rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Becoming a Karen to Defend a Disabled Child?

Episode Date: June 28, 2022

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Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole? Where a school abuses a disabled child? Am I the butthole for refusing to let my daughter do an after-school detention and threatening to pick her up? My daughter, Amanda, who's 13 has Sarah Propalsie. She's able to walk independently, but can't walk for long periods of time and can't walk on anything other than even ground without assistance. She has an IEP for this, an individualized education plan that states what she can and can't do in PE. It's relevant to note that Amanda catches the bus home, but she can only catch a specific route because the other route the school offers drops off at a road about a mile away that

has no footpath. I gotta call it work at 11 a.m. today, telling me that Amanda had spoken quite rudely to a substitute gym teacher who tried to make her climb the rock wall that her school has. Apparently Amanda said, I can't, I have cerebral palsy, I have an IEP, but when another kid said, yeah, same here, the teacher didn't believe her and became insistent. And then the teacher stood over her so Amanda told him to f off and wouldn't repeat anything except for f off until she was sent to the office. It's in the handbook that this type of offense is a same day after school detention.

But when the principal called me, I said absolutely not. I told them they were welcome to do a week's worth of lunch detentions or even schedule it so I can change my work schedule, but absolutely not this afternoon. My husband is away for work. I have work until 6 p.m. and I need Amanda to be on a regular bus because I have nobody else you can drop or off at home at 4.30 when detention finishes.

They told me about the late bus, but I reminded them why Amanda couldn't take that bus, and I was told, well, sounds like a natural consequence to me. But this isn't your average kid refusing to do something, being rude, and then deserving detention for it. This is a kid who could be seriously harmed if she was made to walk that far on the road. The principal told me that I was making excuses and that Amanda needed to face consequences and I didn't technically need to give permission. They were just making me aware. I agree that Amanda needs to face consequences for her language, but putting her in danger

is not right, and if they're insisting on doing this, then I'm going to take my lunch break right now, drive to the school and pull her out for the day. The school called me back and said that she was given two days of lunch attention instead, but my sister thinks that I'm being one of those moms and told me that I'm in the wrong. So am I the butthole? Hold on, hold on. So the school literally attempted to endanger a child with a disability by forcing her to do something that she knew was dangerous. And then the guy like towered over her, loomed over her to what intimidator and when she

told him to f off, they punish her and they want to further exploit her disability. This feels like a lawsuit OP. If I were in your shoes, I would have told the principal, principal, I'm going to need you to send me an email about this so I can have this written down for my lawyer. Like, not only are you not the butthole OP, if anything, you didn't go far enough. You should be angry because the teacher 100% did not do his job and they're punishing your daughter to compensate for it. The teacher is the one who needs to be disciplined, not your daughter. And like, yeah, a 13 year old shouldn't be cussing at her teachers, but if the teacher keeps trying to force her to climb a wall when she's disabled, uh, seems

pretty reasonable to me. Down in the comments, Kat Herder, who is herself disabled, wrote a long post, and I'm not going to read it all, but there are some choice bits here. Your child was forced to act as an adult advocate when she was stripped of her right to accommodations. She stood up for herself to physically aggressive posturing and verbal threats. She first made her medical accommodation needs clear and he ignored her. Then the teacher escalated and he continued to escalate the situation. Why the F is a little girl made responsible for enforcing her own medical accommodations at school? Yeah, I agree with this person OP, not only are you right, but you should be bringing down thunder and

lightning on that school. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes, I'm giving Amanda zero out of five buttholes, and I'm giving the school officials involved in this incident four out of five buttholes because protecting kids safety is among their foremost responsibilities. Am I the butthole for giving my dad his money back in front of his other kids and telling him that he was no longer welcome at my graduation? My graduation ceremony is being held next week. My dad had given me some money in advance to pay for the party. I live mostly with my mom, but they were supposed to be hosting the event together. My dad and I have a rocky relationship. After my parents divorced when I was four,

they split custody of me, and he was able to stay a good dad. When I was 10, he met Jane. Jane had three kids, twins, and then another kid. They got married when I was 12, but I would say even before that, I felt like he prioritized her kids over me a lot. He would cancel plans with me if they wanted to go do something, and would either go do the thing with them, or force me to go with them and say it was even better than our plans. When for me, it wasn't. Think going on a hike with me versus taking them to an indoor play area. Or seeing a movie with me versus the Kitty Park.

