rSlash - r/AITA My Husband Puts his Pee in My Food

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Pee food 3:42 Trypophobia 7:00 Fix it 9:54 Gave away ashes 11:55 College fund Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the Butthole where OP discovers that her husband is putting pee pee in her food. Am I the butthole for wanting to divorce my husband because he added pee to my food? I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I've been married to my husband, who's 36 for four years, and I don't know who the F I married anymore.

So he's always had this weird fetish he told me about where he wanted to pee on my face during the act, and I was like, no, just no, I have never been into that. He asked a few times, I always shut it down. He never pushed it, so I thought that was the end of it. I was wrong. A few months ago, I started noticing my food tasting weird. Not like bad like rotten, but just off. Like my overnight oats, my yogurt bowls, sometimes my brewed coffee. I thought maybe the fridge was messing up, but everything else tasted fine. I threw out so much stuff thinking it was spoiled, but it kept happening.

But here's the thing, I never got sick. No stomach aches, no nothing. So I started thinking maybe he was like poisoning me slowly or I don't know trying to drug me or something. But it wasn't even making me sick so it made no sense. I was just super stressed. Also like why would he drug me? He's always loving so it wasn't making sense. I told my friend about it and she was like,

you need to put a camera on your fridge just in case. Because it's just him and I living alone. The only other person coming over is our moms sometimes. So I did put a camera on the fridge because I was losing my mind. I got a tiny one from Amazon, set it up and waited. This man, my husband, peed in my overnight oats and my brewed coffee. He took the lid off, peed, and put the lid back on, then shook it. Then he put it back in the fridge like nothing

happened. I thought that I was gonna throw up right there. I lost it. I went full psycho. I broke his PS5, his TV, threw his clothes outside in the snow, messed up his shoes, everything. He came home and I just screamed at him. He started crying, begging, saying it was his fetish and he thought that it was a way to do it without me knowing. Like what the hell? Like does he think that makes it better? He said that he'll go to therapy, we can put cameras all over the house, he'll never

do it again. He was saying that we took vows and we have to work through this. I'm at my friend's place right now, I haven't told anyone else, I don't know what to do. He's blowing up my phone saying that I'm ruining our marriage over this mistake. But like, this isn't a mistake, it's effing vile. And I can't look at him the same way. Am I the butthole for wanting to divorce him or should I try to forgive him? Because I really just want to vomit forever. OP, I'm on your side.

Totally justified to be pissed off here. This reminds me of that case in, I think, France where the husband would drug his wife to the point of unconsciousness and then invite over random guys to do whatever they wanted with her because, of course course that was his fetish. But just because something's a fetish doesn't make it magically not illegal. This has got to be some kind of assault or sexual assault or food tampering, maybe all the above. I don't know. I would dump them and send them to jail. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband… Oh gosh, I think 4.5 out of 5 buttholes seems fair. Maybe 5? Yeah, yeah, I think this is actually a 5 out of 5 situation.

Am I the butthole for continuously triggering her trypophobia? I'm a 19 year old girl and I've had acne for so long that I honestly can't remember my skin without it. I used to wear a lot of concealer to cover it up, but that only made things worse. Eventually I realized my skin was controlling my life and draining my bank account. So when I started at a new school, I decided to stop wearing makeup. My skin still isn't great, but I'm on medication, so I have some hope that it'll improve. Here's the problem. There's a girl in my class, Callie, who's 18, who has trypophobia.

For those who don't know, trypophobia is a fear of like a bunch of small holes. Think like a beehive, because it calls to mind an infestation or lots of like little bugs crawling around in holes is my understanding of it. I had no idea until we were put in a group together. The moment I spoke to her, she started crying. Naturally, I asked what was wrong and she screamed at me that my face was triggering her trypophobia. Her friends immediately jumped in to comfort her while I just sat there confused, wondering

if I was supposed to apologize for my skin, something I obviously didn't choose to have. When I tried to speak again, she told me to shut up and leave because I was drawing attention to myself by talking. I asked what she expected me to do about it, and she said that I could at least wear concealer. I explained that that wasn't an option because it's expensive and it just worsens my acne. Her friends glared at me and called me selfish. That was just the first incident. Ever since then, anytime I sit near Callie or have a presentation in front of the class, she starts dry heaving or crying. I think having a panic attack. It's disrupting lessons so much that my teacher pulled me aside and asked if I could

