rSlash - r/AITA My In-Laws Nearly Killed My Newborn Daughter

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:08 Newborn 4:16 Comment story 5:05 Leaving the baby 9:31 Family issues 12:33 DD 14:33 Inheritance Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to R-slash Am I the Butthole where OPs in-laws nearly murder her six-week-old baby due to negligence? Am I the Butthole for telling my husband's family that they aren't allowed around my newborn anymore? I'm a 30-year-old woman and I have a six-week-old baby. I just told my husband's entire family that they're not allowed around my kid until she's at least six to 12 months old. I made this decision without my husband, and I don't feel that I'm wrong at all, and I refuse to backpedal for my decision regardless of how it makes him feel.

Long story short, both my mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to see the baby last week, and a few days following this, the baby got sick. She was super congested, fussy, puking, etc. I brought her to her doctors and she's fine, but she has an upper respiratory infection. The doctors told me to continue to breastfeed on demand and they gave her an RSV vaccination. For those who don't know, RSV is a disease that's extremely dangerous to kids, as in lethal. If a newborn baby gets RSV, they have to spend a week in the hospital on a ventilator.

So the fact that the doctor's think that it might be RSV is really troubling here. Anyways, back to the story. Well my husband called his mom when we were leaving the doctors and he had her on speaker phone. He gets her the rundown on what's going on with the baby and that's when she basically tells us that not only was she exposed to the flu by one of her clients but apparently my sister-in-law's husband had COVID the week prior to her coming to see the baby. Neither of them told us this when making the decision to come meet our daughter. In fact, I specifically asked them if either of them were sick

or around anyone who was and they said no. So they lied to me about it and they continued their facade while at my home because my husband's other sister called while my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were at my home and I told her that she couldn't come over because her daughter had the flu and I wasn't chanting it. My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law heard me say this on the phone, and still made it

out like they hadn't been exposed to anything. Needless to say, I confronted them both via the phone, and I was met with, You need to build the baby's immune system. Blah blah blah, it's not a big deal, she'll be fine. So I told them that neither of them were welcome here or around my daughter until she's six to twelve months old, if that, because they're both selfish. My husband is absolutely pissed right now. He says that I'm going to isolate him and make him feel depressed.

He has a history of depression, and that he needs his family. He's a big family man. And he thinks that I'm selfish to do this to him right before our big family holiday celebrations, Thanksgiving and Christmas. I basically told him that I didn't care. Our daughter, not becoming sick, is my top priority. And his family doesn't seem to care about that at all,

so they are not going to be around her. My friends also say that I'm wrong because this should be my husband's decision too. Alright, this is not a complicated story. Infections kill newborns. They do, it happens every day. And based on this story, it sounds like OP's kid might have been sick from two completely separate infections at the same time. So just from like a purely scientific, medical, basic, common sense perspective, you're completely in the right here OP. The health and safety of your newborn has to come first. But then you add in the complete lack of disrespect where you ask them a question,

they lied to you, then they came into your home, lied to you some more, and intentionally endangered your daughter. I'm honestly shocked that everyone is so chill about this except for OP. Yo, a cold can literally kill a six week old baby. You guys have any idea how vulnerable a six week baby is? Man, down in the comments, I don't know too much about RSV. Oh, it's, RSV is bronchialitis.

The comments are filled with story after story of people nearly losing their kid to RSV slash bronchialitis. Like this story from Curiosity killed the net. My baby caught RSV at six weeks and nearly died. I mean, legit, stopped breathing, turned blue, had to be rushed to the hospital and was in pick you on a ventilator for 10 days. Their level of irresponsibility is disgusting, and you are absolutely right to ban them until your baby is stronger. Stick to your guns.

No member of your family is worth potentially losing your child. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. If you do fold, then you deserve a butthole score because you'd be endangering your baby. I'm giving your in-laws 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving your husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes because his number one priority should be protecting his wife and his child. Not. Oh, but I want to hang out on Thanksgiving and eat turkey and have fun with my family. Isn't that the most important thing? Am I the butthole for saying I'll call social services if my sister-in-law keeps leaving her

child at my place? I'm a 35-year-old woman and I have a half-brother, Inzo, who's 40. We're not very close since we were both raised by our respective mothers, but he's always gone out of his way to help me with anything that I've needed. Inzo married his wife, Steph, who's 33 two years ago. Steph has a four-year-old daughter, Alice, with her ex, but she has sole custody. And together, Enzo and Steph have a seven-month-old son, Teddy. I also have a three-year-old daughter. Enzo and Steph moved to the city that I live in when Steph got pregnant. And ever since then, Steph developed a habit of showing up at my apartment building unannounced.

