rSlash - r/AITA My Sister Demanded I Pay Her $20,000

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:08 Financial assistance 2:31 Adult children 6:50 Not invited 11:06 Selling forgiveness 13:17 Husbands terrible friend Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To support sustainable food production, BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable cottage mines in Canada. Essential resources responsibly produced. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. Welcome to R-Slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP's did beat parents demand that he give $20,000 to his sister. Am I the Butthole for how I phrased my reply to my parents' request for financial assistance for my sister? My parents had me

very young, like when they were in high school. They had an on-again, off-again relationship throughout my childhood, with my maternal grandparents actually doing most of the parenting, until I was 12 and got married and actually got their act together. They had my sister two years after that. I was always a second thought with them. Our vacations were suited to an infant. Our home was full of stuff for a little kid, not a teen. Whatever.

I finished school and my grandpa helped me get into apprenticeship as a welder. I enjoy the work and the money's great. I have my own rig now and I just bought a house. My sister is in the ballet and she's really good. She has an opportunity to go to a summer program but it'll cost a lot of money. My parents can't afford it at all. They asked me to help and I said no. They said that I should help her out because she looks up to me. I said no. They said that I make more money than I need, and they'll have to go into debt for her to go into this program.

I offered to give them back all the money they spent on my extracurricular activities as my contribution. They said that I was being a butthole because when I was young, they couldn't afford to pay for the stuff that I was interested in. I pointed out that they're old, and they still can't afford to pay for that stuff. My grandparents said that I was too harsh for how I phrased it, but they know my parents did nothing for me when growing up. Am I the bad guy?

Alright, hold on. Let's go to the comments and see if we can figure out. $20,000. That's how much the summer camp costs. OP, is there really a summer camp or are they just trying to secretly buy a car and trying to get you to pay for it? 20K for a ballet camp?

Okay, maybe there are 20K ballet camps, I don't know. But they can't afford it. Another coming to you expecting you to pay it when they did nothing for your childhood? Give me a break. OP, if anything, you weren't harsh enough. Man, where do people get the balls to just ask random people for $20,000? I could sort of understand if it were like the down payment for a house.

Maybe the family vehicle broke down and they eat a new car, but ballet camp? Opie, you get zero out of five but holes. I'm giving your parents 2.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for canceling the entire vacation? When I found out that my step-daughter's deliberately hid my daughter's passport to get her to stay home, I've been married to my wife, Beth, for five years. I also have a biological daughter named Jessica.

She's 18. I also have two step- step daughters named Monica and Leah. They're 25 and 28. Sorry, I got to stop this story. When I read the title of this post, OP, I was imagining like a 12-year-old and 13-year-old girl. But this story is about 25 and 28-year-old women, grown women, hiding someone's passport. Sorry, just had to take a moment there. I was not expecting this. Both of my step-daughters are single moms and currently live with us. There's been issues about my step-daughters asking my daughter to babysit their kids. Jessica didn't have a problem with it at first since this is what she does to earn money, but since her step-sisters don't pay her much, she's refused to babysit. We work this out by having my wife take care

of paying for the babysitting. I planned a family vacation for three days and everyone wanted to go. However, both Monica and Leah suggested that Jessica stay home and watch the kids since my wife doesn't want her grandkids to come. They said it's because the kids are used to Jessica and hiring another babysitter would cause issues. They also said that Jessica isn't too fond of our destination, but it was obvious that Jessica wanted to go. They insisted, and my wife Beth offered to pay double the normal babysitting rate, and there was just a lot of back and forth until I demanded they stop bringing it up. We were supposed to go last week, but when everyone had packed their

bags and it was time to go, Jessica found out that she didn't have her passport on her. We searched her bag, then went home and searched there. Beth and my step-dotters kept insisting that we go back to the airport or we would miss the flight. They insisted that Jessica stay home with the kids. They even told the new babysitter to go home because she was no longer needed. I refused to go and kept searching for the passport until Monica admitted that she helped Leah hide the passport to force her to stay home with the kids. I was livid and I tried to get her to tell me where it was

but she said that Leah had it. Leah denied having it, so I threatened to cancel the entire vacation. That's when they gave back the passports. I decided to actually cancel the vacation and blew up at both of them, berating them. They stayed upstairs for a while

and Beth refused to speak to me, saying that I punished my step-dotters for worrying about their kids. And just for wanting them to stay with someone they know, they said that I overreacted and ruined the trip for everybody. daughters for worrying about their kids, and just for wanting them to stay with someone they know. They said that I overreacted and ruined the trip for everybody. Opie, when this story started, it was super, super clear that you have a stepdaughter problem, but by the end of the story, it's also clear that you have a wife problem.

