rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole Daughter, Let Me Rob You Or You're Grounded!

Episode Date: October 23, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole, where O.P.'s husband tricks her into missing her own brother's wedding? Am I the butthole for losing it on my husband, for lying about an emergency to get me to leave my brother's wedding early? My husband has been sick for a few days. He got sick around the time of my brother's wedding. I've been taking care of him 24 hours a day for days now. He's on medication and can move, go to the bathroom, and eat on his own. I told him I was going to my brother's wedding, and he threw a fit saying that I couldn't leave him alone when he's sick. I told him that he's not that sick, that it's just some stomach ache that he's getting treatment for, and I suggested that he call
Starting point is 00:00:39 a sister to come stay with him. He said no, and told me to miss the wedding. I got upset, and bluntly said no, and that he could survive for a and told me to miss the wedding. I got upset and bluntly said no and that he could survive for a few hours while I attend the wedding. He soaked and as I was leaving, he said that he hoped that I never come back. That hurt my feelings, but I know that he was just mad and that he didn't mean it. At the wedding, I got a text from him saying that he lost his balance and fell off the stairs and heard his back. He said that he was in a lot of pain, he threw up and he couldn't move, and he insisted that I get home ASAP.
Starting point is 00:01:12 I freaked out and started calling his phone, but he didn't answer. I thought that he must have passed out, so I freaked out even more. I got in my car and drove back to our house immediately. When I got home, I rushed towards the stairs while calling out his name, but he wasn't there. I started to really freak out. I rushed to the bedroom, where I found him in bed drinking juice, and as soon as he saw me, he put his phone down.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I instantly knew that he lied, so I lost it on him and started yelling, saying that he freaked me out and caused me to miss my brother's wedding for nothing. Absolutely nothing. He said that he already told me that I couldn't leave him alone in the house and that this very scenario could have happened if I'd stayed there any longer. I yelled at him, calling him horrible, which made him cry. He started crying and throwing his juice all over the place. Yo, what? I had to step out and call his sister thinking that she would come help, but she came and started cussing me out, saying that I had a lot of nerve expecting her to back me up after
Starting point is 00:02:15 I so carelessly left her brother alone at the house and that stayed just to attend a party. We got into an argument and I went to stay with my family. My brother understood when I explained the situation to him. My husband and I haven't seen each other since then, but his sister kept saying that I had no right to scream at her brother and caused him to have a panic attack. And she said that he was clear with me from the start about what he wanted, but I chose to be dismissive. Was what I did dismissive? For context, he's 26 and I'm 23. Okay. So, yes,
Starting point is 00:02:49 your husband was very clear about what he wanted, but just because he was clear and he communicated clearly doesn't mean that the thing that he was communicating is okay. Like he could have said, listen, I wouldn't be super clear about my expectations here. I expect you to wait on me hand in foot until I get well. Also, I expect you to wait on me hand and foot until I get well. Also, I expect you to give me all of your money and to never see any of your friends ever again. Like, yeah, that's clear communication, but it's not reasonable. And what's so stupid about this OP is you gave a very reasonable alternative. Call his sister. And then in the story, after you suggested that, you wrote, he said no and told me to
Starting point is 00:03:25 miss it. So that's just the end of the discussion. Why? No. Why can't he call his sister? It has to be you even during your brother's wedding. That's completely unreasonable. Then he lied and intentionally manipulated you, which in my opinion is pretty close to abusive behavior. And then, and then when you call him out, he starts crying and throwing his juice. What is he like? Five? Your poor little husband has a tummy ache and he needs his mommy slash wife to get him some juice and to wipe his butt when he gets the squirty wordies. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes.
Starting point is 00:04:08 He's displaying some really worrying behavior here, OP, and I hope you see this abusive behavior for what it truly is. Am I the butthole for refusing to take my daughter to my ex-husband's wedding? I'm a 42-year-old woman, and I was together with my ex-husband, who's 45 for 20 years. We had a beautiful daughter together, Jocelyn, who's 14. We got a divorce five years ago due to infidelity on his part. I was devastated.
