rSlash - r/AITA My Husband HATES Our Daughters

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 He wants a son 8:25 Not his house 11;35 Wedding clothes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash Am I the butthole where OPs husband looks in the eyes of his pregnant wife and promises to never love their children. Am I the butthole for wanting to divorce my husband because he wants a son? I'm a 27 year old woman and I've been with my husband who's 29 for five years married for three of those years. Our marriage was perfect and we were so happy. It felt like our entire life was perfect. We went to church on Sunday, I had a loving husband, a beautiful home, all of it. A few months into our marriage, I became pregnant, and my husband and I were overjoyed, and so was the rest of our family. My husband was especially happy after finding out that our baby was a boy because he'd

always told me that he wanted at least one son. I even started to attempt to repair my relationship with my mother so that our son could have a relationship with his grandparents. I had originally cut off most contact with my mother due to how she treated my brother when he married his husband. Though my brother said that he was okay with my decision to get my mother back in my life since he still has love with her and my baby would be her first grandchild. However, our son ended up still born and it broke me.

I fell into a depression and even at one point considered taking my life, but my husband was there for me during all of this and we got through the grief. Our marriage felt stronger than ever and life started slowly feeling beautiful again, even if it no longer felt perfect. About 5 months ago, I found out that I'm pregnant again, and then I found out soon after that we're having triplets. My husband and I were over the moon and he was the most doding and loving husband. Since we always said that we wanted 2-3 kids, we agreed that we wouldn't try for any more

children after this. Because of everyone's excitement for the triplets, we decided to throw a baby shower and a gender reveal party. We trusted my brother with the genders of the triplets and he bought some confetti canons with some colored streamers inside. The baby shower went wonderfully. We had my parents, my in-laws, my brother and his husband and their daughter, and tons of friends and extended family.

It was like a dream come true, and I was so excited for the gender reveal. I don't care what the gender of our babies was. I just wanted healthy little babies, but my husband was clearly excited for potentially three sons. When the time came, my husband and my brother all shot the confetti cannon and all three shot out pink confetti. I was so excited and so was my brother, but my husband screamed at the top of his lungs and hit the table in front of us, hitting it so hard that it actually broke.

Yo, what the f**k? He screamed at me that I was supposed to give him at least one son because I killed the first one. Oh my god, okay. That's what I burst into tears. I'd been so broken up about our son's stillbirth and a part of me had felt that it was my fault. And now here's my husband, the love of my life telling me that it was my fault. My brother immediately stepped in and tried to get my husband to calm down, but my husband shoved my brother.

So my brother instead pulled me aside where I cried in the living room while my husband's mother tried to calm him down. I could hear him screaming outside about how three daughters is too many that he doesn't want four kids, but he also wants a son. Ever since that moment, my husband has hardly talked to me. He's been sleeping in the guest room, and when we do interact, he's clearly upset and mad and tries to argue with me. I tried to talk to him about it and asked about how he's going to be with our three daughters, but he spat at me. Yo, spat at you? Does OP mean he literally spat spit at you?

Or does OP mean like he spat at me like you say something angrily? He told me that he would provide them shelter and food, but he isn't interested in daughters and doesn't plan to have a close relationship with them. That sealed the deal that I want to divorce him, and I cried myself to sleep that night. Earlier today, I confided in my mother and mother-in-law about all of this, and they told me that I can't divorce my husband just because he wants a son. I don't want my daughters to grow up in an unloving household where their parents constantly argue and their father doesn't love them. The moment my husband said that I killed our son, I felt as though I lost all love I had

for him in an instant. And I don't want my daughters to be in that kind of household. However, both my mom and my mother-in-law say that it's just natural for men to want sons and that at least he isn't saying that he'll mistreat them. They treated this as absolute fact and acted as though I'm just a silly little girl who doesn't know anything. I felt incredibly small and stupid. I don't know what to do.

