rSlash - r/AITA Wife's Whale Obsession is Ruining My Life!

Episode Date: March 29, 2025

0:00 Intro 0:08 Race 2:51 Comment 3:17 Ho 6:56 Inherited home 9:23 Whale sounds 12:12 Location Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca. The wait is over. The NBA season is here, and FanDuel's the place to bet on all the action. I'm talking everything from point spreads to money lines to player props. You can even pick who's going to win it all. Whether you're betting on a breakout performance

or an underdog victory, tip off the season right with North America's number one sportsbook. Just download the app and bet on the NBA all season long. Please play responsibly. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connectsontario.ca. questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connectsontario.ca. Welcome to r slash am i the butthole where a white husband calls his black wife his slave. Am I the butthole for telling my husband that he should have just married a white woman? For context, I'm a black woman and my husband is white. I have 4c hair and I wrap my hair in a satin scarf to go to bed. For those of you who don't

know what that means, basically my hair curl pattern is really tightly coiled so my hair texture is kinky and easily tangled and easily breakable if not taken care of well. I used to sleep on a satin pillowcase when my hair was shorter and I had a lower chance of tangling when I tossed and turned in my sleep. But recently, I've added oils to my nightly routine. And since my hair is a bit past my shoulders now, the chances of it tingling are higher. And I don't want my pillowcases to get soaked with oils. So I started wrapping my hair up again. The first night that I wore my hair in a wrap, my husband said that I looked like a slave. Which, okay, was a little bit funny and a little bit true in my scarf and

nightgown combo, so I let him have that one. But since then, it's all these little comments when I get into bed, like, are we doing the slave tonight? Or should I help you into bed, grandma? Little things like that. I've explained why I do this and I think he understands that, but he simply doesn't like it and my hope was that he'd get used to it by now. Last night I was getting ready for bed and I couldn't find my scarf anywhere so I asked my dear husband if he'd seen it and he admitted that he hid it but he wouldn't tell me where. He wouldn't stop joking around even when I got visibly upset and said that he wished he could run his fingers through my hair or something along those lines.

And I snapped and said if he wanted that, he should have married a white woman. He got really upset after that and told me where he hid it. We haven't talked much about it, but there's this air of awkwardness. The only times he mentioned it was this morning when he said that we should look into counseling for our race issues and that I made him feel really racist and I didn't think about it that way. I thought he was upset because I yelled at him, but I didn't think that it was the statement itself.

Now, he's suggesting couples counseling to get through our race issues. I don't think it was that serious and I don't want to go through all that. Am I the butthole? Okay. Calling your black wife a slave feels pretty racist to me. I'm in a mixed race marriage myself and I have never called my wife a racial slur the entire time I've known her and she has never called me a racial slur in the entire time I've known her and she has never called me a racial slur in the entire time she's known me. So it's like a pretty easy thing to do to not say those things. Why would you make that joke?

Also, this comment from Deleted sounds really relevant. What the hell? As a black woman with a white husband, when I lost my bonnet, he went to Target late at night to grab me a few new ones. You can't marry a black woman and not want her to do black woman things. Disgusting slave comment too. What the hell is he thinking? OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes.

I think your husband deserves… let me think… 2.5 out of 5 I think feels fair. Am I the butthole for telling my mom that she's a whore? I'm the oldest daughter of 4 children. I'm currently 25, then 23, 20, and 18. When I was 8 years old, my mom had an affair with a family friend. I, being the oldest, has remembered most of it and my younger siblings only remember growing up with our parents co-parenting. This has put a strain on my mother and I's relationship. She cheated on my father who was battling cancer. She didn't even try to keep it a secret from the kids. I remember during family and friend gatherings when everyone would be inside and

I'd see my mom and the family friend kissing or doing things in the pool. As a kid, I didn't understand, but as I got older, I realized what she was doing in front of us and I felt sick. People ended up catching on to their affair years later and my mom left my dad and started a new relationship with this family friend. They split up shortly after that because he cheated on my mother. I confronted her about this after my dad passed away and we all went to see a family therapist. That was roughly three years ago. My mom has since remarried to an incredible man, but recently she was out and bumped into that man from her past. They exchanged emails and she confided in me that they've been sending emails back and forth and they're

planning to meet up to chat and catch up. I read the messages and it's very apparent that the guy still has feelings, while my mom is trying to make it seem like she's just catching up with an old coworker. But I know my mother, and I know she's still slightly infatuated with this man, and flattered that he still wants her. I mean, it's been years, why else would you want to catch up?" My new stepdad knows about her past, and while he doesn't agree with it, it's been years, and he wasn't in her life yet.

