rSlash - r/AITA My in-Laws Are Stealing My House!

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

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Am I the bad guy for letting my father cause a huge scene at my engagement party and embarrassing my future mother-in-law? My father has many faults. I am well aware of these and therefore tend to keep our interactions private. I still love him and I've developed a system to keep him from screwing me over. When my fiance asked me to marry him, I said yes. Then I went in privately told my dad about it. We had a nice dinner with my fiance, and that was that. My future mother-in-law wanted to have an engagement party. I was fine with that.

I just requested that she not invite my father. I explained that we had a strained relationship, and that I preferred to keep him at a distance. She agreed. I guess she thought that she knew better than me. She wanted to fix our relationship, and the first step was inviting him to her home for a party with alcohol. When I met my dad for dinner, I specifically chose a restaurant that did not have a liquor license, and we went right after work. His car has a built in breathalyzer to

make it start. I know what would happen otherwise. When I saw my dad there, my stomach flipped. I asked my future mother-in-law what was going on, and she said that a good daughter would want her dad to be there on this important day. I asked her to please make him leave. She said that I was being rude. I went over to my dad and asked him to leave. He promised to behave. He was so happy to be invited. I told my fiance that I might

need to leave in a hurry and he had to come with me when I left. He knows the whole story, so he agreed. My father was fine at the beginning. Then wine came around. I glared at him and shook my head no, but he took some, then more, then more. He started getting happy, but that didn't last. After dinner, there were drinks. As soon as I heard him raise his voice, I asked my fiance to leave. I faked a stomach problem, and we left. The least embarrassing thing he did was piss himself and puke on the lawn. My future mother-in-law is furious. She said that we should have told her that my father has a drinking problem. I said that it wouldn't have been a problem if she hadn't lied to my face about not inviting

him. My father is humiliated that he did this, and I'm just numb. My uncle has no problem controlling my dad. He's a cop, and he's come to several events with my dad where he kept him from drinking. My older brother's wedding, for example, but he lives in another city. He would have been at the wedding. I'm just angry that she lied, and I'm embarrassed, and I'm vinting here because I need someone to tell me that I'm angry that she lied, and I'm embarrassed, and I'm vinting here because I need someone to tell me that I'm not the bad guy for not wanting to tell people my father is like this. Okay OP, no, you're not the bad guy because your father is like this.

Honestly, I think the way you handle this is pretty much perfect. You clearly established boundaries, then when she didn't respect your boundaries, you asked her to please fix it, she didn't, so you asked your dad to fix it, and he didn't, so you left. And that's YOUR fault for some reason? Honestly, this seems like a classic, mess around and find out type scenario. Your future mother-in-law messed around, and she found out. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys.

I'm giving your father, and your future mother-in-law 2 out of 5 bad guys, I'm giving your father, and your future mother-in-law 2 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for not attending my son's wedding and instead spending the evening with his ex-wife? Quick backstory. After graduating high school, my son moved 3 states away for college. At 19, he married a girl he met. I tried convincing him to wait because, personally, I felt that he was too immature to get married. They both dropped out of school and moved back here to his hometown. At 20, they had their first child, a beautiful little girl. 16 months later, my daughter-in-law gave birth to their second child, a little boy.

After the first baby, my wife and I noticed that our daughter-in-law wasn't happy. We both thought that it was postpartum depression. Just after their second child arrived, my son and his wife separated. She would bring the kids over for a visit, and it was then that she began unloading on us. I know there's two sides to every story, but considering how much I know my son, I believed her. I sat my son down numerous times to speak with him regarding his marriage. He refused to take responsibility,

blamed her for everything, even when I directly pointed out where he was a sole problem. They got into counseling, and for a year, things seemed okay on the surface. Our daughter-in-law filed for divorce, and my son, three days later, was on Facebook announcing his new girlfriend.