My mother and mother-in-law make me feel like maybe I'm overreacting to my husband's behavior, but my brother says that it's not normal as he and his husband are both men who absolutely love their daughter. I'm also not sure of what I'll do with myself if I divorce my husband. I don't work, and I'm not sure how I'll be able to find a job that can support me and three babies all on my own, or if I'll be able to make time for them all when I have to work, I feel so lost and helpless. I'm torn on what to do because I worry that

divorce will be too prash of a decision and that maybe my mother and mother-in-law are right. Am I the butthole? What should I do? You know the cool thing about living in the year 2023 is You know what the cool thing about living in the year 2023 is? Science has developed to a point where we get to know which person determines a gender of a baby. And you want to know who it is? It's the man! It's the dude! It's the sperm that determines a gender. Not the egg, it's the father that determines a gender. Not the mother, you absolute! S- mourn. How is this dope is gonna blame

the mother for triplet girls when it's the sperm that determines the gender of the baby? Dude, you shouldn't be yelling at your pregnant wife. You should be yelling at your nut sack. All right. Sorry. I had to get that off my chest. That is just oh, that's so stupid. Wasn't there a king of England who did this where he wanted a son and he started executing his wives because they kept giving daughters, but it's like, dude, you know, I guess, you know, this probably happened like the 1600s and they're all and they're all a bunch of idiots, so they didn't know that Maine caused it, but still it's just why are people so dumb? God, where do you even start with a story like this? Opie, the fact that this guy thinks that you killed your son is to me a deal breaker

to break all deal breakers. I don't even know why you have to justify it with him saying, I am not going to love my daughters and I'm going to give them food and shelter but I don't want to love them. And you have to say, well, I'm worried about my daughters and I'm gonna give them food and shelter, but I don't want to love them And you have to say well, I'm worried about my daughters growing up in the environment You know, you don't even need that justification the fact that he screened this at you in front of your entire family and accused you of murdering a baby is it's unforgivable the word is unforgivable

I guess I guess also if you pile on the abuse, the anger, the promising to not love his three daughters, this dude's a psychopath. Okay, also I'm going down to the comments and the way OP wrote the sentence, it wasn't super clear if she means that he literally spat spit at her, but a bunch of other people are being like, yo, he spit at you. So it seems like I'm not the only person who interpreted that way. So this guy, yo, this dude's just, oh my God.

Oh man, what do you even say to someone like this? What do you even say? This guy's just scum, he's trash. He should be discarded. You should cut him out of your life. Good luck, OP. You have a very rough road ahead of you. And I wish you and potentially your three daughters the best in life. I wish your husband the worst in life. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband five out of five buttholes. I'm also gonna give him five out of five more on it because he's un-addiant. Am I the butthole for telling my brother that he can't raise his child in

my house? I'm a 27 year old man and I've had dreams of being a homeowner for as long as I can remember. I actually started saving for a house since I was 18. Three years ago, I bought a 3-bit room 2 bathroom house and while it's not the best house, I'm beyond blessed to have my own house, and home ownership is everything I always hoped it would be. To be able to come home and have everything exactly where I left it, to be able to play video games all day and have no one tell me otherwise, it feels like I'm free and in control of my own life, which is all I've ever wanted.

About a year ago, my older brother, who's 36, and his wife asked to move in with me because while they can't afford rent, they don't want to pay $2,000 a month for an apartment. While I didn't want them here, I reluctantly agreed because I can't tell my own brother that he can't live with me when I have two empty rooms in my house. Knowing that he would let me live with him if I'd ever asked, and I was also fortunate enough to have a family to live with while I was saving to buy my own house. I don't charge them rent or ask them for anything, but they give me around 400 bucks a month to help out.

My brother and his wife have been trying to conceive a child for a long time, and they're finally successful in doing so. They're expecting in a few months. While I'm extremely happy for them, I also don't want them living with me. I didn't buy my house for them, I bought it for me. I didn't sign up for having my living room built with baby toys and having my gaming room turned into a kid's bedroom. I didn't sign up for my fridge being full of milk for a kid who isn't mine. This leads to today, where I've asked them to move out before

the birth of their child. They were both extremely offended and hurt that I told them this. My family also seems to think that it's wrong if me to ask them to find their own place when they're expecting a child. Okay, then you take them in! Why do we have to do this over and over? Okay, okay, here's an idea. Here, I've got a brilliant idea. If you think that they shouldn't be throwing out on the street when they're expecting a child, then you take them in.

