rSlash - r/AITA My Mother-in-Law Broke In & Stole My Furniture

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:08 Furniture 2:05 Coffee 5:59 Dirty carpet 9:34 Cut off 12:57 Surprise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, you call 1866533 or visit Comex Ontario.ca. Welcome to R. slash Am I the Butthole, where a family member breaks into O.P.'s house and gives away all of their furniture. Am I the butthole for banning a relative from our house right after they donated our furniture while we were away from home? I'm still shaking while typing this. My wife, Paula, and I just got back from a trip. It was our first time away since our twin daughters were born. We gave my mother-in-law, Hakiko, a spare key just to check on things if necessary.

My wife Paula is sentimental. When her grandmother passed away, she left my wife two hand-carved mahogany pieces, a desk, and a vanity. They were Paula's absolute favorite things. We walked in yesterday and the room was empty. Hakiko was there, all smiles, saying she made a surprise for us by getting rid of that old, dusty junk to give us a modern look, loll. She replaced them with some cheap, flat-pack furniture. She literally gave away Paula's inheritance without asking. I told her to leave and to give me the keys.

I changed the locks today. Paula has been in tears. Now, the rest of the family is calling me abusive and controlling for isolating Paula from her mother, Hekiko over some old piece of junk wood. They say that Heikko's heart was in the right place and that I'm being a butthole for banning a grandmother from seeing her grandkid over furniture. My wife is on my side. She agrees with the ban, but the constant guilt from her family is making me feel like a monster. Am I the butthole? The top four comments down below are all people suggesting O.P., call the cops, and I agree.

This is straight up theft, and the best way to get these pieces of furniture back is to get the cops to force Heiko to say who she gave it to, and then go get your furniture back. O.P., you are clearly not the butthole. I don't even know why. you bothered boasting this on Reddit. This is a rock solid 0 out of 5 butthole score. I'm giving Hakiko 2.5 out of 5 butt holes. Maybe 3? Am I the butthole for refusing to clean the coffee machine at work? I work in a space with about 20 co-workers. We share a break room and the coffee amenities that are in it. That includes a fancy coffee machine, a lot of mugs, and a dishwasher for said mugs. The coffee machine needs to be cleaned daily so that the milk inside doesn't curdle overnight. This means running the cleaning cycle and opening the machine to wash some of the

individual components inside. The office has a weekly rotation for the coffee cleaning duty. Managers are exempt from that duty, so the common worker like me is typically in charge of cleaning the coffee machine for a week every few months. On top of that, everyone leaves their dirty mugs in the kitchen sink, and the person on rotation is expected to load and unload the dishwasher multiple times a day so that everyone has clean mugs at all times. On days when the managers have business visitors, this can add up to a lot of mugs to cater to the visitor's coffee needs. I understand that the coffee machine and mugs are a common amenity, and I agree that if you use them, you should contribute. That said, I do not drink coffee. It's a well-known fact among my coworkers that I

dislike coffee. They even joke about it. I don't use the coffee machine, be it for coffee, hot chocolate, or even hot water. I don't even use the mugs. I prefer drinking juices, sodas, or water that I bring with me every morning in my own containers. I ask to be kept off the cleaning rotation, since I don't use the coffee machine and most likely never will. I find it a bit ridiculous to only touch the coffee machine to clean it, and to be asked to clean after everyone for something I'll never use. My coworkers are split on that matter. Some agree with me. Others say that I should contribute to living in society regardless and do it to keep the peace. I'd argue that they have a vested interest in me participating so they can clean less often. I'm aware this is just a coffee machine,

and I'd be cleaning it for just a week every few months, but the principle of it bothers me. This post has about 8,000 upvotes, and the top comment has 9,000 upvotes, so I will read that. This seems unfair to me. Managers being excused offends me, not the butthole. I'm going to tell you a story. I'm a pretty senior guy. I have 1,200 people working for me. I get in early every day. It's the way my circadian rhythm works. I check email, review my calendar, work for a bit. Around 8, I make a loop of the coffee stations in my building. My intent is to be accessible. I learn a lot, and I have a chance to be proactive and help my staff be productive with fewer emergencies. While I'm there, I wipe down counters, make coffee, check inventory, and generally tidy up.

A staff member once shared a discussion with a new employee. New guy. Why does everyone talk with the coffee guy? Staff. He's your boss? Julie's my boss. Dave is Julie's boss's boss. Oh.

