rSlash - r/AITA Wife Buys New Clothes instead of Doing Laundry

Episode Date: June 22, 2024

0:00 Intro 0:07 Top dog 3:29 Issues 9:25 Cruise 11:30 Contributions 14:57 Paying for the wedding Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to r slash am I the butthole where OP's wife is a fancy pants rich McGee over here. Am I the butthole for telling my wife's friends that I make more money than she does? I'm a 25 year old guy and I'm married to my wife, Sasha, who's 28. She comes from a pretty wealthy background, while I decidedly do not. My dad left before I was born and my mom died when I was 11. I've mostly gotten over it as much as one can get over something like that. However, I'm still sensitive on any so-called jokes on that subject. I graduated summa cum laude and went straight into investment banking. I met my wife when I was 23 and just starting my career, but

after three years I earned pretty well. My wife is a lawyer. Now I love my wife, and she loves me, obviously, but her family hates me. Like from the depths of their soul hates me. I've been called a gold digger, a lowlife, and a few more vague insults on my table manners. I went to a party with her the other day. One of those fancy schmancy things where everyone drinks champagne and complains about this, that and the other. Talking about, oh we spent so much money on renovations, oh ho ho ho ho. I got the usual mild comments from my wife's family and close friends on where my wife picked me up from. My wife's friend, Lacey, didn't know about my family's history before we met.

We were talking about dads, don't ask me why, and I got a question about what my dad did. I said, I don't know, I never met the guy. Lacey made this kind of exaggerated gasp, and went, oh well, we all know why you're with your wife then, don't we? I acted all confused and Lacey got flustered and just kept going with, well, you know. My wife tried to move the conversation along, but by this point I wasn't letting it go. I kept pushing and pushing until Lacey finally said, well, you two don't exactly have the same finances, do you?

And then I responded with, You're right, I make quite a bit more than she does. Lacey, by this point, was too embarrassed to keep going. I had kind of ruined the vibe. But the night went on. This isn't the kind of event that you just walk away from. We went home, and that's when things with my wife devolved. She told me it was crazy of me to keep pushing on that point and turn one comment into one of the most embarrassing moments of her life. And now everyone in her circle must

think that she's some kind of failure to earn so much less than her husband and that I'd ruined everything. But it's not like I lied. I'm just tired of being treated like garbage by her circle. My wife is upset though and I do care about her so I need to know, am I the butthole? Okay, hold on. So your wife is just totally okay with her friends and family constantly insulting you? She never sticks up for you, she never defends you, she never puts her foot down, she just, oh Teehee, yeah, my husband's a loser, look at him, and then just, that's it? And then you stick up for yourself once and you're the bad guy? I guess it goes to show, money can't buy class. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your snooty patootie, I guess you married her because she's

a cutie, wife two out of five buttholes for constantly allowing you to be put down and I'm giving her friends that score as well. Am I the butthole for accidentally raising my voice at my wife and throwing away her dishes and clothes because she won't wash them and just buy new ones? I'm a 28 year old man and I've been married to my wife, who's 30 for two years now. We've been together for five years. We were going to start trying for a baby, but that got put on hold and it might not happen anymore. My wife and I both work, and we make about the same amount of money and we work about the same

amount of hours. My wife and I originally had a chore system where we would rock, paper, and scissor the calendar for our days off. We got a pretty even cut this month, but I will admit that she got more dish days. I got more, if not all, of the laundry. My wife hates washing dishes. She hates it with such a passion that she sometimes just shuts down and cries when she sees them in the sink. Before, when I caught her crying, I immediately went to help her, switched chores for the day, calmed her down and then it was fine.

But because I started doing this, I noticed that she would cry on purpose so that I would wash the dishes. I knew that she was faking it, because the second I took over, her tears stopped, and then she would do something fun that she liked without a care in the world, laughing and smiling. There was no emotional wind down like before. Because of this, we changed our dishes rule to whoever makes the dish washes it, with the one exception of cooking. Whoever cooked doesn't have to wash the pots and pans because they put all the work in for dinner.

Also, this was her suggestion, which I was more than okay with. This was working out for a little while until I noticed that my wife made a lot more dishes than me and just didn't want to wash them. After I made dinner, I asked her when she planned on washing dishes and she blew up on me telling me to, quite literally, fuck off. I did as she said, but I left the dishes. The next day she asked me why the dishes weren't done, and I told her, because you didn't do them. This started a fight, and I washed them, but I was unhappy. I do most, if not all the laundry, because she just won't anymore and I refuse to wear dirty

clothes. The only thing she has to do with the laundry is put it in the basket. That's it! We have a basket for darks, colors, and whites. She insists on her own basket for underwear and whatnot, so that's its own thing and I hand wash it. She hasn't been putting her clothes in the basket. At first I would put all of her clothes in their baskets and wash them because it wasn't a big deal. But then I watched her take off her clothes and just leave them on the floor because you always pick them up for me.

