rSlash - r/AITA My Niece Destroyed My $20,000 Coat

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

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These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash am I the butthole where a teenage son calls his black stepdad the in-word Am I the butthole for grounding my 16 year old son for a month after he called his stepdad a slur? I'm a 43 year old guy and my son is 16. I'm divorced and my ex remarried recently. My ex-wife's new husband Jonathan is black. Meanwhile, me and her are white. He and my ex-wife are now expecting a baby together. Jonathan also has two teenage boys himself. My ex and I share custody, but our son spends most of his time at my place because he has more room in privacy here. Last weekend he was at his moms, and on Sunday he called me all upset

saying to come pick him up. I rushed over there, and I found out that he got into a fight with Jonathan over some chores, and Jonathan locked him out of the wifi and banned him from video games until he did his chores. That's exactly how me and my ex discipline are sun. More long-term and serious punishments are of course decided between my ex and I, but the whole no video games today type of thing is totally fine for Jonathan to do. My ex and Jonathan then told me that my son got super upset over this punishment and told Jonathan to f off. Jonathan then told my son to stop talking like that, to which my son replied, You and your sons ruined my life, so you don't get to tell me what to do.

I won't take orders from an inward anyway. I asked my son if this was all true, and he said yes. He actually called him the inward,, well, isn't it true? I lost it and told my son that he's grounded for the whole month of December. My ex agreed. He's obviously annoyed and angry because he has tons of plans with his friends. He said that I'm overreacting to one word and that I'm being unfair. My brother and mom agree with my son and are saying the punishment doesn't

fit the crime. Am I the butthole? Yo, the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Alright, we found the racist and the family people. Okay, if I found out that my kid called a black person the inward to their face, one month grounding would be like the automatic minimum. Like it's honestly hard to understate the consequences of that word. It's crushing in both ways because it devastates the recipient who hears it, because it's the single most racist thing you could say to someone. And on top of that, from like a parenting perspective, OP has an obligation to protect his son.

If he just thinks it's okay to throw out the in-, I mean, that's a life-fruiting word. You lose your job over throwing that word out. You lose relationships over throwing that word out. Nowadays, in the age of social media, if you drop an N bomb and someone records it, that could stick with you for the rest of your life. This is a lesson that this kid needs to learn. So, yeah, I don't think one month is enough OP.

I'd be thinking like probably multiple months, I'd probably ban his phone for like six months, I'd ban video game for six months, I'd be thinking maybe like some community service. Clearly he doesn't seem penitent or regretful or amorousful at all. And this is a problem. This is a lesson that this kid needs to learn. And like, here's a

thought. Here's a thought. What if what if like we just said that since OP and his ex wife agreed on the punishment, then the brother and OP's mom don't get to say, what what if we just said that? Maybe, maybe it doesn't actually matter what OP's brother and OP's mom have to say because they're not the parents. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your ex-wife and Jonathan also 0 out of 5 buttholes. Honestly, I think that the way that all 3 of you handled the situation is pretty reasonable. The 3 of you removed your son from the situation so that he could cool down and then you all agreed on a punishment and enforced it.

This is pretty good parenting if you ask me. In fact, I would even go so far as to say that you'd be a butthole if you didn't punish him. If you just let your son get away with talking to your ex-wife's husband like that, then you would be a super toxic ex and a super toxic father. Am I the butthole for calling out my step-family's dirty laundry at Thanksgiving after they criticized me for being unmarried? I'm still getting flack from my family over this, so it's possible that I might be a bit of a butthole here. I'm a 29 year old woman,

and the players in this story are my mom, my stepdad, and my four step siblings, a 35 year old brother, a 37 year old brother, a 40 year old sister, and a 42 year old brother. I'm the black sheep, and that I'm the only one in my family who's not married with kids, but that's my preference. I love living alone, I don't want kids, and having a partner just isn't that important

to me. My family's been asking me when I'm going to get a boyfriend and settle down since I was 19, and my answer has always been, ew, never. I was going to skip Thanksgiving, but my mom insisted that she wanted everyone home this year of possible, so I went. It was the usual drill. My youngest stepbrother and his wife are having another kid, so that was some big announcement.

