rSlash - r/AITA Overweight Karen Attacked Me Because I'm Skinny

Episode Date: January 29, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:07 Affair family 2:49 Naming 4:20 Comments 4:41 Support 7:14 Skinny 10:30 Birthday dinner 14:04 Lifelong dream Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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My deadbeat father walked out on me, my mom, and my sister when I was 5 years old. I'm currently 21. He had a whole affair with this woman and he wanted to be with her. He had nothing to do with us. He didn't even... Jesus. He didn't even come to my sister's funeral two years later. He never went to see her when she was in the hospital and never paid for anything. He resisted child support like crazy. When it became clear that my deadbeat dad wasn't going to help at all and had no intention of even paying, his parents, who had a strange relationship with him, stepped up and provided for us when we needed it.

They also said that I would be the one to inherit when they passed away. They had this set up from the time that I was 10 years old. So my deadbeat dad gets nothing and the other kids that he had with his affair partner get nothing either. I knew when my deadbeat had other kids. I've never considered them siblings. My sister died when we were just kids and she will forever be my only real sibling. I grew up having zero to do with him or his affair family.

Then last year, he reached out to me because he was diagnosed with cancer and wanted to reconcile. I refused to even answer him, but he went to my grandparents and they told him I wanted nothing to do with him, not even on his deathbed. They hadn't had a real relationship with him in a decade at that point, but when they heard that he was sick, they did reply and part of them hoped that it would mean that he'd back off me. My deadbeat now knows about the inheritance stuff and the fact that my grandparents have found a way that they can't sue for anything, but they get nothing from the estate. Even if my deadbeat were alive, he'd get nothing, but he'll be dead before them.

This made him reach out to me and he begged me to make sure that his affair family are okay when he dies. He told me that he and his affair partner made bad choices in the past, and he wants to be sure his kids will be fine. I ignored him at first, and then he pestered me about it, so I replied that I want nothing to do with his affair family and won't help ever. He got hysterical via text about this and told me his family is innocent and I should try to know them and help them if they ever need it. Am I the butthole?

OP, the moment this guy decided not to come to your sister's funeral, to me he would just be dead to me forever. I would never talk to him, I would never look at him, I wouldn't listen to him freak out on text. I would just cut him out of my life for eternity. So you are 100% justified. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your dad, if you can even call him that, 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to demote my dog after my sister gave her baby the same name? I'm a 26 year old woman and I have a dog named Charlie. Charlie is a golden retriever that I adopted four years ago and he's my best buddy. My sister Emily, who's 29, recently had her first child, a baby boy. She and her husband named him

Charlie. At first I thought that it was funny and didn't really think much of it. But then Emily pulled me aside during a family gathering and said that it was confusing and disrespectful for me to keep calling my dog Charlie now that her son has the same name. She asked me to rename my dog. I told her, no! Charlie's been his name for four years, he knows it, responds to it, and it's on all of his paperwork. Changing it would be weird for him and me."

She got really upset and said that it's not fair for her son to share a name with a dog, especially in family settings. She thinks it'll lead to jokes and confusion as her son grows up. My parents have weighed in, and while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me to change my dog's name, my mom says that I should just consider it to keep the peace. Now, Emily's barely speaking to me, and a few family members think that I'm being stubborn. I have no idea how I'm in the wrong here. The world's gone crazy. I love my dog, and I didn't name him despite anyone. I also think it's not my fault they chose a name already in use in the family. Am I the butthole? The comments on this one are predictably pretty good.

Gloria of the 80s says, There was a post years ago about a guy who had a cat named Nigel and his sister or his roommate started dating someone named Nigel. So they called the cat Nigel and the guy Human Nigel. Tissier says, Suggest that she changes her son's name to Spot or Rover. Or adopt a second dog and name it Emily. Am I the butthole for no longer giving support to my wife's family after I became successful

with my own company after they talked down about me? I'm in my early 30s and my wife is in her mid-20s who grew up in a fairly poor environment. Her grandpa had money, but her mom didn't and her sister doesn't. My wife has an incredibly strong work ethic. She's probably more so defined as a workaholic. When I first met her, I was trucking, making about 50-70k a year. Since then, I developed a niche for a specialty marketing field and became very good at it. All my friends encouraged me to go into business for myself with

