rSlash - r/AITA Parents Demand $11,000 per MONTH

Episode Date: April 30, 2026

0:00 Intro 0:07 Expensive 3:52 Consequences 7:02 Thrift find 9:50 Smoking 12:22 Remodel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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presents Laura versus fruit flies. Swarming your fruit and terrorizing your kitchen. These little freaks multiply at a rate that would make a rabbit say, yo, chill. But Laura shopped on Amazon and saved on cleaning spray, countertop wipes, and fly traps. Hey, fruit flies, your baby boom ends here. Save the Every Day with Amazon. Welcome to R-slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP's parents expect him to pay them $11,000 a month. Am I the Butthole for refusing to subsidize my parents $11,000 per month seniors' home in one of the fanciest neighborhoods in the city? I feel like I don't even need to read this post, and I'm already on O.P.'s side here.

$11,000 a month? That's $132K. per year. I'm a 34-year-old guy, a physician and an only child. My parents are in their late 60s with serious health issues. My mom has a slow-growing cancer, and my dad has Alzheimer's. It's currently mild, he's still driving, and he's managing day-to-day. In terms of outlook, we're looking at maybe five years for my mom and 12 years from my dad. Right now, they're doing okay at home with frozen meals and some cleaning help, but they've said they want to move into a senior residence in about a year. They fixated on a specific home in Caristale, Vancouver, which is one of the more affluent neighborhoods in the city, if not all of Canada.

It's about $11,000 Canadian dollars per month for a one bedroom, and that's just independent living, meaning meals, activities, and light housekeeping. Any actual care like personal support or medication management would be extra, and assisted living or long-term care in the complex would be two to three times as much. financially they have about $8,000 Canadian dollars per month in pre-tax income, and around $800,000 in assets. They don't own a home. So they're not broke and they have meaningful resources, but realistically, they can't afford this place long term, especially once they need higher levels of care. The implied expectation is that I would step in and help cover things after they run out of money. I could technically afford to help, but this is a potentially decade-plus commitment, with escalating costs over time. And it would affect my ability to make major life decisions such as where I live,

career flexibility, and relationships. I've suggested more sustainable options that are still good quality, just not ultra-premium. But those get dismissed as not good enough. My mom's always been very hard to please. Even when things are objectively good, she tends to focus on what's wrong. So I worry that even if I do help fund this,

it will not actually make her happy. and I'll still be taking on a major long-term financial burden. From my perspective, they're choosing a lifestyle above what their finances comfortably supports. The current option isn't even the level of care they'll likely need later on. I'm being positioned as a future backstop for an open-ended escalating cost. At the same time, I feel guilty. They're dealing with real health issues and I can help. Part of me feels like I should want them to have the nicest, easiest environment possible.

But I also feel it's reasonable to expect them to choose something they can sustain on their own resources, especially when good alternatives exist. I'm not trying to abandon them. I want them to be safe, comfortable, and cared for. I just don't think I should be responsible for paying for a luxury home in one of the top 2% neighborhoods in the country, especially when it may not even meet their future needs. O.P., you did say one thing correct. She said part of me feels like I should want them to have the nicest, easiest environment possible.

yes, that means having enough money for hospital trips, cancer treatments, not things like living in a pricey zip code. $132,000 per year, over 12 years, which is the estimated survival of the father in the story, comes out to $1.6 million, roughly. I think the simple thing to do here is just say no, as strongly and firmly as possible, because the sicker they get, the harder it's going to be. to turn them down. Will I be the butthole because my autistic brother was enabled his whole life? So do I let him face his own consequences? My 19-year-old brother has autism and is quick to anger. He gets angry if someone uses the wrong word in a sentence and will correct them. A family member said couch and he got angry because it's a sofa. I'm 21 and I can understand being autistic myself, even if it's not something I do. He says that he knows what's going on inside mine and other people's

kids better than we do and has a quick, no, you're wrong, it's reflex when anyone says anything, even if it's objectively true. If he said something and you repeat that for confirmation, he will still say that you're wrong. I try to empathize with him and ask questions to understand him better. It works, but gets exhausting, especially when he invalidates and tells me he knows my brain better than I do. I'm not sure why he's so quick to react in these ways. If confronted, he'll get extremely angry and yell. My dad insists that everybody just instigates my brother and tells us to leave him alone and why are you always causing fights? I keep getting blamed and it's making me question reality. This behavior was left unchecked since he was a kid. He learned that saying

