rSlash - r/AITA My Sister is Literally Pure Evil

Episode Date: April 8, 2023

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the bad guy where OP comes to discover that her sister is pure evil? Am I the bad guy for calling my sister a misogynist and telling her she needs to find a different career? I'm a 26 year old woman and my sister is 29. She and I got into a huge argument the other day, and I really need some perspective. My sister has been working as a labor and delivery nurse for a few years now. She's always wanted to be a nurse and even said that it was her calling. Lately, she's been making horrible remarks about the mothers that come to her. Now, I understand that every job is going to have its problems and sometimes you need to vent about rude people, management, pay, etc. However, this was not like that. For example, she talked about one of her patients, which she referred to as white whale.

My sister said that white whale went into labor and brought her husband with her. She talked about how hot her husband was and how she couldn't understand how whale was able to pull someone like him. She laughed when recalling the sounds that she made when pushing out her child and said that she didn't look like the type of woman to be strong enough to go the natural route. In the past, she talked about how another mom to be defecated on the table, and she remarked that she wouldn't be surprised if her husband divorced her after seeing something so nasty. Other stories included teenage patient who just couldn't keep her legs closed. Here my sister claimed that she gave her some sound advice and I'm honestly scared to

know what she had said to this young girl. With this teenager, my sister laughed about how she gave the girl a nerst dose of pain meds to get her to shut up and refused to give her a blanket since if she wants to act like an adult then she deserves to be treated like one. The fight between her and I happened a few days ago due to her talking about a mother who delivered a premature baby. She admitted that she told this mother that she should have done a better job. Jesus. If she didn't want to have a baby born at 29 weeks, I blew up at my sister and asked her, how could you be so heartless? My sister told me that she should have

the right to vent about stupid mothers who don't know how to do the thing their body is designed for. She also said that I don't work in healthcare, so I have no right to remark on how she handles stress at work. I told her that if her way of handling stress is to be a misogynist, then she needs to find a different career. I left afterwards. My other family members have been divided on this issue. My husband's on my side. My mom and brother think that I was in the right to call my sister out, while my aunt, uncle, and dad are leaning towards my sister,

saying that my sister shouldn't have to kiss up to her patient in order to do her job efficiently. I feel bad for some of the things I said, and I know that she needs to let off steam. But saying horrible things about women in their most vulnerable time is cutting it for me. In addition, my family doesn't know this yet, but I'm pregnant. And hearing about how my sister, a nurse, is treating pregnant women just makes me scared for labor and delivery. So am I the bad guy?

Oh, we've got updates! So first, OP called the hospital and basically just explained what happened. Then, the hospital called back and let me see. They gave OP a link to an online website and asked her to fill out a detailed written complaint, specifically about what my sister had said about the teenage patient. Also, what exactly my sister said about the nurse dose? This is something they didn't know about. I've got a pause here.

I think you have to be a special type of nurse to deliver medicine. Is that right? Hold on. Nurses who can administer medicine? Registered nurses and licensed practical nurses may legally administer medications that are prescribed by a health care provider. Oh, but they have to be prescribed first. Okay, yeah, I can't really speak to the legality of this,

but I don't know if nurses can just, do we have any nurses out there? Can nurses just give out pain meds because they want to? That feels like probably not, right? The hospital said this is something they're taking very seriously, and the teenage patient was apparently fairly recent. The guy on the phone also alluded that the family of the patient also made a complaint. So I guess they're just trying to see if the events that occurred match between what we have to say. Someone is also going around asking people at the hospital what exactly happened with the patient's care, if they saw anything, or if anything was said. Then, OP posted another update.