It became a problem, and I talked to both her and Inzo about it, and she stopped until she gave birth. Now she regularly drops by unannounced to leave Alice at my building for babysitting while she has to run errands or something. My poor housekeeper is a wonderful woman, who's had to deal with Alice arriving unexpectedly while I was out, and I felt terrible about it. I've told the concierge to not let Steph up and to tell her that no one is in. But then I'll arrive to Alice just waiting in the lobby, which is not safe. And the concierge has told me that I can't make the concierge

responsible for a child. Steph keeps saying that she only does it when she's desperate, but I don't see how she can be that desperate to run errands at least twice a week. And frankly, I'm not a nanny, so if she's desperate, she needs to hire some help. I've spoken to Enzo about it, and he's always extremely apologetic and says it'll talk to her, and I believe that he does talk to her, but he also works during the day and he can't police where she is at all hours. I reached my breaking point a couple of days ago when I returned from lunch to find Alice at my home, having been dropped off since she had half a day at school.

I apologize profusely to my housekeeper who had spent time playing babysitter and I called Steph but got no answer. I called her several times and then Inzo who was on a business trip and he was distraught over the situation. Steph eventually turned up a couple of hours later and I went ballistic. I said that if she ever leaves Alice at my building again I'll call social services and I'll call them every single time she drops Alice off with me until they do something. Because this is not my job and she's being an irresponsible neglectful

parent. Steph burst into tears and begged me to help out with Alice, but I said no and reminded her that I never said yes to this in the first place, that she just kept dumping her kid here. Steph kept trying to guilt rip me, but I was too exhausted and upset about the situation to be receptive. And eventually, my husband had to tell her to leave. I feel bad because as I said, Enzo has never been anything but the most accommodating person, and maybe treating his wife like that was harsh. But at the same time, I chose to have only one kid because I don't want two kids, and

Steph can't use my house as a daycare. Was I too harsh? Okay, OP, hypothetically speaking, let's be as generous as humanly possible to Steph. Let's just assume that you actually want to take care of Alice. Even then, even in the best case scenario for Alice, Alice is still the butthole because Steph is leaving a 4 year old child alone in a hotel lobby, not a hotel lobby, an apartment complex lobby. I'm guessing since they've got a concierge, this is like a larger metropolitan city like

DC or LA or New York is kind of the vibe I'm getting. That's just a guess though. Leaving a four year old child unattended, especially if this is a large city like New York City, is extremely irresponsible. So in that case, you would become completely justified in calling child protective services. Then if you add in the layers that you don't even want to take care of Alice in the first place, and it becomes even more justifiable. But you don't even need that extra layer of justification because you're already justified.

Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttles. I'm giving Alice 3.5 out of 5 buttles, not so much because she's inconsiderate, mostly because of the whole child endangerment thing. Also I kind of have to wonder, it sounds like OP is on the wealthier side because she lives in a nice hotel with a concierge, and she also has a housekeeper, so I'm wondering if some of what's going on here is still thinking. Well, she has money, so I can just make her fix the problem. Am I the butthole for sending my future sister-in-law to my future mother-in-law's place after she refused to pay for the wedding cake samples that she and her friends ate? I'm a 27-year-old woman.

Me and my fiance, Leo, decided to let my future sister-in-law, Maya, who's 32, stay at our house because she needed space from her husband to do some relationship struggles they're having. Leo and I had gotten wedding cake samples from an expensive bakery specializing in wedding cakes. We plan to test them along with Maya after we finished up some other wedding plans yesterday.

However, I came home from work to see Leo yelling at Maya. The box that the cake samples came in wide open on the living room table and Maya arguing with them. I asked what was happening and Leo angrily told me that while we were both at work, Maya had some friends over and they ended up eating almost all of our cake samples.

I was shocked and asked Maya why the hell she would do something like that. Maya said that she needed to pick me up from what she was going through with her husband and invited her friends over to comfort her, which turned into them eating the cake samples after one of her friends noticed the box in our kitchen counter. My shock turned into anger, and Maya tried to defend herself by saying that it's just a cake. I told her that if it was just a cake, then she should have no problem replacing it. Maya refused, because she said the price was way too expensive for something that tasted awful anyways. Leo

backed me up on saying that Maya had to replace it. And we argue it until I said that if she can't cough up the money, then she'll have to stay at her mother's house, because there is no way I was having someone so disrespectful in my house. Maya thought that I was bluffing until Leo repeated my sentiment and went to go pack her things in a huff. When Maya came back out, I handed her some cash for gas and told her to get the hell out. Presumably, after Maya got to her mom's house, her mother called me to scold me about kicking Maya out, and that I was cruel to do that to her in her time of need.

