rSlash - r/AITA My Sibling Wants ALL My Money

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:09 Terrible wife 6:37 Partners 9:51 My money 11:43 Childish behavior 14:57 Adjust your life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not sure what to get the young people on your list? The latest phone? Sneakers? Video games? Get the one thing they need now more than ever. Give their feelings a place to go. When you donate to Kids Help Phone, you're giving the young people in your life and across the country access to free, 24-7, judgment-free support. Because at the end of the day, it's their thoughts that count. Donate at KidsHelpPhone.ca. Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where OP's wife smashes a coffee mug full of hot

coffee over OP's skull. Am I the Butthole for still filing for divorce after my wife cancelled the divorce now that she's getting the help she needs for her postpartum depression? I'm a 29 year old guy and I was in a relationship with my soon to be ex-wife, who's 28, for 8 years. Everything was what I describe as nearly perfect. Small arguments here and there, but nothing really significant or relationship altering. All of that stopped 13 months ago after she got pregnant.

The child wasn't a surprise as we were trying for a baby. I seriously don't know what went wrong, but around the 4 month mark, my wife completely made a 180 switch from the kind, caring and sweet woman she used to be into a total tyrant. I know that it's bad to speak of someone like that, but it's the best way to describe it. I'm completely honest when I say that my breathing was an issue for her. She woke me up at 2 or 3 in the morning because she wanted something specific, and she became verbally abusive when I refused to drive 45 minutes to get a certain ice cream she was

craving. She went on a tirade because she went to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday when it's closed. She called me a useless husband, everything under the sun, and I wasn't allowed to sleep in the same bed as her. Then she got pissed at me in the morning for not sleeping in the same bed as her. She got mad at me for cleaning the house because I was too loud. Then mad at me for not cleaning the house. She got mad at me for cooking something that she doesn't want now but that she did request earlier.

I bared everything, every insult and all the verbal abuse. I never raised my voice towards her during this time. I begged her to get help, talk to a doctor, therapist, her mother, anyone. But she refused and that just made things worse because apparently I called her crazy for asking her to get help. I went with her to the doctor one time and I brought up the mood swings. And afterwards, the hell that I experienced for a whole week was not worth it. And when talking to her mother, she tried to help, but my wife would act overly sweet and she made it seem like I was the crazy one to her mother, she tried to help, but my wife would act overly sweet and she made it seem like I was the crazy one until her mother left, and then it was back to hell

for me. Even the camera footage I have of her going off on me, she made it seem like it's out of context and I was made out to be the monster by everyone for not doing more or enough. She made it seem like every time she got angry, it was in response to something that I did. For example, if I was asleep at 4am and she wasn't able to open a can of peaches, that was my fault, earning me a can against the chest while sleeping. Four months ago, she gave birth. It wasn't an easy birth, but I was hopeful that things would somewhat return to normal,

but that's when the postpartum depression really kicked in. I again tried to help. I gave suggestions, researched, I talked to a therapist on my own to find better ways to help her, but everything I did just made things worse. According to her, I called her a bad mother and a bad wife, even though those words never left my mouth. Everything blew up when she actively became physically violent. My last straw was when she smashed a coffee cup on my head when I walked out of the room after a small argument because I took too long to bring her the cup of coffee. The reason why I took long is because I was busy with our son changing his diaper. That was the first time in eight years that I raised my voice at her and told her that

we're done, that she can pack her stuff up and move the F out of the house. She went to her parents' house. She wanted to take our son, but I didn't allow it. When she said that she would call the cops, I pointed to the camera in the hall and told her she's welcome to try because the camera caught the mug smashing. A week later, I was served with divorce papers. I had wanted to file myself, but I didn't have time because of work and caring for our son.

I was too busy. Three weeks ago after I got back from work, my in-laws were waiting for me. Apparently, her parents got her to see a therapist after they threatened to kick her out because she became as abusive to them as she was to me. They finally believed me that I wasn't making things up. They gave me a letter from my wife before they left. The letter said that she's sorry for the way that she treated me all those months, that she doesn't know why she did it and she has no excuse.

After her parents threatened to kick her out, she saw a therapist and a psychiatrist, and she's better now that she's on medication to help her. In the letter, she says that she's stopped divorce proceedings and she wants to give us another try. I haven't responded to her letter and I told my lawyer to proceed with the divorce. I gave the letter to my lawyer as well because it contains a lot of detail about what she did, as well as her admitting to the verbal abuse.

