rSlash - r/AITA My White Friend: "Black People Can Only Date Black People"

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:09 Assigned bridesmaid 4:32 Crazy MIL 8:36 Salary talk 11:30 Bullying punishment 13:34 Insane bachelor party Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month Go to HelloFresh.com/50rslash and use code 50rslash for 50% off plus free shipping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tis the season for making memories with family and friends, so celebrate with Swiss Shalai's festive special, their famous quarter chicken dinner, now with cranberry sauce, stuffing, linda chocolates, plus a scratch and win card, or everyone's a winner. It's a tradition truly worth sharing. The festive special, only at Swiss Shalai, visit SwissShalai.ca for contest details, while supplies last. Welcome to R-Slash, Am I the Butthole? We're an entitled bride asserts that black people are only allowed to get married to other black people. Am I the Butthole for ditching my assigned bridesmaid at a wedding for one who's younger

and a different race is me? I ended up leaving the wedding party. One of my good friends from college, Tom, is getting married to his wife, Liz, and they asked me to be one of the groomsmen. I was honored. I haven't seen Tom in a while because I live across the country. When I arrived in Tom's city, I was assigned a bridesmaid. Kelly. Kelly is a lovely woman. However, I think that we were only assigned each other because we're both black. Liz starts telling

me that we're both single and perfect for each other, but there was nothing to indicate that at all besides us both being black. I should add as well that Liz had a lot more bridesmaids than Tom had groomsmen. The first night, the entire wedding party went out, and it became clear that Kelly wanted to hook up with me. I wasn't into her at all, so I kindly turned her down. She then starts interrogating me as to why, and I try to give her a generic answer, but she starts listing off all the reasons why we're so perfect together. I end up saying that I don't do the whole short-term relationship thing, and since we both live in completely different states, there's no future here.

She ends up cooling off, but then tells me that she respects me more for that, and that I'm a stand-up guy, and the type of guy that she's looking for. During the rest of the time that we were there, one of the other unmatched bridesmaids, Jin starts messaging me privately, and we hit it off. The next day, the wedding ceremony goes well. We have the reception and me and Kelly do our entrance together and then dance together for a bit. After a bit, I go to the bar and Jin and I start to dance. At this point, Kelly is giving me dirty looks. I just ignore it and continue to have a good time. Everything's going well until when I'm at the bar, Kelly and Liz confront me and start saying

that dancing with Jin is inappropriate. They start saying that she's too young for me and that it looks creepy. For what it's worth, I'm 32 and Jin is 24 about to turn 25. I'm like, oh, it's okay, me and Jin are just friends. At this point, Liz is angry with me and starts saying that Jin is in college. She's going for her masters. And that this is her wedding and that she doesn't want to see that. Then, Kelly starts saying that I must

have a fetish for white women? At this point, I realize that there is no logical argument I can make. I tell Kelly and Liz that I really enjoyed the wedding, but I need to go to bed early for the flight the next day. I leave and go up to my hotel. 15 minutes later, Jin leaves early. Five minutes after Jin came up, we both got kicked out of the wedding party chat. I later found out from Tom that Kelly was crying her eyes out. And this messed up the night for Liz as well. He told me that he's not mad at me because he told Liz from the start that Kelly was crying her eyes out. And this messed up the night for Liz as

well. He told me that he's not mad at me because he told Liz from the start that Kelly's not going to be my type. But instead, Liz really wanted to set Kelly up with me. At this point, I feel terrible that I made it so that Liz wasn't able to enjoy her special night. As for Kelly, I wish she understood that no means no. Okay, when I started reading this story, my assumption was that the bride was going to match people by race for the photos. So for all the wedding photos when the bride's made stands with the groom's men, there's like black people with black people and Asians for Asians, which is bad enough as it is.

But it didn't even occur to me that it went way, way deeper than that where they're saying, no, I don't want you to just pair up racially for the photos. I want you to pair up racially for life because you're black and she's black. What more could you possibly need? I mean, you're literally the same color, so you're perfect for each other.

These people are bonkers. Do these people think that race is literally the only important factor that black people have to be with black people and that if you want to be with a white person that's a fetish, huh? And then what's so bad about a 25 year old girl dancing with a 32 year old? It's not that big of an age gap and besides they're just dancing. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. Honestly, you sound like a really stand up guy.

