rSlash - r/AITA My Husband's Mistress Wants My Child

Episode Date: January 23, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Poison 3:49 Designated driver 6:50 The will 11:41 Daughter 14:32 Insult Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP poisons her roommate. Am I the butthole for poisoning my roommate after he kept stealing my food? I'm a 25 year old woman and I live with my roommate, a 27 year old guy. He pays half of the rent and utilities. We've had some serious issues lately. I work full time late into the night, so I cook for myself before leaving for work. It was all good for a few months, until recently. Whenever I came home, I noticed that my food was missing.

I'd ask him about it and he would deny it over and over again, every single time. I even started to label everything I made with my name, but my food still kept disappearing, which pissed me off. Now for context, I'm not a huge fan of nuts. I don't crave them, I don't eat them much at all, but my roommate is severely allergic. He told me when he came to live with me that he can't consume anything with nuts, so I've avoided nuts in our shared space completely for the sake of his allergy. But after weeks of my food going missing and him always denying it, I just snapped.

The thing is, literally no one lives here other than me and him, and he doesn't really have a lot of friends since he joined my friend group after moving here. I know for a fact that he doesn't have anyone staying over, so it was him. Plus, I even caught him eating my food a few times, so that just shows that he's a sly pig. I remember preparing some cooked ribs for myself to reheat after I returned home from work. It was going to be an especially tiring day, so as usual, I labeled the container with the ribs and left for work. I sent him a message telling him not to eat it with a picture of the container. However, alas, the food was gone. At this point, I was so pissed that I decided I was going to mess with him.

I went out of my way to buy almond powder and put it in my trap meal of mac and cheese. I gave this guy a chance to spare his life. I told him not to eat it. I even made sure to tell him, hey, that mac and cheese is mine, don't touch it. I even sent a message with a picture of it as usual. I was being extra clear and just to make sure everything went according to plan, I secretly set up a camera to record the kitchen. Later that night, I came back and saw that he had eaten the entire batch. That pig was so effing inconsiderate that he just left the reheated container on the table.

I decided to take the camera with me and went out to a bar. As expected, a few hours later, I found out he was in the hospital with an allergic reaction. His mom used his phone to call me furious. She was screaming at me, accusing me of being a monster and poisoning her son by feeding him nuts. I told her that it was food not meant for him and sent her proof. I told her to read the messages that I sent him, which showed the container and my reminder that he shouldn't eat it. However, his mom started berating me for being careless, asking why I would have something that he can't eat. I just responded that I told him to not eat the mac and cheese and I even labeled it.

I got pissed and screamed into the phone that if he can't respect that and he keeps taking my food then I don't know what else to do. I told her that I've been very clear about this for months and that he keeps on stealing my food and denying it. She then started BSing, asking me if I even cared about him. I told her I didn't because I've repeatedly told him not to steal my food. She didn't want to hear it and started crying, but honestly, I didn't feel guilty at all. I felt like this was the only way he'd learn. I tried conversations, messages, and everything else I could think of, but he just can't cook for himself.

How is it my fault? It's not like I put it in his food, it was mine! But everyone is calling me a psycho, but I don't get why I'm the bad guy. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your roommate 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining my family's New Year's Eve by refusing to join The Fun because I didn't want to be the designated driver again? I'm a 26 year old woman and every New Year's Eve my family has a big party at my aunt and

uncle's house and every year, without fail, I end up being the designated driver. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, but it's starting to bug me. It's been like this since I was 19, even before I was legally allowed to drink. I don't drink much, maybe a glass of wine or a beer, but I don't get plastered. I'm fine with driving people home if they need, but for the past few years, everyone expects me to not drink so I can drive them back. Every year it's the same. Oh, can you drive? You're not drinking anyways. I always say yes because I don't want to let anyone down. Fast forward to this year's New Year's Eve.

I told my family ahead of time that I wasn't going to be the designated driver anymore. I just wanted to enjoy the night, have a couple of drinks, and not be responsible for getting everyone home. I even told my cousin, who usually gets really sloshed that I wasn't driving this year, and she was fine with it. When I got to the party, it was the usual chaos. People were drinking, laughing, having a good time. I was enjoying myself, but around 11, my cousin came over and asked if I was ready to drive

everyone home. I reminded her that I'm not driving tonight. I'm here to enjoy the party. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, Come on, you always drive. don't be a b-word. Which like, what the hell? I tried to calmly explain that I wasn't being a b-word, just that I wasn't going to be the chauffeur anymore.

Then my aunt overheard and pulled me aside. She lectured me saying, We all agreed last year you'd be driving, and you know how much we rely on you. Everyone here is too tipsy and Ubering is so unsafe. Just drive this one time for family." I felt a ton of pressure but refused. I told her I'm not their chauffeur and I wasn't going to do it again just because no one else could figure out their own ride.

