rSlash - r/AITA My Wife Left Me for an Alpha Male

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:09 Alpha male 8:37 Just a friend 11:40 Co worker 13:57 Birthday dinner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's episode is sponsored by Stitch Fix. I'm a straight dude and I'm very stereotypical in the sense that I do not like shopping. I hate to shop for clothes all the time, but the process can be so tedious. Lines, going to different stores, picking out clothes, but I don't know what I want. That's why I'm personally a big fan of Stitch Fix. With Stitch Fix, you simply have to go through a one-time quiz to give your size, style, and budget preferences. From there, a professional stylist who actually has a sense of taste in fashion, unlike me, will pick just for me pieces and send them to me and also send outfit recommendations and styling tips. I keep what I want and send back the rest. Easy peasy.

It's kind of like having your own personal stylist except even better because I don't have to go see and talk to my own personal stylist. It's all online. Stitchfix is the best way to shop for clothes for people like me who don't like to shop for clothes. Make style easy. Get started today at Stitchfix.com slash r slash. That's Stitchfix.com slash r slash. Welcome to r slash Am I the Butthole where OP's cheating wife realizes that alpha males

aren't as great as they seem. Am I the butthole for not taking my ex-wife back after she left me for an alpha male? I'm a 29 year old guy and my ex-wife is 30. She wants to get back with me after she left me about a year and a half ago. I'd been with my ex for seven years, married for five. It felt like love at first sight, and everything felt so natural when we met. After about two years of dating, we decided to tie the knot. Not soon after, we welcomed our baby boy, who's now four. He was a pandemic baby, so my wife ended up quitting her job, while I continued working

as a line cook and started doing uber eats on the side. After things went a bit back to normal, my wife told me she doesn't want to be one of those women who lose their passion after settling down. So she went back to finish law school and take her bar. Of course, I wholeheartedly supported her and we tried to make it work. After she passed the bar, she immediately got hired at a firm downtown through the help of her friend, Dumbo, a 33 year old woman. This is where the problem started.

From the get go, my wife began making good money. Good enough that she told me to quit my job and take care of our son full time as she won't have the time. I said no, I loved my job. Cooking was my passion and I even worked my way up to a full-fledged chef. My biggest regret in our marriage had to have been her talking me into quitting. But I did and became a stay-at-home dad. Slowly, our marriage life began deteriorating as she started to pull away. She'd work long hours and barely spend any time with us.

She'd go out drinking to network with her colleagues on weekends. Sometimes even go out of town. At home, she'd always just be pissy with me. It's like her personality did a complete 180. This wasn't the sweet, nurturing girl that I fell in love with all those years ago. Our intimacy became almost non-existent. After going through therapy, I can now see that I'm to blame as well. I should have communicated better and shared how I felt. Luckily, the highlight through this was my son. Seeing him grow and being there for a lot of his firsts made everything feel like it'll

be okay. One day, she finally came up to me and asked for a divorce. I was not surprised. I felt everything was eventually going to came up to me and asked for a divorce. I was not surprised. I felt everything was eventually going to lead up to this, but I still didn't want to give up. I asked if she's sure about this, or if she wants to make it work. I recommended couples counseling or temporary separation. She declined both those offers and told me she found someone else.

Hearing this shattered me. Her changing and us growing apart I can understand. But never once would I have thought that she would be the type to even entertain other men. She told me it's some partner at her firm. When did my life become a Korean romcom? She told me that he invited her out a couple of times and showed her the life of luxury that she deserves. We argued for a bit and she told me that he's twice the man as me. She called me feminine for being a stay-at-home dad. Meanwhile, she was working hard and bringing home the money. But I was like, what? Me quitting was your idea. And what about me working two jobs during the pandemic? To her, those weren't real jobs.

I was a delivery driver and a cook. Wow! She told me this new guy is an alpha male who knows a woman's needs and how to take care of her. She bragged about how tall and muscular he is, how he has a real job, and took her on weekend getaways that she told me were work related. And here's the kicker, he's such a man he doesn't want to make things official until me and her are separated. I almost laughed at how delusional my ex had become. I asked her what about our son and she said, I can have him.

He likes me better anyways. I think this hurt the most. I couldn't believe she said that about her own son. Throwing him away like he's some object. For the first time I couldn't recognize the person in front of me. I won't lie, I did let the anger get the best of me and said some hurtful things back. I could tell she was taken aback by this. Probably because I almost never get that angry. She turned around and left. After she left, I cried my eyes out for two weeks hoping she'd call and come back.

