rSlash - r/AITA Wife Abandoned Our Infant to Die

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:06 Emergency management 3:48 Finances 6:43 Mothers day 11:03 Vehicle choice 13:53 Living situation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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What's behind the Dairy Farmers of Canada Blue Cow logo on your favorite dairy products? It's high Canadian standards, which means we meet 42 food safety requirements. We work with animal care experts and work towards a sustainable future. That's dairy farming forward. Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's wife abandons their newborn baby to die. Am I the butthole for telling my fiance that she's useless in an emergency and shouldn't brag about how tough she is?

I'm a 25 year old guy and I have a one year old girl named Amy with my fiance Jess who's 24. We lived together in one of the safest cities in the United States. About four months ago, Jess and I were walking home at night with Amy sleeping in her stroller. It was a suburban road that we've walked down hundreds of times. Suddenly we heard several loud binging noises from around the corner. My first instinct was to check where the noise was coming from, so I jogged a couple of steps forward to peek and see what was going on. As it turns out, two teenagers were hitting the window of an SUV with a baseball bat. I watched them run

away, get into a car, and peel out. I turned around to find Jess, but she wasn't there. I looked back the way we came to see her about 50 yards away running like her life depended on it. I called out to her a few times, but she was obviously scared out of her mind and didn't hear me. A few minutes later I called her on her phone and she picked up. I explained that it was just a couple of dumb kids with a baseball bat. Jess sheepishly walked up a few minutes later and I couldn't help but laugh at her. She said that she grew up in a rough neighborhood. She didn't and she mistook the sounds for gunshots. I actually did grow up in a bad neighborhood and I told her they sounded nothing like gunshots. But what really stuck with me was her first instinct in an emergency was to abandon a 9 month old baby

and her fiancee to fend for themselves as she protected her own hide. Well, last night we were watching a documentary together and there was a scene with a woman who was frozen in terror during an animal attack. Jess scoffed and said that if it were her, she would have fought back, especially if Amy were with her. I looked at her for a few seconds and then said, yeah, you don't really know what you do. Jess insisted that she would have fought tooth and nail against any threat to our daughter,

to which I responded, even a couple of kids breaking a car window with a baseball bat? Let's call it for what it is. You're kinda useless in an emergency. Jess stood up, called me a dickhead and walked away. It felt really stupid because she was victim blaming the woman in the documentary when Jess showed herself to be a coward of comic proportions. Were my words too harsh? You know, OP, when I was reading the first half of the story, I was getting ready to defend your fiance because I thought grabbing the baby and sprinting to safety is a very like logical and

safe, like a bit extreme, but a fine and acceptable solution to a strange noise. But no, she just abandoned her newborn baby. Honestly, OP, I'm amazed that you're this calm about it, that the only thing that came out of that situation was a snarky comment from a documentary. If I were in that situation and my wife ran away and abandoned me and my child, we would be fighting about that. Fighting viciously, fighting to the point of like probably needing marriage counseling. I would be, I would be infuriated. I mean, you can kind of give her a little bit of leeway because in dangerous situations, people react kind of oddly.

You can't always predict how you're going to behave. But yo, abandoning a nine-year-old, there's just, there's no excuse. I would genuinely be considering divorce at that point. I'm not even kidding you. I feel like if a wild animal charged at Jess, she would just pick up her baby and throw it at the wild animal, hopefully to create a distraction so she could run away. OB, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Maybe I could see giving you 0.5 out of 5 buttholes for going to check out the dangerous situation when you have a baby and when you've got a baby, okay, that's not the time to be a hero. If you've got a baby with you, it's time to run to safety. But personally, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving just 2.5 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for spending my son's university fund on a trip to Europe to drink beer like I always threatened instead of giving it to a stepbrother after he passed away? My son was smart. of giving it to a stepbrother after he passed away? My son was smart. Smarter than me. I almost requested a paternity test because he was so intelligent! That's a joke, by the way. My ex and I divorced when he was 12. She remarried when he was 14. I did when he was 16. I had an education fund set up for him. As long as he went to a post-secondary education, he could use that money for anything. I always told him that I was okay with him not going to university. That way, I could use the money that I'd saved up for a trip to Belgium where I could buy some beer from monks that only allow you to buy one case. He knew that I was joking and always played along. He wouldn't let

me get his goat. When he got accepted into McGill, it was the proudest moment of my life. I took him out for a beer to celebrate his achievement and mourn the loss of my trip to Europe. However, my son was struck and killed by a drunk driver in March. I'm dealing with it, my ex is dealing with it. My wife has been nothing but a rock during this. She's holding me up. I was dealing with the funeral arrangements and everything when my ex came to talk to

me about his money. She knew that he had a scholarship and was just going to use the money for living expenses and an emergency fund. She asked me what I was going to do with it. I said that I was going to do what I always said that I was going to do. Go to Europe and drink beer. She asked me if she could have it for her stepson. I thought about it and said no.