A month later, they were engaged. It turns out, my son had forced his wife to become a permanent stay-at-home mom after the birth of their first child. Our daughter-in-law, of course, had no other family or friends here, and she knew no one aside from us. She had nowhere to go with two small children. Unbeknownst to our son, me and my wife helped out our daughter-in-law financially and got her on apartments. Before the divorce with our daughter-in-law was even finalized,

we received a wedding invitation for his new wife. I made it clear to my son that I would not be attending, and they would not have my blessing. My wife told our son that I would not be attending and they would not have my blessing. My wife told her son that she would see to it that I would attend. I stood by my decision. I also asked him not to bring his fiance around our house out of respect for the mother of his kids. The wedding happened on February 11th. The night before, my wife gave me the final push. I did not attend. Our daughter also didn't attend for the same reasons. My wife picked up our grandkids, got them dressed, and attended the wedding. My daughter and I decided to spend the evening with his ex. I couldn't imagine

her sitting alone while her kids attended their father's wedding. She was taken a back that I didn't end up attending the wedding. We took her out to distract her. I just wanted her to know that she'll always be considered family to us. My daughter also made a joke that they can drop the inlaw status and just be sisters now. She was very tearfully grateful and I realized just how badly she needed our support specifically on that night. The next morning, my son called to tell me how much of a horrible father I am for not attending his wedding.

A few days later, he caught wind that I spent the wedding evening with his ex. He said that was the ultimate form of betrayal, and further, myself and his sister would have to earn a relationship with him on his terms only. Yeah, this is a really important lesson that the son needs to learn, which is just because he's willing to casually discard his wife and his kids, doesn't mean that you're willing to just casually discard your daughter-in-law and your grandkids. Like, he's criticizing you for being a bad father when, really, you're being a great grandfather. Not a great grandfather, you for being a bad father when really you're being a great grandfather. Not a great grandfather. You're being an exemplary grandfather, I mean. And like, yeah, if the relationship doesn't

work out, it doesn't work out. I'm not saying that he's obligated to stay with his, you know, first wife forever, but I think considering that he got engaged one month after, not even the divorced, like one month while they were still married, I guess. This guy's a mess. OP, I think you're doing a great job with your daughter-in-law. It may be too late for your son to be a good person, but it's not too late for your daughter-in-law and your grandkids. I wish you the best of luck. OP, I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five bad guys.

I'm also giving OP's wife zero out of 5 bad guys because I don't think it's necessarily evil or wrong of her to attend the wedding. The sun, however, gets 3 out of 5 bad guys. Am I the bad guy for calling my mom when my husband refused to listen to me? I'm a 26 year old woman and I recently moved into my first home. I'm also 4 months pregnant with our first baby. The pregnancy has been very hard. I have horrible morning sickness. It reached a really bad point where I passed out and hit my head and my doctor admitted me to the hospital for a week. When I got home, my husband allowed his brother's family to move into two of our three bedrooms. They were evicted, I don't know why.

One of the rooms was my office, and all of my papers were tossed everywhere. The house was a complete wreck. Trash, dirty clothes, used diapers, I started to cry. It was like a light flipped, and my husband was no longer the same. My husband told me, it's not that bad. My reply was, fine, then you should have the house cleaned up before I wake up. Completely exhausted, I fell asleep for four hours. I woke up and went to get a drink of water, but I couldn't because every glass we own is scattered around the house. They didn't clean a single thing. I passively aggressively started to pick up the

dirty dishes and wash them. The following morning, I was trying my best to work, but their kids were crying non-stop. They were banging on the walls and so on. Their mom was in her room for hours ignoring them. When my husband came home, he was upset with me over how I didn't make his brother's wife feel welcome in our home. He wanted me to help with their kids when she was tired. Then, he continued to complain about how nothing was done while he was at work all day in the house. Yes, the same home that he didn't clean.