Sometimes I'm traveling or have another conflict. The managers who work for me fill in on coffee duty. I never asked anyone. They figured it out. Our performance is good. Retention is good. My people know that I'll do anything I ask them to do and respect their work. I learned this 40 years ago from good bosses. This reminds me, I also once watched a YouTube video about a guy who runs a business in Japan. And this business owner rents out a studio and he has like,

I want to say like four employees. And every morning he goes to the studio and cleans it to prepare for his employees to arrive. And one of the things he does is he scrubs the toilet. That part just really stuck out to me because it shows that's the attitude of someone who really cares about their employees. And when the boss serves the employees, you have a comfortable, happy working environment. But when the employees serve the boss, that can lead to toxic working environments. Am I the butthole for purposefully dumping a bowl full of red punch onto my friend's white carpet? I'm a 35-year-old guy, and I recently got back together with my ex-husband, Jay, who's 37, after years of divorce. Our divorce was messy. What I will mention is that Jay is an alcoholic. He's been sober for

years now, and it was how I knew that he was ready to make a change, and it was also the reason for our split. I've long since explained this to all my friends and family, and I thought they were fine with it. Last week, we were invited to a party that my friend Addie, whose 31, was hosting. I met Addie when Jay and I were separated, and we bonded due to our similar circumstances. Her ex-husbanded was addicted to drugs and she left him for it. She was the last friend to accept Jay and I getting back together, but I thought she had come around. We got there and it was maybe 90% people that we didn't know.

Addy greeted us and when she did, she made sure to say that it was a dry party, which Jay thanked her for. She also made sure to point out the punch bowl that she had worked all day on and said that it was her best batch yet. I'm allergic to pineapple, so I didn't have any, but Jay loves it so he kept getting more. We were there for about an hour.

I'd lost track of Jay for a bit, but I knew something was wrong when I saw him stumbling towards me, upset. He leaned in close and muttered, O-P, I think there's wine or something in this. I quickly and quietly escorted him out and told him to wait in the car. I went back in and asked Addie,

who was standing by the punch bowl, why she lied about the punch since Jay was tipsy. She looked me in the eyes before saying, I didn't add anything to it. Maybe he brought his own with this smarmy, shit-eating grin on her face. I kept getting angrier and angrier with her, as she kept denying she did anything, but smiling wider and wider.

And after a certain point, the party had stopped and we were yelling. Eventually, she said something along the lines of, O.P., this is what happens when you trust addicts. You should have known better. In that moment, I saw, saw red, and I grabbed the punchbowl and very deliberately poured it all over this beautiful white carpet. Addy kept screaming, but I didn't waste another second in there and went back to the car where Jay was sitting and crying. Since then, I've been keeping a very close eye on Jay. He's

been crying when he thinks that I can't hear and keeps looking at his sobriety chip. He didn't go to his AA meeting a few days ago, which I talked to him about, and he agreed to go next time if I came with him for moral support. He has, thankfully, not had any more to drink. Since then, people have been blowing up my phone, most of all, Addie. She's demanding I pay her back the 500 bucks that it cost her for the rug. I have unknown numbers from the people at the party texting me, calling me dramatic, among other things. I'm beginning to wonder if I went too far messing up her rug. Am I the butthole? This feels like a crime? I don't know if it actually qualifies, but it should be. This should fall in the same category as like maybe a salt or whatever it is when you poison someone with a non-lethal poison.

Addy straight up belongs in jail. O.P., if anything, you underreacted here. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Addie who. I'm giving Addy 2.5. This is tough. 2.5 to 3.5 out of five buttholes. I'm not exactly sure where she lands.

Am I the butthole for cutting off my sister financially after finding out that her unemployed boyfriend is benefiting from my money? My sister, who's 23, works as a cashier and earns barely above the minimum wage in our state. So I, a 30-year-old guy, have been supporting her financially. I pay half her rent and her utilities and regularly send extra money for things like groceries or hair appointments or whatever she needs money for. I never really minded because I earn about four times what she does. About five months ago, she started asking for money much more off She always had a reason, and I sent her money without question, because I want her to feel like I'll always help her out. Then, last week, I ran into her at a club with a guy, Jake, who's 27, and she introduced him as her boyfriend.