To sum it all up, things really hit the fan. This morning, my sister came over to where me and my husband live and started banging on our door. My husband opened the door and my sister barged her way in screaming. I came into the living room where she was and she started screaming at me more. My husband had to stand in front of me because he was worried that she was going to lunge at me. My sister was yelling about how she lost her job because of some BS reports and that she knows it was me talking trash about her

because you just couldn't stay out of my business. I replied that it was my business if she was bullying pregnant women and then bragging about it. My sister told me to f off and she said, once again, that she could talk about anyone any way she f'ing likes as long as she gets her job done because that's what she went to school for and that I don't know anything. I reminded my sister that I actually might know something since, oh, I don't know, a certain

teenager's family had something to say about her behavior as well. My sister proceeded to go on a rant about that B word in her family and how she was supposedly annoying my sister by giving birth? I had trouble processing what she said because it was honestly mind-boggling. And here's where things got really bad. I thought that my sister saying horrible things about her patients who hadn't done anything wrong was mean. I thought the nicknames were cruel.

I thought that her telling mothers in labor that they weren't doing things right, and giving drugs to a teenager and slut-shaming her was vile, and yes, misogynistic. However, it was about to get atrocious. During my sister's rant, she said that she wanted to teach that brat a lesson, and said that maybe if she had given birth when she was older, her kid wouldn't have died. Oh my god. Holy s**t. My mouth dropped open. I didn't know this before. That poor girl.

Her baby effing died. I was horrified. I fell to the floor sobbing, imagining that girl in so much pain and my pregnancy hormones combined got me and I was on the floor having a panic attack. I told my sister to get the F out of my home and my husband escorted her out. My husband held me for a good 15 minutes until I calmed down. So yeah, I'm recovering from all that now. I don't plan on talking to my sister for a while.

I do plan on announcing the pregnancy soon, but I'm putting it off until later. Wow. I'm not even sure what to say to this post. Opie, your sister isn't just misogynist. She's evil. To tell a mother who just lost her baby that she's a slut and that her baby deserves to die, I think I'm giving her the full 5 out of 5 bad guys. Saying what she said to a woman who just lost her baby is bad enough as it is. But to say that, as a person in health care, whose responsibility it is to care for the patient, makes it like 10 times worse. Do nurses have to swear an oath? I know doctors do. The whole Hippocratic oath, do no harm. Do nurses? Swear an oath? Actually, don't

know the answer to this. Yes, they do. It's called the Nightingale Pledge. So it's pretty long and dry, so I'm not gonna read it all, but basically, don't give people drugs if they don't need them, don't hurt people, and don't do anything that's unprofessional. I think, uh, I think OP's sister pretty much violated this oath on every conceivable level. Yeah, I'm giving her, I'm giving her the actual full 5 out of 5 bad guys. I haven't done one of those in months, I feel like. Am I the bad guy for letting my sister walk me down the aisle, despite my fiance and his family's objections? I'm a 23 year old woman, and I was raised by my older half sister, who's 32.

I never met my dad, and our mom overdosed when I was 10 and my sister was 19. My sister's dad was still in her life and was willing to support her, but not me. My sister chose to be my guardian, and her father's family went low contact with her as a result. In order to raise me, she gave up a lot. Her relationship with her father, college, her 20s, and so much more. A few months ago I got engaged, and I told my sister that in addition to being my maid of honor, I also wanted her to be the one to walk me down the aisle. All my life, she's had to fulfill so many roles for me. Big sister, mother, father, friend, that it only felt right that those

multiple roles be honored in one of the biggest days of my life. My sister was ecstatic, and so was I, but when I brought it up with my fiance, he objected. My future in-laws are very traditional, and my fiance had always expected that his wedding would be a very traditional white wedding. He said that it was great that my sister was my maid of honor, but that her having two roles wasn't, and that it wasn't appropriate for her to walk me down the aisle since that's usually done by a man. Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away since I don't have any male relatives.

I told him that I appreciate his father being willing to fill that role, but that the one who makes me the person I am is my sister, and so it's right that she be the one to give me away. This turned into an argument that spreads to my in-laws. My mother-in-law called me a few days ago to say that although she understands how important my sister is to me, this is also my fiance's wedding and I shouldn't be putting my sister before him on this day. I definitely heard her on that, but this is still important to me.