I don't know, I didn't love her anymore, but life without her felt so scary. The only thing that kept me going was my son. I knew I couldn't turn to the bottle or go down this dark path because of him. I managed to beg for my job back and they rehired me for some weeknights only, which was better than nothing. I spent the next months just putting my head down and working in silence. The divorce proceedings were moving quickly and before I knew it, it was official. The worst part about this was I felt like I had no support system.

On social media, everyone was praising her for being this strong, independent woman who broke free of some metaphoric shackles. Like I was some villain holding her back. And not a single person messaged me to ask how I was doing. And thank god they didn't, cause this is what made me want to try therapy and I haven't looked back since. For all those who are unsure about therapy, I'm telling you, it works. Now fast forward to this week.

I received a phone call from an unknown number and when I picked it up, it was my ex on the other line bawling. She told me how her alpha male boyfriend found someone else and she's too afraid to confront him because he's a partner at her firm. She finally explained her perspective and how everything led to this point. Basically, my ex has admittedly always been really pretty and a social butterfly. After she had our son and the pandemic hit, she felt ugly and insecure, even if I told her she was pretty. So I guess when she got her job, she got the validation she wanted. Of course, feeding into these delusions was Dumbo,

who recently had divorced her husband and poisoned my ex's thoughts with how I'm a failure as a man, how my ex is way prettier than me and she deserves someone of her standards. Apparently I'm a beta male who rolls over and is stopping her from being free. She said a lot more specific stuff too that I think I'll keep to myself here, but it was definitely an eye-opening conversation. I shouldn't have pushed my ex away to be vulnerable enough to listen to Dumbo, but still, after hearing all this, I was really just disappointed more than anything. That she would be stupid enough to listen to Dumbo. But still, after hearing all this, I was really just disappointed more than anything. That she would be stupid enough to throw everything away on some whim and peer pressure. My ex asked me if we could try again.

She told me how much she misses me and how she took me and all I did for her for granted. For example, I always made her lunch in the morning, made sure she's up to date with her pills and so on. She misses those little things. I admit to telling her that I missed her too, and I know our son does for sure, but she did make every decision herself. And what if things worked out with the other guy? I'm not some consolation prize she can come running back to. She cried and told me that she wanted me back a week after she left, but was too prideful to call. I firmly told her no and hung up.

Since then, my phone's been blowing up from friends and family that I'm heartless, that my wife was vulnerable and taken advantage of, and instead of picking up the pieces and helping her, I'm leaving her to fend for herself. Not gonna lie, that message hurt the most. I respect her father a lot, so I heard him out. He wants me to come over for a resolution slash intervention this weekend and bring my son. They just want a conversation to hear both sides and see if it really is resolvable.

I am attending, but I'm gonna stay firm with my answer. But all the recent messages have been making me rethink my stance. I just want to make sure that I'm not in the wrong before I attend. So am I the butthole? Me personally, I could never get back with a cheater, but what really gets me is that she would just walk away from her own son. That to me would just instantly transform any sort of love or lingering affection I might have for this person into disgust.

OP, I say move on. You get zero out of five buttholes. Your wife gets four out of five buttholes and all of her supporters get three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for leaving my boyfriend after finding a woman in our bed? So I'm a 26 year old woman and I'm going on a trip to London with my sister today. I've been staying with her since yesterday because she lives close to the airport. I realized I forgot my passport at my apartment where my boyfriend and I live together.

He's 27. And I had to go back and get it so I did. I texted him this morning to let him know I was coming back to get my passport, but he didn't respond. When I got there, he looked really antsy and suspicious. I went into our bedroom and found a woman I don't recognize lying in our bed, fully clothed. I just went on autopilot, grabbed my passport, told him we're over and left. Now my boyfriend is blowing up my phone saying that the woman is his long time friend and that she's a lesbian who just needed a place to crash for the night. I don't believe him because he's never mentioned anything about her staying over while I was

gone and the whole situation feels off. He's saying I'm making a huge mistake and that he's telling the truth, but honestly I'm just really hurt and confused. He's begging me to hear him out and is apologizing, but the whole situation is not right. So am I the butthole for leaving him? Should I believe his explanation or is my gut telling me the truth? We just signed the lease two months ago and I'm literally leaving the country today, so it's a horrible and stressful situation. Then OP posted an update. I went to London with my sister.

I told my ex I wouldn't be speaking to him and I enjoyed our girls trip. As soon as I returned to the USA, I went and got tested for STIs. And turns out he gave me Chlamydia! I'm being treated for it now, but I'm going to see the gynecologist soon because I'm not sure how long I've had it. I'm treated for it now, but I'm going to see the gynecologist soon because I'm not sure how long I've had it. I'm asymptomatic. I last tested negative for all STIs in July 2023, right before I started seeing my ex. He's the only person I've been with since then, so he obviously gave it to me.