You let down the other girl respectfully. You didn't argue with the bride in her wedding day. You just ducked out early. I think you handled this pretty much perfectly. As for Liz and Kelly, I'm giving them, I think, two out of five buttholes for just weird, racial, icky stuff that I don't really want to get into. Am I the butthole for giving my future mother-in-law three days to pay me for a new wedding dress or else I show the family a photo of her wearing it?

So I'm getting married to my fiance soon. I bought my wedding dress weeks ago. His mother, my future mother-in-law, kept pestering me about trying it on, but I firmly refused. I finally shut her down after she offered me a hundred bucks to let her try it on, but I firmly refused. I finally shut her down after she offered me a hundred bucks to let her try it on. Her reasoning for persisting so much, she says it's because of her love for wedding dresses and her obsession with them. Fast forward to yesterday. I came home from work early and I found my fiance at home. He freaked out after seeing me and tried to prevent me from going into my room while trying

to text somebody on his phone. I opened the door and was shocked to see his mom standing there wearing my dress. I instantly pulled out my phone and took a photo of her wearing it. She and my fiance freaked out after I told him that she had to pay me for a new dress in three days or else I'd show the whole family the photo. She started crying and then left, and my fiance blew up at me saying that I can't be serious and that I overreacted because his mom just wanted to try the dress on, no harm done. But I refused to listen to him because in my opinion the dress should only be worn by the bride and the bride only.

Quite frankly, I'm disgusted looking at the dress again. I don't want it anymore. And I think that it's fair that she pays me after she ruined it for me. My fiance yelled at me. He told me to wake up and stop treating his mom like that as if she wasn't enemy. We had a fight after he failed to get me to back down and he's been staying with his mom since then. I felt awful, but I spent $3,000 on this wedding dress and worked hard to get me to back down and he's been staying with his mom since then. I felt awful, but I spent $3,000 on this wedding dress and worked hard to get it. I can't stand looking at it, but people in my family will think that I'm escalating things and risking my relationship with not only my future mother-in-law but my fiance as well. Am I the butthole? Oh man. Opie, do you really want to get married to this guy?

As bad as what your future mother-in-law did, I think what your fiance did was worse. Because he's marrying you, so it's his job to protect you. He should be having your back, being in your corner, advocating for you. But instead, he's secretly sneaking his mom into your house to wear your wedding dress, which is obviously against your wishes and he knows it because he tried to stop you and do it in secret. Then when you're

the victim, he blames you and yells at you and then goes off to spend time with his mommy. Okay, maybe the solution here is to package up your wedding dress and send it to him so that he can spend time with his mommy while his mommy's wearing the wedding dress. Because it honestly looks like he's more interested in her feelings than yours. Oh man, this update! It was short so I didn't really give it much attention, but guys listen to this. My fiance called and offered to pay for the dress himself so that we can end the conflict, but he wants me to.

One, hand him my phone so that he can delete the photo himself. Two, swear that I don't have any copies to use against his mom later. Three, apologize to his mom. Four, and lastly, he asked me that I quit his family group chat and log out a Facebook for at least a month? Yo, okay, this got way, way worse. At first, I thought this was just him being defensive because he got caught doing something wrong.

So he was like, you know, when people get defensive, they blame people and they lash out, but this is next level abuse. This is awful, toxic controlling behavior. Oh, POPI, run for the hills, my girl, run. This guy did you a favor. This guy and your future mother-in-lawlaw the fact that they did this before the wedding instead of unleashing the full unrelenting crazy after the wedding did you a huge favor please run

OP run for the hills OP I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes I'm giving you're hopefully X fiance and you're hopefully X future mother-in-law let's say 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Metro links and cross links are reminding everyone to be careful, as Eglinton Cross-Town LRT train testing is in progress. Please be alert, this trains can pass at any time on the tracks. Remember to follow all traffic signals. Be careful along our tracks

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Yeah. Am I the butthole for calling my coworker a nosy beward after she kept insisting to know my husband's salary? My husband and I are both 33 and we've been together since college. Over the years, he's had quite a career trajectory. He's a portfolio manager and makes like 10 times what I make, and I make a pretty good salary. As we've grown wealthier, I've learned that people have become nozier. Friends, acquaintances, relatives, you name it. In the beginning, I would entertain the nozy questions, but since I turn

30, I've adopted a take-no-shit attitude. When people ask me how much he makes, I no longer say anything. I've learned the hard way that giving an exact number can have bad consequences. My coworker, who's 25, is new to the office, and she already has quite the reputation. Very chatty, catty, gossipy, you get the gist. You can just tell that she craves wealth and status. She wears a bunch of flashy designer items and is always asking the ladies around the office which of the men are single. Last Friday, our office hosted an afternoon happy hour. She approached me and asked me how my husband's recent vacation to Europe went.