he's too tired or overwhelmed is the perfect way to get out of things because it's always worked. If sincere, I'd have no issue. I understand overstimulation and autistic shutdowns. But it's clear he uses it as an excuse to get out of conversations, responsibilities, or consequences. It feels like I'm the only one who cares about him and his future, and I drive him to college daily because driving overwhelms him. I've mentioned therapy since it's free at his school, but he never gets around to it. I'm his sibling, not his parent, but no one else can drive him, and if I stop, he'll likely fail and flunk out of college. He said that himself. He already misses classes because he stays up until 4 a.m. since he enjoys quiet. He makes lots of noise on his VR headset, keeping me up when I have to drive him the

next morning if he decides to go. I've brought this up to my family, but everyone says, What can we do? He's an adult. Which I understand. I'm losing sleep, and my dad allows my brother to get out of responsibility. I'm scared for his future, since I know my parents will be hands off, and he might be doomed without anyone's help. My brother says, it's not my fault. I can't control my emotions when I get angry? When he gets mad, I'm blamed. My dad tells me if I don't like it, I can live somewhere else. I don't have money and he knows that. I can't drive my brother and work at the same time. I've tried. I care about my family and clearly this is not good for me or him. We're all adults. I'm in a loss and my mental health is on decline. My question is,

would I be the butthole if I stopped driving my 19-year-old autistic brother, focused on getting a job in my own life instead, and potentially let him flunk out of college and face the consequences? O.P., you've got to get out of this house ASAP. Your family is lazy and entitled, and the best thing to do is to just wash your hands and focus on your own happiness, because they certainly aren't. Am I the butthole for buying dishware at a thrift store before someone else could? I went to a goodwill and saw a really lovely set of wood plates and two matching bowls. I actually needed them for their intended purpose. I was going to grab the stuff, but there was this woman standing in front of them with her phone out, loudly complaining about how she can't find the maker's mark on the dishware,

as the bottoms were left blank. I assumed she was one of those resellers, as her cart was filled to the brim with glassware, and I did see a leather jacket in there too. I walked up next to her and asked if she was going to buy the dishes. She glared at me and said, yes, and told me to get lost. she was there first. So I just said, fine, no need to be rude, lady. It was a simple yes or no question. I walked away to go look elsewhere and she was now looking in the books, but the wood dishes were not in her carts. I walked over, saw them still on the shelf and put them in my cart. As I walked away, she came back and noticed I had them in my card and she started flipping out, telling me she was going to buy those as they were from a super high-end artist. I told her she

walked away from the shelf and left them there. If she really wanted them, she would have put them in her carts. She immediately started grabbing my cart and taking out everything from my cart as I found a hoodie thing called The Comfy and some strange pyrecks in a collectible pattern. She said that I'm taking money away from good people like her and that she was losing sales because of people like me buying stuff to use and not resell. I yelled to take her hands off my stuff. But by this point, an employee stocking nearby came over and asked what was going on. The lady, tried to say that I stole stuff out of her cart. I said she was stealing from mine. The reseller lady looked around and saw that a different employee had taken her abandoned cart that she left

in the book section and was putting her stuff back. She freaked out, dropped my stuff, and ran after him. I looked at the employee who then just waved me off and left me with my purchases. I told some people about it and a close friend said that I should have just given her everything because reselling is her job. And another friend agreed with her. But they only said that when I said that the comfy was a $50 garment. So reselling is a completely pointless profession because the goodwill is itself already serving as the reseller. So adding a reseller to a reseller is just putting a person in the middle who takes a cut

of the profits and they serve no purpose. They do nothing. So who cares that that's her job? She's basically a ticket scalper. O.P., you get zero out of five buttholes. My guess is that she wasn't really upset at you because you did something. wrong. She was just yelling because she's been through this situation many, many times, and yelling and getting outrage is probably the best way to get people to back off so she can get

