rSlash - r/AITA My Wife is Addicted to Takeout

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Take out  6:56 MIL 9:08 Lunch 11:11 Life ruined 14:25 Pumpkin patch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash am i the butthole where OP's wife is literally addicted to fast food. Am I the butthole for completely cutting my wife off from our finances because she would not stop ordering takeouts? I'm a 41 year old guy and my wife is 39. My wife doesn't work due to a minor disability. It's not that she can't work, but she complains of discomfort and exhaustion the whole time. Our discussion about her working basically ended five years ago, and I've completely given up on the prospect of her never having a job again. Seeing how she doesn't even come close to qualifying for disability and brings in no

income, we currently live entirely off of my salary. I don't mind financially supporting her, but my wife's spending habits have gradually become more and more reckless. It began with her ordering takeout twice a week. And then that escalated into three times a week. And now she's ordering takeout nearly every day. This is all despite our fridge being stocked constantly. I do the shopping and I make sure to even keep our freezer full of things that she would only have to microwave.

Last month was a particularly heavy one for her. She spent, geez, $1,176 on delivery apps alone. We cannot afford this. There were several days that she ordered twice. I may have reacted harshly, but on Friday, I pulled money out of our savings, completely paid off the card, and then cancelled it. I then removed all the money from our joint account and funneled it to my own account. Apparently, my wife learned about this when she tried to order takeout. She tried to call the company, who explained that the card had been cancelled. She texted me asking what had happened and I responded that she was cut off. Well, when I walked in the door that evening...

... ... Excuse me. was cut off. Well, when I walked in the door that evening, my wife was lying on the floor dramatically saying, I have low blood sugar. I told her she could eat any of the food that we have in our fridge or freezer. I also noticed she had taken the garbage out, probably for the first time in a decade. I'm surprised she even knew where the outdoor bin was. I can only assume that she that she was disposing of the evidence of what she ate because she was pretending to have not eaten. But honestly, I don't care enough to dig through the garbage to find it. She was furious at me all weekend was what I did over the top. All right, let me do math next. 1176 times 12, that comes out to $14,000 a year on Takeout, which is crazy because Takeout

is the worst value proposition you could possibly get. I assume she's using like Uber Eats or Postmates. Yo, you guys, earlier I got a random craving for wings and my wife was like, oh, I'll order you some wings from you know Some wing place and so she just put in an order for a dozen wings and it was $40 for 12 wings and a couple of sauces 40 bucks look I get that ordering delivery is a nice occasional decadence But it's just such a waste of money. Oh P, I'm a thousand percent on your side.

I will say you probably should have talked to her first and said, hey, let's like, you know, recalibrate here before taking all the money out of the account. However, I can see your side of things. So I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, but I would not fight anyone who said that OP deserves like one or two out of five buttholes necessarily. I'm giving your wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. You know, I guess ultimately it depends on how much money OP makes, right? If $1,000 a month is not a big deal and that's how much OP spends on things that he likes, then I guess the wife is more justified.

But for most people, $1,000 a month is a lot of money. Then one week later, OP posted an update. For the following few days, my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. She threw several tantrums despite apparently being severely malnourished, threatening divorce, and she threw a bunch of food that we had in the fridge away to try to strong arm me into letting her get takeouts. And she even tried to guess my bank account password a bunch of times. Sorry, my password isn't Taco Bell 123. The last one was how I learned that if you try to guess someone's bank account password

enough times, the bank will send them an automated email. By last Friday, the complaints and threats stopped. She seemed mostly back to normal. I figured she had given up. That was until today, which was garbage day. When I took the last bag out before taking the bin down to the curb, I discovered half a dozen fast food bags and other takeout containers in it. My wife wasn't supposed to have access to money. I have no idea how she was affording all this food. I confronted her about it and at first she denied everything.

I had to bring inside all of her fast food garbage to get her to fess up. She- Yo what the hell! She had taken out a loan! Now at first I thought that she had borrowed money from a friend or a family member, but she had taken out one of the- one of those predatory payday loans. Before you ask, no, I have no idea how she was approved. Within the next hour, I froze my credit. I then drove her to the payday loan place where I paid off the loan in cash. I will now have to dip further into my savings to pay off the rent.

