rSlash - r/AITA My Sister Stole My Dead Baby's Name

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Baby name 2:42 Moving 6:36 Banned 10:21 Loyalty 13:05 Get out Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's family member steals the name of OP's dead baby. Am I the butthole for refusing to go to my sister-in-law's baby shower after she refused to support me when I had a stillbirth and stole my daughter's name? Three months ago, I, a 28-year-old woman, gave birth to my angel baby, Siobhan. My husband Dylan and I are still grieving her loss. We lost her due to pre-term premature rupture of membranes and there was nothing the doctors could do to save her. My mother is Irish and I was going to name my baby after my great auntie. We were so happy and now we're devastated. My family rallied around us and so did Dylan's parents, but his sister was a different story.

She's helped Dylan, but she's told me that I need to get over it, it being in reference to our daughter. My husband's sister Claire, who's 34, just announced her pregnancy at 20 weeks, and she had her gender reveal on Instagram. I am happy for her, but sad at the same time, because I never got to meet my daughter. She announced that she was going to have a baby shower and send out invitations last week. When we received the invitation, it said, Help us welcome our baby, Siobhan. I admit, I cried looking at the invitation. Claire and my husband's family have no connection to Ireland or the name Siobhan.

And when my husband asked her why she chose that name, Claire said that it sounded pretty and because we weren't able to use it, she was going to take it first. And to clarify, no, she is not naming her baby in honor of my daughter. As much as I want to feel happy for Claire, I just can't. It feels like she's rubbing the fact that my baby is dead in my face. So, I RSVP'd no to the invite. She called me on my private number and chewed me out for being a sour B word, for not being happy for her and for being jealous over nothing. I feel like I should be happy for her, but I just can't. I just want my baby girl, my Siobhan. Am I the butthole?

Ugh, OP, I'm gonna agree with you. I also think your sister-in-law is just trying to rub the fact that your baby is dead in your face. Full disclosure, that name is so uncommon in America that I actually had to look up how to pronounce it before I started reading it because I didn't know how to pronounce it. So I find it very, very unlikely that she just happened to pick that name out of the blue. Nah, man, she stole it from you. She stole it from your dead baby. Awful!

OP, I'm giving 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving this woman, gosh, I'm giving her 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. What she's doing to you is inhumane. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that I'll move back in once my stepdaughter and her family move out? I married my husband when his daughter, Trudy, was 22. She's now 36. At the time of our marriage, my husband was 47 and I was 32. I have two kids who are 20 and 18 and both of them are away at college.

Trudy never liked me, and that was fine. She has her own mother, and she was a full adult living on her own when we met. Her parents had been divorced for six years when I met her father. We live in a city with lots of tourism, so it was an easy decision to keep my apartment and do short-term rentals when my kids and I moved in with my husband. We also use it for out-of-town guests. Trudy and her husband ran into some financial problems last year. Trudy and her family of four moved in with us. We agreed that after the holidays, I would stop taking reservations for my apartment and they could move in there. They would sign a lease and we would rent it to them

without collecting rent so they could build up rental history and money. Trudy moved into our house last October. It was hell. She didn't help around the house and neither did her kids. Her husband was working his butt off to get money for them so he came home exhausted. And even then, her husband is more helped than her or their kids. The three of them leave dirty dishes everywhere. Dirty laundry everywhere. The house is just a mess. I've spoken to all of them, including my husband about this.

My son-in-law is the only one who makes an effort. Trudy literally said that I live in her father's house, so I don't get to tell her what to do. My husband did not back me up. So, I moved out. My apartment is now empty since the holidays are over. I said that I didn't want them treating my property like they were treating my husband's home. They're all mad at me for leaving and changing the plan. Trudy actually threatened to sue me since they have a signed lease. I told her to go ahead, since I could prove that I never got the agreed upon deposit or first and last month's rent.