her away. To her, it probably wasn't about right and wrong. It was just about profit. Am I the butthole for continuing to smoke outside, even though my neighbor hired an attorney over it? I live in Haslett, Texas, in a single-family neighborhood, quarter-acre lots, fenced yards. My husband and I rent the home. This started because we occasionally smoke cigarettes out of outside on our back patio, usually with coffee in the morning or here and there during the day. Our neighbor has been escalating things over the past few months. It started with complaints, but recently she, one, stood on something to look over our fence and recorded me while criticizing me in front of my kids for the example I'm setting,

which felt unnecessary and personal. Two, posted about us in the neighborhood Facebook group, admitting she recorded me while also identifying which house is ours. Three, screamed over the fence saying she hired an attorney and claimed multiple people are complaining. Yet most, if not all of the neighbors who commented, cited with us, and agreed we have a right to do what we want in the privacy of our own home. We tried to be considerate and even adjusted where we sit outside. At one point, we tried going into the garage with an air filter to avoid bothering anyone. But she still complained, so we stopped doing that and move the air filter outside.

Now an attorney has sent a formal letter to our landlord claiming we're creating a nuisance and affecting her health and threatening further action. For context, we're in a detached home, so there's no shared walls. There's no HOA rules specifically banning smoking. We're not chain smoking outside all day, and we've made efforts to be mindful. I completely understand not liking cigarette smoke, but this has escalated to being recorded, publicly posted about, and now legal threats. At this point, I feel like I'm the one being harassed, not the other way around. Am I missing something here? O.P., personally, I think smoking is a really disgusting habit, and I've never even touched a cigarette in my entire life.

Still, I'm on your side. A hundred percent on your side. You're in your own backyard. You can do whatever the hell you want to do, especially in Texas. I like to see her, I like to see the lawyer saying, what kind of judge in Texas is going to say, ma'am, you have to listen to what your neighbors say you can do in your own backyard. Yeah, right. Actually, people in the comments are pointing out that in Texas you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your backyard, which means the neighbor might be able to be put in legal trouble for spying on you, or perhaps like peeping Tom type rules. O.P. 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for remodeling my stepkids rooms after their mom passed away since they weren't going to be living with me anyways? I've never been a legal guardian of my stepchildren. children. They have a father and had a mom. I was just their mom's husband. I never had a problem with this. Their biological father is a bit flaky, but his parents and him always made sure his child support was up to

date and that all of his custody time was spent with his family. The kids were always polite to me, and I tried my best to be an adult that they could come to with her problems. My wife died last year. It was an illness that came out of nowhere, and she was gone before we knew it. We had two young children of our own, and now I was a single dad. My in-laws stepped up to help me with our children and hers. They established grandparent rights and got visitation. Their dad got full custody. My two stepkids moved in with their paternal grandparents since their dad lives in a bachelor loft. My house has six bid rooms since we finished the basement, so I could move my office down there. So the breakdown used to be us in the master suite, our kids in one room and the stepkids

each had a room. Then I had an office in the basement and a playroom that we converted to a guest room when needed. Once the stepkids moved out, I started thinking about the future. I left everything alone for three months. I didn't want to rush into anything, and I wanted them to be able to come home if they needed. They never did. I called their dad and asked him to please pick up all their stuff so I could clean up and paint their rooms. That whole side of the family went nuts. They accused me of trying to get rid of them and erase them from their home. I don't have any sort of legal rights over those kids. God forbid they get hurt or something.

I cannot legally make any decisions for them. All I want is to have a room for each of my kids on the same floor as me and move my office back upstairs. I offered to turn both basement rooms into guest rooms they could stay in if they wanted to stay over when they're visiting with their half-siblings. That wasn't accepted. I need to leave their rooms alone. I boxed up their stuff and put it in boxes downstairs.

I painted the rooms and each of my kids got their own room upstairs. Their dad still hasn't picked up their stuff, but has called me names for the things I did. I don't even know how he knows since the stepkids haven't been here since the funeral. Am I the butthole for prioritizing my children over my stepkids and remodeling my home to exclude them? Hold on let me get this straight. The dad of these kids, who does not even have a room for his own. own children in his home, is telling you what to do with the rooms in your house? Give me a break. This comment. That guy has no room to judge. That is literally true. O.P., you get zero out of five

buttholes. Don't listen to people's opinions about what you do with your house when they don't even live in your house. What do they? Who cares? Let them cry about it. Whatever. That was our slash am I the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. Rosen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes. Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play Ojo, the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games.

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