rSlash - r/AITA Should I Give My Cheating Dad $100,000?

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

0:00 Intro 0:06 Party trick 5:07 Vacation over wedding 8:44 Lazy man 11:23 College fund Visit BetterHelp.com/RSLASH today to get 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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can use our early cashout feature so you could take your winnings to play live blackjack on the same points bet at the platform that gives you everything you need you know what to do bet on it points bet sportsbook and casino welcome to our slash am I the butthole where OP completely destroys his sister's wedding am I the butthole for pulling out of planning my sister's wedding, causing her to lose the venue? I'm a 31 year old guy.

As a wedding planner who's been in the industry for many years now, my party trick amongst close friends and family is being able to guess how long my client's marriages will last with pretty alarming accuracy. If you ask anyone in the industry, there are specific indicators while working with a couple that allow us to be able to gauge compatibility. I can usually get down to around a six-month window when predicting when photos of each other will disappear from socials. This is not me taking joy in relationships crashing and burning. Working in this career field can actually leave you feeling jaded about relationships in general, which is why I'm reluctant to work for friends and family.

The stress that wedding planning puts on some people can bring out the worst in them that you don't see in everyday life. My sister is getting married early next year, and practically begged me to plan for her despite my stance on clients that I know personally. I finally gave in, and we began the process back in March. Last week, while me and my sister were meeting and finalizing a few things, she asked me about the party trick that I mentioned. She said that since I'd been working with her and her fiance for months now, I could give my predictions as to how long they were going to last. I laughed and tried to move on. I thought she was joking,

but she continued to press the issue. After she continuously bothered me about this for 15 minutes with me trying to move on, I finally told her that I thought they'd last forever. She claimed that she didn't believe me and wanted my real number, so I shrugged and told her the truth, a year and a half. She was livid. I felt incredibly uncomfortable with the whole ordeal, especially with how little she respected my boundaries and what's supposed to be a professional setting. And I just tried to usher out of my office.

Instead, she began ranting about my own marriage and said that she gives us until the end of the year before we break up and accused me of being a home wrecker. She finally left and I emailed her saying that I would no longer be involved in the planning. I gave her the contact information of all the vendors that we were working with, but I told her the venue would no longer be available as they only booked to people they have existing relationships with and my involvement was necessary.

I've had to break up with clients before, but this one felt particularly rough. She's now told our parents that I am purposefully sabotaging her wedding and that I was unforgivably rude to her when she was just asking a playful question. I feel very silly for letting a person disrespect my boundaries over and over again, something I typically wouldn't tolerate. But now, I'm wondering if I was in the wrong. Am I the butthole? Will I be the butthole if I go on vacation and sit in my brother's wedding? I'm a 26 year old woman, and my brother Tom is 36. My brother Tom and I have never really had a solid relationship. Due to our age gap, we didn't spend much time together, and by the time that I was old enough

to develop a personality, he had moved out of the house. For the last two years, my brother and his fiance, Sarah, have been planning their wedding. I was asked to be a bride's maid. I figured that I was only asked as a courtesy since I'm her soon to be sister-in-law, but I still took it seriously. I've been designated to be a brideidesmaid for the last two years.

Just a few weeks ago, I managed to save up to buy the $800 bridesmaid dress. Overall, in the last two years between group outing to parties, dinners, lunches, clothes, etc. I've spent thousands of dollars. Eventually, all the girls in the wedding and I became extremely close, and I started to get hyped for the wedding. Sarah recently got close with her brother's wife, Becky. Last week, she dropped the ball on me that she no longer wants me to be a bridesmaid, and she would prefer if Becky would take my place. It broke my heart a little, but it's her wedding, and it's not my place to tell her how to run it, so I said that it was fine. Yesterday, I went to my brother's house to pick up my bridesmaids dress, and I was going to see if I could return it since it was still within the time frame.