My aunt got upset saying that I was being selfish and that we're family. She said that I'm the only one who doesn't get too drunk, so it makes sense for me to help out. I told her I'd already had three beers, so I wasn't even legally supposed to drive myself. That's when I snapped. I told them it's not my job to be their designated driver every year just because I'm the only one who doesn't get blackout drunk. They need to figure out their own rides this time. Then I got up and left. I felt bad walking out, but I didn't want to be a doormat anymore. I spent the rest of New Year's Eve at home, watching Netflix and eating leftover pasta with my boyfriend. My family texted me, calling me dramatic, selfish, and saying I ruined the night.

They said I was being super sensitive, and that everyone was disappointed in me. Everyone's demanding an apology out of me, even now. And by the way, I got home perfectly safe by Uber. Your family's super hypocritical. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your family 1.5 out of 5. Am I the butthole for cutting off my parents because they plan on leaving almost everything to my disabled brother? I'm a 24 year old woman and my 32 year old brother is a failure to launch. He's never been very smart, he did badly in school and never went to college.

He tried two different trade schools, welding and mechanic, but he basically flunked out of both. He works at a gas station now. My brother and I are our parents' only children. They always treated us relatively equal until adulthood. They always insisted we earn our own way. They refused to pay for college or anything. I joined the military at 17, got an associate's degree while I was in, and my GI bill went

towards my bachelor's. I'm working towards my master's now. My husband and I have bought a house and have done well for ourselves. My parents, however, fully paid for my brother to try trade school twice. They've given him cash when he was behind on rent and countless loans. They support him cosplaying as an adult. Meanwhile, they never paid for my wedding, education, nothing. I don't really care so much that they didn't give me money, but I do care about the disparity in how they've treated me versus my brother. Our parents are in their 60s now, and while they aren't that old, they're both in bad

health and probably won't live another 10 years. They just recently started working on their will and notified us that they were leaving almost everything to my brother. But they want me to be their medical power of attorney, manage their estate, etc. I told my parents to give my brother everything, and that I'm completely done with them. They told me to have some grace and understand the fact that he isn't very capable and needs their support even after they're gone. My mother has a doctor's appointment this morning and asked me for a ride since medically

she can't work. I told her to ask her favorite child or pay for an Uber. Things have been tense and hostile. My brother called me to apologize and asked me to not be mad at him, but I told him that I'm not mad at him, I'm mad at our parents for not treating us equally and he didn't do anything wrong. Then three days later OP posted an update. So my brother isn't actually disabled, he just has a low IQ, just over 80.

You need an IQ under 70 where I live to be considered disabled and to qualify for some sort of benefits. My parents have babied him from a young age because he wasn't as smart as other kids and had a low self-esteem because of that, and was quick to give up on things when they seemed too hard. He does okay on his own now. He works and pays his bills, most of the time. He drives and lives with a roommate.

So I sat down with my parents and explained that I've always felt like they treated me worse than my brother. They always emphasized to me that as an adult, you need to support yourself and figure things out on your own. I had joined the military at 17 because I knew they would kick me out when I was 18. My parents never offered me any support outside of raising me as a child. They didn't even buy my husband and I a wedding gift. They didn't offer much of anything.

Meanwhile, they brag about having over a million dollars in the bank and having succeeded from nothing. I told my parents about my complaints and they were interrupting me and talking over me the whole time. They told me I'm not entitled to a dime when they die and that I am an adult and I can handle myself. They just weren't understanding or even caring about my points. They told me I need to step up and treat them better and that it's wrong of me not to take

my sick mother to the doctor or to take care of her because of money. Eventually, I just gave up on trying to talk about my feelings because they just don't care. I told them that they're adults and they're not entitled to anything from me. Just like how they were never required to help me, I'm not required to help them. I told them to completely remove me from their will. I'm not willing to be their estate executor, medical power of attorney, nothing. I don't want a dime from them at

this point. And I suggested they spend all the money they saved over the years to pay for really good nursing homes and an estate executor because I am no longer willing to do anything for them. My mother was floored and asked if I would really put my own parents in a nursing home. I asked if they would really put my own parents in a nursing home. I asked if they would really let their 17-year-old daughter join the army to get sexually harassed by older men in order to go to school without taking on a huge debt. My parents cried and yelled at me and I left. And that's that I guess.

I kind of feel relieved like a massive weight is off my shoulders. I have a wonderful husband and we own a nice home. I'm getting ready to start working on my master's degree and we're thinking about maybe having a baby soon. I no longer have to worry about dealing with my parents. They're adults and they can deal with their own problems just like I've done with mine. And yeah, that's it. Oh no!

