rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Becoming a Bridezilla Mega-Karen?

Episode Date: November 5, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where O.P.'s brother steals her dead husband's piano. Am I the butthole for giving my brother and his wife two days to return my piano? What, they stole your piano? I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I developed an interest for piano after meeting my late husband who was a piano teacher for seven years. He taught me how to play it, and he helped me buy a used but still expensive piano two years ago. I play it every day after his passing six months ago. I just find comfort spending time playing. However, my brother and his wife, who came to stay with me for two months after losing their apartment, always complained about the piano noise, even though I only played during the daytime.

My sister-in-law and I started arguing more frequently, and my brother told me to only play it when they're out, but I refused. Yesterday I was at with friends for the day, then I came home during the evening, and I found that my piano was gone. It turns out my brother had moved it to a friend's garage while I was gone, and he won't tell me which friends. I blew up at him and yelled at him that he had no right to touch it or move it. His wife said they did this as a last-ditch effort to get some peace and quiet in the house.

My brother reassured me that he'll give it back to me once he finds his own place, and then I get to live alone and play the piano all day long. He was sarcastic with that last line and I couldn't take it. I told them to pack up and leave my house because they were no longer welcome after this. He freaked out and tried begging me to take it easy and be more rational, but I threatened to call the cops if they refused to leave. He took his family and left. The piano still isn't back, and they're saying they'd give it back if I agreed to let them move back in.

They believed that what happened was a misunderstanding, and every one of us mishandled the situation, so they want to start fresh. I lost it, and told them they had two days to return it, or I'm calling the cops. Our mom is pressuring me to take them back, saying that it was my fault for not having any consideration for them as my guests to begin with. But I refuse to take them back, and I put my foot down on the timeline I gave. Now I'm being called a rational and cruel for kicking my brother out, for watching him struggle and refuse to let him move back in and choosing to escalate this to the authorities

when I could just let them move back in when I get my piano back. OP, I've got some bad news for you. I've read enough of these stories that I'm pretty sure your piano isn't waiting in some guys garage. More than likely, your brother's already sold it and pocketed the cash. But obviously, I don't know that as a fact, so I'm not going to include that in my butthole score. This story is deeply, deeply depressing. You lost your husband, and you played the piano as a way to feel connected to him. And you said, what do you say?

They complained about the piano noise. It's not piano noise, it's music. And they're coming to your house, living presumably for free, and they can't give you that leeway. They can't let you play your dead husband's piano as a way to mourn your husband's loss. So their response is to steal your dead husband's piano and use it as blackmail for free rent. OP your brother is a douchebag and if your mother is so concerned about your brother's well-being well then she can take him in.P your family is super super toxic here.

I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving everyone else three out of five buttholes. Also, I'd like to point out that a grand piano is probably several thousand dollars. Actually let's look this up. A used grand piano ranges from about $5,000 to $40,000. So not only is this stolen piano reaching felony levels of theft,

but on top of that, this is an absolutely irreplaceable sentimental item. Am I the butthole for staying true to my threats? After my dad died? My dad died unexpectedly last week, and my sister, Jess and I, lost our mom last year due to a mix of cancer and the virus. From how our family acted in the past over scavenging, over-did people's things, both Jess and I decided to send out a family memo that no one was to enter or take anything from our parents' house

until we got there. Both Jess and I work on the West Coast, so it took some time to get to our parents' house with all of our kids and family. I saw several notifications from my parents' ring doorbell that our family members came to their house. Also I am a lawyer. I reminded my family that we WILL prosecute. Just and I are on the same page. Just got to my parents house first and noticed that stuff was missing and my parents had security

cameras and an Alexa show. It showed my cousins taking stuff from the house. So, just did what we agreed on, called the cops and got two of our cousins arrested. Since they stole thousands of dollars worth of stuff, they're looking at felony charges. My cousins said that my dad promised him this stuff, but I have my dad's will making me the executor of the estate. I told him that he should have waited to file a claim with the estate, and everyone was warned about what would happen. Jess and I do not have the best relationship with our extended family, and we're not dropping

charges. Because of this drama, dad was quietly cremated with no service, but we planned to hold a service when we scatter our parents' ashes at Jess's house in a tree that we planted for them. My last living grandma is upset about this, but she sided with my cousins and aunt saying that we're too tough on having them arrested. Okay, well, if you don't want to get arrested for theft, don't steal. I mean, it's pretty straightforward, right? Okay, well if you don't want to get arrested for theft, don't steal.