Sarah was completely appalled by this, and said that Becky was going to wear my dress since she and I are the same size. I said that'd be fine, but they would have to pay me 800 bucks for it. Sarah said that Becky couldn't afford it, and I should just be nice and let her use it and said that I could keep it after the wedding. I explained that I'm not just giving away the dress, and that I'm not ever going to use it after the wedding. After some back and forth bickering, I ended up just taking it and leaving. My brother and Sarah tried to compromise with me and say that I could be the assistant flower girl, and I felt offended by that offer. After I said no, they then said that Becky could give me 250 bucks for it.

Again, I said no, and I returned the dress to get a full refund. I told them I understand that it's their wedding, but they're being extremely disrespectful to me, and that I don't need to deal with it, and I am NOT going to the wedding. Today, my co-worker said that she is extra round trip plane tickets to go to Miami, and she'll sell them to me for half price. Plus, I'd have to pay for half the hotel, and I'd get to hang out with her in Florida. The only downside is that I'll be in Florida for the week of my brother's wedding. So while I be the butthole if I just go to the party in Miami instead of going to my brother's wedding, I'll be straight with you OP.

What this post sounds like is that your sister-in-law intentionally lied to you and waited until you bought the dress specifically so she could give that dress to her friend. I mean, I could be wrong here, but the timing is a little bit suspicious. But regardless, whether or not this was intentional, it's still super disrespectful. Opie, I'm on your side here. Enjoy Florida. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your sister-in-law 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.

You know, the super toxic thing about this post is why not just add one more bridesmaid. You know, there's no rules about bridesmaid. It's your wedding. You could have two bridesmaids, twenty, two hundred, man. It's entirely up to her. I guess the only consequence is that if you have more bridesmaids than groomsmen, then the photos won't be symmetrical, but that means you care more about a symmetrical photograph than you do about the feelings of someone that you care about. Am I the butthole for telling my friend that his wife was right to leave him after he

lost his job? For the record, Mark and his wife are friends of me and my girlfriend. About a year ago, Mark lost his job, and he hasn't been able to find a new one until about a month ago. Also, I get the impression that this new job is not as lucrative as his previous job, but I'm not sure. About three months ago, his wife left him. They have two kids ages two and four.

Anyways, me, my girlfriend, Mark, and a few other friends went out drinking. Mark started by complaining that his wife was a B-ward because she left him because he was unemployed. Except, I know that his wife wanted him to stop looking for full-time jobs and only look for jobs that he can do from home. And they keep their two-year-old home from daycare to save money. I told him that, no, his wife probably left him because he hasn't been doing his fair share in the house. She's been making jokes for ages about him living like a teenager until he has to pick up the kids at four. He then takes care of them until the mom comes home and they go to bed. I also know that she's been wanting to get rid of their house cleaner until he finds a job. What? He said, no, she just lost

respect for him because he wasn't bringing in any money and the rest was just excuses. Anyways we all had a fight. My girlfriend thinks that I was a butthole for getting involved and we didn't really know all the details. My friends are split, some say that it's true, women always leave men when they stop providing and I wouldn't understand because I'm a lesbian. Others think that I was right, but that I shouldn't have gotten involved and it ruined the night out. I think that he was right, but that I shouldn't have gotten involved and it ruined the night out.

I think that he needs a reality check. Okay, the writing on this post isn't very good, so I feel like I'm missing some important details. But let me get this straight. This dude didn't have a job for a year, and during this time, he didn't clean the house, and instead hired a housekeeper. This was for a family that's tied on cash, so tied on cash that they couldn't afford daycare. So what exactly did this guy do all day? So, Opie, I can't really tell if it was wrong of you

or right of you to call out your friend while you're out drinking because, you know, the details are a little bit sparse here. But it does seem like you're right that the reason why his wife left him is because he wasn't being a very good husband. This guy wasn't contributing financially, he wasn't taking care of chores and he wasn't raising kids. So what exactly was he doing for a year? Just playing video games?