Everything was fine until around the end of dinner, when one of my step sister-in-law's asked if I make just to have kids since I'm almost 30 and time is running out. I laughed and said, nah, I'm good. That led to one of my stepbrothers saying that every family needs an old maiden aunt and some other comments that I didn't appreciate it. I said, let's move on, but my mom said, it weird just worried about you. This is where I might be the butthole. I know all the family's dirt, so I said, well, I'm the only person at this table who's not an alcoholic, a cheater, or constantly broke because I have more kids than I can afford well, I'm the only person at this table who's not an alcoholic, a cheater, or

constantly broke because I have more kids than I can afford, so I'm not the one to worry about. And that's how I brought things giving to a dead halt. And no one said a thing for the rest of dinner, but my texts are radioactive still. I feel like I probably crossed the line, and my mom says that this has caused a lot of problems among the siblings. But also, they started it. Yeah, exactly OP, they started it, you finished it.

You made life choices, they didn't respect it, and they constantly criticized you for them. So now, they make life choices, and you criticize them for it. You're just giving them the exact same energy that they're giving you. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving everyone else who criticized you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for taking my niece to court over a coat? I'm a 28 year old woman who has a 16 year old niece. She's my only sister's only child.

Two years ago, I married a very wealthy man, and because of the pandemic, last Christmas was my first time with my in-laws. My mother-in-law gave me a coat that's worth more than $20,000. I saw her wearing it, asked her where she bought it, and she said that it would be my Christmas gift from her. I didn't know how much it was. I knew that it was expensive, but I thought maybe $3,000 at most. I was visiting my sister last January when my niece saw it. She googled the brand and showed me how much it really was. I won't lie, I didn't wear it after that because I was afraid of ruining it.

Last week I wore it while visiting my sister. While I was putting my coat on to leave, I felt something go splat on my back. Then my niece started cackling and the smell of paint hit me. I was so pissed off and my niece wasn't apologetic at all. Her mom screamed at her and said that she was grounded. Then my sister said that she would pay for dry cleaning. While I was in my car, still in shock by the way, I got an alert on my phone that my niece posted a reel and it was of her doing this prank on me. She said, I'm gonna hit my aunt's $20,000 coat with the paint filled balloon to see how

she reacts. I saved it on my phone, sent it to her mom, and told her that a week's grounding isn't enough. She didn't reply, but I saw that my niece took it down, after it got like 5 views. The next day, I found out that my coat can't be saved, so I called my sister and told her that her daughter has to pay it back. Well we got into an argument and she said that they won't be paying it back and if I wanted a new one I should get my husband to buy it for me.

I think that they should pay for it and by the way they can afford it. In my opinion they should just sell their niece's car and pay me back my money. We didn't reach an agreement, so I told her that I'd be suing, and I reminded her that I have video evidence that her daughter, A, did it on purpose for online cloud, and B, knew exactly how expensive it was. People in my life aren't being objective at all. I have some people calling me the butthole, and some people calling them the butthole for not buying me a new one. And some are so obsessed with the price of the code that they're calling me a butthole for simply owning it and wanting a new

one. So am I the butthole? Okay, so first off, the cost of the code is completely irrelevant. If this was like a $20,000 car and she drove it off a cliff, you wouldn't have people arguing. You wouldn't have people saying, oh well, she's your niece, so you have to be apologetic, or you have a $20,000 car, I can't believe you would own something so expensive. Nah, man, if the niece drove a $20,000 car off a cliff, then everyone would say that she had to pay back the car. The fact that it's a coat is no difference. Also, like on top of that, the money isn't really the problem.

The problem here is that OP's mother-in-law gave her a very, very valuable gift, and the fact that it got ruined almost immediately after she got the gift is kind of insulting to the mother-in-law. Like the mother-in-law would think, well, she doesn't really respect my gift after I gave it to her enough to take care of it, so does she really even value me? So, in my opinion, yeah, even though a $20,000 coat is pretty lavish, replacing the coat could potentially be really important in maintaining her relationship with her in-law. Anyways, I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving the niece 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. And then OP posted an update. When my husband got home, I told him what happened and showed him the video.