Your wife and her stepdotrs are just toxic across the board. If they're so worried about the kid spending time with someone they know, then why don't they have one of them stay behind? Why doesn't your wife stay behind? Why doesn't one of the step-daughter stay behind? Instead, okay, let's be honest, let's be real clear about what's happening here. They're trying to push it off to Jessica because they're not related to Jessica, therefore they don't really care about Jessica. O.P. okay, I'm not really sure if what happened here crosses the line into divorce territory, but we're super close. I think for some people, this is crossing the line. I think for me personally, it would be. This would be like the first

step on a multi-step journey towards divorce. I would have to like sit down and have a talk with them and be like, yo, what you did was extremely rude. Now you're giving me the cold shoulder when I did the right thing after you did the wrong thing, you guys need to turn around your behavior and start treating Jessica like a real sister slash daughter instead of some unwanted stepchild. And if they do turn around, then I guess the marriage can be salvaged. But if they keep up this behavior, then I'd be out of there, man. Opie, I'm giving you and your daughter zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your wife and your step-dotters 2.5 out of five buttholes.

This story feels very, very Cinderella-esque, right? Were the evil step-dotters get to go to the ball to meet the prince? But the unwanted Cinderella, who's not related doesn't get to go? It's, yeah, this story is just Cinderella. Am I the butthole for telling my fiance that her sister isn't invited to our wedding? I'm a 27 year old guy. I've been with my fiance a 28 year old woman for close to a year, engaged for half of that.

We're planning a wedding in the fall of 2024 and we've started a guest list. My fiance comes from a big family while I'm an only child. The two of us are close to one of her sisters in particular and often went to visit her and played board games and such. This sister has a fiance and is pregnant. Recently, my fiance told me that her sister was having a shotgun wedding before the baby arrived in order to keep up with their traditional family values. But let's back up a bit.

I've done a lot for her sister and soon to be husband. I planned a birthday party for his son from another marriage. I've given her rides and always brought small gifts whenever I visited. I've gone as far as to stop everything that I was doing to help her during a hell scare when she was pregnant. I really felt like part of the family.

Okay, fast forward to the present. And a text to my fiance about announcing her wedding, her sister made it a point to say, it's a small wedding, no plus once. Oh, peaking come to the dinner afterwards. Fine by me, I honestly don't really mind, as ceremonies can be dull, and I understood why she would only want to have immediate family at her small wedding. I woke up on the day of the wedding to help my fiance get ready and drive her over to her sister's house. I planned on driving my fiance, her sister, and her sister soon to be husband to the venue and bringing them to the dinner afterwards. My fiance told me, it's okay, just drop me off at my sister's and we'll get a ride over. That was a little odd, but I was fine

with that too. I arrived at the venue, and as my fiance got out of the car, I asked if I could come in and congratulate them. She seemed hesitant and said, uh, okay, let me just text my sister to make sure. I was dressed in plain clothes and was hesitantly invited to come inside. We walked up to the house. Inside was a party of her siblings, their friends, and significant others all dressed up. They looked at me and didn't say much. I saw another one of her sisters, and her new boyfriend was in a suit. Everyone was invited.

The No Plus One Rule only applied to me. I immediately left, and in a text, I told my fiance that her sister and her husband were off of our wedding list. My fiance was upset at that because her sister is her close friend. She said that maybe I did something to upset them, which is why I wasn't invited. But I've been nothing but kind and caring to her entire family. I've spent hundreds of dollars and gone above and beyond for everyone, but now we're fighting over this. Am I the butthole? Opie, you're a nice guy.

And how do I mean that like the derogatory sense of a nice guy? I mean you're a... a kind human. Unfortunately, when some people encounter a kind human, they treat them like a doormat, and that is clearly what your fiance sister and your fiance are doing to you. Let's be clear about this OP, your fiance 100% knew that you weren't invited, and she was okay with it. Why she was okay with this, considering that every other boyfriend was invited, including the new boyfriend, what's up with that?