At this point, my sister has even said that she doesn't mind just being the maid of honor and that she just doesn't want to turn my happy day into something stressful. So now it's just me holding out and being stubborn, but I really don't want to concede on this point. Am I being the bad guy? Man, OP has literally no family on planet Earth except for her sister. And OP's fiance's family is so callous that they're like,

well, yeah, but she's a woman, so we can't have her walk down the aisle. That's a man's job. And like them saying that you're putting your sister over your over your fiance on a special day, huh? How is that putting your sister over anyone? It's not. It's just you having your relationship with your sister celebrated at a wedding. If they're so concerned about tradition, then they would understand that traditionally it's up to the bride's family to decide who gives her away. So if you want

your sister to do that, then that's your right. OP, I'm giving you a rock solid 0 out of 5 bad guys. Your sister also gets like negative 5 out of 5 bad guys because she seems like a saint to be honest. I'm giving your fiance and it's family like 3 out of 5 bad guys. Honestly what they're asking here is so callous and heartless that if I were in your shoes I'd probably be reevaluating the entire wedding. Like if you can't let me celebrate the only family I have by letting my mother-sla-sla-sister-sla-sla-s best friend all in one walk me down the aisle, then go f*** yourself.

Am I the bad guy for insisting my sister-in-law visit us more when she's a busy resident doctor and she says that she can't? My sister-in-law, who's married to my brother, is a resident physician who works 60 to 80 hour weeks and frequently works one or both days of the weekend. Her residency is a seven hour drive from where me, my husband and my baby girl, who's one and a half years old, lived together. My brother and I were always very close growing up and even lived in the same apartment and later the same city. We were never more than 20 to 30

minutes away from each other. I got married and had my baby and he moved seven hours away to be with his fiance. Now wife pretty soon after I had my baby and he moved seven hours away to be with his fiancé, now wife, pretty soon after I had my baby. It was devastating for me because I had always pictured us being close and him really involved as an uncle. My sister-in-law works from 6 a.m. to 5.30 p.m. like six or seven days a week, but she does have some golden weekends where she has a Saturday and Sunday off. She usually has one per month and then she has three weeks of vacation. Never over Christmas or New Year holidays though. During those one weekends a month that she has completely off, her and my brother either stay at home because she needs to relax or will drive two hours to see her family. During the three weeks vacation, which she's only able to take one week at a time, they went on a one week long trip to Hawaii, a one week long trip to Cancun with her family,

and then one week where they just visited her family two hours away. They haven't made the trip to visit us more than one or two times a year, as they always say the drive is too hard with the limited time off she has, and she's usually too tired to come anyways. But not too tired for Hawaii or Cancun? They always ask my parents and us to visit them during holidays that she works, so at least we can be together and she'll join every day after five. But it's hard for us to travel with the one and a half year old. My parents have to split time visiting there and visiting us, and we need them for child

care. I've been asking my brother and sister-in-law to visit us more, even though I know her schedule is busy, and my brother got frustrated with me. When I asked him to visit alone, he said that she needs him because the heavy workload has been really mentally straining on her, and she quoted how resident physicians have a really high depression rate and basically called me a bad guy. I feel that it's unfair that we have to visit all the time considering we have a one year old and also both work full time, and I feel

they should balance better to visit us rather than just taking vacation. Am I the bad guy for insisting? Alright, so I like how you're excused for not visiting is you work a full-time job and you have a one and a half year old. But their excuse for not visiting is an insane 80 hour work week. Girl, if you want to spend more time with your brother,

then get in the car and drive there. This is a classic case of my problems, or everyone's problems, and your problems are only pretend problems. Your sister-in-law is literally saving lives, doing the most noble profession someone could possibly do, and you're getting upset because after working literally twice as much as every other human, in one of the most stressful professions out there, she wants to take a vacation in Cancun, she deserves it!

She's a doctor! Opie, I'm giving you two out of five bad guys. I'm giving your brother and your sister-in-law an easy zero out of five bad guys. That was our Slash of My The A, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.