rSlash - r/AITA My Wife Killed My Dog

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:05 Marriage 3:29 Trust 6:18 Breeding 10:47 Dog 12:39 Cooking Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Am I the butthole for unintentionally causing co-worker's marriage? Am I the butthole for unintentionally causing my co-worker's marriage to implode? I'm a 32 year old guy and I need to know if I'm the villain here. Two to three years ago, I worked shifts with a married co-worker, Crystal who's 33, who has a husband and a kid. Because it's always just the two of us who are available for shifts consistently, over months she would vent to me daily about her marital issues, fights, resentment, and petty drama. I stayed neutral, even defended her husband every time. No flirting, no texting outside of work, never shared my own problems. It was strictly one-sided, and no, there was no physical contact even once. Then during one shift, I snapped and opened up about my abusive fiance, now my ex. That morning, when I was clearly

looking stressed, Crystal asked, what do you do to relieve stress? I responded bluntly with, jerk off, while walking away. Not a great answer. Later in the afternoon, she asked why I was still upset and I vented vaguely. Her response was, why don't we have fun tonight? You're stressed, I'm stressed too with him. Man, she propositioned me for an affair! I shut that down immediately! But later that night, she texted a photo of herself in a see-through nightgown which her private parts clearly showed, and said, maybe you need one, and asked if I was alone. I replied, are you crazy? And ignored it.

The next day, her husband found out. Turns out, she sent the picture to me as revenge because he had been texting his ex, and his ex sent a photo, but not as revealing as she sent to me. Her excuse? He did it first. Now her marriage is in shambles. Her husband, whom I collaborated with and respected, is humiliated and barely speaks to me. Co-workers are gossiping about her, but some think that I was too friendly with her. Here's where I might be the butthole. I let her trauma dump on me for months non-stop. Maybe I enabled emotional intimacy that crossed lines. I vented about my ex once, which unknowingly she used to justify her advances. Her marriage has

never been the same again and I feel indirectly responsible. But I also think I never flirted, encouraged her or crossed boundaries. She chose to cheat, I rejected her immediately. Was I just being a decent listener even though I'm not or did I screw up by not shutting her down sooner? So did I destroy a marriage? OP, you're kind of beating yourself up for not handling this perfectly and I agree that you didn't handle this perfectly. However, I think you handled it pretty well.

You know, you're not a trained psychologist, so you can't expect it to have the perfect answer to every single random encounter with your coworkers. Your coworker vented and you listened. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. The real problem is that Crystal consistently sabotaged her marriage. There was a big difference between saying, uh, I'm so stressed, versus, uh, I hate my husband and I wish I had another dick to hop onto. So I can understand why you're beating yourself up, OP, but I think you should give yourself some more grace. I'm giving you zero

out of five buttholes. You did the best you could. I'm giving your coworker 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister that I don't trust her to watch my son? I'm a 19 year old man with a three month old son. His mother surrendered her rights and is no longer in the picture. I work 4 a.m. to 12 p.m. at a gas station and I raise my son. That's what I do these days. Only one of my friends still speaks to me and hangs out with me. I live at home with my parents and sister who's 21 and pay a small rent each month. I can't afford to move out with the baby. My parents help me when they can.

My sister does not like my son. She once told me she thinks he's an annoyance and a hindrance. If he cries, she complains. If there's baby clothes in the laundry, she complains. Basically, the baby exists and that pisses her off. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying my best to be a good dad. My sister has never offered to help with the baby beyond holding him briefly, and she hasn't done that more than about 4 or 5 times since he was born.

The other day my friend called me and offered me a really great opportunity for some side work. He works construction, and they needed an extra guy for some installation work. For four hours, I'd get 400 bucks. I jumped at it. Any extra money could only help. I started trying to find a babysitter. My sister was hanging out in the living room while I walked around the house on the phone. I managed to find a sitter who said she didn't want to be paid and I went to get the baby ready. My sister asked me why I didn't ask her when she was sitting right there. I told her I didn't think that she'd want to since she had never offered to help before. She told me this was different, this was for work and not just me wanting to sleep or whatever.