But still, she decided to exclude you and just let that insult slide? Why does she want to marry you if she doesn't mind you being disrespected like that? Why do you want to marry her for that matter? Opie, let me be as clear as I can possibly be. This story, what just happened to you, is a major red flag. Your sister doesn't like you, I think your fiancee kind of doesn't like you either, and they're both okay with just insulting you casually. They take you for granted, and I don't think this is someone that you want to get married to. There's literally no way that OP's fiance didn't lie or gaslight or manipulate OP into accepting the no plus

one rule. There's just no way. She had to have known about it. Clearly she knew about it beforehand, and she's just, man, I don't know what to say. These are just bad people sending out red flags. Please recognize these red flags for what they are OP. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your fiance and her sister 2.5 out of five buttholes. As the world's population grows,

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Am I the butthole for telling my parents that I'm willing to sell them my forgiveness? My parents expected me to be independent, the minute I turned 18. They gave me the money they'd saved up for my education and started charging me rent. I was lucky enough to have a partial scholarship and I found a job in the city that my university was in, so I moved there before my school year began.

With my parents money, my scholarship, and my wages, I was able to scrape by. I rarely, if ever, spoke to my parents. I was kind of busy. I guess they decided they didn't want that kind of relationship with my younger siblings, because they were not presented with the same option they gave me. Both of my siblings lived at home all through university and even afterwards. I'm now 34 with a decent job and a great girlfriend whom I'll be marrying this summer. I sent my parents and siblings an invitation to the wedding. My parents called me to ask me why they weren't involved in the wedding.

I responded that they hadn't really been a part of my life for the past 16 years and that I was being nice by inviting them. They said that they acknowledged they made mistakes when I was young, but it was in the past and I should get over it. Against my fiance's advice, I sent them an item I's bill for everything I paid for myself that they freely gave to my brother and sister. I said if they want to be a part of my life, then they had to auntie up. They said they can't afford it

because they're in debt still from helping my siblings out. I laughed at them, said that I hoped I would see them in the wedding and hung up. My family is all trying to get ahold of me to tell me how much I'm hurting my parents. The thing is, I don't want their money, and I don't want anything from them at all other than their attendance at my wedding. If they can't do that, then I'm fine with our yearly phone call. Am I the bad guy? I agree with you OP.

This doesn't really seem like it's about the money, it's about the unfairness and the preferential treatment they're showing to their siblings. How come they got a free ride, but you had to pay your own way? To put it simply, it's just bad parenting. Opie, you get zero out of five bad guys. I'm giving your parents 2.5 out of five bad guys. Am I the butthole for throwing out my husband's friend's food? My husband loves his buddy Steve. I would love Steve a lot more if he wasn't always trying to give my cat human food whenever he visits. I've explained it to him many times.

Steve, do not give the cat any food, she's only allowed to have cat food. I've had to do this literally every time he's been in my house with food. Nevertheless, Steve persists. I came home yesterday and Steve and my husband are throwing darts in the garage. Then they go out and come back with some fast food, including a meal for me. I turn my back for one moment to get some plates and when I turn back around, I see Steve offering my cat a piece of garlic bread. I yell at him to stop it already, grab his whole meal and dump it in the trash. He calls me a B word and reaches for my meal, but I grab

it away and yell at him to get the hell away from my cat until he learns some manners. They go back out to the garage and I overhear my husband trying to reason with them, but Steve is not having it. Steve storms out. Steve is pissed while my husband understands my point, but is also annoyed and says that I have no right to throw away his meal. I really don't want to see Steven my house at all anytime soon, but at the very least, I don't want him here with any food until he learns to keep it to himself. Okay, people down the comments are pointing out that Garlic is famously poisonous to cats, which I actually didn't know about.

So in addition to the baseline disrespect of Steve just not respecting O.P.'s boundaries, he's also potentially killing her cats. I would say that since he's continuously disrespecting you in your own home, then you have every right to lash out at him. I'm giving Steve 1.5 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your husband 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. You know what's worse than a guess coming in and continuously disrespecting the wife? The husband who keeps bringing that guy into the house and allowing his friend to disrespect his wife. Opie, you get an easy 0 out of 5 buttholes.

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