Another example is when I was given a ticket for a concert that my dad and I both love. He was supposed to buy a ticket to come with me for some father-son time, but actually spent the money on his youngest step-kid who wanted their room painted. He told me about it last minute, and it hurt. There are other times it's stuff like this happens. He didn't show up at the hospital when I broke my arm because one step-kid was getting their tonsils out and wanted both him and his wife there. He told my mom over the phone to tell him that he was proud of me for being brave and

understanding, even though I never said that. When I would bring this stuff up to him, he would tell me that it was natural to feel jealous of sharing his attention, and that's all he would say. In 2019, he told my mom that he would split the cost of a trip that I wanted to go on with one of my clubs because she didn't have the money all by herself. My mom had her half saved. We told my dad that he had to pay his half. He said that bills were tight and it was the twins' birthdays and the money had to go to something for them. He told me we could do something as a family when the trip happened instead.

I told him to forget it, that he was making it clear who was more important and I was gonna stay with my mom where I actually mattered. My mom borrowed money to cover the other half of the trip. Dad told me that he regretted making me feel less important and we were working on things and he gave me the graduation money about a month ago. Then a week ago he called me and told me how one of his death kids was being bullied, how bad of a time they were having with it, and with the money he gave me, they could help cheer them up for their birthday.

I was pissed, so I hung up. Then two days later, I showed up at his doorstep, gave him the money, and told him I don't want to see him or his new family at my graduation, and that he's already chosen who was more important so he had better stay out of my life. His stepkids and his two younger biokids were there. I didn't stick around. He called me and told me we needed to talk it out like adults and that I had hurt the kids' feelings. His wife freaked out on me, so I blocked her. Am I the butthole? Yeah, OP, I don't blame you at all for the way that you reacted. Your father is straight up

literally neglecting you in favor of his new family. You should be upset. Any child would be upset in that situation. He's consistently making and breaking promises with you, consistently taking back gifts that he gives to you. Like he's made himself perfectly clear. You are not important. His new kids are important. So if he doesn't want to spend time with you, then don't spend time with him. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. He gets 4 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole

for not telling my cousin that my fiance works at the same office as her husband? I have a cousin, Cat, who got married to Henry early this year. We weren't close as kids. She was pretty spoiled and would always brag about how much designer stuff she has. And she would be really mean to people under the guise of just trying to help. We don't go out of our way to interact with one another, but I do see her at family events and whatnot and we make small talk. I'm engaged to Chris, who's a software engineer.

He's co-hit of his department at work with two other people. Not too long ago, Chris was telling me about how they had some new employees, and one of them sounded really familiar. He told me the name, and I realized that it was Kat's husband. I should also point out that Henry and my fiance, Chris, hadn't met face to face yet. Kat and Henry had a huge wedding. It was really nice, but all she did for months was brag about how amazing her wedding was. The wedding stuff died down recently, so she started going on about how wealthy her husband is and what a great lifestyle they have. One of my other aunts celebrated her 50th birthday about a week ago. I went with Chris and Kat was there with Henry. We were chatting and Kat was saying how Henry has a fantastic new job that pays even more than his previous one. Henry chimed in and said they were already planning to buy a new house. Kat asked what Chris does. I said that he was an

engineer like Henry and he has a good job too, but I'll admit that I left out where he works on purpose. She smiled and nodded and said, that's fine, I understand that you're embarrassed and you want to keep it quiet. So that was pretty much the end of our conversation. Then, as we were leaving, she pulled me aside and told me, let me in Henry now if you need help with your wedding. Obviously, I knew what she meant and it was just another dig, but I said bye and left. Literally two days later, I could have de-amed from Cat, and she's furious that I didn't tell them that Chris was one of Henry's bosses. Henry was shocked to see Chris in the office, and Chris made a comment.