So then I chose to leave her clothes there. She asked me why her clothes weren't done and I said because she didn't put them away. And she blew up on me again. Same story. Recently, this all came to a head with all the fighting. My wife has been getting lazier and lazier to push back because of our fights, and at first I was doing all the chores on top of working. But then I had this little moment of, why am I even doing this? And just stopped. The dishes piled up, her clothes

were left dirty, and crumbs were everywhere on her days to clean. On my days to clean, everything was spic and span. She decided that she was just going to start buying more dishes and clothes to combat not doing her part. I cannot tell you how frustrated this made me. She was buying plastic spoons and forks, paper plates, Walmart t-shirts and whatever other cheap alternative to the nice one she has at home. I just decided to start throwing these away. When she noticed that I was tossing her cheap alternatives, she blew up at me again, and for the first time since we've been together, I raised my voice. My voice is deep, and I'm a big man, so this scared her, which I regretted. I immediately lowered my tone and told

her that she just isn't doing her part, and that she's wasting money buying useless things when all she has to do is just clean up after herself and put her clothes in a basket. She cried and despite how many times I apologized, she told me that she doesn't feel safe with me and that maybe we're better off divorcing. This shattered me. She's been cold with me, sleeping on the couch, and loudly playing SIGNS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE videos. It's such a low blow.

These videos usually talk about yelling, throwing away items, control, emotional abuse, and signs that they're going to get physical. I don't think I'm wrong for what I did, but this is really wearing me down, and I've been getting some texts here and there from our families calling me a butthole, an abuser for throwing away her things and yelling at her and that she needs to divorce me. The yelling was an accident. No one else has wanted to hear what fully happened and it's making me feel alone and a bit crazy.

My friends are either staying out of it or they're on her side if they're women. I've been losing friends. I feel like a butthole now. The really big red flag for me in this post is when OP helped his wife because his wife broke down because she was overwhelmed by the dishes, she seemed to instantly learn that this works. All I have to do is break down, cry, argue, fight, whatever and my husband will do what I want him to.

That emotional manipulation is, in my opinion, worse than the yelling. Now the yelling is still bad, you shouldn't yell at each other, but she told OP to F off. How is that any better or worse than yelling? OP, honestly, I think you should just give your wife what she wants and divorce her. Because I mean, this might be scummy to say, but I'm just guessing here. I think that she's over blowing this to make you feel bad because hey, she learned that emotional manipulation works on you. OP, I'll give you 1 out of 5 buttholes for yelling and I'll give your wife 3 out of 5 buttholes for the constant emotional manipulation. And you know, the laziness too.

Am I the butthole for abandoning my parents on an island in the Caribbean so I could get back to my cruise on time? I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift, my parents got me a cruise. It was also a gift for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation. We usually stay at all-inclusive resorts, but I've always wanted to go on a cruise.

I've warned my parents that cruises are different from resorts and that if we went on excursions, we had to follow the schedule no matter what. Well, it was a week-long cruise and my parents would not head back to the ship when I said that it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals. I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off. They missed the departure by a lot, like 45 minutes. They got a hold of me through WhatsApp. They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them?

What? I wanted to scream that we're not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two couldn't understand what a schedule was. They ended up having to fly to the next port from there and it was expensive. They're pissed at me for leaving them behind. I don't know what I was supposed to do. They literally told me that they knew what they were doing. I wish I'd never asked for this. They're making me miserable because I left without them. Honestly, OP, if anything, you saved them from buying another plane ticket, because if you'd stayed with them, then they would have had to pay for your ticket to get back to the cruise ship as well.

Also, what your parents are expecting is not only rude, I don't think it's legal. There's no way that a ship that size can just chill at port for an extra hour. I'm sure they have other cruise ships, like a limited amount of time they can stay in port, so your parents are dumb-dums. I wonder how your parents can simultaneously be so stupid but also have enough money to go to cruises and all-inclusive resorts every single year. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your parents get, I'll say, 1 out of 5 buttholes, but also like 3 out of 5 on the moron scale. Am I the butthole for telling my girlfriend that if all she brings to the table is intercourse, then she shouldn't be surprised that that's what I want?