I've been living here for a week now and it's great. No noise, no mess, and a much better commute to work. My husband's been spending a few nights a week here with me. He wants me to come home and give them the apartment like we agreed. I said I would do that, if we went back to his house that minute and it was in good shape. Narrator voiceover goes here. It was not. It was disgusting, like it smelled bad. It was like if It was disgusting. Like it smelled bad. It was like if five teenage boys were living there with no supervision. Trudy saw me looking around and discussed and said that it wasn't her fault and that the mess was because they didn't have their own living space.

Yeah, sure. I turned around and went back to my place. I offered to let my husband move in with me if he wants him to have their own space. He won't because he's retired and he likes where he is. So, like I said, they're all mad at me, my husband, Trudy, and her kids. Trudy's husband is the only one who understands my position. I will no longer agree to let them in my apartment, and I will also only move back in once they leave. Okay, I don't want this to come off as me bashing

on stay-at-home moms because my wife is a stay-at-home mom, she takes care of her daughter, I fully support it, I love having my wife take care of my daughter, it makes me happy. However, I gotta ask here, I gotta ask for real. What does she do? What does Trudy do all day? She doesn't work, she doesn't cook, she doesn't clean.

So, what contribution is she making to the family exactly? I don't understand how she can just sit on her butt and let dishes stack up and then her husband who's working by the sound of it at least 1.5 jobs, maybe 2 jobs has to come home and then do the dishes. That is wild! OP, you get an easy 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Trudy and her kids two out of five buttholes. I'm also gonna give your husband 1.5 out of five buttholes, because he's being really weak-willed here, and he should support you and stop enabling his daughter.

Am I the butthole for banning my husband's sister from my house until she uses the names of my twins? I'm a 38-year-old woman. I'm married with two kids, twins Amy and Nina, I'm a 38-year-old woman. I'm married with two kids, twins Amy and Nina who are both 6-year-old girls. We live in the same town that most of my husband's family lives in, but we live in a house that I inherited from my grandfather. It's the biggest house in the family, so we often host family gatherings. My husband's younger sister, Jane, who's 31, has been traveling for work ever since her early

20s. Mid-2022, she moved in with her fiance about a half hour drive away from us. After that, Jane started showing up regularly at family gatherings and rebuilt relationships with her family members. The only thing she never bothers to do is address my daughters by their names. Amy and Nina are identical twins. I understand when people refer to them as the twins, but I think it's important that their individuality is respected. I always tell family and friends that now that they're 6 years old, it's important

for them to have their own identity, and if possible, please treat them as individuals rather than a pair or a unit. My girls have different interests, hair, and dressing styles, so it's not hard to tell them apart. Jane always insists on calling the girls the twins and makes no effort to distinguish them. I've asked her many times to treat them as individuals, like her other nieces and nephews, and Jane would say, okay, and then keep doing the same thing. Last Christmas, Amy made paper cranes, and Nina painted flower pictures as their Christmas

gifts to everyone in the family. They signed their names and individually handed their gifts to everyone. Jane's fiance had to work this year and didn't join us. So after brunch, she video called him in the living room while the rest of us did our things nearby. Her fiance saw the crane in her hand, asked where she got it, and Jane said, oh, one of the twins gave it to me for Christmas.

The other twin drew some flowers. I felt that this was disrespectful, as the girls put a lot of effort into the gifts and deserved to have their private dedication recognized. When everyone left, I told Jane that I expected her to call my girls Amy and Nina from now on and to treat them like individuals and know their differences. Jane said that she won't bother because my girls are too young. So I told her that she's banned from my house until she learns how to address my girls by their names.

Jane just stomped off. My husband agreed with me on this. A few days ago, my mother-in-law called to plan my husband's birthday in early February. I told her that we could have a party at my house like usual, but that Jane wouldn't be invited. My mother-in-law was alarmed and asked why, and when she learned about what happened, she was mad at Jane. Jane called me a few hours ago,

calling me a butthole for making a big deal out of something insignificant. She said that my girls would be known as twins whether I like it or not, and once they get older, people will recognize them as individuals. But not now when they're young, and just another couple of girls.

