rSlash - r/AITA My Parents Stole My Entire Life from Me

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:19 Family situation 3:54 Breathing 8:03 Apologizing 11:44 The truth 15:41 Wrong date Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey guys, real quick, I'm currently recording this from China, so just a heads up over the next month or so, there might be a slight dip in audio quality, but hopefully it's not that bad, and eventually it'll go back to normal. Welcome to r slash, am I the butthole, where OP reveals just how badly his parents are abusing him. Am I the butthole for saying that I'll take on more responsibility so my parents can foster and adopt my special needs cousin, but only until I'm 18 and then I'll be done? My parents have 4 kids.

I'm an 18 year old boy. Next is my brother Harry who's 13. Then my sister Jazz who's 11 and my youngest sister is Amy, 8. Harry and Jazz have autism. Neither can talk clearly, but mumbling is the best they've learned. They were developmentally delayed, so walking came later for them as well. Harry and Jazz are in a special needs private school because my parents wanted the best chance for them and this place was highly recommended. Both of my parents worked longer

hours for this. And because of the longer hours they work and the aftercare they're paying for Harry and Jazz, it's meant that I needed to take on some more responsibility, especially with Amy. I take care of her every day after school until my parents come home. This includes cooking and deep cleaning the kitchen after I finish making food for us, so my parents can cook for Jazz and Harry and not risk any issues with the food. Because they both have highly sensitive taste buds and they have limited diets. When Harry and Jazz go for respite or all day therapies, my parents make time for Amy and just Amy.

They don't want her to feel left behind or like she doesn't matter. I do not get the same attention. I never did, even when I was younger and things were bad. Amy was always the kid they prioritized time with whenever they had it. And I had expectations put on me that I would do my best to give my sister a great childhood. They put a lot of their responsibility for that on my shoulders by the time that I was just 11. I am also responsible for keeping the house clean because of my parents working hours.

Sometimes I'm the only person who cleans the house all week and I used to try to get Amy to help out with some light stuff and my parents told me to let her enjoy her childhood. Recently my uncle and aunt died and my cousin who also has autism ended up in foster care. My parents wanted to take him in but they told me they would need me to step up and do more for us to make it work. They even told me how bad my cousin has it in foster care right now. My dad told me that my cousin hasn't found stability since his parents died several weeks ago.

So what do they want? For me to take over all the cooking, for me to do all the grocery shopping, but not with Amy, of course. And they want me to start adjusting to having three kids to care for, two of which have special needs. That way, my parents can take one kid at a time to their therapies and appointments. This pissed me off because they also asked me to babysit all three special needs kids so they can make more time for

Amy because it'll be hardest on her. I was pissed off so I said sure, I'll do it. But only until I'm 18. And then I'll be done and they will never see me again. My parents told me that my anger was unwarranted and everyone has to make sacrifices when a family is dealing with this many special needs kids. Am I the butthole? OP, this is textbook parentification, which is a form of abuse. I hope you're thinking about an exit plan once you hit 18 because this type of abuse

is never going to stop. So OP, the first chance you get, you should leave and never let your parents take advantage of you like that again. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your parents four out of five buttholes. Because, yeah, it is noble that they're putting all this effort into raising three special needs kids, but you can't do that by abusing another kid. Am I the butthole for yelling at my wife for firing our babysitter and making her cry because she called an ambulance? Me and my wife hired our

babysitter, who we've been using for years. We have two sons and one daughter and we've been hiring this babysitter since my oldest son was a baby. Though back then it was mostly the babysitter's mom looking after the baby and she was helping so we gave the babysitter a couple of dollars for that. She's now 16 years old and can look after the kids all on her own and my oldest two kids love her. This Friday my kids daycare has been closed for renovation. Daisy, our babysitter, has kindly offered to take care

of them after school from 3.30 to 6.00 p.m. I get home from work at 6.00 and my wife gets home 30 minutes later. However, this time, I got home early from work at half five. And when I got home, I found my wife yelling at Daisy while Daisy was just sobbing and apologizing. I asked my wife what was going on and she started yelling that Daisy had cost us a bunch of money. My first thought was that Daisy had broken something, but my wife wasn't telling me what it was. My wife told Daisy that she wouldn't pay her for her time

and to get the F out of our house and never come back or she'd call the cops. Daisy then ran out crying and I left my wife to calm down while I comforted my kids. They were all crying in a different room while my wife yelled at Daisy. When everything calmed down, I got the full story from my wife. So here's what happened. My mother had been looking after the kids until 330 while we were at work. This was Daisy's first time looking after my youngest son, though we knew that we could trust her with the babies since she looked after my daughter alone when she was a baby. Something important you should know is that my youngest son has breath-holding episodes,

which occur when he gets frustrated or is in pain, and he'll just hold his breath. To stop them from holding their breath, you just have to blow on the baby, or they'll snap out of it on their own. This is completely normal and relatively safe in babies. However, the episodes can sometimes cause passing out and blueness. And it's normal, and he usually wakes up within a few seconds. To cut a long story short, my mom forgot to tell Daisy what to do if that happens, and when my son passed out, Daisy panicked and called 911 and then my wife.