Sorry, this isn't incel rage bait. I'm not trying to get her to agree to free use or a bang made or anything like that. My girlfriend and I were having a discussion about our future. She used the phrase, what do you bring to the table? I said that my job made our lifestyle possible, that I did my share of the household chores and that I always treated her with respect. She said that was the bare minimum. She said that she also contributes to our budget. She does, yeah, but about 10%. She's in school so she doesn't work much. I didn't really care about that.

I thought the plan was for her to contribute more once she got a job after she graduated. Apparently, that is not the plan. She wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Two our dogs because we're child free. So I said that if all she brings to the table is inner chorus then I would expect it all the time. As a joke. As a joke.

She did not take it that way. She said that I earn enough for the both of us and that she would be doing lots of other stuff for us. That thinking of her as just for intercourse was demeaning. I asked for examples, but she couldn't give any except for her half of the chores. So she would want me to work, support her, and do half the housework in return for… what exactly? Watching my dogs? I said that was not going to happen. She could either contribute fairly or we were not going to work because I don't want a bang made. I also want to save money, but right now I'm subsidizing her life, so I'm not putting as much into my retirement as I would like. She said that she wasn't serious about staying home, but she is angry with me for what I

said. I was just trying to make light of what I thought was a ridiculous idea. Alright, it kind of confuses me how OP keeps using the word bang maid. I've never heard that before. I've heard of topless maids, but bang maid is a new one. But the thing is, this girl isn't even a bang maid. She's more like a bang pet sitter. It sounds to me like your girlfriend was lying when she said she's not really serious about staying home.

It sounds like she was serious, but she was testing the waters to see if you're okay with it. And then when you're not okay with it, she turns it into a fight, which is a really scummy thing to do. And like I can see some people having an argument for why your joke is inappropriate. I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think it's a fitting joke for the conversation. I mean, a little mean. I could see some people getting their feathers ruffled, but I think it's an acceptable joke here. You know what this sounds

like? I'll be honest with you. This sounds like she's been infected by social media. Right now, I don't really know what's going on in the world of TikToks and podcasts, but there's just an insane amount of content of basically just genders complaining about the opposite gender. Men complaining about women, women complaining about men. And I think that once you start to like consume that content, it kind of infects your brain and you just sort of see injustice amongst the genders everywhere you look. And so I think your girlfriend could stand to get off a TikTok. That's just a guess. That's just a guess. I could be wrong, but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm right.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your girlfriend, let's say, 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for just being hypocritical and entitled. Am I the butthole for telling my stepdaughter that she can have her dead dad pay for the wedding? My stepdaughter is 27. I may have gone too far. My current wife divorced her ex when her three kids were young. He was an addict. She met me a few years later and we dated for two years before she introduced me to her kids. Two of the kids really hit it off with me, but the third, Kelly, did not like me. It was just passive aggressive stuff, but it became much worse when her dad passed away.

She did not take it well, which resulted in a lot of outbursts. I wasn't living with them at this time. She went into therapy, but overall it didn't seem like therapy helped that much. She threatened to run away if I married their mom. So I stayed away, but I continued to date their mom. Over time, the two other kids started to stay at my place to get away from the drama. It was a rough time for them, and we bonded even more. When Kelly was 18, me and my wife decided to stop putting our life on hold and we got married. Kelly hated this! The other kids were happy though.

Every interaction I've had with her has been unpleasant and I don't see her as one of my kids. I eventually adopted her siblings when they were 16 and 17. They asked me to. During that time, Kelly destroyed a lot of her siblings' stuff for betraying their dad. Nowadays, I rarely see Kelly and I prefer it that way. Me and the other two kids have an

on and off relationship. I paid for the weddings of those two kids. Then I got a phone call from Kelly where she asked ME to pay for her weddings since I paid for the other two. I told her NO. This started an argument about how it's unfair. I had enough and told her to have her dad pay for the wedding. She hung up after some lovely names. I may have gone too far, which makes me a jerk. Ugh, this is a tough one, OP. Man, let me think about this. I think you do deserve a butthole score because, gosh, criticizing a girl's dead dad is kind

of a low blow. Now, I'm not saying she deserved some kind of retaliation because she's being a real jerk herself. So I think I'll give you one out of five buttholes and give her two out of five buttholes. I don't really know, but asking you to pay for the wedding is, uh, nutso. Torment you her entire life and then, hey, by the way, can I have $15,000 for a big fancy wedding? Yeah right, lady.

That was r slash am I the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new reddit podcast episodes every single day.