Her husband is a decent enough person, but he made it clear that he was not responsible for any expenses for my son. Beyond food and shelter and stuff, obviously. Like I said, he's a decent guy. I said that I wasn't going to do that. That I was going to drink beer in my son's honor. She said that I'm wasting thousands of dollars. And I guess that I am.

I have to give back the government portion of the fund but I don't care. My ex thinks that I'm being stupid and irresponsible wasting my son's money like this but I don't care. My son would laugh his butt off if he knew that I actually did it. Okay so to be super super clear, this isn't his son's money, this is OP's money. In America at least, these accounts are in your name but you spend them on other people's education. And it sounds like this is also how it works in Canada considering OP has the money and

it didn't go into like, I don't know, wills and probate or whatever it is called when people die. So this is a really simple matter of this is OP's money so he can spend it however the hell he wants to. Honestly, OP, I think what you're doing here is a really sweet way to remember your son. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm inclined to give your ex-wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes because while I can't blame her for asking, I mean hey, what's the harm in asking?

It is nonetheless very hypocritical to get angry at OP for refusing, especially considering her husband's stance on finances. Am I the butthole for throwing away my husband's Father's Day gifts after what he did on Mother's Day? My husband and I have two kids, a six-year-old boy and an eight-month-old girl. He told me for two weeks leading up to Mother's Day that he had an entire weekend planned for me. This is not normal, but there's been years in the past where I did complain and feel

hurt because he didn't really do much of anything for me for Mother's Day. But I always go all out for him on Father's Day and I just feel unappreciated. So I thought that he finally understood where I was coming from and was going to make it special for me this year. I quite literally ONLY asked for a massage, and he repeatedly said that he couldn't just give me a massage because it wasn't enough. So like, I don't know. At this point, I'm truly thinking that this man went all out. Anyways, Friday rolls around and a bunch of people start showing up. He invited a good 10-15 people over, but I think I

only knew two of them. He called it a Mother's Day bonfire. We had a fire alright, but I was the one who chased the kids around all evening. And quite literally, no one spoke to me. I wasn't acknowledged until the very end of the evening, and that was by my husband's buddy who told me that he was stealing my husband to go out four-wheeling. It's like 11pm at this point and everyone, except me, was drinking. I said that my husband wasn't going anywhere. I even said this to my husband. I said, you're drinking, you're not going anywhere. He took that to mean, oh, I need

to find a designated driver and then I can go. So then he asked his neighbor to drive him out and took off with everyone. I'm extremely hurt at this point because this was my promised weekend and I got stuck with other people's kids. I wasn't spoken to at all and I had a mess to clean up and now my husband was taking off. I explained how hurt I was the next morning. He says that he gets it and apologizes and said that he just had too much to drink and wasn't really thinking clearly. Okay, I get it. It's whatever. He didn't do anything Saturday

because he spent half the day sleeping off a hangover. Well, yesterday rolls around and his boss calls him at 6am and asks him to come into work because they're short staffed and he said yes. So I expressed that I was hurt and said, but it's Mother's Day and he said, I know, I'm sorry, I just don't want to pass up the opportunity for more hours. Which I get that, so whatever. He gets home at 5pm and starts getting the kids dressed and ushered towards the door, so I'm thinking that we're finally going to celebrate. We end up going on a walk. I love walking.

But five minutes in, he starts complaining and has us turn around because of the black flies, which aren't even that bad. So again, I'm disappointed. When we get back home, he lays down on the couch and says, Oh, your gift is in the truck. So I go down and it... Yo, what? It's a $5 storage container for sugar or

flour. I do like these types of containers, but I'm so hurt at this point. I asked him if I could at least get a massage and he says, I'm sorry babe, I'm just so tired and falls asleep around 8pm when he usually doesn't even go to bed until midnight or 1am. I just sat there crying. I took the three gifts that I'd already bought him for Father's Day and chucked them in the trash can.

They were personalized items that cost me more than I want to admit, but I don't even care anymore. He found them in the garbage this morning and asked me what they were and why they were in the trash covered in food. And I told him that they were his Father's Day gifts and left it at that. He's now saying that he tried to make my weekend special and that he's hurt by me throwing away his gifts to retaliate against him for not turning out the way that he wanted it to. Yo, how can this guy say that Mother's Day didn't turn out the way that he wanted it to? He literally planned it and it went

