rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole for Almost MURDERING My Coworker?

Episode Date: May 21, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP almost murders his boss's daughter. Am I the butthole for sending my coworker into anaphylactic shock? I'm at a loss here guys, realistically I know that I'm in the clear, legally I'm in the clear, but I'm being vilified by my coworkers and I'm genuinely considering quitting my job because of this mess. So I work a pretty standard day job, and at night I help my friend at a restaurant, which serves an assortment of Taikwazine. To be honest, I'm insanely picky, but I fell in love with the peanut sauce the main chef makes, and he showed me how to make it.

So, about once a week, I take it on either noodles or stir-fied to my day job for lunch. People know this, and a handful of people have tried it. It smells nutty, it tastes nutty, it's white girl pad Thai, basically. Lately, my lunches have been disappearing, or I'll open my lunch box to find half of my food missing. I've tried addressing it, but nothing has been changing, and I was pretty sure it was one of the new hires that was doing it, but I had no proof. Until now, Thursday I took my noodles, and my entire Tupperware went missing, which hasn't happened before. I'm pissed, but what can I do? A coworker shared her pizza with me, and that was that.

Until today. My boss confronted me and accused me of poisoning my noodles because his daughter, one of the new girls, borrowed my lunch and had to be hospitalized. Turns out she severely alerted to nuts, ate some, and boom, anaphylaxis. She used an Epipin and had to be hospitalized, and now her dad is trying to hold me accountable for her bills and condition, but I don't see it. Why should I pay? I don't mark my food as an allergen because I'm not allergic to it. She was just dumb enough to steal from me and eat something that she can't eat. But my boss is being

hateful, and some of my older co-workers are icing me out because I warned him I'd report any harassment to HR if he tried anything funny. Brown knowsers, I guess. My friend is aware and offered me a full-time job, but I just can't help but feel that it's unfair. At the same time, I could have killed his daughter though. So am I the butthole? OP, you are definitely not the butthole here. If anything, this is sweet, peanut flavored justice. Honestly like, how stupid you have to be. If you have a deathly allergic reaction to peanuts, why would you eat food when you don't

know what's in it? That's just asking to die man, literally. Nowadays people say, suck on these nuts nuts. Well, she can suck on P nuts. O.P. you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Your coworker gets 2 out of 5 buttholes. Your boss gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. And even though you're 100% in the right here, O.P., I will say that, unfortunately, this job is probably not going to be for you anymore. Your boss sounds like a major butthole, so the fact that he thinks that you tried to poison his daughter pretty much means that your career here has ended, whether you know it or not.

So personally, I would just leave, or alternatively wait until he fires you unjustly and then sue him for everything's worth, which is a pretty good option too. Either way OP, I would not be expecting a promotion in your near future. Am I the butthole for not scheduling the new hires vacation? I'm the manager of a small team at a large company. Each manager does their team schedule. I hired Lacey last week. Lacey told me when she accepted the job that she already had non-refundable vacation

plans at the end of May. I told her that I did the schedule, and I would try to accommodate her, but I couldn't accommodate her at all. There's already another team member out. I put up the schedule and I was very surprised at an email from Lacey regarding her vacation not being scheduled. I informed her that we didn't have the flexibility and that she was expected to work. When I went to my lunch break, I walked by Lacey's desk and I was surprised to see it packed. She handed me her lanyard and told me that she quit.

She said that she wasn't losing out on the $2,500 that she spent on vacation and that she already had an offer for one of the other jobs she turned down that promised her vacation was safe. I'm now being called into my boss's office because she quits so fast, but in my experience, if you start a new job, you understand that you're last vacation. My fiancee says that I'm the idiot and she was telling me not asking me. Alright, so one of my favorite emerging subreddits, which has blown up in popularity since COVID is R-slash anti-work, which is people railing against the current work culture

and just work situation, and one of the reasons why the stories are so juicy on R-slash anti-work is because of people like you, OP. You literally gave her the job on the condition. The condition was that you would respect her vacation. Then you didn't honor the condition, so you expect her to honor the job? Why? Why? She supposed to just throw away the $2,500 she spent on like hotel and airplane travel

and all that stuff for you and your bad schedule. Yeah, fat chance. OP, you seem like a terrible manager. I'm giving Lacey zero out of five buttholes I'm giving you three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for ruining someone's day during my wedding? I'm a 26 year old woman and I recently just got married a few days ago It was a traditional Punjabi wedding and I had an absolute blast. For some context, I have three brothers and no sisters. In traditional Indian weddings, there are certain ceremonies where you would need your female