She asked me what I thought about her meeting up with him, and she said something along the lines of needing closure. She asked for my honest opinion about the matter and I told her, to be honest mom, you dealing with this guy in the past ruined yours and daddy's marriage and you guys had 4 kids. I don't know why you think it wouldn't ruin this one, but why don't you stop being a whore and stop thinking with your lady parts and delete this guy's damn email. She cried and said she just couldn't believe that I called her a whore and left my house.

We haven't spoken for a few days. Today I got a call from my siblings saying I hurt my mom's feelings and whatever happened between her and daddy's marriage was between them. I disagree. I had to witness my mom cheating on my father. I watched him die in bed while she was off to god knows where with this man. She asked for my opinion and my opinion is that she's a selfish whore who left my dad to die on his own. And she wants to rekindle with this man and possibly cheat on my new stepdad? Sorry, I'm not sorry for feeling

some type of way about it. I, okay, I'm not really sure which is worse here. The cheating, which is definitely, definitely bad. Or bringing in your daughter as a co-conspirator in your cheating. Talking to your kids about your sex life is already icky enough in my opinion. But also having them help you decide whether or not it's a good idea to cheat on her new stepdad is… this is just… okay, I'm getting flustered, I gotta calm down. This woman is pissing me off. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mom four out of five buttholes. Zero lies detected.

Am I the butthole for turning the home that I inherited into an Airbnb? My sister thought that it would be a family home forever. About six months or so ago, my grandpa died. For simplicity's sake, let's say his estate is worth about 1.5 million. In his will, he said that me, my sister, and my cousin each get one third share. His estate was basically two cash amounts and the other share was his beach home in California. Basically, the oldest got to pick which they wanted, then the second oldest picked and

then the youngest got whatever was left, which is me. I got the beach house and my sister and cousin each got $500,000 cash. For the last six months, I've allowed my sister to stay in the house whenever she likes. But I just got my first tax bill, and I either have to sell it or start making some income off it. After talking to a real estate agent, I've decided the best course of action is to turn the house into an Airbnb. That way, I can still use it if I like, but my sister can pay me to use it if she still wants to go there. Basically, there's not someone renting it full time. My sister is furious with me for so many reasons.

First of all, I know she's upset because she can no longer use the house for free. But she's also telling me that I basically became a rent seeking capitalist who is going to ruin the neighborhood, which has been seen as a total classic surf neighborhood since the 1950s. She's written me angry email after angry email after angry email calling me all sorts of names. She also says it's not fair because her inheritance went to deaths, but I still make money from mine, and that if she had chosen the house, I could have stayed there anytime I want. She's my older sister, and I've always been impressionable to the things she says to me and I'm feeling a lot of guilt and shame for what she told me.

Am I the butthole here? You know, funny, if your sister really wanted the house, she could use that $500,000 she has to buy the house from you. And come on, she has $500,000 debt. Either she's terrible with money, in which case don't listen to her financial advice, or she's just lying to make you feel bad, which is more likely, I think. It's very funny how the sister expects to benefit from your inheritance, but she didn't offer to share any of her inheritance with you. Isn't that strange how that works out? OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your sister gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. What a hypocrite!

Am I the butthole for sleeping in my car because my wife won't stop playing whale sounds at night? Okay, so this is weird, but I need to know if I'm in the wrong here. My wife, who's 32, has recently gotten REALLY into whale sounds. It started as something she played while working from home, and I didn't mind. Then she started listening to them while doing chores, cooking, and even during dinner. Again, fine, I figured it was a phase. But then she started playing them at night. I mean, full blast, speakers on either side of the bed,

deep ocean whale calls echoing through our room like we're sleeping at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. She says it helps her relax and feel connected to nature. The problem is I can't sleep through it. I've tried earplugs but I swear I can still hear them. I wake up to haunting eerie moaning sounds and feel like I'm in some kind of deep sea horror movie. I asked if she could at least lower the volume or use headphones. She refused, saying the sound needs to fill the room for the full effect. I even tried playing my own relaxing noises to balance it out, like rain sounds or white noise,

but she said they ruin the purity of the ocean experience. After weeks of this, I finally snapped and just started sleeping in my car. I parked it in our driveway, reclined the seat, and actually got my first full night of sleep in weeks. Now she's furious saying that I'm abandoning our bed over something trivial and making her feel guilty for trying to create a peaceful home environment. I told her I'd happily come back if we could compromise on the whale sounds, but she says I'm being selfish and refusing to understand her needs.