And he was about to go down for his nap and he's pretty easy when he first wakes up, so she told me it wouldn't be a problem. I asked her why she didn't say something between phone calls and she said she didn't think she needed to because we're family and family asks each other for help. I reminded her of all the times she'd complained about the baby and me and called him names, and told me she wished he'd never been born, and asked her why she thought that I would ever trust her with my son. She started crying and told me that wasn't fair, and I needed to remember that the whole

house was dealing with the baby, and she was just having a hard time adjusting, but she'd never do anything to hurt him. I told her she should have spoken to me about her feelings instead of acting like a child. Then I took my son and left. When I got home, both my parents set in on me because my sister told them I'd accused her of bad intentions to the baby. Am I the butthole for being honest when my sister offered to babysit? OP, your sister is clearly only interested because she sees the

opportunity for a payday. I wouldn't trust your sister with a half-eaten sandwich, let alone a little baby. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for sending my little sister a vet bill after she tried to get my horses to breed? I'm a 33-year-old old woman and I'm a horse breeder and own 10 horses. I have a little sister who's 19, who was a surprise baby for my parents. They didn't think that they could have more kids after me,

so she's quite babied even now. They begged me to take her on to help her get some work and I agreed, but made it clear that she'd have to work hard and there would be no slacking. She's generally been fine with it and enjoys being around the horses, though I do have to light a fire under her butt at times to get her to keep working. The problem, however, arose when a local animal rescue asked me to help them. They had a stallion surrender to them and they didn't have the capabilities to take

care of him. I had room, so I agreed to take him. I've also arranged a full genetic testing on him to ensure that he's alright as it seems like he was gotten through backyard breeders. I've also made an appointment to get him gelded as I don't know enough about him to risk him not being gelded. For those who don't know, gelding a male horse means castrating it. He has his own paddock and is kept in a separate stable than my own horses just to be safe.

I am slowly socializing him, but I'm taking no risks. I've been letting my sister sit in on my breeding planning for 2025, and my main stars are going to be Dante and Willow. They've had four successful and healthy foals who are going to go into dressage. I know they work well together and Willow has had a two year break so she'll be ready to go again this year. The first warning bell I overlooked was that my sister asked about the new stallion and when I'd be breeding him. I explained that he would not be bred as there was too many

unknowns, I don't know his health and I don't have a good enough grasp of his temperament. She protested that he was pretty though, prettier than Dante, and I explained that there was more to this than looks. I thought she understood, and I didn't think further on this. Yesterday, an emergency came up, and I had to leave my sister alone for an hour. I told her she could take an hour break. When I came back, I found, to my horror, that she had put Willow into the paddock with the new stallion. I asked

her what the F she was doing, and she told me she just thought they'd work well together and she was doing me a favor. I got Willow out of there, but not before the new stallion bucked and reared quite a bit from stress. I got Willow out of there, then set about calming him down. I told my sister to go home and not come back. I shouted at her quite a bit. I then had a vet come out and check them both fully to ensure that they hadn't hurt each other. My one relief is that Willow isn't in estrus yet.

I had the bill sent to my sister at my parents' house. They called me today in a panic asking what the hell this was. When they explained, they told me that I was being unfair and that she didn't understand. That she couldn't pay this and was being cruel and my sister was crying. I told them she did understand, she just didn't care. That she could pay or they could pay but that I wasn't. They're freaking out over how they'll afford this. Am I taking it too far?

Down in the comments, people who are way more familiar with horses than I am are pointing out that this could have literally killed the mare. I'm not sure how exactly, I guess the male horse would potentially kick the female horse and kill it. But I don't really know.

So I am definitely on your side, OP. But I don't know if I agree with sending the bill to your sister because I don't want to live in a world where employers send bills to their employees. That feels super icky. So from an employer slash employee relationship, no, I don't like this at all. But from an older sister, younger sister relationship, this does feel appropriate, so I'm really not sure what the correct thing to do here. Still, your sister way overstepped her bounds and there should be consequences.