Starting point is 00:04:38 He was the love of my life, and he betrayed all the trust and loyalty that we had built up. To make matters worse, he ended up in a relationship with the woman that he cheated on me with. They got engaged one year later and are set to be married in two weeks. Honestly, I'm still heartbroken over my divorce. It's hurtful to me that we were together for 20 years, and he could just go fall in love with someone else as if I was nothing. However, Jocelyn was only 9 when we divorced and he's a great father, so I would never want to come in between their bond. Jocelyn loves his fiance because she's very sweet to her, but she doesn't know the reason why her dad and I divorced. I want to tell her when she's a bit older, but her dad doesn't want to tell her at all.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Anyways, I compromised with him that Jocelyn could come to the wedding, but that he would have to provide the transportation to and from the wedding, because I want no part of it. I don't want to drop my daughter off at his wedding, I don't want to see all the decorations and the happy guests, it's just too much for me. I didn't tell him all the reasons obviously, but he agreed. Today he called me and asked for a huge favor. It turns out that his future inlaws are flying in the morning of the wedding, and he has to go pick them up. Therefore, he can't pick up my daughter the day of, and wanted to ask if I could take her.
Starting point is 00:05:59 I said absolutely not, and that's why he can't just pick her up the day before when she gets off school. He said that he doesn't want to make the drive twice and that he'll likely not have time because he has to prepare for the rehearsal dinner. I asked why can't the bride pick up her parents. He said that she'll be getting her hair done and won't be able to. I laughed and told him there was no way I was driving my daughter over there and that he'd have to figure it out himself. Boy, why did I say that?
Starting point is 00:06:26 My daughter ran downstairs crying, face beat red, 10 minutes after my conversation with her dad, calling me terrible and accusing me of not wanting her to spend time with her dad. I told her that's not the case, and she demanded to know why I couldn't take her. I couldn't give her an answer, and she ran upstairs crying. Now I'm getting messages from his family calling me heartless, cold, and a B word for trying to ruin his special day over a relationship that's long over.
Starting point is 00:06:55 My family understands my point of view. I feel terrible that I've upset my daughter. I don't know what to do. Am I the butthole? Should I just put aside my feelings and take her? Okay, once again, we have a story that can be resolved with a simple Uber ride. If it's so important that Jocelyn shows up to his wedding, then why doesn't he just order her an Uber or drive down to pick her up extra, extra early? Or ask his best man to drive
Starting point is 00:07:22 down and pick her up? Like, there's dozens of solutions to this problem. The simplest is just get in your car, drive down a few days early, pick up your daughter, spend time with her before the wedding, and then voila, she's at the wedding. It's not like OP is saying, no, I refuse to let my daughter attend the wedding. No, all OP did was set a very reasonable boundary. I'm not going to drive her myself. And then this douchebag is trying to act like OP is intentionally keeping her from the wedding? That's just dumb.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And then calling up the daughter and manipulating her into gilting OP, that's a low blow. OP, in my opinion, 14 is definitely old enough to tell your daughter what really happens. And besides, your ex-husband is clearly willing to manipulate your daughter against you. So as far as I'm concerned, he's the one who opened up his daughter to learning the truth. Also, to be honest, I kind of feel like you owe it to your daughter to tell her the truth. Because if she really wants to attend this wedding, then don't you think she kind of deserves to know the truth about how that wedding came to be?
Starting point is 00:08:26 If I were you OP, I would sit your daughter down until her the truth. And just say that if she really wants to go, then she can order an Uber or ask one of her friends' parents to drive her or something, but that you're not going to drive her yourself. OP, I'm giving you and Jocelyn zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your ex-husband 3.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for moving my money to a different account after my stepmother threatened me with taking the money away from me? I'm a 15 year old girl.
Starting point is 00:08:55 My stepmother and I obviously don't get along. She's been my stepmother for 15 years. The money that I have was in a joint account that was shared with me and my dad. However, my stepmother had access to the debit card and pen number. I earned this money myself by selling handcrafted items. I broke curfew a few days ago, and she's considering taking 20% of my money out of the account as a fine for punishment. And every time this happens, she'll take 20% more until nothing's left. I was very upset about her threat and decided that I should just move my money before she takes it away. I logged in online and I transferred all the money to my big brother's account that night.
Starting point is 00:09:37 And the next day, we went to open a joint bank account with my brother and we moved the money there. That way, she doesn't have access to it anymore. So, upon learning what happened, my dad and stepmom are furious at me and my brother. My stepmom is focused on the fact that I've taken away her means of punishment and my dad is upset that I don't trust him enough to protect my money. He insists that he wouldn't have allowed it. My stepmom has banned me from seeing my brother, which is meaningless because I don't accept her authority to do this. And my dad said that he's hurt that I don't trust him, and as a result, he doesn't trust me anymore.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Oh, P, this last paragraph took a complete nose dive off a cliff. I was like getting all, okay, geez, where do I even start? Okay, let's start with a simple part. Finding your children as a way to punish them is not inappropriate punishments. That's financial abuse. What it's doing is it stealing away your children's independence so that they have to rely on you which makes future abuse even easier.