Also, Maya's mother was irritated that I sent Maya her away, since she had let Maya and she... Because, she had let Maya into the liquor cabinet, and Maya ended up drinking some expensive whiskey that belonged to her husband, so now they're arguing about that. she had let Maya into the liquor cabinet, and Maya ended up drinking some expensive whiskey that belonged to her husband, so now they're arguing about that. Hmm, I wonder who's at fault in this little marital spat between Maya and her husband. If I had to guess, I would say Maya is the one who's doing something wrong because she's a terrible person.

Is this just her MO to steal stuff that's not hers and then start arguments about it? And okay, I gotta point out, not only is stealing someone else's wedding cake samples, scummy, but also it seems to be the case that this woman invited presumably strangers into OP's house without OP knowing about it. So Maya is a double butthole. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm also giving your fiance 0 out of 5 buttholes.

Honestly, it was a relief to see that he was backing you up here. I'm giving Maya 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for drinking on my designated driver nights? Me and my group of close friends goes out to drink reasonably often, and we all take turns being designated driver and a rotation of sorts. The issue for me is that I'm heavily visually impaired. To the point where I can't and never will be able to legally drive, even using bioptics or other assistive technology.

Instead, on my nights to be designated driver, I pay for an Uber taxi for all of us, which other people have said is a completely acceptable option for them. The problem comes with me drinking on my nights. Even though I'm not actually driving, and can't reasonably be expected to, one of my friends expressed that it's not fair that I get drunk on my nights, when everyone else holds back on their nights. In my view, it's not unfair at all. If anyone else wanted to drink on their own night, they're more than welcome to pay for an uber the way that I do every time that it's my night. They just usually choose not to.

I'm no alcoholic, and I'm more than fine going through an event or an outing without drinking or anything, but I also don't see the point in holding back when I reasonably could have a drink. Yeah, OP, you know it's unfair. The fact that you're legally blind. The fact that you can't see and you can't drive because you're impaired. Is it too much to ask that you get to enjoy

one tiny little perk from your disability? It's like, oh, I'm so blind that I can't drive. I can barely read. I have trouble making out people's faces. But on the plus side, when I order an Uber, I get to have a beer. What, why would anyone hold that against you? It's like coming up to a person who's parking in a handicap space and comes out of the car in a wheelchair and then yelling at them that it's unfair

that they get to park close to the building. Yes, you're correct. They get to park close and that sucks because you don't get to park close. But there are handy cap, dude. Come on. Oh, be I'm completely on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five bottles. I'm giving your friend 1.5 out of five bottles. I don't know what his issue is. Am I the butthole for laughing at how my friend used her inheritance?

My friend of about 17 years, Delilah, who's 37, had a very problematic childhood. She barely went to school because her only parent was addicted to substances among many other problems. I don't know how she slipped through the system for so long, but she was pretty much a lost cause by high school because of how little discipline she had. At 23, her dad died, and due to the way her dad died, Delilah won a somewhat large sum of money. Once she got that money, Delilah won a somewhat large sum of money. Once she got that money, Delilah chose to go to a community college.

I guess she discovered that she loved learning and she had so many interests she never knew about that she went to several schools in most of her 20s and came out with several degrees. So from my perspective, I held my tongue in her wasting so much money on school. I guess if it was my money, I'd want to save it or explore and then get a degree, not get a degree first. She now has six degrees, and to me, that's just silly. The real kicker is that my husband is an engineer and makes more than she does, despite

all their side jobs and projects. Well, we were visiting her, and she mentioned that she wanted to study history and maybe take a class or two online for the fun of it. I laughed and asked if any of her inheritance was still even left. She said that shouldn't be my concern. I admitted that it was ridiculous. She could have just bought a nice house with that money instead of blowing it on degrees that she doesn't even use.

She told me that all of her degrees served a purpose, that she loves what she does now, and she loves learning because she was deprived of it as a child. She told me that she wasn't going to defend herself to someone who didn't grow up in a similar situation. My husband told her to calm down. Okay, now it's awkward, and I'm not sure if I need to apologize or not. Opie, I can't tell if you're jealous or if you're so cold and calculating that you can't even wrap your head around the idea that sometimes people just want to spend money on things that they like instead of practical, logical decisions.

Like, how is this any worse than spending money on a hobby? Or, as you said, spending money to go explore. There's no real reason to explore other than you find it fun, but she finds this fun, so what's the big deal? Here's the Butthole OP. You sound like a super judgy friend. I'm giving you two out of five buttholes, I'm giving Delilah zero out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.