rSlash - r/AITA My Roommate Tried to Kill Me

Episode Date: March 17, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:06 Proving a point 2:20 No booze 6:05 Destitute 8:40 Comment 9:10 Rent 12:55 Seat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP is almost murdered by her roommate. Am I the butthole for telling my roommate to move out after she risked my life to prove a point? I am a 25 year old woman and I have two roommates, Jenny and Abby. Jenny started noticing her food going missing and blamed both of us. I didn't eat any of her food, so I wasn't worried. Yesterday, Jenny called a roommate meeting and when we were off work, she sat down and told Abby she wanted to be paid back for the food that's gone missing. Abby started arguing, saying it

wasn't her, it was probably me. That's when Jenny said it couldn't have been me because she was putting nuts into her food and her stuff. Like food that doesn't even make sense to have nuts in it. Because I'm severely allergic to them. She said I couldn't have done it because I'd be dead. She said it all proud like she trapped Abby, but I literally felt sick. I could have died. Like genuinely died. An EpiPen isn't a cure. You still have to go to the hospital and it's bad. Also, it's really expensive to replace them. Like, for 30 bucks of food, she was willing to risk my life. She and I argued and she said that she knew that it wasn't me, so that's why she did it, but I don't believe her. I told her to move out and now Abby and Jenny are both mad at me.

But it's my life. It's my name on the apartment. I'm fairly certain I'm justified in kicking her out, but I'm double checking. It feels absolutely insane that I could lose a friendship of four years to something that wasn't even my fault. Abby is pissed at me and says that I'm overreacting, but she also doesn't want to move out, so she's at least somewhat on my side. Ginny is angry and not speaking to me. I told her she has 30 days to get out of my place. Look, thievery is bad, right? We can all agree that stealing someone's stuff is wrong and they should be punished.

Should they be punished by killing? Should they be punished with the death penalty? Probably not. So yeah, OP, I think your anger is completely justified here. I would kick both of them out. Abby, for being a thief, and Ginny for literally playing with your life here. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Abby gets 1 out of 5 buttholes for being a food thief, and Ginny gets… hmmm… 2 out

of 5 buttholes, I think. Am I the butthole for not explicitly stating that my punch is non-alcoholic? I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I recently attended a potluck-style work party and brought punch, which has since caused a problem between myself and another coworker who's 42, Sandy. Last week, my boss hosted a party at his house to celebrate the end of the busy season and a job well done. All of my coworkers and their spouses were invited and we decided it would work well to do a potluck to offset the cost of feeding everyone, about 35 people.

I volunteered to make punch that I brought to previous work events that everyone said they enjoyed, as well as some fruit to go with it. This was a casual party with alcohol present, but since I have some coworkers who don't don't drink, I didn't add any alcohol to this punch, and I figured that if people really wanted some, they would just add it themselves. Fast forward a couple of hours, and Sandy is getting even louder and more dramatic than normal and is stumbling around the party. I didn't think much of it and figured she brought her own drinks or was adding some of the host's alcohol that was put out into something else. She suddenly fell off the chair that she was sitting on and made a big

show of saying that it's because she was so drunk. She then asked me, in front of the rest of the co-workers, what it was that I put in the punch. I was confused and told her what was in it. Ginger ale, 7-Up, orange juice, and a can of orange concentrate. And she wanted to know what alcohol I put in it because I've been drinking it all night and I'm really feeling it. I told her that I didn't put any alcohol in it, and I asked if maybe someone else had spiked the punch bowl, but nobody said they added anything. And one of my coworkers who doesn't drink even said that they'd also been drinking the punch all evening and was still completely sober.

I also would like to clarify that I understand how context can matter. Like if everyone else was really drunk, then that can make even a sober person feel like they're loaded. But that definitely was not the vibe. Sandy was the only person acting drunk. She then got really quiet and went by herself to the vibe. Sandy was the only person acting drunk. She then got really quiet and went by herself to the bathroom. The rest of my coworkers and I exchanged some awkward glances and tried to laugh it off. She left shortly after and I received an angry text from her about how I shouldn't have

embarrassed her like that and that now she looks like an idiot in front of our bosses and the rest of our coworkers. She's been hostile to me at work ever since and is basically refusing to talk to me. I don't think I did anything wrong and most of my co-workers agree with me, but some say that I should have just let her go on thinking that the punch was alcoholic to save her the embarrassment and I'm wondering now if I'm in the wrong. This reminds me of an old video game I used to play back in the day called Warcraft 3. And in that video game, there was a unit called a Dryad.