He asked me if I spoke with my brother-in-law, as in my sister's husband, and I said no. All my conversations were with my sister. He said that he'd take care of it. My husband talked to my brother-in-law, told him exactly what happened, and showed him the prank video. Then he told him the coat was insured, and he'd be filing a claim and submitting the video, and we might have to file charges for the claim. He assured my brother-in-law that we'd be dropping the charges.

We don't want to send our niece to jail. Then he told my brother-in-law that one of two things would happen. After our insurance pays us, they could come after them. If my brother-in-law's insurance pays, then their premium would skyrocket. Option 2 is the insurance company might sue them and might get a lien on their house. My brother-in-law asked if there was a way that he could pay us back without involving insurance. My husband told him that that's what we wanted to do in the first place, but that my sister insisted on not paying us back. Apparently, my brother-in-law didn't even know about this,

and he was very pissed off at what my niece did and my sister's response. So, they came up with a solution. They're going to sell my niece's car. And if that doesn't cover the cost of the code, then she'll have to get a job and pay me her paycheck until it's paid off. Also, she's grounded for the rest of the school year. This punishment to the H.E.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.I.K.K.I.K.K.I.K.I. really matter. Outside of that though, I think the way that OPs husband and their brother-in-law both handled the situation were phenomenal. I'm giving each of them zero out of five buttles. Am I the buttole for calling my husband unreasonable for cancelling the holiday trip just because me and the kids couldn't help them in an emergency? My husband and I have been together for four years. I have two kids, a 17-year-old boy and a 19-year-old girl and their half-brother is three years old.

This past week, my husband's father had a medical emergency and he wanted someone to watch our son. He asked my older son and he refused because he was going out with friends. He also asked my daughter, but she locked herself in a room to study. I was at the restaurant with my brother meeting his girlfriend for the first time. My husband ended up taking our son with him to the hospital and my husband's mother watched him from there. He came home and was lashing out at everybody, calling us selfish and unfeeling.

I tried to explain that the kids were just busy, but he told me to get the F out with that BS because my older son could have stopped to hang out and watched his brother, and my daughter could have watched her brother while studying instead of locking herself in her room. He scolded me as well, but I told him that I couldn't leave lunch with my brother since he was visiting town and this was my only chance to meet his new girlfriend. He yelled some more, then told us that he was cancelling the family holiday trip for Christmas this year.

The two older kids were upset and said that it was unfair. I called him unreasonable to cancel the trip and punish the kids, and possibly even me like that. Later, he refused to discuss it. Now, me and the kids aren't speaking to him, and he's saying good riddance. Then, O.P. Posts in an update, My husband just told me that he'll be spending Christmas with his family, saying that he needs to be around his dad anyways. The kid said they'll just go to their dad since they and my husband aren't talking. Neither of the kids are happy with how things turned out. So, I feel like things have gotten out of hand and the problem got bigger. He's

now choosing to basically abandon us on Christmas and also keep our son away from me and his siblings. Hmm, let's do a quiz. Let's do a poll. You guys want to do a vote? Which of the following is more important? A medical emergency where someone is literally in the hospital or having lunch with your brother? Like this is really basic, basic stuff.

If this guy's father is in the hospital, then this could potentially mean that this is his last moment to see his father alive. And obviously he doesn't want to take his son because he could be bawling, he could be crying, he could be emotionally breaking down at the loss of his father. And to make matters worse, that's the three year old grandfather. O.P. is your three year old emotionally equipped to handle seeing his grandfather potentially die or grievously injured at the hospital? Probably not, right?

My God, OP, you and your kids are just heartless! I don't blame your husband for abandoning you and your kids during Christmas. If you were my wife and you did this to me, I'd also be looking at you differently. OP, I'm giving your two teenage kids 3.5 out of 5 buttholes for being completely heartless. OP, I'm giving you 4.5 out of 5 buttholes for completely abandoning your husband when he needed you most. But hey, at least you got to have lunch and meet your brother's girlfriend. I don't know if what happened in this story quite crosses over into divorced territory, but I do feel like this is moving along that path. It's like

a crack in the dam, you know what I mean? The dam isn't broken yet, it can be repaired, but this is a pretty serious crack in the foundation that I think OP or the husband will have to work to repair. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new will have to work to repair. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.