I mean it's pretty straightforward, right? Especially if you have a lawyer in the family saying, do not take stuff, I will sue you. And then you take stuff and then you get sued. Oh my god, how could I have not seen this coming? Come on man, OP, you get zero out of five buttolls. Why? Because the law is a hundred percent on your side here. There's a reason

why deceased people leave wills and why there's always an executor of the estate. It's to solve problems like these. O.P. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your Theebing Relatives 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for yelling at another parent during pickup? My son's name is Robin. It's just those 5 letters. It's not a nickname. The mom of one of the kids in his class is convinced his name is Robert. She volunteers at pickup. I'll drive up and she'll go to get my son yelling, Robert! Robert! Now the first few weeks I brushed it off because learning the names of a bunch of different kids is hard. I would just

tell her when she came back over with my son, actually, his name is Robin. I've said this almost every single day for over a month now. Last week I saw her at a school function and I went up and introduced myself and basically said, I'm Robin's father. You might recognize me from pickup. By the way, his name is not Robert. Her response confounded me. She said that Robin is a girl's name, but it's UNICEX and it's way more common for boys, so what? And she said that it's not a good nickname for Robert, so she'll call him by his real name instead.

I tried to correct her since Robin isn't a nickname, but she wandered away. The next time she walked up to my car, I got annoyed and said, I'm here for Robin, R-O-B-I-N. But she did it again. On Friday, when she called my son, Robert, I asked her what her problem was in a very loud voice. I shouted loud enough that a teacher ran over. The volunteer mom ran away, and I tried to explain. The teacher looked at me like I had three heads and said that she would go get my son. I got an email later asking me to come in Monday for a meeting. I don't know how to approach this. Should I apologize for yelling?

Should I demand an apology for the constant disrespect? Should I ask the mom not to be allowed to volunteer anymore or at least not get my son? I feel like I tried to be reasonable, but maybe I was too sensitive. Also, OP goes into a quick update where there's this other kid at school named Charlie, who's a girl. And this weird mom insists on calling Charlie Charlotte instead of her actual name, so this is like a reoccurring issue. Anyways, OP posted an update.

So first of all, my wife came to the meeting with me, which was hugely inconvenient for her, but I'm glad that she was there because she doesn't really tolerate BS. So we got there and the teacher and the principal were there. My wife didn't really let them say anything until she'd gone over everything with weird pick up mom in relation to our son and also Charlie

and potentially other kids. The principal was really surprised. The principal said the teacher would talk to the other mom. I apologize for yelling and we all shook hands. At pickup the next day, weird pickup mom wouldn't look me in the eye. She didn't call Robin Robert or his actual name. She was just quiet the whole time. Sorry it's so anticlimactic. Okay, well I'm glad that it worked out OP, but just to be clear, you are not the butthole here.

This adult was basically bullying your child. Like forgetting someone's name the first or the second time, okay, that's understandable. But repeatedly and intentionally calling someone by the wrong name is fundamentally disrespectful. So, yeah, as far as I'm concerned, that was an adult bullying a child. Opie, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the other mom 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. And what? Has she never heard of Robinhood? The super, super famous thief slash archer?

Oh, and Robin from Batman and Robin, also famously a dude. Am I the butthole for kicking a server out of my wedding? I'm a 25 year old woman, and I got married to my husband, who's 30 last Friday. We planned our dream wedding down to our dream catering company. The wedding was beautiful,

and after the pictures we headed to our cocktail hour, and that's when I saw her. My guests were all told to wear dark colors so my husband and I stood out. I also asked my guests to wear minimal makeup. I assumed that applied to the staff, too. The server, a 19 year old girl, had on clearly too much eyeliner. She also had diamond studs in her ears and a flashy ring, and one of those ugly nose studs. The staff's uniform was a black long sleeve shirt, but on her it was too low

cut and her pants were far too tight. It was super distracting. She was walking around serving drinks and talking to my guests. I asked another member of the staff to speak to their boss. When their boss came out, I pointed out the server and asked that she be dealt with because she was super distracting. Their boss apologized and called the server back to the kitchen. Not even an hour later, the server was back out serving food for dinner. I called the boss over again and asked that the server could work in the back or go home. Her boss said they were short staff tonight, so she would see what could be done. After a couple of hours of not seeing her, I saw the server again behind the bar. I called out the boss one last time, and told her that if the server didn't leave, I'd