My wife is now angry that Daisy called 911 for nothing and has now wasted our money on an ambulance ride. Me and my wife are now arguing because I think Daisy did the right thing, but my wife doesn't. Yesterday, we got into a heated argument. We both said some hurtful stuff, and she's now staying with her mother for a few days while she thinks over my priorities in the relationship. Am I the but- Yo, what? This is genuinely one of the dumbest stories that I've ever read. So OP and his wife and OP's mom who was watching the baby all forgot to tell the babysitter that the baby will just randomly turn blue and stop breathing. And then this poor 16 year old girl she's like, oh my god, this baby is f***ing dying.

She calls 911 because of course you call 911 in that situation and your wife is going to yell at this poor girl for doing the right thing. Yo, this is bonkers. This is crazy. Imagine you have like a baby who randomly bleeds blood from his eyeballs and a babysitter sees that and calls 911 and then the parents like, how dare you call 911? Don't you know that our baby has bleeding eye tear syndrome that's perfectly harmless and there's nothing wrong with that? Well, no, I didn't know that because you never told me that. So of course I thought it was an emergency. This is dumb.

Okay, OP, your wife gets 3.5 out of five buttholes. She insanely overreacted. I think you also deserve a butthole score as well because it's your responsibility as well to make sure the babysitter is properly equipped to take care of your baby and you all failed Daisy in this situation. So I'm giving you and your mom 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for your negligence. I'm giving Daisy 0 out of 5 buttholes. She did everything perfectly here.

Am I the butthole for refusing to apologize to my friend's boyfriend? This is so effing stupid, I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm a 34 year old woman, and I have a friend named Summer who's also 34, who's a free spirit. In high school, she got sent home multiple times for going to class barefoot. She dropped out of college and hitchhiked to Mexico one summer and didn't tell anyone where she was going. She forgets to pay her phone bill so she's occasionally unreachable. I know that sounds like a lot, and it'll sound like even more by the end

of this story, but we've been friends since we were 10. I don't care that she's a mess, I love her. We're in this for the long haul. Summer's boyfriend, Will, is the opposite of Summer, and I'd hoped that he would mellow out her wild side. You know how Summer forgets to pay her phone bill? Well, apparently she did it again. I found out when Will called me Friday morning while I was at work. He said that he was having trouble locating Summer. I said, yep, that's Summer for ya. If you get a hold of her, please tell her to call me. Best of luck. Then I hung up, thinking nothing of it. Will rang me again and demanded to know where Summer is. I truthfully said that I had no idea, but I'll call

her parents' form and see if they know. I went to do exactly that, but Will called me again before I could. I answered, and it was the same question, but angrier. Where the F is my girlfriend? I'll spare you the suspense. This went on for quite some time. I have absolutely no clue why Will was convinced that I know where Summer is, but I told him exactly when and where I saw her last and that she disappears like this routinely, which he damn well knows. They've been together for a year.

I used the plainest language possible, but Will just wouldn't relent. He called me about 50 times. I put it on silent at first, but by the 51st time, I'd had enough. I answered and said, Bro, stop blowing up my phone! I don't know where Summer is, and I'll block you if I have to! You're gonna get me fired! Then I turned my phone off. Today Summer called me.

I was expecting some form of explanation, but she opened with, I'm handing the phone to Will, he wants an apology. I stopped her and said, Apology for what? She said, first saying that he blew up your phone? To which I replied, he did blow up my phone and I was at work too. Maybe I shouldn't have threatened to block him, but he didn't get the point the first 50 times I said it calmly. Summer said to just apologize because he's really pissed.

And here's where I'm probably the butthole. No. No to all of that. I'm not apologizing because her milk toast boyfriend, who's basically the human equivalent of a dry ham sandwich, is on some ego trip. I said that, but nicer, and she hung up on me. Now I'm thinking that I should have sucked it up rather than jeopardize two decades of friendship. Am I the butthole? OP, why on earth are you the one who's supposed to be responsible for your friend's recklessness and her boyfriend's insecurities?

This is exclusively their problem and they're both making it your problem for what? For not answering the phone at work and having a long conversation about how you don't know where summer is? This is stupid. Also OP I gotta say, what you said about this girl's boyfriend is an insult to dry ham sandwiches. I've had dry ham sandwiches before. They're not nearly as unpleasant as this guy sounds. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving everyone else in this story 1 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining my brother-in-law's reputation by telling the truth to my friends? My in-laws are currently furious with me for hurting my brother-in-law's feelings and reputation with my friend group.

