rSlash - r/AITA Pregnancy Turned My Wife into a Psychotic Liar

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:05 Divorce 13:06 Thieves Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Welcome to r slash am I the butthole, where OP's wife goes off the deep end! Am I the butthole for wanting to divorce my postpartum wife? I'm a 29 year old guy and my soon to be ex wife is 28. We've wanted kids for years and we were thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one, I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father that I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a technician in labor and delivery, and my brother, to put it kindly,

is not the most involved father. So I saw a lot of problems up close when it came to bad husbands, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes. The problem is, roughly four weeks into my wife's pregnancy, everything started going downhill. She stopped wanting intercourse. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem, so we stopped. Then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, and she slowly became more and more distant.

Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day, then the moment that I gave it to her she wanted something else, screaming at me. Okay, again, hormonal issues. I get it, no problem. She would never let me go to any appointments with her, no groups that she went to, and she spent more and more time away from me. She became cold and bitter, constantly angry at me.

This went on for months. She slapped me a couple of times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks that she assigned to me during the day. She stopped doing any household chores about a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant. I get that moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about four weeks in, and by five weeks in I was doing everything. I am also the primary source of income. I barely sleep, I'm running on fumes. She made me sleep in the guest room and would always try to pick fights with me. I never once raised my voice, my hand or my tone.

I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself that this isn't her, that this would all be worth it. She didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing. One month before she delivered, she yelled how effing useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, and threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her. A couple of weeks back, I… whoa! I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post! She posted it with her mother and some family members. It effing broke me. I tried to go to

the hospital and visit, and they had security kick me out. After months of outright hatred, anger, and abuse thrown at me 24x7, I effing had it. Odds are, my name isn't even on the birth certificate. I opened up a new bank account, and now all my deposits are going there. I took half the money out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, so who knows what that money was going towards. So now that she has to buy supplies for our son, she's used up every cent. I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine.

I'm the only one who's spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. I'm not spending another damn cent until I get verification that that's my son. I am absolutely divorcing her. She chose to stay at home life, so if she cheated, she screwed. Her mother has money for just a couple more weeks, not even close to enough for full time support. If this baby is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship. Last week, my soon to be ex called and she was

practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother, she's at a friend's house, and she wants to come home. She said she wants our son to have his father. I told her, I don't effing believe that he's my son. Why the hell would she do this to me if he is?

Show me a paternity test and I'll do everything I can for him and him only. She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks that I should at least hear her out. OP, my brother. Finding out that you're a father through a Facebook post is painful.

Man, my heart reaches out to you. I think your response to this is completely logical. I would also suspect cheating in your shoes, and I would also be going for a divorce at that point. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your wife 4 out of 5 buttholes. And I will understand that postpartum is really crazy. I've witnessed postpartum personally and it's like someone opens up the woman's

skull, takes out their brain and replaces it with a completely new brain. It's actually crazy how much of a difference it makes. But still, just because you've got mental problems doesn't mean you can treat people like this. And then OP posted an update. Before I ended up chatting with my wife, I opened up to my parents and sister about what was happening in detail. My parents were upset at me for hiding the more unsavory details from them to say the least, and they're probably going to be checking up on me daily for the rest of the year to make sure that I'm okay. So basically, within hours of my post

blowing up on Reddit, I called my wife back as quickly as I could to finally sit down and talk. We chose a local park this morning, and I had a friend of mine record the conversation from beginning to end. I was basically ready to hear the typical affair story and get out of dodge. But of course, it got complicated. When I got to the park, she looked terrible. Haggard, stressed, and thankfully without the baby. She tried to have this big emotional chat and whatnot. I wasn't tearing up, nor was I acting like a hardened badass.

Frankly, I just wanted to figure out what all this was about. I didn't even get to ask the question before the floodgate spilled. Apparently, this all started with her mother. As I've said before, my wife's father was absent. He started off well, having two sons with her mother and then her. When her mother got pregnant with her, her father went from being this picture perfect guy that he was at first and slowly changed into a negligent, abusive, unfaithful, and supportive jackass, ending with him disappearing

when her mother was delivering. He's been in and out of prison ever since. No one knows why he did it. The impression her mother always gave was a strong, resilient woman who withstood anything life threw at her and did anything for her kids. She's claimed to be in therapy for years. In reality, she managed to conceal a deep hatred for men outside of her sons, but according

to my wife, there was favoritism towards her. My wife also found out that she stopped therapy almost a decade ago, but never told anyone. Her mother did always seem to have some kind of grudge against me, and now I know why. She was never a hostile, but she certainly wasn't warm to me, and hearing about her secret hatred, I kinda knew where this was going. Roughly about a year and a half before she got pregnant, my mother-in-law slowly began sowing seeds of doubt and bitterness into my wife. Apparently, she had a full mental break.

My mother-in-law told my wife that me staying late at work meant that I was probably hiding an affair. Or that since I made most of the money, I was probably setting up for a rough divorce. Everything that my mother-in-law's husband did to her, she convinced my wife that I would do to her as well, and she pumped this poison into her for months. My wife always idolized her mother, and compounding that with anxiety she suffered for years, she dove in deep. As soon as she got pregnant, like on the dot, she fell into a mental hole within days. And that's when her mother got a hold of her again. Hearing about her pregnancy apparently triggered something fierce in my mother-in-law, and

it spiraled from there. She had my wife fully convinced that it was happening again. Every single thing that my wife did to hurt me was at the behest of my mother-in-law. Combined with pregnancy hormones and undiagnosed mental illness that she claims to have, with no confirmation and stress, my wife completely lost her mind. She 100% believed that I would bail, so she was punishing me first, culminating in her moving in with her mother and leaving me out of the birth. While I was sending the papers and starting the divorce proceedings, she kicked into full-blown

postpartum depression. And I guess at that point, her mother had claimed victory over me? Like I said, she's crazy, and she had no more use for my wife. While my mother-in-law and her sister knew what was going on, my brother-in-laws got fed the BS narrative that my mother-in-law spun. When my mother-in-law was done with her plan, the entire facade came down and my brother-in-law found out everything upon questioning my wife, and they were horrified. Needless to say, reality hit my wife like a truck. She had postpartum, she was facing a very grueling divorce, she was no longer welcome in our home,

and she did everything she could to alienate me from my son at the best of this broken lunatic. She torched her entire life because her mother is a broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very same mother who washed broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very same mother who washed her hands of her after she got what she wanted. Or at least this is the story that my wife gave me. Frankly, there's a lot of holes in her story. But it just seems way too effing crazy to be made up.