a marketing company. My wife was fully supportive of this, even after we discussed the financial difficulties we would have for the first year or so due to a limited budget. I made sure she knew that some months I may not get a check from the business. Her family, however, was not supportive. They accused me of neglecting my family, being lazy, and not wanting to work. They would constantly bring up the fact that I didn't have a job because I was always home, working remote. My wife would defend me, but they would ignore it and continue to call me lazy and a deadbeat for putting my daughter in daycare while I worked from home. I was still driving a truck part time to have steady, reliable income, but it was only half

of what I was making on a good week. In the last year, however, I've grown my income from my business beyond what I was making in trucking and have very little overhead. Since we cut costs when I first started, we realized a lot of the things we were paying for we could do without or found other alternatives that we never really added those expenses back. So it's like we have significantly more money now. I still drive a semi occasionally for a friend who owns a truck. Her family has taken note of this and they're constantly asking us to go out to eat with us, hang out with us, etc. Then get mad when I never pay for their meals, the outing, the vacation, etc.

Aside from my part of the tab, obviously. Looking back, I understand why they never had money. They were living well beyond their means, but if it makes them happy, then it is what it is. I let my wife do whatever she wants with her money, but I make sure that she knows that I don't want a dime of my money going to her family since they were very unsupportive of what made us our money and would go as far as to talk down about me for doing what led to our money. OP, you're not obligated to give them any money even if they hadn't insulted you, even if they were nice and friendly with you.

It's still your money, not theirs. So I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling a plus size woman that I love being skinny? I dread going to my childhood friend's birthday party every year. We moved about a decade ago, and even though I'll always care deeply about her, we're very different people now and her friend group now reflects this. She has one friend, Amanda, who without fail has to comment on my weight every single time she sees me. You're so skinny!

Do you even eat? Does your boyfriend care that you don't have curves? Your legs are like sticks! For the record, I eat plenty. I just have a fast metabolism which keeps me super thin. I keep a strong face when Amanda says these things to me, but truthfully she's touching on my worst insecurities and it makes me dread going to these parties every year. I was considering not going this year until I talked to my mom about it.

My mom had what I thought was a great idea on how to deal with Amanda. She suggested that I pretend she's giving me a compliment. My mom told me, if Amanda says, you're so skinny, just smile and say, thanks, I love being skinny. And if she looks disappointed at your response, you'll have proven she was trying to insult you. I thought this was great advice. However, something I'd failed to mention to my mom was that Amanda was overweight. I didn't realize this meant that I was entering potential butthole territory. Anyway, the dreaded birthday party day comes, and of course, no surprise, Amanda immediately looks at my arms and comments how tiny they are. I ignored this comment.

Then, later on in the day, we were standing in a group together and she was eyeing me up and down. She chuckled to herself and says, God, you're so skinny. And I thought, okay, here it is. Here's my moment. I turned to her, smiled and said, thanks. I love being skinny. And then, and I'm completely serious here, she slaps me in the face. I was in complete shock just staring back at her, mouth hanging open with my hand on my cheek. Everyone was silent. Amanda suddenly bursts into tears and runs out of the room. Two of her friends chase her.

Only one other girl and my childhood friend asked if I was okay, but everyone else was just shooting me dirty looks. I promptly left the party. The next day, I was texting with my childhood friend about it. She basically thinks that even though Amanda shouldn't have slapped me, that was insensitive for saying, I love being skinny to a plus-sized person. I argued that Amanda has been consistently insensitive to me every party. And I didn't comment on her body, only my own.

She told me that it's different because being skinny is socially acceptable and that Amanda wouldn't usually do something like this, but I triggered her with my insult. My mom thinks that I'm in the right, but this was all her idea so of course she does, lol. OP, Amanda had an insane overreaction here. It's not even really fair to say that you were returning the same energy at her because she was being insulting and you just deflected and she responds with physical assault. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I don't know why you keep visiting your friend's birthday parties. I'm giving Amanda 2 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for leaving my dad's birthday dinner after overhearing my sister's comment about my miscarriage? I'm a 28 year old woman and a few months ago me and my sister Eva who's 33 realized that we were both pregnant. I'd say she was about 6 weeks further along than I was. She's been struggling with infertility so we were all happy for her. I have a 2 year old son with my husband who's 32. Sadly, a couple of weeks ago I lost my baby.