I told her that it went well and I briefly summarized what we did. Then the conversation went something like this. So what is your husband do? He works in finance. Oh wow, he must make a ton then to be taking you on all these lavish vacations. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how much does he make in a year? Yeah, we're very lucky that he makes a good salary. I give a polite smile. Oh, come on, I won't tell anyone. How much does he rake in a year?

Millions? I'd rather not say, but it's up there. What, he doesn't allow you to give an exact number or something? No, I just prefer not to say. You'd think the stuck-up one would be the one with the money, not the one without. You should learn how to take no for an answer and win the quit being a nosy B word. It's a valuable lesson. Then I smiled at her and walked away. Later on, I had a few co-workers reach out to me and

say that she was crying and left early and that I should apologize for calling her a rude name. I refused. I told my mom and she said that I was too rude to the new girl and that she's young and might not fully understand salary talk. I think that she's old enough. My husband is fully on my side, but said that maybe I should fake apologize for the sake of office politics, which I somewhat agree with. But still, am I the butthole? This story seems pretty cut and dry, OP. You're entitled to your privacy, so if you don't want to share that information, you don't have to share it. Also, she's the one who started it, because you wrote that she laughed at

you, and then she said that insulting thanks to you, so you insulting her back is just returning the same energy. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving her 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for making my daughter miss once in a lifetime events, homecoming and senior prom, and delete all of her social media as punishment for bullying? Yesterday, I was informed that my daughter, Sam, was part of a group of students who bullied another girl to the point that she had to switch schools. There was a racial aspect to the bullying, which came as a complete shock since my wife and I truly did our best to raise our three kids to be kind and honest individuals. I don't believe that a grounding and a confiscation

of electronics is harsh enough for what Sam did. So I told Sam that she won't be allowed to participate in homecoming or attend senior prom. I also told her that she won't be getting a car for her 18th birthday. Finally, I told her that she'll have to delete all of her social media accounts with either me or her mother watching. Sam begged me to allow her to go to senior prom because it's a once in a lifetime event, and keep just her Instagram account because it had pictures going back years that weren't saved anywhere else. I told her that she shouldn't have been a racist bully. My parents are temporarily staying with us while their house is undergoing renovations. They agree that

what Sam did was completely out of line and must be punished, but they think that making my daughter miss homecoming and senior prom and forcing her to delete her social media is far, far too harsh. So I knew when I read this post that what was going to matter was the extent of the bullying because this is a really harsh punishment so we need to really harsh bullying to match it. And in this case, I think it is a match. Racially bullying a girl to the point that she has to switch schools is mega toxic.

Also, your daughter is upset because it's a once in a lifetime event. You know what else is a once in a lifetime event? Going to high school and enjoying your time as a high schooler without being called racial slurs. So if you ask me, the punishment fits the crime here. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your daughter 3.5 out of five buttholes. Based on this story, it sounds like she's either 16 or 17, which is definitely old enough to know better.

Am I the butthole for asking my sister what the F.C. expected to happen in her terrible Bachelorette party? I'm a 32 year old woman. For some reason, my 23 year old sister and her 25 year old fiance decided that the very best way to celebrate before getting married was to have a joined bachelor slash bachelor at party at strip clubs. They also hired a bus limo for the evening. The aftermath was thus far three breakups, four people dropping out of the wedding party, one impending divorce and one arrest., that must have been a hell of a party.

The cleaning bill for the limo was also more than the original rental fee. She was crying to her mom at dinner the other day, and I snorted. I tried not to, honestly, I did. I was trying my best to just keep my mouth shut. She asked me what was so funny. I said that I wasn't sure what she expected to happen, getting a group of people drunk, using elicit substances, and then getting horned up watching exotic dancers. She said that I was a butthole for judging her and her friends. I said that I wasn't judging, just that literally anyone could have seen

that outcome. My mom told me to apologize because my sister is having to replace most of her wedding party on the fly. I did apologize, but I still think that I'm in the right. Am I the butthole? OP, I do agree with you. You are right. This does sound like a recipe for disaster, but you know, you were kind of mean. So I'm giving you 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for being needlessly snarky. Your sister, I'm giving 0 out of 5 buttholes, she didn't do anything evil or cruel, she's just dumb. Yes, it is possible for a bunch of people to go to a joint bachelor slash bachelor at party,

but clearly it's not for this group of people. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.