rSlash - r/AITA My Parents Forgot I Existed

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

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are slash am I the butthole where OP's parents literally forget that she exists. Am I the butthole for exposing my parents when they forgot about me on their wedding? So I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I was recently forgotten about on the day of my parents' wedding. My parents have been together for about 20 years, but they never actually got married. That's why when my dad, who's 50, proposed to my mother who's 49 on their anniversary, everyone, including me, was elated and celebrated the occasion with great joy. This happened all the way back in February. They immediately jumped into wedding planning, deciding very early on on a small event in Hawaii

with just the closest family and friends for an intimate ceremony. Almost immediately, my mother asked my sister, who's 25, to be her maid of honor, and my dad asked my brother, who's 22, to be his groomsman. I wasn't surprised or offended by this. My sister's always been a mommy's girl, and they both enjoy spending time with each other, shopping and socializing, so they had a very close bond, and the same goes from my father and brother. They always played football together and messed around with cars. My father even trained my brother's team for a while in middle school.

That had always left me as the odd one else. I tried to insert myself in my family's hobbies and groups that they had within our home, but was always rebuffed. Maybe they could sense that my interest in their activities wasn't all that genuine, or maybe they just didn't care. Either way, I was used to being the last and least important member of my family. Mom had sis, dad had bro, and my parents had each other, and my two siblings were closer to each other than they ever were to me, leaving me very lonely and isolated in my own home. During the preparation for the wedding initially, it was suggested that I be the flower girl,

But my sister thought that role would be more appropriate for her three-year-old daughter, so that idea was quickly tossed away. Later on, my maternal grandmother suggested that I might read a poem or do a little bit of a speech during the ceremony. But both my parents refused because they wanted the wedding to be low-key, and they didn't think a cheesy and sappy speech would fit their vision. I was still okay with all of this, even though it hurt to know that I would be the only member of the family to not act be part of the wedding party or have any role at all on the day. As the day approached, my parents and siblings got more and more caught up in all the wedding planning. I noticed that my mom didn't invite me dress shopping and that whenever they would have discussed about the venue or the event,

I was left out. So I decided to see if they would realize that I wasn't being involved at all and I kept quiet, waiting for them to ask me something, anything about the wedding. But that never happened. The wedding was set for three weeks ago, the end of August. The day before departure, my mother casually asked if I had my luggage ready because we couldn't be late to the airport. I bluntly told her that I hadn't prepared anything. She got confused for a second and then snapped at me for not being prepared. I then asked her if I even had a ticket and her face went pale. Yep, they hadn't even bought a ticket and I'm not even sure if I had a room or any accommodations once there, even though I was the only person in my family without a stable

income. I work as a part-time babysitter. My parents had bought first-class tickets for my siblings and the couple of other friends that were attending the wedding, but they'd forgotten about me. My mom told me not to make a big deal out of it, and that they can just find me a low-cost ticket last minute from a cheap airline. But I just replied by asking her, then what? Do I even have a dress for the ceremony? My mom went with my sister to buy hers and all the other female guest dresses months ago, but I wasn't included. That's when my father came in and just told me to suck it up, and that I've never been a girly girl, so I could just wear whatever. I got mad at this, because even though I'm not the most feminine girl on the planet, I would have loved to be included

in such an important part of my parents' wedding. And it was about the fact that I was excluded for literally everything that had been going on for months. We all got into a fight with them calling me entitled and accusing me of making myself small intentionally so they would forget me. Like that's a valid excuse for ignoring a child. They ended up telling me that if I was going to keep this attitude, I might as well skip the whole thing altogether, to which I responded with a defiant, fine, and went to my room. Next morning, they all left for Hawaii without me. The ceremony was really small, but they all posted loads of pictures on Instagram and Facebook about how perfect and magical that whole week was being.

People quickly realized that I wasn't in any of the photos and asked my parents why. To which they replied that unfortunately I'd caught COVID before the trip and had to stay behind. My blood boiled at this. I don't know why this was the straw that broke the camel's back for me, but it was. I decided to take a COVID test and published a picture

of myself holding the negative test and captioned it, not sick at all, just forgotten. I tagged everyone that had questioned my absence from the trip in the wedding in the picture, and for good measure, also every person invited. I also wrote in the comments about how my parents had literally forgotten about anything to do with me until the day before leaving, and how they actually uninvited me. Most people were on my side, and others couldn't believe it, and thought there must be something more to the story than what I was saying. But one thing is for certain, I completely ruined my parents' wedding, and their day was overshadowed by my confession. At first, I felt quite satisfied

with myself for standing up on my own. But after a barrage of messages from my family calling me every name in the book, and later, when they came back, them furiously attacking me from my immature actions and my spoiled behavior, my pride deflated quickly, and I began to feel awful. I hate my family, and I hate being in this house, but I'm a minor and can't leave just yet. I do feel like I could have handled the situation better, though, and now I feel so depressed that I'm second-guessing everything I did, from not speaking up before to the way that I exposed them. I also feel guilty for the lack of connection between all of my family and me, and maybe I could have done more? So am I the butthole for ruining my parents' wedding when they