I'm inclined to give you 0 out of 5 buttholes OPA because I agree with you. He does need a reality check. I'm giving Mark 3 out of 5 buttholes for being a clueless deadbeat dad. Am I the butthole for not wanting to use my college fund to pay for my brother's treatment? My parents divorced when I was about 7 because my dad admitted to having an affair. My mom and I moved out of our house and into an apartment while my dad immediately moved his mistress into our house because she was pregnant with my twin brothers. My mom was devastated, but she quickly picked herself up for us. She went back to school, and as a result, she continued climbing up in her career. My mom adjusted, going from a double income household to a single income household,

and was able to contribute a substantial amount of money to my college fund. My dad, on the other hand, had a harder time because he now had to support a family of four, sometimes five when I was over there on a single income because his wife was a stay-at-home mom. My dad didn't have as much disposable income, so he didn't contribute as much to my college fund. I'm going to finish high school soon and I have a good shout of getting into my first choice of college. Unfortunately, my brother,

whose 10 was diagnosed with a kidney disease, which is progressed to where he needs to be on dialysis. My dad is drowning in medical debt, so my mom agreed that he no longer needs to pay child support. The specialist suggested a different treatment for my brother because most other treatments didn't help or they stopped working and they were running out of option short of a transplant. This treatment is not covered by insurance and it costs a lot.

My dad can't take out a loan because of the medical debt. My dad and his wife sat me down when I was over and asked if I'd be willing to let them borrow my college fund to pay off my brother's treatment. They offered to pay the money back, but I knew they wouldn't be able to. I really don't want to give them the money because I know if I don't get any scholarships, I wouldn't be able to go to college that I want to without going into debt myself. My future would be at risk and I know

my dad wouldn't help if I needed it. In addition, the money technically belongs to my mom. I can't just give it away and I know that she would refuse to give them the money. My dad and his wife are furious at both my mom and I and are trying to guilt me into it. I do feel terrible for my little brother. Am I the butthole? Opie, the reason why they came to you about your mom's money is because they know they can't squeeze it out of your mom, so they're trying to manipulate you

and manipulating her to getting her money. Because you're right, it's not your money to give away, it's her money to give away. And if she doesn't want to give that money to her cheating husband's affair baby, then come on, we can't blame her, can we? Even though a kid's health is on the line and trust me, I feel for the 10 year old, let's be real guys. Can we honestly expect her to give money to her cheating husband in this scenario? That's ridiculous, that's absurd.

That is so ingest, unfair, inexcusable to even ask. Well I guess he can ask. The answer is no of course, but he can ask. Opie, your dad is a bad person, and based on this story, I agree with you that once you pay him that money, you will never see that money come back. And then Opie posted an update. So after I called my mom, she left work early and picked me up from my dad's house. She took me out for coffee and I explained what happened. After talking a bit, she said that I could either

keep the fund as it is and not give dad the money, or we can take the money that dad had contributed and give it back to him. I told my mom that I wanted to give dad back the money that he had put in. After we finished our coffee, mom withdrew the exact amount that dad had put in over the years. Mom also doubled that amount with her own money and gave it to dad. I waited in the car while she gave dad the money, and he was upset because the money wasn't enough. Mom told him that this is all he's going to get from her, and threatened to take him to court if he and his wife keeps harassing me. This is probably the last update as I'm going low contact with Dad for now. OP, the difference in quality of character, the difference in integrity between your

mother and your father could not possibly be greater. Your dad is a manipulating, emotionally abusive, cheating, douchebag who shows favoritism to some kids over his other kids. Your mother, on the other hand, is a loving, caring, forgiving, hardworking, smart, graceful woman who loves her son and is even willing to help out her cheating ex-husband's affair baby. So, I think you made the right call by going low contact with your dad because your dad is toxic and your mom is loving, so you should have a little dad contact in your life and as much mom contact in your life as humanly possible.

Opie, I'm giving you and your mom zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your dad four out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.