When I asked how long they'd been together, she said a few months, which surprised me since I knew nothing about it. She got evasive and annoyed when I asked her more questions. That made me uneasy. I just wanted to make sure my sister was with someone decent, you know? So I called one of her friends the next day and asked about Jake. The friend did not have a high opinion of Jake. She told me that Jake has been basically unemployed for over two years because he can't keep a job. He moved in with my sister four months ago after they'd been only dating for a month.

He stays home while my sister goes to work and isn't really doing much to get a job. I knew nothing about this. I've been paying rent for an apartment that he lives in without contributing anything. I also realized that my sister's increased requests for money lined up with when he moved in with her, which means most of it has probably been going to him. I confronted my sister about it. She said that she didn't tell me about the relationship because it was still developing. I told her that I would stop covering half the rent going forward,

since she has a roommate who should pay the other half. I'll still pay the utilities, but I'm cutting back on any extra cash. She got upset and asked how she's supposed to make her. on her income. I pointed out that she now has a partner. Surely he can subsidize. She told me that he doesn't have a job. I responded that maybe it was time that he got serious about finding one. I made it clear that I didn't trust the guy. Someone being comfortable depending on her so early in a relationship felt like he was taking advantage. She accused me of being judgmental, saying that he's just going through a rough patch and needs her support until he can get back up. She also,

also accused me of trying to control her life because I help her out financially and I have no right to meddle in her personal life. We haven't spoken for days and now I feel conflicted. I genuinely believe that he's using her and she's using my support to enable it. I'm not trying to control her life but I don't like her being taken advantage of. Am I the butthole? O.P., your sister is dating a hobo-sexual who is clearly using her for free rent and free food and free utilities, which means your sister is using you for free money, which effectively means the hobosexual is using you for free money. So you're 100% justified here, OP. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even pay the utilities. You get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister one out of five

buttholes. Am I the butthole for skipping my own surprise birthday party once I found out it wasn't really for me? I've never been big on birthdays. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate them. I just prefer something low-key. Dinner with my closest friends, maybe watch a film, something small, basically. Everyone close to me knows this, especially my sister, Maya, who loves big gestures, and believes every birthday or achievement needs balloons and a theme, and much, much more. Two weeks before my birthday, Maya started acting strange. She kept asking me if I'd be free this Saturday, and acted weirdly when I asked why. I suspected that she was up to something, so I told her, again, that I didn't want a party. She just laughed and said that as per usual, I was being no fun.

A couple of nights ago, a few nights before my birthday, one of my mutual friends let it slip about it being a party. She mentioned what she was wearing. Anyways, turns out the whole family was invited and it was at our parents' house. Some co-workers were also invited, but here's the kicker, my effing ex. For context, me and my ex broke up about two months ago. It ended pretty badly. No abuse or cheating, but it was not a pleasant ending. I have made it pretty clear to everyone in my life that I want no contact. Maya knows this. However, she's told me multiple times that I should just get over the whole situation

because he's a nice guy and that he's been part of all of our lives for years. The first thing I did was call Maya demanding answers, and she didn't deny it. She just said that we could finally talk it all out. She admitted that she hadn't just thrown this party from my birthday. but also so everyone could see my ex again and we could fix things between us. She literally said to me that I would thank her later. I was mad. I said to her that she had no right,

that I would have been ambushed into the situation on my birthday. And that was after I had specifically said that I didn't want a party. She just said that I was dramatic and bloody ungrateful, that she had this whole thing planned because I wouldn't find better and it was a good gift. She said everyone had gifts and traveled, that everyone was excited. So yesterday, my birthday, I completely powered off my phone and didn't let anyone know other than my best friend. So we went out for lunch and went on a walk together. We ended up having a great day.

When I finally got home, I turned my phone on and it was mental. Maya was fuming, people were disappointed, people even said I embarrassed Maya. Maya is now basically saying that I ruined the whole party and made it all about me. It was literally my birthday. She says she did it out of a good place in her heart and that I should at least apologize for not showing up and letting people know. So am I the butthole? O.P., it's like that song.

It's my party and I can cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to. Or in this case, it's my party and I can not show up if I want to. Not show up, not show up if I want to. And that's basically how it goes. You know, it's your birthday party. I mean, you didn't plan it or want it, but it's for you. So if you don't want to come, that's, you know, entirely. up to you. You didn't even want to have the party in the first place. O.B., I'm giving you zero out of five

buttholes. Maya needs to learn some boundaries, and she gets one out of five buttholes. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.