rSlash - r/AmIA--Hole My Nephew's Prank Almost Murdered My Husband

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

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Welcome to R-Slash, am I the butthole where O.P.'s husband is nearly murdered because it's just a prank, bro! Am I the butthole for kicking my nephew out of my house after he hid my husband's inhaler as a prank? I'm a 30-year-old woman and my sister, who's 39, has cancer. She's a single mother for a 16-year-old son. We were asked to take him in while she gets treated, so we could help him focus on studying and provide a normal routine for him. My husband has asthma. He needs his inhaler throughout the day. The thing is, my nephew was a prankster. He'd hide the inhaler as a prank and then give it back as soon as there's a panic in the house. So far, he's done it two times and to him, it's just him messing around. The other day my husband called me while

I was at work panicking saying that his inhaler was lost. I asked if my nephew had taken it as a prank, but he doubted it since my nephew would give it back instantly after we panic. I got home and we looked for it for hours and eventually we had to go to the hospital. When we got back we found it sitting on the coffee table. My husband and I looked at each other, and the next thing we knew, my nephew was giggling upstairs. In that moment, I just lost it. I yelled at him, then told him that he was no longer welcome in my home.

He started panicking, and my parents called me to get to the bottom of what happened. But they still defended him, saying that it was a prank And that I took things too far by kicking him out when his mom was struggling. They insisted I take him back But I refused. Now they're giving me hell about being unsupportive and making things more difficult for my struggling sister They even blame my husband for not keeping his things locked away. Am I the butthole? Did I make a hasty decision? No! Why don't your parents take him in? Why? Huh? Why is this a discussion? Uh-oh, well, you're not being supportive of okay.

Well then why don't you be supportive? What is wrong with these stupid parents? Oh, it's really important that our spoiled grandkids has a stable upbringing and it's important that you do it. Not his mother, not his grandparents, but you, the aunt, whatever man, you do it. And then like on top of all that, not having an inhaler if you've got bad asthma is literally life threatening as in you could die. Be dead, not alive anymore because it's just a prank bro.

Ha ha ha ha ha, this top comment. Not the butthole. Ha ha ha! Criminal negligent manslaughter was a funny prank, guys. Honestly, OP, I'm surprised you didn't kick him out after the second time he did it. The first time, okay, I can understand. But the second time, nah man, we gave you a second chance. You're out of here. If my niece or nephew was literally endangering the life of my spouse, they would be gone that day. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your sister with cancer gets 2 out of 5 buttholes for raising a disrespectful child.

The 16 year old gets 3 out of 5 buttholes for almost killing your husband. Your grandparents also get 3 out of 5 but holes for being lazy hypocrites. Am I the but hole for telling my wife that she was so close to getting her dream job? I'm a 33 year old man and my wife is 27. Since the start of our relationship, my wife has been very particular about how things get done. And she tends to believe that she knows the one true correct way for anything related to anything. She's admitted that she can be a control freak.

While this bothers me, it's never been a true deal breaker in our relationship. Very often when I do just about anything, whether it be a household chore, assembling a piece of furniture, taking a picture, or writing a presentation for work. In a field where I have a master's degree and she has no formal education, she'll do this thing where she'll condescendingly say, you were so close to getting it right. Really drawing out the so close part. I've told her dozens of times that I prefer for her to stop

because it sounds so condescending, but she insists that she's complimenting me. I do dishes and place them out to dry in an orientation that she doesn't approve of. You were so close! Next time put them this way. I take a picture of her. You were so close! Next time, angle the camera this way. I complete a project at work and show her the results. He was so close. Next time, write it this way. For the last two months, my wife has been undergoing an intensive hiring process for a job in our city. She works in a highly niche field and seldom finds job openings.

And therefore, she was ecstatic to have the opportunity for a relatively well-paying job that she wants to do. She got to the very final stage where the company was considering two people. Coincidentally, the other of whom was her college roommate. Well, on Friday, she got the call, telling her things for the application, but blah, blah, record on file, all that jazz. My wife came to me crying. I immediately comforted her, and you were so close, blurred it out.

Her head whipped up and she asked me what I meant by that. I said she was so close to getting the job, but she was just a bit off. She immediately walked out to stay at her friend's house where she's currently sulking. She finally sent me a text this afternoon calling me a huge jerk. Was I unnecessarily being a butthole here? Okay, oh be, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, your wife did a self report here, a self expose. If she really, truly deep down in her heart

in her soul believed that when she said, oh, sweetie, you were so close. If she believed that she were actually complimenting you, then when you said that to her, she would have said, oh, thank you, sweetie. That makes me feel so much better. But when her head whipped around and she was immediately upset at you, then, aha, we finally see what she truly means when she says that.

