when he kicked her and ran off. She started cursing about rooster and doesn't want to be around him. I told her it's her fault that she provoked him, and for not listening to me after so many warnings. I told her that bruise on her leg is a lesson now to be careful around bigger animals, especially ones that can kick at any moment. She was able to walk it off and she called her parents after. Her parents told me that it's my fault for not supervising her and that they're going to bring her home. I told them everything, but they won't listen and my sister-in-law told me that I need to get rid of rooster. I told her everything, but they won't listen, and my sister-in-law told me that I

need to get rid of rooster. I told her no and hung up. Now I'm wondering, am I the butthole? Down in the comments, we have this story from Sage Green. Back when my daughter was four, she had been told numerous times to never approach a horse from behind, especially to never touch his back legs when he can't see you because you're too short. My daughter got kicked in the chest and literally flew about 12 feet, landed on her back with her breath completely knocked out of her. I had to do the pull-up maneuver to get her to breathe again, and I thought that I was going to have to inflate her lungs myself with mouth to mouth for a split second, but she finally inhaled.

She was lucky her lungs didn't collapse. She had a horseshoe-shaped bruise on her sternum and chest area for two weeks. I examined her on the spot to make sure nothing was broken, and she got really lucky. After that, she listened to me regarding large animals and livestock because she knew that it was her fault. And she understood this lesson at four years old. So no, you are not the butthole here. You wander time and time again.

Okay, down in the comments, I'm seeing a lot of OP is not the butthole and the daughter is the butthole because she should understand better. But I'm kind of surprised by that because I think if you had a scenario of, you know, OP has a 16 year old kid and the 16 year old kid is constantly driving recklessly and

OP says don't drive recklessly, but the kid drives recklessly. Don't drive recklessly and the kid drives recklessly. And then inevitably the kid, you know, drives recklessly and hits someone else and enters them really badly. Everyone would be blasting OP in that story. Because since you're the adult in that situation, it would be your responsibility to take away the keys and make sure they're never put in that dangerous situation if they can't listen to instructions. So yeah, a 14 year old girl is old enough that she should be able to know better, but at the same time, since she's clearly not following instructions, OP should never allow that girl around horses. It's like okay if you can't follow instructions Then you've lost that privilege. You got to keep in mind even though 14 is old enough to know better

It's also young enough that she still requires some adult guidance in certain situations and this is definitely one of those situations So I'm giving the daughter two out of five but holes for being really reckless and I'm giving OP 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for not being a good aunt or a good horse owner. Am I the butthole for refusing to have a fully child-free wedding? So I recently proposed to my long-term girlfriend, and we're planning for a wedding in summer next year. Everything is still very early stages. My fiance has expressed that she wants a child-free wedding, which I'm all for, but I want to make one exception. My son, who's 15. I had my son from a previous relationship,

and we have evenly split custody of him. Until now, my fiance has gotten along great with him. We've had days out as a family, she's gone to see his ice hockey games, and she's even taking him out on fun days just the two of them. I brought up that I wanted to make an exception to the no kids rule for my son. She shot down that idea straight away and said that she didn't want anyone under 16 there because she doesn't want to feel like she or anyone else has to babysit on her special day. I told her that no one would have to babysit him. He's 15 and she knows that he's well-behaved, and he's generally a quiet kid. She then changed her reasoning and asked me why I wanted my old family and life on the

day that I was supposed to be making a commitment to her and our new family. I told her that while I will be making a commitment to her, my son will still very much be my son and my family. She then equated it to wanting my ex at our wedding? What, what, what am I reading? Which I don't want and I never asked for. I told her that I don't care about the aesthetics of the wedding and that she can pick everything else, the food, the vibe, the music, the dress, but the only thing that I want is my family at the wedding,

my parents, my sisters, and my son. That's my only ultimatum when it comes to our wedding. She started calling me controlling by giving me an ultimatum and said, I'd initially agreed to a child-free wedding. And what? And now I'm gaslighting her? I said that we can have a mainly child-free wedding,

but with this one exception, an exception that guests can't even complain about being unfair since the only child there is the son of the groom. She called me a dick and is now not talking to me. I really think that this is a reasonable request, but maybe I'm not seeing something, so am I the butthole? Yeah, Opie, I'd say you're not seeing something, but it's not what you think. What you're not seeing here is that your fiance is awful. Well, there's a line, I gotta reread this line, man.

She changed her reasoning and asked, why would you want your old family and your old life on the day that you're supposed to be making a commitment to me and my new family? Opie, that is a mask-off moment. She views your son as your old family, an old family member that she's only tolerating until you get married, and then it's out with the old and with the new. That line to me is an absolute immediate deal breaker. She's literally shown you the type of person she is, what she really wants in her heart of heart, which is to just kick out your son and not

have her be involved anymore, and as soon as you're married to her, it's just going to be you, her, and any future kids that you have. Opie, honestly, 100% this is relationship ending. You need to kill the engagement and just move on, man. There's no coming back from this. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your fiance 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. What's really troubling to me about this post is, you know, you approach this very reasonably, you said, you know, here are my reasons, and then she says that you're controlling and you're gaslighting her, but you're not doing either of those things. You're making a very reasonable request, like a normal adult. So she's literally manipulating you into thinking that you're the bad person to get

your weight. She's the controlling one. She's the gaslighting one. Dude, you gotta run, my friend. Run, take your son and run. Am I the butthole for letting my child ride her pony to school? I'm a 36 year old woman, and last week, my seven year old daughter asked me if she could ride her pony to school.