It's not just my words against her anymore. And I also have a video of her breaking the coffee cup on my head. And the hospital visit for the stitches and burn marks from the hot coffee. I'm told that I'm being the butthole because now she's getting the help that she needs and I should forgive her and give her another chance. I should do it to keep our family together. If I truly love her, I'd be able to forgive her for things that she did while not in her right mind. Apparently I'm a monster because I have no idea what she went through. My thing is, why didn't she take the help that I suggested?

I did every humanly possible thing to help her and she refused. She made me out to be this evil person and that everything I did wasn't right or good enough or not enough or nothing. Even when I removed myself from the situation, that was also wrong. I have more than enough evidence to get full custody of our son and a prenup that protects everything I have, including the house. Alright, two really big problems with this post. First of all, why is it that YOU weren't enough to get her to go to the psychiatrist,

but her parents WERE enough to get her to go? Is that because she doesn't really care about you, but she does care about her parents? Also, and this is like the big main thing that kind of makes nothing else really matter, is how can you ever trust that she wouldn't smash a coffee cup over your baby's head? Because if she did it without thinking when she wasn't in her right mind, then maybe she would also do it to your kid when she's not thinking or in her right mind, you know? And smashing a mug over someone's head could literally kill them, not exaggerating. So OP, ditch the wife, keep the house, keep the baby. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 4.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for requesting that my teacher NOT partner me with my deadbeat father's daughter? I'm a 16 year old guy, and my father walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with me. They were married for like 5 years at that point, but he was cheating a lot. When my mom divorced him, she went through hell because they'd picked up and moved. My dad never met me. He didn't show up at court for their divorce, or for custody, or for child supports. He went to jail THREE times for failure to pay child support and for trying to avoid child support by quitting his jobs and not declaring

his new place of employment. I still haven't met him. But around a year ago, he, his affair partner, and their kids moved back with his family. He has a daughter 5 months younger than me, a son about a year and a half younger, and some other kids who are younger again, but I don't know their ages. I only know of the older two kids because of school, and I share some classes with his daughter. The girl has tried to connect with me, but I told her that I wasn't interested, that we are not family, that I don't want to know the Affair family. Even though she was upset and cried a little in front of me, she didn't give up. And when we returned to our classes in August,

she was suddenly in four of my classes instead of just one like last year. So I went to our teacher who assigns a lot of group stuff and I asked her to never pair me with my half-sister. I explained the reason why and my teacher was surprised, but agreed that it would be for the best to avoid hostility during their projects and especially if others are working with us. Twice my half-sister has tried to claim me as a partner or make me a part of her group. The first time she tried as her solo partner and the second time in a bigger group.

Both times, our teacher refused. This made my half-sister realize what I'd done. She told her parents, they went to the principal, and demanded a meeting with me and my mom. Mom went but left me out of it and explained why to the principal. She said that she didn't think the first time that I meet my father should be when he wants to berate me for not working with his daughter. They tried to say, oh my god, they tried to say that I was bullying their daughter and I should be facing suspension or be forced to make it up to her through some kind of buddy program.

The principal didn't take it seriously, but his daughter and son now stare at me a lot more in school the last couple of weeks ever since the meeting. And a couple of her friends said that I was such a dick for embarrassing her like that and not getting to know her. Yo, it's crazy to not show up for the court meetings, not to show up for the divorce proceedings, not to show up for any of that, but the dad will show up to scold OP for not coddling my daughter. Man, what an absolute loser this guy is. I don't blame you, OP. I wouldn't want to get to know that family either. I was kind of initially inclined to give the half

sister sympathy because you know she just wanted to connect to her half-brother. I can't really knock her for that. But then to tattle-tail to her parents and to escalate the issue? Nah man, she lost all credibility. OP, you and your mom get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your dad and his side of the family 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to spend my savings to bail out my sibling from debt? My sibling recently approached me asking for help with their financial situation. Apparently, they've racked up a ton of debt over the past few years from emergency purchases and lifestyle

choices. They've been struggling to manage the debt, and now it's at a breaking point where creditors are contacting them non-stop. I've been careful with my money, working hard and saving for years to build up a bit of a safety net for myself. I'm not rolling in cash, but I've got enough set aside to feel secure. When my sibling asked me to help, they weren't looking for a small loan. They wanted me to clear out nearly all of my savings to cover their debts. They argued that family should help each other and implied I was selfish for not wanting

to help them get out of this mess. I tried suggesting other options like talking to a financial advisor or consolidating their debt but they brushed those off, saying that would take too long and I was their only real option. They even got our parents involved, who are now pressuring me saying family is more important than money and that I should do this because I'm the responsible one. I feel for my sibling and I understand that they're in a rough spot, but it doesn't feel fair for me to sacrifice everything I've worked for, especially when I had

nothing to do with their financial choices. Now I'm being called heartless and cold by my family and I'm starting to wonder if I'm being selfish for holding on to my savings. Hmm, well, if your parents are so concerned about your sibling's debt, then why don't they pay it off? Huh? That's what I want to know. God, everyone's such a hypocrite! OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Keep your money, tell everyone else to F off. Huh? That's what I want to know. God, everyone's such a hypocrite. OP, you get 0 out of