She actually is being condescending. She actually does think that she knows more than you do. So when you reverse it on her and use the exact same phrase on her, and she's upset about it, well, why are you upset about it, sweetie? I thought that you thought this was a compliment. Nah, OP. Your wife is a condescending hypocrite. Ha ha. This top comment from Inbizagoth, man, you were so close to being the butthole, but after everything you've endured, not the butthole. Down in the comments, I see people saying that OP does deserve a butthole score because

OP is kicking his wife when she's down, but like, here's the problem. The wife has absolutely no problem kicking OP when he's down and criticizing and condescending him at every opportunity. And OP's tried to approach this diplomatically, sweetly, and say, wife, I don't like it when you do this, can you please stop? And she continues to do it. So if he has to escalate to get the point across, then that's more on her than it is on him.

So I'm giving OP 0 out of 5 buttholes here. I'm giving the wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Also, OP does defend himself down in the comments and says, I want to be completely honest as other people are asking that it wasn't my intention to give her a taste of her own medicine. I just heard that phrase so many times and so many different situations that it was legitimately the first thing to come to mind. And yeah maybe OP is being honest here, maybe he was being a little bit better and kind of slipped out a little bit intentionally,

but I feel like I can give him the benefit of the doubt here because if you hear a phrase over and over and over, then it's pretty natural it'll slip out that way. Am I the butthole for coming home early from meeting my boyfriend's parents? My boyfriend and I went to see his parents for the first time this weekend. It's Canadian Thanksgiving. We were supposed to stay Saturday and Sunday and fly back afternoon Monday. But I'm riding this on Sunday night already back in my own bit. My boyfriend's parents greeted us at the airport and brought us home. They then proceeded to ask me if I had drugs in my bag, and I was pretty shocked

because who says that? I said only Tylenol and they nodded and showed us to our rooms, which meant that I got the guest room and my boyfriend was to sleep in his old room. His parents were serving dinner and during dinner, I was asked to pay for my portion of the Thanksgiving dinner. 30 bucks. I was pretty shocked and angry because who does that? I have never been asked to pay for someone else's ingredient fees when I guessed at their place. I didn't answer and then confronted my boyfriend in his room and asked why I was asked to pay. He just says that it's something they ask of their friends as well. Whenever they have a barbecue, they ask people to pay their portion. Honestly, I'm shocked that you even have friends.

I reminded my boyfriend that he's eaten in my parents' place dozens of times and he was never asked to pay. He claimed that if they asked he would have paid, but they never did. Because it's rude to do that to a guest! Then his mom came and got me and escorted me to my room. I was fuming and looked for tickets home and texted my boyfriend to say that I was going home tomorrow. He called me and begged me to stay, saying that his family already don't like me for not agreeing to pay for dinner, and I'm just making it worse. I ignored him and rebooked an early flight, which was very expensive and got a cab to the airport in the morning. I told my friends this, who it confirmed that they'd never been asked

to pay for a meal while they were a guest. And if they were struggling, why did they even invite me over? Is this normal practice? Their house was pretty big, so I don't think that it was a money thing for them. Uh, yeah, this is peculiar, and it's kind of hard to evaluate because I don't know much about Canadian culture, so I don't know if this is normal in Canadians. Do Canadians like charge people for meals when they come to your house? Is that the meaning of Canadian Thanksgiving? Thanks for the $30 bucks.

And like they have asserted, oh my god, these parents are so funny, she escorted you to your room while you were having a conversation with your boyfriend. And then after you and your boyfriend were fighting about it, so you had to fight over the phone when you're in the same house, but in different rooms, because his parents won't let you to have a face-to-face conversation. Huh? Okay. Weirdness aside, there's a really simple way to approach this, which is the polite thing to do would have been for your boyfriend to pay for your portion of the meal. Because even if this is normal in Canada, which I doubt, your boyfriend has benefited from your

family's free hospitality, so he should return that favor by covering your portion of the bill, so to speak. Like, why did he not even warn you about it? Why did he not offer to pay your share? He just looked over you with a mouthful of turkey, I guess, and was like, are you gonna pay or what? This is this story's weird. I'm starting to think that the reason why they asked you if you had any drugs in your purse wasn't because they were afraid that you were a drugie. It's because I think they wanted to have some themselves. Am I the butthole for returning my daughter's birthday cake after I discovered that my wife made changes to it?

I'm a 37 year old guy, and I have a 13 year old daughter, Olivia, for my previous relationship. I'm currently married to my wife who is a 16 year old daughter named Brittany. So, Brittany is the opposite of Olivia. For example, Brittany's a social kid, but Olivia is an

introvert. The list is long, but they're just complete opposites. Olivia's 13th birthday was two days ago. She loves chocolate, and I decided this is the flavor that I was going to go with when I contacted the bakery. However, my wife objected since Britney absolutely hates chocolate chocolate and she suggested we go with vanilla. I said no way because for one, Olivia hates vanilla and also it's her birthday so she gets to have the cake with her favorite flavor. My wife got upset and took it as I had no regard for Brittany and that we should just choose another neutral flavor instead.