be calling the cops. The boss finally relented and told the girl to go home. My husband and mother-in-law said that I was acting crazy, and that I probably got a poor college kid fired over nothing. My mother and my maid of honor said that it's my wedding, so I can do as I please. It's my wedding, and I don't want someone out shining me, and the server should know that she's at work and to not dress up so much. I do feel kind of bad because she was pretty young. Am I the butthole? Alright, so down in the comments, OP is getting absolutely ripped to Shred's for her entitlement and her jealousy. And while I do certainly

agree that she's displaying both of those attitudes in this post, I actually don't think that makes her the butthole. I mean, I do think that she is the butthole in this story, but my reasons are completely different from pretty much every single post that I've read so far. Look, here's the reality. This is OP's wedding, so if OP doesn't want a certain person at her wedding, she has every single right to kick that person out of her wedding. It doesn't matter what the reason is, wearing too much, wearing too little, they have blonde

hair, too ugly, too pretty, it literally doesn't matter. This is a private event, OP is hosting the event. She's paying for the event so she gets to decide who is and isn't allowed at the event. And then on top of that she hired catering, which is a service focused industry. So if OP doesn't want one of those servers that are wedding, then she has every right to say, look, I'm paying that person salary and I don't want them at my wedding. Now, the problem with this post and the reason why she's still the Butthole is because she's not actually communicating those desires. She said that she assumed those roles applied to the staff, which is a stupid assumption. If she really wanted to make sure that none of the servers were too much makeup, then she should have told that to the people catering the event.

But she didn't, so surprise, surprise, someone wore too much makeup. I don't know, you guys might blast me in the comments for this, but like try to focus on the fact that even though OP has like kind of a bad personality, the thing is even people with bad personalities are able to host private parties. And when you host a private party, you get to say who is and isn't allowed. OP, I'm going to give you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes for having a really negative outlook in life, and for not communicating your needs at all to your caterer. I will say though that I'm not giving you any butthole score for kicking her out, because when you're paying for a private party, you have every right in the world to kick out anyone for any reason, including no reason.

I'm also giving the waitress and the managers zero out of five buttholes because they did nothing wrong Man looking through these comments. I'm kind of nervous to post this Is this a bad take you guys am I wrong? People are really really fixated on how negative and like controlling and Entitled she is and like I agree with all these points She has a really really toxic mentality that she's so like jealous on her own wedding. She sounds like a really unpleasant person to be honest. But you know, don't unpleasant people have a right

to not have someone in their party that they're paying for if they so choose, don't they? Am I the butthole for being upset that my wife didn't stay at the hospital with me? So I'm a 35 year old guy, and I wasn't a motorcycle accident earlier this week. My wife, who's 35, has three kids from her previous marriage, 17, 10, and 5. Also, we have a one year old together. I had a collapse long and had a chest to put in, a broken leg and arm, and torn ligaments in my knee. She came out the day of my accident

and stayed until about 4 a.m. She came back that same morning, but she's gone home each night. Yesterday, she only stayed until about 1 p.m. to prepare the house for the hurricane, and she didn't come home at all today because the weather wasn't great, and she said that she didn't want to leave the kids. I told her I was upset that I basically went through everything alone. That I would have done anything to be with her. She told me that she's been with me as much as possible. And it's not fair to dump all the kids on our daughter, especially since I'll need a lot of help when I get home.

And her daughter will need to help with the kids when she works. I told her that marriage means through thick and thin. And I feel abandoned. Now I'm getting one word answers from her. Am I the butthole for feeling like an afterthought? Okay OP um what you're going through sounds really painful and scary and agonizing and you're probably like on drugs so I don't even know if you're writing this with like a clear head, but allow me to be a soft and gentle Voice of reason here OP. You have children, you have kids, actual children, who are home alone, who need non-stop care Especially a one-year-old, and your wife can't just abandon your kids to hold your hand while you recover.

I mean it'd be great if she could, it'd be awesome if she could be with you while you're in the hospital. But the reality is, you have four kids who need to be cared for during a hurricane. So, I don't want to trash on you too much, OP, because it's possible that you are completely loopy due to pain medication and, you know, actual pain. So, I don't want to be too harsh here. I think... Yes, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you zero out of five buttls because even though you're wrong, I think you have a understandable excuse for being wrong and that is you're in agonizing pain and you're probably like doped up on Vikiden or whatever. I'm also giving your wife zero out of five buttls because of course you should go care for her kids

five buttholes because of course she should go care for her kids. No one wants to put a 17-year-old girl in charge of a 10-year-old, a five-year-old, and a one-year-old during a hurricane. Come on, man! That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. you