5 buttholes. Keep your money. Tell everyone else to F off. I'm giving your sibling and your parents 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for calling my girlfriend childish and telling her to leave after she intentionally destroyed a gift that I got for my little sister? Me and my girlfriend Megan stayed together. She had a fight with her parents and asked if we could move in together, so we did. Not too long ago, I had to take in my little sister. I can't disclose much, except for the fact that I was her only option. When me and Megan had a talk about having to take my sister in, she did not like the idea. She told me that I was too young to have such a responsibility, that what would happen when we get married and have our own kids, that our place was too

small. She didn't outright say that she had an issue with it. I obviously couldn't turn my back on my sister, so I went ahead with it despite her reservations. Although my sister has always been friendly to Megan from the moment she met her, Megan is always just indifferent. And it sucks because my sister really admires her and enjoys talking to her. I just thought that maybe they don't connect because of my sister's age. A month ago, I bought my sister a Nintendo Switch. She's always wanted one and all of her friends have it. I figured she deserved it because she does well at school, helps with chores, and is

generally a well behaved kid. She loves it and she's been taking good care of it. Megan was not happy when I bought it. She actually sulked. Megan would borrow the Switch incessantly and my sister wouldn't say no because maybe she was afraid to, but Megan would use it so much that it felt like it belonged to her. My sister never said anything. She would just patiently wait for her turn. Sometimes Megan would use it even when my sister was at school, saying that she gets bored when I'm at work. All this made me uncomfortable, so I asked Megan to please tone down on the switch as it's unfair to my sister. It's her gift. Megan agreed, though it was clear that she was upset. She gave us the silent treatment for the rest of the night. Last week, when I came back from picking up my sister from school after work, we found her switch broken. And that's putting it lightly. It looked

like it was deliberately smashed. My sister was distraught. When I asked Megan what the hell happened, she told us that she accidentally dropped it and it broke. It was obvious that she was lying. And when I pointed that out and all the other times where she seemed to have an issue with an 11 year old for no reason, she got annoyed and told me that everything was fine until my sister moved in. I called her childish and asked her to please pack her bags and go back to her parents' house because I need space and time to think. This only made her more annoyed, but she eventually left. Her best friend texted me last night to tell me that I was a butthole for kicking out Megan because on top of everything else, I know how rocky her relationship with her

parents are. Does this make me a butthole? So OP's a butthole for kicking out the girlfriend when she has a rocky relationship with her parents. Meanwhile, the girlfriend wants OP to kick out an 11-year-old girl who presumably doesn't even have parents. How do people not see the irony, the hypocrisy? OP, please, please, please, please, please, please dump this woman. She sounded like a nightmare before your sister moved in, and your sister just made it worse. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my sister stay with me after she got married and demanded that I adjust my lifestyle for her husband? Okay, so I'm a 28-year-old woman and I have a pretty established routine. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and while I'm not a neat freak, I like my space

to be organized and have a certain vibe to it. Think minimalist, calm, and quiet. My sister, who's 30, recently got married to this guy, who's 31, whom I barely know. They live about three hours away, and since their wedding a month ago, she's been asking to stay with me for a few weeks. Normally, I'd be fine with it. I love my sister, but there's a catch. When I agreed, she dropped the bomb that she'd be bringing her husband

with her. Apparently, he doesn't feel comfortable being alone for extended periods. So she wants me to adjust my lifestyle for them as a couple. This means rearranging my apartment for them, having quiet hours during the day because he works from home, and no longer playing music or hosting friends when they're around. Oh, and she suggested that I stop using the guest room for my own hobbies, which is how I unwind after work. Basically, I'm supposed to cater to their needs and make space for the relationship. I told her that I wasn't comfortable with that, especially since I don't even know her husband that well, and I wasn't planning on making my home into a mini hotel or daycare

for them. She got super upset, called me selfish and said that it's just for a couple of weeks, but I'm really not okay with it. I feel like I'd be giving up a lot of my personal space and peace of mind just for her convenience. Now she's threatening not to visit at all, and I'm feeling guilty but also like she's overstepping. OP, this is not going to be just for a few weeks. They're planning on living there for months,

possibly even years rent free. Don't fall for it, OP. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving their obvious scam 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like their obvious scam 2 out of 5 buttholes.