We told my family. They were all supportive, but I did sort of pull away from them. They would have tried to avoid discussing Ava's baby around me, but I didn't want to overshadow her, especially since she's wanted this for a long time. I also didn't want to be reminded of my own loss whenever I saw her. So I haven't been to my parents' for Sunday dinner since or really spent time with Eva, which we've been doing a lot before. I replied vaguely to any messages about my absence and it wasn't the best communication

for me. Yesterday, my parents were hosting a family dinner for my dad's birthday. I'd been thinking about going because I missed my family and while of course the pain of losing my child hasn't faded, I'm at a point where I can at least put it a little to the side to be there for my sister and my new niece, once she's born. So I let my family know that we'd be coming. However, we had to get a gift for my dad, and then my son had a bit of a tantrum, so we got to my parents' place about an hour late.

I wished my dad happy birthday and then went to the kitchen, where my mom, Eva, and sister-in-law's were. But before I went in, I heard kitchen where my mom, Eva, and sister in laws were. But before I went in, I heard them say my name, so I stopped. My mom said something like, Well, I guess OP's not coming. And Eva said, What did you expect? She probably changed her mind and is just staying home, again.

Honestly, I'm sorry for her, but you would think she was the first woman to ever lose a kid, and it's not even her first kid. They then kept talking about other things, but I just wanted to leave. I went and got my husband, who was with my brother-in-law, dad, and brothers in the living room. I told my dad I was really sorry, but we needed to go. They all protested, but my husband could see how upset I was, so he didn't. We got my son and left.

When we got home, I just kind of cried for a while. My husband asked me what happened and I told him. He was angry that my sister said that, but thought that we shouldn't have abruptly left because my dad had been looking forward to seeing us and my son missed his cousins. After this, I was feeling conflicted. Later, my husband texted me saying my dad had been really upset about us leaving and brought it up at dinner, which caused a whole fight because Mom and Ava realized that I must have heard them talking and my dad was mad about it.

My brother said that it was pretty bad, and he wished that I had just stayed so that none of this would have happened. Obviously, Ava didn't mean for me to hear that. They were all just frustrated that I'd been AWOL for so long. Now I feel bad because I didn't mean to ruin dinner. Obviously what Ava said was hurtful, but I can see how my actions might have led to her saying something out of anger and I could have talked to her about it later instead of just leaving.

I don't know. Yo, not even one month has passed since OP has lost her child and everyone is giving her a flack because she's not smiling and happy and ready to be around people. Cut the girl some slack. And even if a lot of time had passed, like I don't know, a year, two years, that's still an awful, callous thing to say to a woman who lost her unborn child. OP, you get zero out of 5 buttholes. Leaving was way better than staying and crying during your dad's dinner.

I'm giving your sister 2 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to give my cousin the money that I've been saving for my lifelong dream? I'm a 20 year old woman and I've been saving for a study abroad program since I was 18. It's not just a trip, it's been my dream for years to travel, learn, and grow outside of my hometown. I've worked endless shifts, skipped vacations, and sacrificed so much to finally have enough money to make it happen. I've been counting down the days. Enter my cousin, who's 23. She's recently pregnant and struggling financially. Last week she came to me asking

for money to help with baby expenses. Not a small amount either. Basically everything I've saved. She called it a family emergency and said that it's my duty to help because according to her, my dream trip is just a luxury compared to her needs. When I said no, she flipped out. She accused me of being selfish, heartless, and not caring about her or her baby. She told me I can just save up again, like two years of hard work can magically be redone overnight. Then her mom, my aunt chimed in, saying I'm a terrible family member and I'll regret this when I'm older. My cousin even told the rest of my family and now everyone is texting me saying that

I'm prioritizing a vacation over her child's future. I've worked so hard for this and I don't feel like it's fair to give it all up just because she didn't plan her life better. But the guilt trips are getting to me and now I'm questioning myself. Am I being selfish for wanting to protect something I've worked years to achieve? If all of OP's family members thinks the cousin deserves money then why don't THEY give her money? Why don't they do it? God, why does everything always have to fall on just one person? Jesus, OP, go on your vacation, go on your whatever you want to call it, travel,

study abroad, and just don't come back because your family sucks. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Follow your dreams. That was r slash mi the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.