I shut that down and said no more discussing this because I'd already decided to go with what Olivia wanted. On my daughter's birthday, I was supposed to go get the cake, but I was surprised to see my wife coming home after picking up the cake from the bakery. I looked at it and discovered that it wasn't a chocolate cake, but a vanilla cake with small pieces of chocolate on top. I got pissed thinking they got my order wrong and I was about to contact them. But my wife said there was no mistake and that she called the bakery the day before and made a slight changes to the cake to please both girls. I was stunned.

I lost it on her and asked why the hell she did that. She got defensive, saying that birthdays are no excuse to show favoritism and that her daughter is watching and observing how I'm treating both girls. I told my wife off since I was the one paying, then called the bakery and explained what happens. I had the cake returned and replaced with a chocolate cake, although this one is smaller, but it was fine. My wife declined to take part in the celebration, and later we got into

a huge argument where she called me controlling and selfish for returning the cake instead of using this opportunity to teach Olivia to compromise so everyone's happy. She says that now I'm teaching Olivia to be selfish. I said yeah, my daughter does get to act selfish on her birthday and that she, my wife, was teaching her daughter to be entitled. This led to an even bigger argument. As of now, we're not talking. Am I the butthole for returning the cake and not taking my wife's input into consideration?

Okay, okay. So when it's Britney's birthday, who loves vanilla and hates chocolate, I'm certain that your wife would want to get a chocolate cake, because obviously if she got a vanilla cake for Brittany's birthday, then that would be spoiling her, right? And it's very important to teach Brittany the value of compromising. No, of course your wife wouldn't do that. Why? Because she's biased. She's clearly biased towards her own daughter. She expects you and Olivia to compromise, but she and her daughter aren't willing to compromise,

but like, it's your daughter's birthday. She should be selfish on her birthday, the day's all about her because it's her birthday. That's how birthdays work. Opie, I don't really understand why your wife is like choosing this hill to die on, because I mean, it's not Brittany's birthday. It's Olivia's birthday. So why is she getting so fired up about this just because her daughter doesn't get someone

else's tasty birthday cake? Like, what? Red flags, OP. Like, obviously, we're not really in divorced territory here, but still, these are red flags. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five but holes for standing up for your daughter and I'm giving your wife 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not paying for my daughter's wedding because she invited my brother and his family? I'm a 46 year old man and my brother is 48. When I was 20, my then girlfriend cheated

with my brother. I was heartbroken and pissed. I told him that he is no longer my brother. Despite my request, my family didn't cut him off, so I told him that I will never again be in the same place as he is. If they wish to invite both of us, then they should just invite him because I'm the one giving the ultimatum. My daughter is getting married in spring next year. In our culture, both parents pay for the wedding 50-50. Unexpectedly, my daughter sat me down and told me that she'll be inviting my brother and his family. By the way, my brother married my cheating ex. Apparently, she's been seeing them for the last four years and built a relationship

behind my back. She even wants her cousin to be some kind of flower girl? I was pissed. I told her what my boundaries are, and that if my brother is invited, then I will not pay for my half of the wedding. She became angry and told me that it's time to let go of the past. I told her that it's not her call to make. We argued some more, and she told me that I'm making her wedding about myself. I told her that I probably won't even attend, so that way it'll be all about her.

She left crying. My ex-wife called me screaming and told me I'm a huge butthole and our daughter is crushed. Then my parents called and said the same thing. I told them off and now I'm ignoring their calls. My girlfriend told me that I should reconsider and apologize. That by not paying and not attending, I'll break my relationship with my daughter. I don't know. I think that my boundary should be respected. Am I the butthole for that? Okay, so here's a situation. It's your daughter's wedding. Your daughter has the right to invite or

not invite whoever she wants. And if she wants to invite your brother, then that's her prerogative. But she has to understand as a, then that's her prerogative. But she has to understand, as a big girl, that your actions have consequences. So if she invites her uncle, whom her father hates, she can't be upset at her father for not coming because the uncle is going to be there. Also, it's her wedding, but it's your money. She can't reach her hand out to you asking for money with the expectation that she is immediately going to disrespect your wishes by throwing a party and inviting your hated rival.

Ultimately, OP, your daughter has to pick sides here. You or your brother. It's time to be a big girl and face the consequences of your choices. OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your daughter one out of five buttholes, and I'm giving your family members who criticized you two out of five buttholes, and I'm giving your family members who criticize you two out of five buttholes. I'm giving your brother and ex-girlfriend four out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow

my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.