I suppose in a certain way, cutting her off was successful. She didn't order takeout anymore. She just drove to the restaurant to pick up her food for the low low price of $20 for every $100 she borrowed, or $60 in fees in total. In addition, I told her that we'd be getting divorce. So yeah, my marriage is over. I don't even know what alimony laws in my state are like, but I assume she'll happily live in a cardboard box under a bridge

if Uber Eats will bring her food there. Yo, this is starting to sound less like a spoiled, entitled wife and more like she has some kind of legitimate addiction. Man, I remember during COVID, my wife and I basically became shut-ins for about a year and a half. And we just sat inside watching reality TV and ordering takeout. And we spent so much money on takeout. But afterwards, we had to be like, yo, we've gone way overboard. We've gone crazy.

We're wasting too much money. We're getting a little pudgy around the midsection here, we gotta recalibrate and slow this down. So we did and now we order takeout maybe once or twice a month. So I'm hoping this woman can see the light and realize that her lifestyle has completely gone off the rails because, you know, lifestyle inflation does happen. But I think OP is making the right decision by breaking up with her because this woman is nutso. Am I the butthole because I told my mother-in-law that's all on her?

My five-year-old son's birthday is coming up and he wants a chocolate cake with chocolate icing. It's his birthday, so I said yes. My mother-in-law can be a selfish cow sometimes and my son was telling her that he's getting a chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. My mother-in-law said that she didn't like that so instead we should get something that we all like. My son said, it's not your birthday so you don't get a say. Normally this would be disrespectful, but we had a similar incident at a friend's birthday party. My son didn't like the cake flavor at that party and we had a discussion about how the birthday person gets to choose their cake flavor because it's their special day. When I told my mother-in-law the same thing that I told my son, she was shocked! I told her, when it's your birthday, you can get whatever flavor of cake you want.

My mother-in-law called me a B-word and my son a spoiled brat. So I told her, with that attitude, you won't be coming to the party. My husband was all WTF and tried to talk me into ordering his mom a cake that she would enjoy after our son and I were rude to her. I said, no, it's not her day and that just teaches our son to act entitled at other people's parties if we don't stick to the rules and etiquette that we explain to him. And it'll just make him confused, entitled, and spoiled. My husband saw the truth in that because our son was excited about his birthday cake for

his birthday and he now understands that not everything is about him. Other people get to enjoy their special event how they want to. In return, my son gets to enjoy his special event and occasions how he wants to. My mother-in-law doesn't seem to get that and wants my son to write her a sorry letter about what he did wrong. My husband and I don't feel like my son did anything wrong by repeating what his parents told him. My mother-in-law said that she's not coming to the birthday party or getting him a gift

without an apology note. I told my mother-in-law that that's on her. Yeah, this one's pretty easy. I'm giving the mother-in-law one out of five buttholes. But the real butthole here is the husband for not sticking up for his wife and his son, especially on his son's birthday. I'm giving him two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving after my in-law asked me to move out because I didn't cook

lunch one time? Two years ago, my sister passed away, leaving behind two boys, David who's 12 and Peter who's 7. My brother-in-law was struggling to juggle everything, and he was looking to hire a maid to help care for the kids. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising them when they're my blood, so I offered to step in. For two years, I've been taking care of them as if

they were my own. Every day I'd wake up early, make their breakfast, clean the house, do the dishes, wash their clothes, feed and care for the 50 chickens on the property, all while managing my own studies. I did it all without complaint. I wanted to because I loved them and I wanted to keep my sister's memory alive through them. One Sunday, after TWO YEARS of doing everything without a single mistake, I went out for a walk. I asked David, who's now 14, to prepare lunch, which was a simple meal. He said that he could manage and I trusted him.

This was the one day that my brother-in-law was off from work, so I thought that maybe he could help too. A few hours later, I got a call from my brother-in-law and to my shock, he told me to start looking for a new place because in his words, I wasn't helping enough. All because I asked David to handle one meal, one time in two years. I was crushed. I thought I'd done everything right, but apparently this one day was enough for him to decide that I wasn't good enough. I didn't argue or fight back. I packed my things and left quietly. Now my brother-in-law is angry that I left without a word. What? He told you to

leave and you left and now he's angry at you? This is just malicious compliance. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. You sound like an amazing caring sister and I'm shocked by how unbelievably ungrateful your brother-in-law is. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving him, uh, 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining a child's life? Today I started talking to an American mother while in A&E. Now for context, I don't know what A&E is here guys, so your guess is as good as mine. Her child was interested in the artwork that I have on my leather jacket, as it's pretty