exactly according to his plan. Well, except for the one part where wanted it to, he literally planned it and it went exactly according to his plan. Well, except for the one part where he had to get a designated driver. But other than that, seems like his party went off without a hitch. This guy's figured out a hack. Basically instead of having a Mother's Day and a Father's Day every year, he gets two Father's Days. OP, your husband is super scummy and you should really stop having kids with this guy.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your husband 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that his fragile masculinity is costing us money? I'm a 44 year old woman and my husband Craig is 46. Back in 2021, we welcomed our fourth child into the world. As a result, we needed to upgrade one of our cars to something larger. We decided to trade in my super reliable Toyota RAV4 for something bigger since I was the one who drove the kids around most often. I was open and ready to embrace minivan life, and I was planning to buy something reliable

and safe like a Honda or Kia. But Craig had his heart set on an SUV. In his mind, minivans were too feminine. So against my better judgement, we ended up purchasing a used 2018 Mercedes GLS450, mainly due to his insistence. He argued that this car would offer similar space to the Kia or Honda minivans that I wanted but with added luxury. Since it was priced like a loaded Honda van, we went ahead and purchased it. After two years, I can safely say that we made the wrong choice. While the car does have good passenger space, it doesn't seem

to have as much cargo room as those minivans. The reliability has been awful. The car's had eight recalls during our ownership. Even when it's not being recalled, it's been so much time at the dealership because something's always broken. Some repairs have been covered under warranty, but so far we've still shelled out $9,000 in repair, not even including maintenance. Also OP lists out a few random things that annoys her, like the engine light and the car can be jerky sometimes. On Saturday I was supposed to drive our eldest son to a soccer game and then take my younger kid to the doctor's office.

When I turned on the Mercedes, it sounded very rough, the engine light was on, and the temperature reading was extremely wrong. I didn't bother risking it and ended up Ubering with the kids. I told Craig about it that night. He listened at first, but when I suggested selling it, he cut me off and said that he wasn't getting a van just because I wanted a van. He was so combative and defensive with the way that he said it. And because I was so tired from the day, I lashed out.

We argued, it got heated, and I ended up saying, your fragile masculinity is costing our family so much money. In retrospect, maybe my tone was harsh, but he was being needlessly difficult. We haven't really spoken much since then. I'll also be Ubering to work this week since I will NOT be touching that car. Am I the butthole? Yo, I don't even understand this dude's logic. He needs to have a masculine car that his wife drives? By that logic, does he also require his wife to dress like a man, to talk like a man and walk like a man? I don't know man, your husband's dumb.

OP, you literally are correct. His fragile masculinity is costing your family a lot of money. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving him 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for saying that I wouldn't allow my brother and his kids to live with me when I buy my house? So I've been saving to put a down payment on a house in Brooklyn. It's been hard saving and skipping nights out, but I've always wanted to have something in my name so that later in life it'll pay off. Usually, I never tell my family about me making big decisions because in some way, they always try to spin it to benefit them. But I told my mom that I'm excited about a house that I saw. It's in Brooklyn. The house needs some work. New driveway, paint, and I would definitely redo the kitchen. I've always been handy and I can do most of this stuff

myself or figure it out. It's a decent house that has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a decent sized yard. I told my mom about it and she told my older brother. He has a wife and three kids and they live about one and a half hours north of me. But he also works in the city like I do. He called me and told me how our mother told him about the house. He does work and is an electrician and he said that he could help if I needed it. I thought, oh wow, that's great. He has his own house up north as well. I'd been approved for the loan and I was waiting on the paperwork. He just called me today and asked when is he and the kids moving in because he has to ask off work to move things in.

I was confused because I thought that he was just messing with me. So I said, wait, what are you saying? He said that he offered to do electrical work in the house so he and his kids should be able to live there. What? I explained to him, in what world do you believe that doing electrical work equates to him living in a house that's MINE? He started to go on about having multiple kids is expensive and commuting every day

for work is costly. I simply said, that's not my problem, you're an adult. Then I hung up on him. My mom called me screaming saying why am I promising to let my brother stay in the house and now changing my mind. I never promised anything to him and it's annoying that he's trying to manipulate the situation. I told my mom that he offered to do electrical work and now he's saying that he gets to move in. I told her he is not moving in and I'll hire someone else to do the electrical work. She told me that my brother

is close to losing their house and they need help and that I should help because we're family. I asked her why are you telling me to help instead of offering to help yourself. I said that it's not going to happen. The majority of my family has been calling me saying that I'm disgraceful. It's so annoying because I don't want my brother on the street with his family, but what if I never got the house? Then they would have been in the exact same predicament. I refuse to help. It makes me not even want to buy the house. You know, the crazy thing is if OP's brother is about to lose the house, then theoretically they're being forced to sell it, which means they could take the money from that house and buy, you know, a cheaper house or go in 50-50 with OP's house

And they could, you know, share in the mortgage and the payments and all that but no It's just they expect OP to pay for their lifestyle, which is a bullshit OP you get zero out of five buttholes your mom gets 1.5 out of five buttholes and your brother gets 2.5 out of five buttholes That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it? It's the best deal, the highest cash back, the most savings on your shopping.

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