And it was basically think like a centaur, like a half person, half horse, except instead of a half horse, it was a half deer. And if you click on these units enough, they tell a joke. And the Dryad's joke was, I'm hunting humans. I'll use my human call. I'm so wasted. I'm so wasted. And I think that's probably what happened here.

She wanted to act drunk for some sort of attention. Either she just wanted eyeballs on her or she wanted people to hit on her. We'll never really know. But her stupid plan got revealed by her own stupidity. So, you know, it's not your fault. Though I will say down in the comments, people are saying that there is a placebo effect with alcohol where if you give people non-alcoholic beverages and tell them that it's alcoholic,

then they will apparently say they start to feel buzzed after a few drinks. Anyways, you get zero out of five buttholes and I'm giving your coworker 1 out of 5 buttholes because blaming you for her stupidity is just completely unfair. Will I be the butthole if I left my fiance destitute? Two days ago, I came back from basketball a little early. I heard my fiance, Jane, tell her friend that she's settling for me. This friend of hers just got out of a relationship. I don't know what they were talking about before, but I just heard Jane saying that

after all the buttholes she dated, settling for me will be good for her. She then went on to describe my job and all the perks of being with me. Love is apparently not on the list. Hearing this kind of broke me. I just stood in place, dumbfounded. I don't even think that she loves me. For context, we live in a beach house. I bought it as a total gut job and renovated it myself.

And I have several other properties that are all rented out. I work in property insurance from home and I do house flips on the side. I'm satisfied with what I've accomplished so far in my life. All of this was worth mentioning for Jane, but not how much I loved her, how much time we spent together, not how I tried to be supportive of her goals and ambitions, how she wanted for nothing. I'm not gonna lie, I was in a bad place. Maybe still am.

I spent all of last night going through her messages. I knew her password, I just never looked. Well, it's a pretty common thing for her to say. Pretty much all of her friends know what's up. Jane wants a nice, normal guy after all the buttholes she dated. She wants a drama-free life where she'll be taken care of. Every time I read what she really thought about me, it was like another needle was being jammed in my heart. My first reaction was to yell at her and confront her about it. My second reaction was to make her suffer like I am. My dear Jane, the love of my life, I thought, doesn't work right now.

She quit her job to be a real estate agent. I don't know, maybe she wanted to learn more about real estate, maybe she thought her looks would get her by. She doesn't work right now. Zero. She also lives in my house. She decorated it and certainly put her touches on everything, but my name is on the title. Just mine. Her car is technically mine too. She didn't qualify for financing on her own, and she just had to have a beamer so I co-signed it. I can probably make a case that that's my car. We don't have joint accounts. Thank the almighty himself because she did ask. I pay her cards right now. I just want to show her the texts, throw her stuff in garbage bags, and put her out on the streets. Will I be the butthole if I did that? I quite like this reply from Status Pattern. Not the butthole.

You aren't leaving her a destitute. Think of it as you leaving her with exactly what she brought into the relationship. You're not married, you don't have kids, you saw love and she saw a piggy bank. She didn't quit her job to try something else. That was her excuse so that she could get you to support her joblessness. Yeah, and if she can't at least treat you with baseline respect, why would you want to be with her? So just move on, OP.

I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for putting my foot down and charging rent when my stepdad started trying to tell me what to do in my own house? My stepdad has been married to my mom for about 5 years. They were doing alright, but hit hard times and eventually had their house foreclosed on. So they moved in with me, a 27 year old woman.

They've been living here for about 2 or 3 months now, and it's been going okay until last week. Also, my stepdad has been working a part time job, but hasn't had full time employment since then. Anyways, I feel like some of the issues started since I've been on vacation, which I have now for two weeks. Sometime during the first few days, my stepdad saw me hitting out and made some sort of comments regarding my outfits.