I am worried that he's had it the entire time, and so have I. But I'm trying not to overthink the cheating timeline of Chlamydia, I want to focus on my health. He never admitted to cheating. We're still broken up, and I don't plan on going back to him. Since we just signed a brand new lease back in February, we're discussing what to do about the apartment. I have been staying with my sister since we got back, so I'm thankfully not stuck in

the apartment without a support system. Yeah, this post is so clearly not the butthole that I don't really think this is an r slash am I the butthole post? I think OP just went into Vince, which is understandable because this is a terrible situation. It's bad enough the boyfriend has to cheat. But can you at least come up with a more believable lie? Oh, that's just my lesbian best friend that you've never heard about.

And she wants a place to crash. So, of course course I'm letting her crash in my bed that I sleep in. We'll probably sleep next to each other, no big deal because she's a lesbian after all. Oh, God. It would have been more believable if you said she was there to fix the plumbing. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your cheating ex 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for

publicly telling my ex-co-worker that I don't like them? I'm a 32-year-old woman and I ran into an ex-co-worker, Sarah, who's 31, at a bar while I was out with friends celebrating my birthday. We worked together for two years at a fast food restaurant. I left this job in January 2025. She was a shift lead and I've never liked her. I didn't like her management style or her personality. She came up to me at the bar and we had a 10 minute conversation. I thought that it was cordial and polite. She was mostly asking me questions about my new job. She asked if I would recommend her for a job at my new company. I have a job at a call center, nothing glamorous. I told her that I wasn't comfortable with that.

She brushed it off with a bad joke. I ended the conversation and walked to the table my friends were at and Sarah follows me. I didn't notice until I got to the table and she sat down next to me. My friends introduced themselves and I, without thinking, said something along the lines of, I don't like you, can you please leave? I have autism and I could tell that was NOT the correct thing to say. Everyone seemed uncomfortable and Sarah was visibly shocked and upset.

My friends were shocked and confused. They assumed that Sarah was a friend or someone I invited to the table. They had zero context of who Sarah is. Sarah made a scene and told me that I was rude, a B word, and a bunch of other things. She said that I embarrassed her. She embarrassed herself by following me to my table uninvited.

And yes, she knew it was my birthday. I do feel bad, and I know that I could have formulated a polite response, but she's a former coworker and an unpleasant one. I have many stories about her, but the worst examples is that she made jokes about my autism and deafness multiple times. She's fake nice and her friendship style is bullying people.

She has a really icky vibe. I don't know what Sarah wanted from me. I wasn't going to hang out with her, especially not on my birthday. So am I the butthole for telling her bluntly that I don't like her? Nah, I'm on your side, OP. Sounds like Sarah needs a reality check. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Sarah 2 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for walking out of my own birthday dinner after my fiance's little surprise? So last night was my 28th birthday. My fiance, Brian, planned this surprise dinner at a really nice restaurant with my friends and some of my family. I'm not huge on big attention, but I thought, okay, maybe he's doing something thoughtful for once. Dinner's going fine, food's good, I'm chilling. And then right before dessert, Brian stands

up and starts doing this whole speech about how he's proud of me and how he got me a gift that'll change my life. Then he says he paid off my student loans. At first, I was in shock. I actually tiered up. Everyone clapped. My mom was crying. I was about to stand up and hug him, then he adds that he only paid off half of it and the other half is on me because he wants me to learn how to be financially responsible and not rely on other people to fix my problems. Like what? He basically turned my birthday into a public lecture. People were laughing like it was some cute life lesson.

My cousin was like, damn, that's tough love. I just sat there frozen. Then I stood up, took my purse and walked right out. He came running after me like what's wrong? He was trying to be helpful and he didn't mean to upset me. I told him he embarrassed me, used my debt to make a point in front of everyone and I wasn't in the mood to be someone's teachable moment. Now, a few people are saying I overreacted and he meant well. If you want to help, just help. Don't use it to humiliate me in front of 20 people. Really weird behavior. Like, I don't want the story to take away from what he actually did because he spent presumably tens of thousands of dollars on paying off the debt, which is a really generous gesture.

But why would you do that? And then, you know, it's like, why would you do something so nice and then immediately turn it into an insult? It like taints the entire nice thing you did in the first place. It kind of feels like the whole point of the birthday dinner wasn't to celebrate you, but instead to celebrate how great and benevolent and smarter he is than you. So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your fiance 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.