Mom, dad, grandpa, aunt, cousin, if you're so upset about this, then you take them in. Oh, okay, okay, let's calm down. Opie, they have no right to be upset at you. Because of your generosity, they've been able to save $1,600 a month. You've been extremely generous with them. Also, I think it's very reasonable for you to not want to kid in your house, because take it from someone who has a 2.5 year old, once a kid is living in your house, kid

stuff gets everywhere. So I'm on your side OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your entitled brother and sister-in-law 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the rest of your family 2.5 out of 5 buttholes because I am so sick of the hypocrisy! My God! And you know, they're response to this really begs the question. If it's not appropriate to kick out a couple other pregnant, when is it appropriate to kick out a couple? When they have a newborn, when they have a one-year-old, a two-year-old, a three-year-old,

are you expected to just let them live there forever for the next 18 years? Am I the butthole for outshining the bride? So, I'm a 27-year-old woman and a black African woman. I'm living and working in Germany for a fixed period on secondment, what the hell is secondment? A secondment is the detachment of a person such as a military officer from his or her regular organization for temporary assignment elsewhere. Okay, so I guess that means OP is in the military. I became quite friendly with a colleague, a 60-year-old woman, and she invited me to her daughter's wedding. I was excited because I've never friendly with a colleague, a 60-year-old woman, and she invited me to her daughter's wedding.

I was excited because I've never been to a white wedding. I asked if there was a dress code slash color scheme to adhere to since it wasn't specified on the invites. I was told the implied message was dressed to impress. Bet. The day of the wedding, I understand the assignments. I wear my traditional African wear, which is really beautiful and obviously not German. The garment is green, so no problem there.

Or so I thought. I got a lot of questions and compliments at the wedding, which I genuinely downplay because it's not my day. My colleague seems colder than usual, but I pay at no mine since she's mother of the bride and she could be preoccupied. The bride is downright rude to me, but again I give her grace. I congratulate her and I thank her for including me and I get a tight frown in response. I keep to the edges of the room because the music isn't really my vibe and I'm just observing how European weddings

work. I leave 5 hours later around 8pm and go home before the wedding finishes. Monday, I walked into whispers in the office. People were acting strangely and more reserved than usual. An office friend pulls me aside and fills me in. The bride's mother is fuming. My outfit was too extravagant over the top and inappropriate. Apparently, I drew attention from the bride and commandeered the room. I was rude and disrespectful.

The mother of the bride told people all about it, apparently. I approached the mother of the bride and asked to speak to her, but she said that she had nothing to say to me. I asked her why she had to share this information with everyone else, but never talked to me about it, and she called me an insolent child. I explained to everyone who scolded me that this was my first white person wedding. I specifically asked what to wear, and I followed the guidelines, where I'm from, there is no such thing as outshining the bride.

Weddings are a fashion show, and a chance to wear your best and brightest colors. They told me that this isn't Africa, which was racially coded and people here have manners. I laughed and told the person to go to hell, so she's telling people that I lack remorse from my behavior. I'm wondering if I'm really the butthole though. Okay, so first off, I have to point out that I don't know the first thing about German weddings, so it is possible there's some faux pas here that I'm not picking up on because I'm not in the know about German culture. So I'm just going to speak from this from an American perspective and how American weddings generally go. I think if you invite a black African woman to your wedding, an opi specifically says that she's not African American or I guess African German

in this case, she is an African woman. If you invited African woman to your wedding, you have to kind of expect that she's going to wear traditional African garb, right? At least I would. I know about expectors as a strong word. I wouldn't be surprised if she showed up in traditional African garb. So overall, I'm on your side. I think there might be a little bit of racism going on here, perhaps? Let me think, let me think. If OP is in Africa and if OP invited a white lady to her wedding, you wouldn't really expect the white lady to show up in African-Garb, right?

You would expect her to show up in a formal European-slash American-style dress, right? Yeah, okay. OP, I've completely on your side. These people seem dumb. Unless I'm completely missing something about German culture, I'm on your side. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the bride and the mother of the bride 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow

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