He said my shorts were too short and that I should reconsider. We fought about it back and forth until I just decided to leave because I was tired of reasoning with him anymore. He's been making a lot of these comments in various times in various ways. For example, my skirts or shorts are too short, your belly is showing, etc. I've told him to stop and he says okay and then starts up again. I can't say I understand. I think the straw that broke the camel's back for me was when I had my boyfriend over. I told my mom about it as well and she said that she doesn't support it, but that it's a dispute him and I need to solve. My boyfriend stayed till maybe 10 30 to 11 pm and left. My stepdad didn't say anything while he was there, but he emotionally imploded after

he left. He said that it's wrong to have guys over this late and to be in my room with them alone. He said that we don't stand for these things in our house. Hold on, how old is OP? She's 27. I responded to him that he can stand for whatever he wants to in his house, maybe even in a hypothetical our house, but he can't tell me what to do in MY house. I told him that the days of him making unsolicited comments at me need to end. On top of that, I told him that from here on out, I'm charging him $400 bucks a month

rent with a month-to-month agreement. On top of that, if he continues to make comments, this agreement is over and he'll be out of the house as soon as I'm able to make it happen. My mom was upset at first about it, but I was able to calm her down. First, I told her that she told me it was up to us how to solve this dispute and this is how I've decided to solve it. Secondly, I told her that he's been staying a while and starting to charge rent would make my life a bit easier for us as long as he stays. She was a bit more amenable to that second point. My stepdad is just overall quite pissy. He hasn't told my mom or I

his thoughts on the arrangement since he yelled at me about it the night of our big argument, but he's just generally ignoring me when he can. I could maybe, maybe begin to understand where this guy is coming from. If he had married OP's mom when OP was like, you know, four and the guy had raised her throughout her entire childhood so he still saw her as like a little baby that he needs to protect. But he married OP's mom when OP was 22, already a grown adult who could go to a bar and drink. And this guy is treating OP like some horny 15 year old who's ready to go get knocked up and be a teen mom. Geez, you should have evicted him, OP.

He is getting a sweetheart deal and has the gall to be pissy about it. Four hundred bucks a month? Sign me up. I would have killed for written like that, even if my landlord constantly criticized, oh, don't you think you should change your shirts? Yeah, for 400 bucks. I'll listen to you say whatever you want to say, man. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your stepdad 1.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for kicking a pregnant woman out of her seat? Basically, I was doing a long travel day, 5 hours, so I booked my train in advance to ensure that I had a reserved seat. When I got on the train, a woman was in my seat, so I politely inform her that I think that's my seat, show her my ticket, and ask her to move. She checks her ticket and just says, well, I must have sit in the wrong seat, and puts her head down. I say, that's my seat, could I please sit in it? At this point her partner, sitting opposite her, starts speaking at me in what I perceive

to be an aggressive tone. He suggests I find another seat, which there are none because it's busy, and I say, but I booked that seat and there are no other seats available in this carriage. He then raises his voice and says, well someone else is in our seats and my wife is pregnant. I say I understand that and that I have a heart defect, which I do. And I said everyone has their own medical issues and reasons and standing for long periods of time might be difficult. And here's where I could be the butthole.

I ask him to not speak to me in an aggressive tone and that I'll make a complaint. He then starts swearing at me and I ask him to stop. Eventually the woman gets up and allows me to sit there and he continues to berate me saying he hopes I feel good for myself and that I'm quiet now that I have my seat, when really I just stopped engaging as I felt there was no point. One of the men who was sitting beside him offers that he and his partner could sit in the seats opposite me. It's a table seat.

At which point he sits his partner down and then laughs at me and points in my face. Eventually, when the ticket inspector comes around, they're asked to move to their assigned seats, and the lady asks if I'm okay as another passenger had made a complaint on my behalf. Even so, was I the butthole? Should I have just left them alone because she was pregnant? And did I in any way escalate the situation? Why didn't the husband give up his seat? So he sent his pregnant wife to go steal someone else's seat while he gets the cozy unoccupied seat. And then when you kick his wife out of the seat, he stays sitting and has his wife stand. Wow, what a winning dude.

OP, you're completely justified. You get zero out of five buttholes. The wife gets one out of five buttholes and the husband gets two out of five buttholes. That was r slash mi the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.