I just can't figure out who should be responsible for the bill here. Dude, imagine you go to McDonald's to start a job and on your first week because you don't know what you're doing because it's your first week, you accidentally break the cash register and then your boss tries to get you to buy a new cash register. That would suck. Also, down in the comments, OP clarifies that the bill is £1100. Anyways, OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your sister 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for giving my wife an ultimatum about getting a dog? I had a dog when my wife and I got married.

I loved my dog. She was my buddy. When my wife got pregnant, she became increasingly paranoid that the dog would be a danger to the baby. She brought up rehoming and I refused. My dog is an aggressive breed, but she was trained. One day, my wife called me crying at work that the dog ran away and she couldn't run after her. I believed her. I looked for that dog for weeks.

I finally just accepted it because we had to go to the hospital to welcome our child and there were other pressing concerns. It's been five years since and we now have three children. I've wanted to get a new dog, but the kids take a lot of energy and time. My wife has always had a new excuse not to get another dog. I found out recently that my dog didn't run away. My wife and her father took her to the dog pound while I was at work, because her parents agreed with her about the dog being dangerous. I'm furious. She was my dog, my baby. She wasn't dangerous. I would have never agreed to that. She probably never got adopted. I'm honestly mad enough to consider a separation if not for

the kids and practical reasons. I've told her that the only way to make it up, even a little bit, is for us to get a dog. She ultimately doesn't want a dog at all and complained that she would have to do too much with it. I am not planning to let up on this one this time. The top post is not the butthole. Get a dog after your divorce, dude. Yeah, I just don't see how you could possibly trust your wife after this. She lied to your face for five years. I just couldn't live with someone like that. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your wife 3.5 out of five buttholes. Maybe four out of five? Am I the butthole for making my coworker a separate meal after she insulted my cooking? I work in a small office where we do a potluck style lunch once a week. I love cooking, so I usually bring something homemade. For context, I'm Thai, and a lot of what I make has strong flavors. Think garlic, fermented fish sauce, chili, shrimp paste, that kind of thing. Most of my coworkers love it.

Kate, though, has always been weird about it. She's made little comments before, like, wow, that's pungent, or your food is so intense. Once, when I brought in som tam, which is green papaya salad, she wrinkled her nose and said, ugh, why does it smell like that? Like, it smells like lime and chili. Sorry it's not a turkey sandwich, Kate. The worst was when she asked me if I grew up eating bugs and I kind of laughed it off because I was so caught off guard. But she kept going, talking about how she saw a documentary about Thai people eating crickets and how it must be normal for me. I told her, as evenly as I could, that yes, some people eat insects, but it's not like I was raised munching on tarantulas for breakfast. She got all flustered

and said she didn't really mean it like that. Anyway, last month I made Khao Soi for Potluck, the northern Thai curry noodle soup. Everyone seemed to love it, except Kate, who took one bite, made a face, and said, Oh, this is strong. Then she laughed like it was a joke, but she barely touched her bowl. Later, I overheard her telling someone that it was too much spice and too many smells at once. So, a few weeks later, when it was my turn to cook again, I made my usual dish, plus a plain grilled chicken breast with some steamed veggies and a little cup of ranch dressing.

No seasoning, no strong smells, etc. I left a note for Kate since I know she prefers something simple. She was pissed, said I was singling her out and making her look bad. I told her I was just trying to be accommodating the way she seemed to want. Some co-workers thought that I was being hilarious. Others said that I was being passive aggressive. Honestly, maybe I was. Am I the butthole? So to be clear, yeah, this was definitely a passive aggressive note. The question is, is it a warranted passive aggressive note? Is it a fair note? And I would say yes to both counts because Kate started it.

So if she's going to be snarky to you, that opens the door for you to justifiably be snarky back. Honestly, this feels less like she doesn't like your food and more like she doesn't like you and she's trying to do these weird microaggressions to put you down. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving Kate one out of five buttholes. Also, who doesn't like Thai food? Pad Thai is delicious.

That was r slash amythebutthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.