relatives to be a part of. Since I have no sisters, my cousin stepped in. My families have always had a strained relationship with one another, always due to some petty fights that occurred years ago, and some of the relatives just can't let go of it. Most of the cousins don't partake in this because we're aware that the feud is ridiculous. I have one cousin, X, an 18 year old girl who's extremely nice, but unfortunately, super shy and timid. She's always been like this, and most of us have just grown up being protective of her,

especially since she's one of the youngest cousins. During one of these ceremonies, I insisted that my cousin be a main part of it, because I know she would genuinely enjoy it, but she would be too shy to volunteer herself or ask for it. One of my cousins, fiancés, a 28-year-old woman, however, is quite the opposite. She constantly likes to put herself in the middle of everything, despite already being told of her given duties during the ceremony. This is the part where I might be the butthole. During one of the ceremonies, you're supposed to have one of your female relatives sit behind you on stage, and basically just take care of you,

fix up your hair, your clothes, etc. I specifically told Cousin X that she would be the one to do this for me. However, when the day came, my cousin's fiance was the one who took her spots. I was confused, but I couldn't do much. After the ceremony, I found Cousin X, and she explained to me that the fiance who took her spot had basically scolded her and yelled at her, saying that she should be the one doing it since cousin X is still young and doesn't know anything. She then told cousin X to go sit down with the other guests despite cousin X's protests. Cousin X's mother, my auntie, whom I absolutely adore and has been a huge help with the wedding

was quite upset with this, but she didn't want to cause a scene and she just told cousin X that it was okay. When I heard this, but she didn't want to cause a scene and she just told cousin X that it was okay. When I heard this, I was furious. She took what was meant to be a special moment and made it all about herself. I sat her down and told her that she had no right to do what she did, and I was extremely upset with her for doing so. Apparently, she was so upset by this conversation, she refused to come to the other ceremonies the next day I was fine with this because I generally don't like adults who throw temper tantrums

But my cousin says that I had no right to speak to his fiancee like that and now his entire family has been constantly saying a lot of negative things about my family and the whole situation Am I the butthole? Okay, so speaking about this story, I've got to admit, you know, I'm an American, I've never been to a punjabi wedding, a traditional Indian wedding, so I don't know much about the context here. So with that in mind, yeah, this feels like a pretty majorly butthole thing. If it's your wedding, it's supposed to be about you and your partner, not about some random cousin-in-law who wants to be the center of attention. If this were a traditional American wedding, then she would definitely be the buttholes, so I feel pretty comfortable saying that in a Punjabi wedding, she would still be the butthole.

OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. The girl who stole the spot of cousin X, she gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for not giving up my second free seat next to me in the plane? I'm obese. Like, I'm comfortable having two seats in the plane type of obese. I'm well aware of that, and I really don't like to bother people with my weight. A week ago, I was going to a conference by plane, and because I was going alone, I bought two seats. Usually, when I fly with my boyfriend, I don't buy two since he sits next to me. I fit in one seat, but my side is usually touching the person next to me, and I feel uncomfortable for them.

Whenever this happens, they give me nasty looks, and I feel extremely uncomfortable the whole flight. So I sat down in the plane and put the arm rest up so I could be really comfortable. Some couple came up and they both sat next to me because they got separate seats and they noticed the seats next to me were empty. This is exactly what I was afraid was going to happen. My side kept touching the guy next to me and he even pushed me a bit when he moved in

the seat. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and I asked him if he could go to his seat because I bought this one for my comfort. He told me no since this seat is empty and he wants to be with his girlfriend. Well, I told him that I understand, but I feel uncomfortable and I paid for this second seat so exactly the scenario wouldn't happen. He refused again and started to chat with his girlfriend. I called the flight attendant and quietly told her what was happening. She asked the guy to leave my second seat and he and his girlfriend gave me a nasty look.

The girlfriend mumbled something like, effing fat B word under her breath, but nothing directly to me. So am I the butthole for insisting on him to leave? Well see, the funny thing about airplanes is there's a really, really easy way to sit next your girlfriend. You pay for the seats! What those two jerks did was they paid the bare minimum for their seats, which meant they wouldn't sit next to each other.