Starting point is 00:10:39 There's lots of way to punish you. Take away your phone, no TV, no dessert, go to your room, you can't hang out with friends blah blah blah. There's like a million different ways to punish a kid, but taking their money is not an appropriate way to do that. All right, that one's easy. But then your stepmother banned you from seeing your brother. Yo, what story is this? What episode is this? This is episode 1,398. OP, I have made 1,398 episodes on this YouTube channel about Reddit stories.
Starting point is 00:11:11 I have never seen someone say that they are banned from seeing their brother. The fact that she's even trying to do this gives me insight into just how awful your stepmother is. And then, okay, then your dad, then your dad, he's upset that you don't trust him to protect your money. Okay, well, why should you trust him to protect your money when he literally married someone who's
Starting point is 00:11:37 threatening to steal it? And like, okay, yeah, maybe if the step mom had taken your money, then he would have stepped in and intervened and got your money back Maybe we don't know what actually would have happened there But then but then he said that he's hurt that you don't trust him and as a result He doesn't trust you anymore Excuse me you acted in a very logical manner and the way that your dad is punishing you is by saying that he doesn't trust you anymore That is that is psychologically f**ked up OP. That's a really, man, I don't even know how to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:12:12 That's a really messed up level of manipulation. He's implying that you're untrustworthy and that his opinion of you is lowered because you acted in a way to protect yourself from your stepmother? This feels psychologically abusive to me. OP, your stepmother wildly overstepped here. I'm giving her 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm also giving your dad 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. His behavior here is pretty repulsive.
Starting point is 00:12:39 I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your behavior was very logical. I'm also giving your older brother 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your behavior was very logical. I'm also giving your older brother zero out of five buttholes. Your bro is a real bro. If anything, OP, I really, really want to encourage you to continue to build your relationship with your brother because your stepmother is clearly toxic. Your father is abusive and it seems like in this family, your brother is the only one who really has your back here.
Starting point is 00:13:03 So three years from now, I wouldn't be surprised at all if your parents kick you out of your house. And when that moment comes, you may really need to rely on your older brother. Am I the butthole for telling my daughter that her grades are more important than her pain right now? I'm a 46 year old woman and I have a 16 year old daughter. In July, she was in a car accident. Most of her injuries were mild.
Starting point is 00:13:25 She went to the hospital, but they let her go home after a few days of observation. But even after we got home, she still complained a lot about pain. I was concerned and took her to a doctor, but they couldn't find anything wrong. I told her that it was probably in her head and a response to the traumatic event and that she'd be fine in a few days. She stopped complaining about the pain after that and everything seemed good. Fast forward to yesterday and I got an email from her teacher that she's constantly despondent in class and laying her head down and not participating.
Starting point is 00:13:58 I was already seeing red from that and I decided to check on her grades. She turned in multiple assignments late and lost points on them, which is not at all on par with her typical performance. I confronted her about it and she was really quiet at first, like she didn't know what to say. I pushed her on it and she started talking about pain again, which frankly I think is BS. She hasn't said a thing about pain for two months only now when her grades are slipping We started arguing about it and I said that her grades matter more than her pain She's a junior this year and this is not the time to be slacking
Starting point is 00:14:35 She's been in her room ever since refusing to talk to anyone. She wouldn't even go to school today I met a loss. She's never been so difficult. I'm questioning whether or not I'm in the right here. Am I the butthole? Um, yeah. O.P., you're definitely the butthole here. So your daughter came to you repeatedly and say, Mom, I'm in pain.
Starting point is 00:14:57 You took her to the doctor. The doctors did absolutely nothing. So logically, she's still gonna be in pain. Then you told her that she's imagining the pain, which is basically you telling her to stop complaining about it. So that's exactly what she did. She just stopped complaining about the pain, which meant no treatment, no support, no help whatsoever. So she's been suffering in pain for months alone. Of course her grades are going to slip.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Like you said to yourself, Opie, this is not typical for her alone. Of course her grades are gonna slip. Like you said to yourself Opie, this is not typical for her performance. So shouldn't that be a clue that something's actually wrong here? Please listen to your daughter and get her the support that she's desperately been asking you for. Opie, I'm giving your daughter zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving you three out of five buttholes. You know what's so bad about this? Is that if O.P. is right and the pain really is all in her head, then that means that O.P. basically said, oh sweetie, you have PTSD. Well, good like dealing with it. Like, if your daughter is so psychologically damaged from an event that it's manifesting in actual physical pain, then maybe, you know, I don't know, get a
Starting point is 00:16:05 therapist. That was our slash amy the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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