Hey, tell Cat that OP and I don't need any help, but thanks for offering. Henry is really embarrassed and so is Kat, and she said that we made them look bad on purpose, and if she knew, she would have never made those comments. She said that it was my duty to tell her and Henry. Chris and I had a really good laugh over this, but she sent a text out to the family group chat saying that she was blindsided by me. A few others said that what we did was petty and wrong. So, am I the butthole?

Are you the butthole for what? Exactly. For not embarrassing her in the moment, but instead embarrassing her later? Like, there's no way she wasn't going to be embarrassed in that situation because she made a fool of herself. Like, what would have happened if you had done exactly what she asked? Oh, well, actually, my fiance works at such and such company as well. He's actually your husband's boss.

Then that would have just been embarrassing in the moment, and she would have gotten all upset at you for ruining her aunt's birthday party by rubbing it in your face like there's no winning play for you here. Honestly, you handled that situation about as tactfully as you possibly could have. Personally, I don't think that I would have been able to resist the urge to rub it in their faces in the moment. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your cousin, Kat and her husband, get one out of five buttholes.

She bragged and then she got humbled. It's simple as that. Am I the butthole for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe? I'm a 32 year old woman, and I'm a gemologist. I spend my days in the lab testing and identifying stones. Due to the nature of my work, I also have a large and valuable collection of jewelry, but also gem specimens that I keep in a safe

that I specifically bought and had installed to keep them safe. I also have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports. I own my own home, and my boyfriend of two years, who's 33, recently moved in because he was renting before. I gave him the code to the smaller save so we could put valuables in it, but he also wants the code for my gym save. Not to put anything in it, but he says because we're living together now, I should trust him and give him the code. I said no because he has no reason to open the save because the only thing is used for is storing my collection.

He said he has no interest in my gym collection, doesn't want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them. This is causing tension because he says I should give it to him as a show of trust, and I said no because he literally has no reason to go in there, so he doesn't need the code. This is a 6 figure collection, so I'm not being difficult over a few little gems here. I'm the only one who knows the code. So reddit, am I being the butthole here?

Nah OP, this feels perfectly reasonable to me. If you want to keep part of your life private, then you get to keep part of your life private and he has to either deal with that or leave. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving him one out of five buttholes. Also, I mean six figure collection, that's anywhere between $100,000 to just south of a million dollars.

So what if he cheats with your neighbor and then steals $400,000 worth of jewelry and just leaves you in the dust? Am I the butthole for getting my interviewer fired? I'm a 27-year-old woman and I went to a job interview for a potential job opportunity at this company. The interviewer, Eddie, was a 30-year-old guy who welcomed me into the office and had me sit down. The first thing he did was look at my resume and then started asking me questions that seemed a little too personal and unrelated to the job. Like, if I was in a relationship, whether my eye color was real or just lenses and also asked about how I spend my time when

I'm alone and what kind of dudes I like. Like legit personal questions. I don't know if he was just testing how I react, but I kept it cool till he asked me the question of what my greatest weakness was. I responded by saying, keeping up with your inappropriate questions and answering them politely. He looked at me like he was upset and then told me that I had an attitude. It was clear that the interview was over. He told me that I didn't get the job, which I found unfair, because I don't think that I

deserved to lose the job over nothing. I got into an argument with him, and then told him that I was going to report him. I went to speak to the supervisor and filed a complaint against Eddie. The supervisor apologized to me and tried to reschedule a new interview, but I was hesitant about it. Later, I was told that Eddie got fired, which made me feel guilty. My mom and dad agreed that his questions were inappropriate, but said that I went too far by reporting him and having him fired.

Eddie tried contacting me via email, saying that what I did could have been resolved between us, and even said that he could have arranged a new interview for me, but I ruined it for myself and cost him his job. Am I the butthole? Opie, are you the butthole for standing up against a legal sexual harassment? No, no, you're not. If anything, you're doing that company a favor because if he harassed you, then he was definitely harassing others as well. Opie, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. Eddie gets 3 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you liked this content, be sure to follow my

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