Recently, my single brother-in-law, Chris, who's 38, has been hinting at me to introduce him to women and I've refused. Chris has been single for almost 3 years and he's been having a hard time meeting women. He tried flirting with my one female friend, but she's been cold and non-receptive. This was my friend Grace, who's 35. Grace is not interested in Chris due to Chris's inability to be faithful and she wasn't physically attracted to him as well. He tried to flirtatiously engage with her during a small party my husband and I had

last Saturday. During the party, Grace had grown frustrated with his incessant flirting, and at some point told him in no uncertain terms that she found him physically ugly and that his physical ugliness is only surpassed by the ugliness of his character. She told him this in private, so no other guests had heard her scathing review of his personhood. Chris left the party. The following afternoon, while my husband and I were nursing a wicked hangover, my in-laws, to my surprise, called to scold me for having abused and embarrassed Chris. After a few minutes of us shouting back and

forth on the phone, I reminded my husband that handling his family was his job. So while my husband argued with his parents, I reviewed our security cameras. And honey, Grace verbally tore Chris apart. Grace reminded him that he cheated and divorced his late ex-wife, Lily, while she was battling cancer. And then he got dumped by the mistress for being a cheater because he continued to cheat on her as well. Grace told Chris that he wasn't a man of any significant value other than the few coins that he had in the bank and there is no way in hell she'd entertain his delusions of sexual grandeur and beauty. She also said that the only thing he had going for him was his overblown job title as an

executive director to a third-rate company that'll probably collapse in the next five years. As a parting gift, she told him to consider some cosmetic work to improve his haggard appearance and perhaps to start praying for divine intervention to fix his rotten soul, since there's no way a psychotherapist could ever come close to fixing whatever's wrong with him. My in-laws and Chris feel that I shouldn't have told my friends what Chris did because he's now perceived by my girlfriends as a terrible person. I told him that he was, unfortunately, a terrible person, and that people would have

eventually found out what happened between him and Lily anyways. I then discussed what happened with my colleague, Natasha. She said that I was cruel for having told my friend group about what happened between Chris and his ex-wife, because Chris had grown a lot in the past two years, and he didn't need to be known for the worst thing that he's ever done. Natasha is dating Chris's friend, so she also knows him. For what it's worth, I've only discussed Chris's treatment of Lily with my direct friend group, and that's only six people.

And half of them already knew this because they were also friends with Lily. So it's not like I'm screaming, HEAR YOU, HEAR YOU, in the town square. Man, I find it funny that... I don't know if it's funny his right word, depressing. It's depressing that not only does this guy cheat on his wife and cheat on his mistress, but when a mean woman tells him that she doesn't like him, he goes crying to his mommy about it.

OP, I think you're in the clear here because not only were you telling the truth, but you have a right to defend your friends. Of course you don't want your friends to date this guy because this guy is a toxic loser. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Chris one out of five buttholes for tattletailing to his parents, and I'm giving him 4.5 out of five buttholes for what he did to the women in his life. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that she has to understand that choosing this wedding date would result in the family not going? Two years ago, my brother, my nephew, and my mother were in a car accident.

My mother died instantly. My brother and nephew passed away the next day. My family was small. It was just me, my husband, my daughter, parents, brother, wife, and two nephews. The loss of these three people was devastating for my life and for everyone else, even worse for my father and my sister-in-law. One year ago, my 25-year-old daughter, Betty, was proposed to by her fiance and preparations began.

During this process, they chose the date based on the day they met seven years ago, and that day is exactly two years since the death of my brother and nephew. I tried to talk to her about moving the date because it's still a very difficult date for our family and even for myself. But she insisted, saying that the venue had that date available and it would be perfect, because all the other available dates aren't so good and wouldn't be so important. I respected her decision.

Recently, she sent the invitations to everyone and as I predicted, my sister-in-law, nephew, and father responded that they wouldn't attend. And despite not telling her this, my father and sister-in-law told me that the date she chose was offensive to them. I decided to remain neutral and I RSVP'd. Today, my daughter called me up unhappy that no one but us confirmed. My husband doesn't have family on his side, so the only family she expected to come

was from my side. Apparently, she expected everyone on my side of the family to show up on that date. Even more so after she explained the reason to them about that date, but they still refused. I tried to be supportive, but I said, love, this date is difficult even for me, but I'll go to your wedding. But you have to understand that choosing this date has consequences, and you would have to deal with the consequences of your choices. She exploded at me, saying that everyone was against her, that it's not her fault the dates coincided and that everyone could make an effort to go for a few hours for her, but

they decided just not to go and I was basically saying I told you so. She hung up without giving me a chance to answer and we still haven't spoken. My husband said that he understands me, but I should have stayed away from it. Am I the butthole? OP, jeez, you tried to give your daughter some gentle parenting here, which she badly needs because what did she expect? This is just beyond stupid! I can't tell if your daughter is this self-obsessed or if she's just stupid. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of five buttholes.

I don't know if the daughter deserves any buttholes score because she's not really mean necessarily, she's just really, really dumb. That was R slash am I the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.