She said that she deserves to be with her family for her brother's birthday and I need to let it go. Am I the butthole? You know, actually, when I grew up I had a close friend of mine who had two younger twin sisters and it was super easy to tell them apart. And me and the other friends in the friend group didn't really treat them as twins, they were just, you know, Amy and Maddie, the two sisters in the family. They were completely separate individuals, who acted differently, talked differently,

dressed differently. So yeah, it was super easy to tell them apart and not treat them as twins. And this is coming from someone who was a teenage boy at the time, one of the most clueless demographics on planet earth. So if a dumb, clueless, 13 year old boy can figure out the difference between two twins, then clearly a 31 year old woman should be able to as well. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Completely justified reaction.

I'm giving Jane 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that my loyalties lie with my baby brother? My little brother recently moved in with me. It was a huge shock at first. My brother Will, who is 17, is a female to male trans. I, a 35-year-old guy, had no idea that he was trans or even questioning his gender. He always seemed perfectly happy as a girl. He was even very feminine in presenting. Turns out, he came out to our parents after getting his hair cut, and they didn't take it well in the slightest. From what he's told me, he wasn't exactly kicked out, they just started being unbearable. They were dead naming him in every sentence they could, just to annoy him, I suppose. Mom kept booking him for appointments to get hair extensions and

his lashes done, and our dad wouldn't let him wear the male uniform to school. It got so bad that he literally took a train from down south to up north to ask if he could live with me. Of course I said yes. The house is big enough to have him live there. There's four bedrooms and an attic room. My girlfriend Niko, who's 32, was irritated when she found out.

Before Will came, we discussed her moving in, and now she's telling me that she won't move in until Will leaves. I've explained to her that Will isn't some child that we'd have to constantly supervise. That if anything, he's the one making the place more livable. Will is very insistent on adding onto the home decor and so on, as well as being better than me at cleaning. Also, our house is large enough for us to still have privacy even with Will living with us. Nico has argued that the house isn't truly ours if Will is always there.

That we won't be able to start trying to conceive that she's not willing to live with a hormonal and rebellious teenager, and that she's just flat out uncomfortable with Will being near her and living with her and her son, who's 10, in the same home. Ultimately, I told my girlfriend that my loyalties lie with my baby brother, who's homeless and vulnerable, unlike the grown woman with a good paying job

and a home of her own. She called my mom to complain about it, and she said that I was wrong for prioritizing Will, and Will himself said that he doesn't want to cause problems in my relationship. OP, let's stop and think about this for a second. So your girlfriend expects you to welcome her 10 year old son with open arms for the next 18 years, presumably. But she's unwilling to welcome your brother for probably a year, maybe two years, until

he gets his feet under him and then moves out. The hypocrisy out of this woman is unbelievable! I don't know, I can't tell if it's hypocrisy or just transphobia. Opie, I'm on your side. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your family three out of five buttholes. And your girlfriend also three out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my niece to keep it together until you can get the hell

out? I'm a 42 year old man, and I parted ways with my brother, who's also 42 a while ago based on differences of opinion, but he called me recently. He saw a video of his daughter, who's 16, slandering and insulting him on her friend's podcast. Apparently, he had been going behind his back and hanging out with people that he didn't like for years. I parted ways with my brother when my niece was only 5, and at that point, she already

liked me a lot more than him. And now, my brother wanted to talk to her about respect. Now, before I went to talk to her, my brother showed me a clip from the podcast in question and his daughter said, Oh yeah, I effing hate my dad. Trash human. No, like, he kept me from learning about being a mechanic. He says a woman doesn't need a degree, just an apron and a cookbook.

I asked him if he really behaved like that, and his answer boiled down to, well, yeah. I said nothing and waited until I met his daughter. I told her, move out as soon as possible. Your father is an absolute fool. And I wish I'd been there for you to correct him. When you've escaped, I'll support you as much as I can. Obviously, her father had a bit of a blow up. I said nothing and left as he seethed and called me a butthole.

Am I the butthole? Opie, this story is easy-peasy. Your brother is a trash human and I understand why you left him and why his daughter doesn't like him. I hope that you adopt your niece formally or informally, whatever. I just hope she moves in with you so she can get a decent father figure. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your brother gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was R slash am I the butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.