just wear concealer for her sake of keeping the peace. She admitted it wasn't fair, but said that she couldn't think of another solution. I already feel like such a freak because of my skin. I know my skin is horrid, but why am I the one expected to cater to Kali? I didn't choose to have acne any more than she chose to have trypophobia. I can't help it, but I feel like I'm being unfairly treated here. But at the same time, I know she can't control her reaction either. So am I the butthole?

Should I just wear the damn concealer? Okay, if Kali's mental state is so fragile that the sight of acne is sending her into a panic attack, then she needs some sort of special accommodation. It sounds like she needs therapy or coping mechanisms or if you're triggering her, she should just stop looking at you. I definitely want to be sympathetic because if she really does have a genuine phobia, then that's not her fault.

But at the same time, it's not your fault either. And what she's doing is, it's not your fault either. And what she's doing is, in my opinion, bullying you. OP, considering that the teacher is taking Kali's side, I think that what you should do is escalate and complain that you're being bullied in school because it's the only way you're going to get any sort of protection. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Kali, I think, 1 out of 5 buttholes because, you know, I feel bad for her for having

a phobia but she needs to handle it better. I'm giving the TEACHER 2.5 out of 5 buttholes for unfairly picking sides here and basically enabling bullying. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that he created this mess and he needs to fix it? My husband and I always planned on having kids. It ended up happening a couple of years before we planned due to a condom breaking. I didn't mind though, I was super happy to welcome our daughter, Belinda. A few years later, we started trying again for a second time, but it took us a little

bit to conceive and we ended up having to use IVF. The doctors never figured out why I couldn't get pregnant the old fashioned way the second time around. But after one round of IVF, my husband and I welcomed our son, Philip. Belinda is now 15 and Philip is 9. A close family friend of ours is going through their own fertility journey. My husband and I were discussing it. I mentioned something about IVF and Philip asked what that was.

I explained and then added, We used that to have you. Belinda asked if we used IVF to have her. I was about to answer no and leave it at that when my husband butted in with, No, you're here because the condom broke. Laughing. Belinda immediately looked hurt. We've had the talk and have discussed that sometimes condoms aren't effective, how to use them properly and other forms of birth control. So she understood exactly what he was saying. I quickly added, you were a surprise, but a much welcome surprise. We always planned on having kids.

It just happened a few years sooner than expected. Belinda just nodded and quietly said, okay, but I could tell that she was really upset. I later told my husband to apologize and make sure she understands that she's loved and wanted. He told me I was overreacting. I spoke with Belinda and told her that she was loved and wanted. She seemed to feel a lot better, but still wasn't completely happy. It's been a few weeks, and Belinda has made little jabs here and there.

Not in the playful way. Clearly she's still hurt. She'll say things to her dad like, well, clearly as I was some big mistake and sorry for inconveniencing you. My husband got fed up and told her she was being dramatic and he didn't mean anything by that comment. He later told me to tell her to cut it out. I said no.

He said it, he made her feel like garbage and he hasn't spoken to her about it since. He has to deal with the consequences of that. She's a sensitive teenage girl. That's a scary combination when they feel rejected and unwanted by their fathers. My husband is now saying I'm in the wrong. Am I the butthole? Unfortunately, this feels like a core memory moment, something that this poor girl is never going to forget. And I also think that the window to damage control and fix this has passed.

So I think it's probably the case here that the husband has irreversibly damaged their relationship. Still, I don't understand why he doesn't just put on his big boy pants and talk to his daughter. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving my husband after he gave away some of my baby's ashes? My daughter passed away in a tragic accident when she was 2 years old.

At the time, my stepdaughter was still coming around regularly and we had a decent relationship. We weren't close or anything, but I tried my best to get along for my husband's sake. She was 13 at the time my daughter passed away, and my stepdaughter's mother came to my husband and asked if she could have some of my daughter's ashes to put in a keepsake for my stepdaughter. I refused off the bat. Not only is my stepdaughter not responsible enough for something that important, I didn't like the idea of separating my baby's ashes at all.