colorful. The mother mentioned that her daughter's name was Grain, so I assumed for a while that she was another mother who wanted something special to call her child. I remarked that that was a unique name and that I'd never met anyone called Grain before. She told me that she's named after her great-grandmother and that it's an Irish name. At this point, the alarm bells are ringing in my head because I've realized that the kid is called Grain, which the Irish generally

pronounce as Gru-nya or thereabouts. I tried to be tactful and I was like, Irish has such an interesting alphabet. How's her name spelled? Irish names can be tricky. She spelled it out. G-R-A-I-N-N-E. So, yeah, it's Gru-nya, not Grain. My partner, who understands the context, was stuck somewhere between stifling a laugh and

dying of embarrassment on the kid's behalf. So I came up with what I thought was a very positive reply. I said, ah, an old school name with a modern pronunciation. I think that's a great way to pick names. I was trying to be tactful and positive. The lady asked what I meant and I said, well, in Ireland they typically pronounce that spelling gruny. Her face went red and said that I shouldn't have said the pronunciation was wrong in front of the kid because now she's going to grow up knowing her name is wrong and feel bad about it.

I apologized for causing offense and restated that it's a lovely name in both ways and a fantastic nod to her heritage. I said that I'm sure her great grandmother would be thrilled to be honored by her name being used. I was throwing out just about every positive reinforcement I could think of, but to be frank, the lady was still pissed off. She told me that I ruined her daughter's self-esteem and that her life was ruined by me saying that her existence was wrong. Which I did not say, by the way. All I said was that her name was pronounced atypically.

Little Grain, or Little Groonya, however you want to put it for context, is a two-year-old girl and completely unbothered by the conversation until her mother got angry at me. The kid was just looking at the pictures on my jacket. The conversation was maybe five minutes long, but I managed to ruin this kid's life. Hindsight says that I should have kept my mouth shut and waited for somebody else in the city to say something. And in an edit, OP clarifies that they live in the UK, which is a city with lots of Irish people, an Irish center, and a great Irish folk scene. Yeah, OP, you just had the misfortune of being the first person to point this out to her. Honestly, the lady should be thanking you because at age two, that's early enough that she could change the pronunciation to the correct way and the kid probably wouldn't even be bothered by it.

You get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the mom 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. change the pronunciation to the correct way and the kid probably wouldn't even be bothered by it. You get 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving the mom 0.5 out of 5 buttholes. I think realistically she's not really a bad person, she just got embarrassed and reacted in a really stupid way. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter, yeah I get it, you hate him, when her dad went on a father-daughter trip? So I'm a 42 year old woman and I have two daughters, Emma who's 17 and Lucy who's 10.

The issue revolves around my husband, who's Emma's stepfather. Emma's dad passed away when she was younger and I remarried three years ago. She and my husband don't get along at all and she makes it clear that she dislikes him. My husband has tried to bond with her, but Emma shuts him out completely, refuses to talk and ignores him. We all know that she will never see him as a father figure, and we're fine with it. Here's where it gets tricky. When Emma was younger, her biological dad would take her on father-daughter outings.

We have a lot of pictures of those. Lucy was too young to remember any of them. We thought it would be nice to do again, since Lucy does see her stepdad as her father. Specifically, they would go to a pumpkin patch and then carve the pumpkins. They went to the pumpkin patch yesterday and had a great time. Lucy and my husband really bonded and had a good time. The issue is Emma. She's pissed that her stepdad took over the tradition with Lucy, that my husband stole the tradition and I'm disrespecting my late husband's memory. I was exhausted from hearing the same arguments over and over.

So I snapped and said, yeah, I get it, you hate him, but your sister sees him as her dad and doesn't have these memories like you do. Are you really going to ruin this for your sister? And no one owns going to a pumpkin patch. She's been pissed and calling me an insensitive jerk. She's also getting on Lucy's case for going with my husband. My mom thinks that I'm a jerk here and I need an outside opinion. I don't want to be too harsh on Emma because she's a 17 year old girl and you know, she's

doing what every 17 year old person does, you know, she's doing what every 17 year old person does, which is to be over dramatic and emotional and make it about themselves. You know, not to bash any 17 year olds who are listening to this because that's what I was like when I was 17 too. So Emma's just a silly teenager being a silly teenager. I'm giving her, let's say, 1.5 out of 5 buttholes and everyone else gets 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was r 0 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you liked this content be sure to follow my

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