forgot about me. Then OP posted three updates, which I'm not going to read because if I read them all, it'd be like 30 minutes long of just pure updates and honestly not a lot happened. I don't want to bore you guys with unnecessary details, so I'll just read the good parts. O.P. called her grandma, who also didn't attend the wedding because she has mobility issues, and she and her grandma basically came to the same conclusion. It's impossible to forget about a child, which means it had to have been intentional. On the phone call, O.P. asked her grandma if O.P. was an affair baby, but grandma affirms that, no, she wasn't. O.P. cried, the grandma comforted her, and together they planned their next steps. Then, O.P., her grandma, and a sympathetic uncle, all plan O.P.'s

exit strategy, which is to live with grandma until she turns 18. I'll read this update. In the afternoon, we grabbed a cab and went to my house. My parents were extremely surprised to see. see my grandma and uncle with me when I entered the door. But before they could say anything, my grandma told me to go pack all my essentials while they talked to them. I rushed upstairs and I could hear my grandma and uncle berating my parents for all they'd put me through. At first, I also heard my parents trying to defend themselves, but eventually they quieted down. When I came downstairs with two suitcases in my backpack full to the brim with everything important that I had in my room, they were all in the living room. My father was

beat red, and my mother was sobbing like a child. And when she saw me, she extended her arms in my direction, saying that she was sorry, but I just said, save it, with the coldest tone I could muster. And my dad said that I didn't have to be a jerk, to which both my uncle and grandma told him to shut up. I left the house at that moment and waited for the cab outside. In the hotel, my grandma reassured me that I wouldn't have to go back to them, and that they told her my college tuition was never in question for them, and they had planned to throw me an extravagant birthday party to make up for the wedding mess, and were going to give me a car as an apology for everything. But my grandma was having none of that BS, because it was pretty obvious to her they were

only trying to save face, and they were coming up with things on the fly, and that a party and a car wouldn't make up for all that they've put me through. Apparently, the moment that broke my mother was when she told her that I had even questioned my paternity, and she started crying then, but my grandma told her, what else could they expect when they had excluded me repeatedly from all-family events since I was a child? So it seems like O.P.'s parents just straight up don't like her arbitrarily. After that, O.P. successfully moves out and turns 18. She also gradually reconnected with her brother, who always treated O.P. nicely, though he was neglectful of O.P. and enjoyed the parents' favoritism. I'll continue to read the update. I asked him once how my parents

were doing, and he told me that ever since I left, he himself has limited a lot of contact with them, and he blames them for the whole situation. Whereas my sister insists that I'm being selfish and causing pain on my parents because I'm the problem. Not sure how that works. My parents also seem to have been somewhat ostracized by many of their friends after news of what happened to me got out. But according to my brother, they're constantly asking for me, and are now saying to anyone that might listen that they messed up, and they don't blame me for my actions. But they want to rectify their mistakes. I don't know if I buy this act, and I feel like they know that now the best thing they can do for their reputation is to try to put the ball in my court in regards to reconciliation. That way, they can look like they've done their parts.

I'm now more than ever focused on my future, and I don't really want to think of them. I go to therapy, and I'm trying to grow and embrace the love of my newfound support system. My friend, her family, my grandma, my uncles and cousins, and maybe my brother. O.P., this post made my blood boil. I really feel awful for you. Your parents are disgusting people, your sister included. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents four out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for telling my sister that she wasn't always the chosen one? Before my brothers and I were born, my mom had a child, Penny, with an old boyfriend. Her boyfriend, slash Penny's biological dad, didn't stick around. My mom then met my dad when Penny was three and they got married. My dad adopted Penny. My mom then went on to have me and my brothers with our dad. Growing up, Penny was always the apple of my dad's eye. He gave all of us attention, but he always went out of his way to make it equal.

Around the time that Penny entered her teens, Penny would make the joke, Dad was stuck with you guys, but he chose me. Or refer to herself as the Chosen One. My brothers and parents always thought that it was hilarious. I thought that it was obnoxious. If our brothers and I were ever discussing what traits we got or didn't get from my dad, Penny would break in with, I didn't get anything from him except his last name because I'm the chosen one.

Now we're all adults, and Penny still trots that out from time to time. Recently, it came up when my siblings and I were out with our partners for drinks. One of my brothers has a newish girlfriend, so she wasn't aware of Penny's story. Penny was telling it, shoving it in that she's the chosen one. I admit I got a little drunk and said, chosen by our dad, but you weren't chosen by your first dad, huh? Penny got a hurt look on her face. My brothers told me that was uncalled for.

Even the new girlfriend was looking at me like I was a douche. I said this story is just getting old. We've all heard it, and it's a little ridiculous. My boyfriend ended up calling us an Uber and getting me out of there. Well, of course, words gotten back to our parents, and they're pissed at me, saying I was rude. I said Penny was just being obnoxious. Am I the butthole? Look, I think it's very reasonable for Penny to feel a little bit of insecurity given being abandoned by her father, and that's manifesting as, in my opinion, not a cruel joke at all. It's an innocent, semi-funny joke, kind of a pun because she's both chosen and the chosen one.

She's trying to make herself feel better. She's not tearing anyone else down, unlike O.P., who is intentionally tearing Penny down. Some people in the comments are saying, everyone sucks here. That's a strong disagree from me. I don't think Penny is being malicious or mean at all. She just has a stupid little joke that she says to make herself feel better, which is not at the expense of anyone, in my opinion. So, O.P., I'm giving you 1.5 out of five buttholes, and I'm giving Penny zero out of five buttholes. At worst, she's annoying.

At best, you're cruel. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.