My stepdaughter has since stopped visiting as much, and it's been three years since my daughter passed away. And my stepdaughter's mom came to me again asking for more ashes because my stepdaughter lost the keepsake some time ago and was torn up about it. I was shaking because I was clear about not wanting to separate her ashes and I asked her what she meant. She told me that after our initial conversation that we had three years ago, my husband gave

her the ashes anyways to put in a keepsake. I confronted my husband on this and he shrugged it off saying that it wasn't that big of a deal. I packed my bags, took my daughter's urn, and went to stay at my sister's house. It's been two weeks since I left, and he's been blowing up my phone with phone calls and texts, some begging and crying, and some telling me that I'm a butthole for blowing this out of proportion. Then today, a mutual friend sent me a screenshot of a post made on Facebook from my stepdaughter's mother saying that I'm punishing my husband for doing something nice for his only living child and that I'm just bitter.

I am so torn up over this. Am I the butthole? This is actually reprehensible behavior. Your husband is awful. He deserves to be dumped and beaten with a golf club. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for sacrificing my daughter's college fund because her sister just gave birth to her fourth child? I'm a 48 year old woman. My 24 year old older daughter gave birth to her

fourth child 6 months ago. She used to work as a dishwasher, but due to health issues stemming from her second child, chronic back pain. And then her third child, she can no longer work. She tried her best, getting an office temp job, but after about a week, the woman supervising her said this isn't working out. The supervisor was a very uptight woman who claimed that just because it always took her three days max to train everybody else on the data entry work, that she just can't be a good person and accommodate slower learners.

That supervisor likely caused my daughter to get a bad reputation at the temp agency and she didn't get hired elsewhere. My daughter's boyfriend, who's 28, works at Walmart. He had much more hours when she was pregnant, but since then, his hours have ebbed and flowed. He said that he'll take a day in the future to look for jobs, but it's the holiday and he's busy with family. I feel a lot of empathy for my daughter and her boyfriend, and I wish that I could help them out more.

But I myself am a single mom working for a nursing home where I struggle to get full-time hours. And my ex ran up a lot of debt in both of our names and is now living in another country. My younger daughter, who's 17, has a college fund. The amount in it would be enough to pay a large amount of a two-year community college tuition, along with the scholarships and grants that she would likely get. She applied to four-year universities with the understanding that she'd be taking out loans and working, so she's deciding between four years and community college. The other shoe dropped after my older daughter's landlord found out that they were

having her boyfriend's brother and girlfriend living in their one bedroom in exchange for them helping with the rent and they got evicted. My older daughter agrees that it was wrong to lie to the landlord and both parents are depressed because her boyfriend got a job offer one state away and they would have to move from their support network. They came to me asking for help so they could have more time to find financial stability here. I was torn, but seeing my grandkids, I knew my duty was to care for the most vulnerable in the family. So I'll be making calls to liquidate my younger daughter's college fund, saying yes to paying the penalties and I told my younger daughter this.

She got very cold and said, "'You always brag about having a good memory. I hope you remember this moment then.'" She hasn't spoken to me since. She spent Thanksgiving inquiring with family friends to see if hospitals are keen to hire college students for kitchen or reception or anything. She made some cryptic posts online about how she hopes she'll be grateful one day that she won't have the privilege of studying anything outside of some technical because she needs something where she'll

always be able to find a job. Am I the butthole? Well, I mean on the one hand, it's your money and you can spend your money however you want to. However, you have to understand that if you choose to spend your money supporting one daughter and not supporting the other, then there's bound to be consequences. One of those potential consequences is that that daughter completely cuts you out of your life. And yeah, it sounds like that's happening here. OP, I'm giving you 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your younger daughter 0 out of 5 buttholes. I also think I have to give the older daughter 2 out of 5 buttholes because if you can't afford to have 4 kids, maybe you shouldn't have 4 kids because then you're just forced to ask

other people around you to pay for your lifestyle. That was r slash amythebutthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.