The consequences of my actions! OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my ex's sterile affair partner to have her own daughter if she wants to share cheerleading with one? I'm a 40-year-old woman and my 44-year-old ex cheated on me and ended our marriage so he could be with his affair partner, Jen, who's 42. This happened several years ago when our kids were very young. My ex gets our kids

six days a month. He works out of state frequently, so this was the most consistent schedule where our kids would be with the parents, me or my ex, instead of being left with a babysitter or his wife. According to my ex, Jen is sterile and can never have kids. I never asked about this, but they offered this information in hopes that I would share the kids with her more and encourage them to embrace Jen as their second mom. I have not done this,

and I've told them we are not friends, and they are not to expect favors from me after going behind my back and doing what they did. Jen was someone I knew before learning of the affair. She was dating someone in my ex's friend circle and made a point to get to know me. I found out why after. She was expecting that us being friends would help me not hate her afterwards.

I bring this all up because of what's currently going on. Jen was a big cheerleader in her youth and she volunteers with local cheer groups. She wants my 10 year old daughter to get involved in cheer. My daughter told me about it the other week because Jen was trying to make her go and my ex was backing Jen on it. My daughter told me that she didn't want to and she needed my help. All of the kids are aware that stuff like this has to be agreed on by both me and their dad. I reached out and told my ex that our daughter will not be put in to cheer against her will

and that he needs to stop pressuring her to join. He didn't respond back the way he's supposed to, through an app, so I noted his reply on the app and got a lot of cussing back. Jen tried to call me, but I didn't answer. She approached me a few days later while we were in the same store and she told me that I can't keep punishing her by depriving her of my children. She said that since she's been in their lives since they were little, she has every right to bond with them and share stuff with them like that. I told her she does not get to force my kids into stuff like that against their will. I walked away and she followed me around for a bit and told me that it was her dream to share cheer with a daughter and all that crap that I don't care about.

I told her that she should have a daughter of her own if she wants to share it and leave mine alone. She stopped following me after that and I heard from my ex a few times after saying that I was cruel to say that to her when I know that she can't have children. Am I the butthole? So she's a literal home wrecker who wrecked OP's home, but OP is then supposed to just turn around and help this home wrecker make her own home? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes.

The home wrecker and your cheating ex-husband get 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving my mother's party after she insulted my daughter? I'm a 36 year old woman and I have a stepdaughter, Anna, who's 14. I married Anna's father when Anna was 2. I consider her to be my real daughter in every way that matters and love her just as much as my biological children. Most of my family adores Anna. She's a very sweet and hardworking girl who does her best to make them proud. However, my mother appears to not like her. She's never outright said that she dislikes my daughter or why, but I've always thought

that it's because Anna wasn't my biological child. I've been teaching Anna to cook for a few years now. She asked me last year if she could start bringing her cooking to family gatherings and potlucks, and of course I agreed. My mother started critiquing Anna's dishes. It began with just suggesting she had different spices or cook an ingredient a little longer. But over the past few months, it's been getting worse. She doesn't criticize the dishes of any other family members. This Thanksgiving, she told Anna that the casserole she made was disgusting and inedible.

I told my mother to stop criticizing Anna and that she was doing her best, but she just brushed me off, which was the final straw. My family was in town this week to celebrate my mother's birthday. I had some curry that my mother had made about six months ago and had given to me to freeze, so I reheated it and brought it to the party. And I told everyone that Anna had worked very hard to make it just like her grandmother always did. Immediately, my mother started criticizing the curry, saying how Anna added too much spice and overcooked the chicken. She even went so far as

to tell Anna that she should stop bringing food to Potlucks altogether. I hadn't originally intended to make a big deal out of this, but that comment crossed a line. I informed my mother that it was her own curry that I'd reheated and Anna hadn't actually cooked it. She immediately started sputtering and backpedaled, saying she was just trying to give constructive criticism and make Anna a better cook, but I knew she didn't really believe it. I asked her why she would treat my own stepdaughter so badly, and she admitted that she didn't see Anna as her real grandchild.

That was the final straw for me. I found my husband, Anna, and my other kids, and I told them we had to leave, explaining what my mother said. We probably won't be attending any family gatherings for the foreseeable future either. My mother has gone full scorched earth on Facebook and most family members have taken her side. She says that I ruined her party by leaving and that I destroyed our relationship for someone who isn't even my real child.

My husband is on my side, but he thinks that we shouldn't have left the party since I'd already proven my points. OP, tell your husband to grow a backbone. This is his kid, his biological kid, that you're defending and he's telling you that you're not doing it the right way. He can go pound sand. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom two out of five and your spineless husband 1.5 out of five.

That was r slash mi the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.