This led to a fight where I told him, I'm too sick to have company, they need to leave. He replied that they're his family and he won't kick them out. I started to cry again. I was beyond frustrated, exhausted, and I physically couldn't do it anymore. I called my mom asking if I could come stay with her. I told her the whole story in front of my husband, who at this point was completely shocked and angry. Also, I could

tell that he wasn't sure what to do. My mom came with my brothers. I have three older brothers. My mom was super angry and told my husband, since your family can stay, so can we. My mom quickly took charge. I was into bed. My brother started cleaning, complaining loudly at how disgusting my brother-in-law's family is. Along with what a horrible husband my husband is for putting me through this while I'm sick, I got a text message from my mother-in-law calling me a bad guy for not helping my husband clean up the house and putting my brother-in-law in an uncomfortable position by having my mom boss him around. Man, it's actually crazy how much of a contrast there is between

these two families. The husband's family is lazy, entitled, toxic, sexist, noisy. Meanwhile, OP's family is supportive, fair, reasonable, logical. They have her back. Like, OP, how are you matched with this guy? You two seem to come from fundamentally different backgrounds, and I don't see how you tolerate this. Also, OP posted an update which I'm just going to summarize. Basically, the husband only assumed that his brother was going to stay for a couple of nights and then move out, but obviously that didn't happen. He admitted to being super stressed and taking his frustration out on OP, but at this point

it's kind of too late. They separated and now they're going to marriage counseling and individual counseling. The husband asked OP to join her during her doctor appointments and OP agreed to that. Also, one last thing I got to point out it's super funny is the husband's mom calling OP to complain about OP involving her mom. It's like, lady, do you not get it? Do you not understand what you're doing? You're doing the exact same thing you accuse me of. Man, this family is, uh, this family is toxic.

Anyways, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving your husband and his family 3.5 out of five bad guys. Am I the bad guy for not telling my brother how much something was worth until he regifted it to me? I had a boomer great aunt that was a wonderful and loving woman. She grew up in Eastern Europe right after World War II. One of the weird things about her was that she would give her old belongings as gifts for weddings and important birthdays.

I still have the music box that she gave me for my first communion. When we visited other family members, I would always ask to see the pieces that my aunt had given them. A few of my aunts had them displayed in a china cabinet or out somewhere safe. A few had them collecting dust in a box. I made sure they knew that if the day ever came that they wanted to downsize or something, I would appreciate the chance to grab it up for my collection. Some of my cousins took me up on that offer, and I ended up with six extra pieces for my room. When I moved out, I made sure that every single part of my collection was safely wrapped and packed. They're my little treasures. I know, it's weird. Sorry for being so long-winded. I just loved talking about this stuff. I'm about 15 years younger than my oldest brother who knows about my collection.

When he got married, I was 14. At his gift opening, I saw that he got one of her usual gifts. I also saw his wife's face. She was not super grateful. I made sure he knew that I thought that it was beautiful, but I didn't ask him to think of me if he wanted to get rid of it. I thought he might like to pass it on to his kid one day. When my aunt passed away, she left me the last of her collection, which were three pieces

that were part of a set. I got married last September. My niece, my oldest brother's daughter, was my flower girl. At my gift opening, I could almost hear my brother giggle when I opened my gift from them. It was that piece that he had received from our great aunt. He thought that it was super funny. Then he gave us our real gift from our registry. I thanked him profusely for both. He came over the other day, and he saw my collection in my China cabinet that I inherited. He asked me why I was so fascinated

with this stuff. I told him that I thought that it was amazing and that lots of people collected it. He called BS and started looking up the items. The figurine he gave me is worth about $6,700. He said that I was a dick for not telling him what it was worth, that he wants it back. I said that my husband and I were going to give back every piece that I got from family as a gift for a special occasion. I already planned to give that piece to my niece for her first communion, along with a little booklet of information about my aunt and the value of the piece so they can appreciate it.

I know exactly who I got each piece from, and they're all going back to that family. He says that I'm being mean, accepting a gift from him that's worth so much. I asked him if he ever bothered looking up the value of what he was giving to me. He said that he thought that it was like precious moments, or humble. Whatever, I have family treasures to keep safe for the next generation. I know that I would have gotten something awesome for my great aunt if she hadn't passed away before my wedding. OP, not the bad guy here. If anything, I think the way that you're handling these pieces is super sweet. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 bad guys. I'm giving your brother 1 out of 5 bad guys. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast

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