So am I the butthole for choosing my car over the Call of the Wild? Hahaha. So I clicked on Opie's profile to see if he'd posted any updates or anything. And this guy has one, two, three, four, five, six posts. And these are the subreddits that he's posted in. rslash rate my dong, rslash skinny dudes, rslash penis, rslash am I the butthole, and then rslash nude male art. So this guy has a whale problem and loves posting pictures of his dong on the internet.

Also, I have an interesting fact about whale sounds. The sperm whale can produce sounds up to 230 decibels underwater. For comparison, standing next to a jet engine is only 140 decibels. So a whale is almost double that. It's apparently so loud that if you're next to a sperm whale when it makes this sound, your eardrums will explode and you could possibly die. But realistically, nobody has to worry about that ever happening because all of those whale sounds are happening exclusively in OP's bedroom.

Am I the butthole for hiding the location of my best friend from my wife? About five years ago, I moved about 15 hours away from my hometown for a job. Shortly after moving, I met my now wife, Becca. A few years ago, I had a buddy, JR, from back home come stay with me. While here, JR met my wife's sister, Maggie. JR and Maggie hit it off. They pretty quickly started dating. Maggie has a daughter from a previous relationship. The daughter's dad is very much in the picture. Almost a year ago, Maggie and JR moved in together. At the time, Maggie was living with her parents because she couldn't afford rent on her own. Things seemed to be going well. It's a long story, but almost two months ago, JR got pretty irrefutable proof

that Maggie was cheating on him. He was angry, depressed, and overall distraught. He could not deal with confronting her, but he also couldn't deal with living with her. He talked to me and wanted my help to get away. So I reached out to my network of people who are not mutual friends of Becca and I and I got him a place to stay. Becca, Maggie, Maggie's daughter, and my mother-in-law were going out of daughter, and my mother-in-law were going out of town to visit my mother-in-law's mom a few weeks after he found out. I had a work friend with a rentable house. I helped JR pack his stuff, which was like 90% of the apartment, and he moved out. He sent an email to Maggie about why he moved out. He left a check for rent

and utilities through the end of March when their lease is up and informed the landlord that he was not renewing. Maggie got the email and called JR numerous times while on the trip. My wife called me and asked what was going on and where was JR. I told her that JR moved out and he was safe, but I will not tell her where he is. They got back and Maggie flipped about all the stuff that JR took. My wife was quite angry and demanded to know where JR was. I kept telling her that he's safe, but I'm not telling her where he is. The last month has been tense and my wife has begged and made threats to know where JR is. She's even tried to use my phone to impersonate me to call JR and get information.

I've since changed my passcode. She says, we're married, this is affecting my family, I deserve to know. I refuse. She's even talked about this being divorceable. Am I the butthole? Yo, hold on, what's the wife's stance on the cheating? Is she just… does she just… not care? She really thinks JR is the problem

here, not her cheating sister. Hold on, there's an edit. Uh, my wife knows that JR left. Maggie has admitted since he left that she was cheating. My wife denies knowing about the cheating and I do believe her. Historically, Maggie and Becca are not close. Prior to JR moving here, we would see Maggie maybe once every three months. Since JR moved, we see her a lot more because JR and I regularly organize get-togethers, which is why my wife's reaction is surprising to me. The stuff that JR took was only his stuff. In fact, a lot of the stuff he left is also his stuff. Other than gadgets, he left all the kitchen stuff despite it being 100% his. He left all the

stuff in my niece's room even though he paid for a lot of it. Still, the fact that the wife is taking the sister's side here is a red flag and defending the cheater and getting all upset against the cheating victim is an even bigger red flag. So OP, I'd be a little bit cautious around that wife of yours if I were you. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. You seem like a great friend. I'm giving Maggie 3 out of 5 buttholes and your wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was r slash amythebutthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.