Then, their plane was to steal someone else's seat, so no OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. These two douchebags get two out of five buttholes. Also, down in the comments, I'm going to read this reply from molasses fragrance. Not the butthole, former flight attendant here. It's your seat, you paid for it. If that classless couple wanted to sit together that badly, they should have paid for seats together. Am I the butthole for rubbing in my boyfriend's face? How much I make in front of his friends? Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years, living together for one. When we were on our first date, he asked if I pursued a higher education after high school,

which I didn't. I explained that I failed high school school and he couldn't believe it. He was a high achiever and he couldn't possibly understand how somebody could fail high school. He finds it amusing to tease me about it and truthfully it doesn't bother me. I have a good job and I've done great things despite not having a traditional education. At the very worst, it's a little annoying, but I refused to lose sleep over it. Tonight we had friends over, and the conversation turned towards high school and what subjects we did.

I listed off what I studied in my final year, and my boyfriend began to laugh, saying that it didn't matter because I failed anyway. Then since he'd had too much to drink, he took it a little far and started poking fun at how only 80 it's failed high school. I tried to play it off, but the alcohol got the better of me as well, and I snapped responding. So that's why I earned $48 per hour, and you earned $26 per hour, right? Because you did so well in high school school and that set you up for success. Him and one of his friends said that I ruined the night,

but a couple of my friends said that he had it coming. So it's okay for him to criticize you in front of Mix Company, but you can't criticize him in front of Mix Company. Nah, it doesn't work that way. Also, it would be kind of getting a red flag out of this guy because he seems delighted at the opportunity to put down his own girlfriend. Like if he doesn't respect you, why does he want to be with you?

It doesn't make any sense to me. OP you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your boyfriend 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for walking out of the airport when I saw my husband's mom standing there with her luggage? I'm a 30 year old woman and I don't have the best relationship with my husband's mom standing there with her luggage, I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I don't have the best relationship with my husband's mom. Since day one, she's tried to make remarks to compare me to her. She then tried to get on my good side and started overly praising everything I do,

and sometimes even copying me like that one time that she literally died her hair purple just like mine. And when everyone pointed out how ridiculous she looked, she actually blamed me and accused me of trying to make a joke out of her. So anyways, my husband and I took two weeks off work to go visit some places out of the country. Tourism in other words, the thing is, I was the one who saved up for and arranged for the trip. My husband was responsible for booking the words. The thing is, I was the one who saved up for and arranged for the trip. My husband was responsible for booking the tickets. My husband's mom wanted to come along and

threw temper tantrums when I said no. She called, texted, sent people to talk me into letting her come, and even threatened to call the cops and make up some complaint to get us to stay if she couldn't come. My husband said that we should just take her, but I told him that he was wrong to tell her about the trip in the first place. He gave me an ultimatum. He said that he wouldn't go if she can't come, and I told him I would gladly call his bluff, which made him take his words back and say, fine, I'll tell her to stop it because we won't take her. Then things got quiet. Suspiciously quiet. The day of the trip came and we got to the airport at 2pm.

My husband was walking ahead of me and he was looking left and right like he was looking for someone. I asked him what he was doing but he didn't respond. He led me to the waiting area and the first thing that I saw was his mom standing there with her luggage. I frozen my spots. I felt a cold wave washing over me and I was fuming inside. She and my husband were hugging and that's when I quietly turned around and started walking towards the exit. My husband followed me while shouting at me to stop. He tried to stop me, but I told him off in the harshest way possible.

He tried to say that I was overreacting and that his mom was just there anyway and I should let it go and not mess the trip up for us. I told him that he and his mom should still go and that I was going home. I went home and I sobbed into my dog's fur for several minutes. It turns out he booked her a ticket without me knowing. An hour later, he came home yelling and raging about how pathetic and spiteful I was to walk out and go home and ruin their trip last minute. I told him that he caused this to happen. He said that I was being so hard on his mom that it's ridiculous.

I refused to fight anymore, but he kept on berating me, then he called my family to tell them the trip was canceled and it was because of me. My family said that I shouldn't have ruined it for myself, and I should have sucked it up and done my best to enjoy it. Did I really overreact? Alright, I'm going to read this reply from Peanut Butter Toast because they're saying exactly what I was thinking. I don't wanna call the divorce card, but divorce.

You shared your boundaries, you said no, and she crossed it. Your husband told you that he would tell her no, but he lied. He tried to pin you in a corner by not saying anything and bringing her anyways, and then gets upset at you after you refuse to be a part of his little trap, and then he berates you? He is not a good man. He needs to go. Not the butthole. I agree, OP, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mother-in-law,

let's say 3.5 out of five buttholes, and I'm giving your husband 4.5 out of 5 buttholes and I'm giving your husband 4.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.