Who the hell would go to the effort to make this up facing what she's facing? As soon as she finished, she said that she's setting up a paternity test and gave me the info I need. With luck, it should be done in roughly a week or so once I do my part. She gave the most sincere apologies that any human being has ever given. She begged for another chance. I was frankly too stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon. I don't think that I can give her another chance. I was frankly too stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon. I don't think that I can give her another chance. I don't think that I can ever risk anything like this again.

God, I hope that she's just being a cheating psycho and spending a sympathy story to try to throw me off because this got way too complicated. And then OP posted an update. It took me way longer than it should have to realize that I should actually call someone who saw her behavior when she left first hand. I called one of her brothers. I basically word vomited the whole story and asked what they could verify. Her brother could not verify the story. So what actually happened is my wife started having an affair with a coworker roughly 4

months before she got pregnant. Then, when she got pregnant, her affair partner gave her the whole spiel about how he was better and she should go with him. She immediately gets the idea that she should start abusing me and eventually wants to run off with him. The day that she moved out, she did stay at her mother's, but she had every intention of moving in with her affair partner after giving birth. Before she delivered the baby, she owned up and told her family everything.

My mother-in-law and brother-in-law couldn't care at the time. They don't really like me, and from what she was telling them about her affair partner, they liked him. The affair partner was at the birth, while high, and tried to start a fight with them. By then, my wife already did a paternity test and it was his. Her affair partner then disappears and she realizes that she's screwed. We have a solid prenup and I got my house before we got married, plus we live in an at-fault state. Around that time is when I called her out and split our finances. She was in a deep hole with no way

out. And in her mind, pitching a drama show about her family to me made sense to get me on her side. So basically, a desperate person and her toxic family gambled everything and only when they'd burned all bridges with me did they try to reconnect. I'm glad that I called the one brother who actually had the decency to own up to their nonsense. He realized how in-deep he was with his toxic family and his sister didn't help with that so he's finally done with his family's crap and wants to get away. He gave me a copy of the paternity test that she gave to him. He showed me dozens of messages that she had with him in the family group chat. I have enough proof for my lawyer to bury her.

I texted her and told her that I know everything. She's been messaging me relentlessly with the most vile things she can say. I'm just forwarding it all to my lawyer. I am still in awe with how she tried to pull a last resort manipulation tactic with the story about her family. It's actually kind of disturbing. But that doesn't really concern me now. Locks are changed, finances are already separated, I'm not on the birth certificate, and my

divorce is getting ready to start. I probably won't update for a long time. In a way, this was the best case scenario, and I'm actually giddy that I have a clean break. Huge sigh of relief. She could have at least told me the truth and spared me the pointless drama. Am I the butthole for making my parents replace my toys that they decided to give away? I'm moving to another city for work. Since I'm an adult and not a college kid, I hired movers. My parents insisted on coming down to help me pack up. I live in their basement suite.

It was cheap and they let me have my privacy. They brought my brother and my nephew. The four of them were as helpful as a bag as a bag of used horse condoms. Especially my nephew. My parents decided to keep him busy by giving him one of my Lego sets to play with. I collect Lego sets. What I usually do is buy two of the same one, build one, put it up for display and leave the other one in the box to trade or sell. My nephew took it upstairs to stay out of the way and then he took it home.

All I noticed is that he was out from underfoot. The next day I saw the box in the garbage. I went upstairs to talk to my parents and I asked them where the Lego box came from. They said they gave it to my nephew to keep him busy. I told them they needed to replace it. They said that I was being childish for caring so much about a toy. I said they could replace it or I'd file an insurance claim and that would probably require a police report. My dad got angry. He pulled out 70 bucks and told me that I was a butthole for making a fuss over a toy. I asked him if that 70 dollars was a down payment. He said that 70 bucks and told me that I was a butthole for making a fuss over a toy. I asked him if that

70 dollars was a down payment. He said that 70 bucks is what he spent on the last Lego gift that he got me for Christmas and that that's how much it costs. I told him how much it really cost and I told him to keep his money. I told him what he had to do was give me a sealed box like the one that he stole. He said that he didn't steal anything. He took the empty box and went to a Lego store nearby. When he came back, he was apologetic. He said that he would get it back from my nephew. I said that I only wanted a sealed box. I even went online to help my dad find a cheaper one.

With shipping, it would be $300. My dad ordered it, but he's not happy about it. My mom is upset that I'm expecting this much money for a toy. My dad is upset that I didn't explain before he went and made a fool of himself at the store. I'm upset that they stole from me. Am I the butthole? Okay, I don't even know why this is on Reddit, why OP felt motivated to make a post because this is just super clear cut theft. And oh shock surprise, the thief is upset that they got caught and they have to pay back what they stole? I can't believe it!

OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your thieving parents get 1 out of 5 buttholes. And hey don't trash on Legos, I'm in my 30s and I put together Legos, they're very meditative and chill. That was r slash Amai the Butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.