For context, we have a small paddock attached to our home where we keep two horses, one for me and one for my child. Every morning before school, my child gets all of our pony tours done before we leave, and we normally walk to school, which takes about 20 minutes. We live on the outskirts of a fairly populated city where it's not uncommon to see horses occasionally, but whereby no means in a rural village. I agreed to let my daughter ride her pony to school because I thought that it was a harmless, fun thing to do, and also it gives the pony some exercise because

we had evening plans and we wouldn't be riding that evening. We arrived at the school gates, and of course, we gathered a bit of a crowd, which wasn't a problem. The pony is very good and enjoyed all the paths and strokes from the kids. One girl, who's a year older than my daughter, came bounding over and started shouting at me, saying that she wanted to ride. I have politely told her that she couldn't because she doesn't have a riding hat and she would have to learn on a safer horse. She immediately started hysterically crying

and pleading with her mom, saying that she wanted to ride. Her mom looked at me with disgust and said, see, this is what happens when you have no self-awareness and bring an effing horse to school and stormed off dragging her kid with her. I was a bit taken aback, but I ignored her, sent my child into school

and walked the pony home. I was talking to my friend this week, and my friend said that I was, in fact, the problem, and I was blatantly showing off, and I should have known that this would upset kids and cause problems. My response was that I show up at the school gates and writing gear all the time, so everyone probably knows that I have horses. Is that showing off too? All I wanted to do was let my daughter do something a bit silly and fun. Now I'm really overthinking it though, and I almost feel nervous to do school drop off tomorrow.

So am I the butthole for letting my daughter ride her horse to school? Okay, so thinking about this, there's a couple of really easy parallels. One is like bringing a pet to school, like a dog or cat. Then you've got bringing the horse to school, and then another interesting parallel is bringing a really exotic sports car, like a Lamborghini to school to drop off your kid. And in all those scenarios,

you would expect to draw a certain amount of attention. You know, if you show up with a puppy, kids are gonna go crazy. If you show up with a horse, kids are gonna go crazy. If you show up with a Lamborghini, kids are gonna go crazy. If you show up with a horse, kids are gonna go crazy. If you show up with a Lamborghini, kids are gonna go crazy. But there's a world of difference between, hey, can I pet your dog? Can I pet your horse? And can I take a picture of your Lamborghini?

Versus, hey, can I walk your dog? Hey, can I ride your horse? And hey, can I take a ride in your Lamborghini? Or can I drive your Lamborghini? You know, the first set of responses is completely normal, it's expected even, especially among kids. But the second set is utterly unreasonable. No one can reasonably expect to come up to a random horse and be like, yo, can I ride the horse?

Yo, can I drive your Lamborghini? Can I have your dog for 30 minutes? That's just crazy. So OP, the reason why this woman got upset at you is clearly because she spoils her child and she makes her problem everyone else's problem. So don't worry about it OP, if you want to take your horse to school, you should. Also OP clarifies in the comments that she never actually brought the horse on the school grounds, she stopped the horse well before the school. Also, this was an ex-writing school pony who was surrounded by kids his whole life and used to do kids birthday parties

so it's super safe. So really, OP is just completely in the clear here. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the other lady in this story 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for eating at the house of the children I babysit for? I'm a 20 year old woman and I babysit for some extra cash on the side. So, the children I babysit for? I'm a 20-year-old woman and I babysit for some extra cash on the side. So, the family I babysit for ordered pizza for dinner. The mom left cash on the table for me to pay. It was me and two boys, ages 7 and 10. The mom ordered a large cheese pizza and breadsticks. I've always been under the impression that the babysitter is allowed to have a reasonable amount of dinner if they're expected to serve dinner.

I've babysat a few times in the past, and I've never encountered this before. When the parents came home to relieve me, they asked me how tonight went. I said fine, and that the pizza place was really good because I've never ordered from there before. The mom looked at me puzzled and asked me why I ate the kid's dinner. I said that I just had two pieces of pizza and a breadstick. I feel like that was not an inappropriate amount of pizza to eat. However, the parents disagreed.

The dad said that they didn't expect to have to feed me dinner as well, and they told me not to eat their family's food. Overall, I'm very uncomfortable and confused by this experience. Both boys were fed, and they didn't complain about being hungry for the rest of the night. I personally have always assumed, perhaps wrongly, that if I'm expected to serve dinner as a babysitter, then I'm welcome to have a serving. Is this something anyone else has experienced? Am I the butthole?

Yeah, so I'm not really sure why this post got 20,000 upvotes in one day because this is a pretty mundane, straightforward story. Opie, I'm on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving the parents like one out of five buttholes. I think your expectations here are reasonable. And if they didn't want you to eat pizza, then they should have warned you ahead of time. And if the parents didn't want you to eat pizza, then they should have warned you ahead

of time so that you could have prepared and brought your own dinner, right? That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.