rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Becoming a Sugar Baby with My Mom?

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

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Welcome to our slash Am I the Butthole where OP and her mom both become sugar babies? Am I the Butthole for telling my mom, good, now we're both sugar babies. I'm a 22 year old woman and my mom, whose 37, had me really, really young. My dad was never in the picture. She's still very beautiful and people have said that we look like sisters for as long as I can remember. My mom was a very hard working and independent woman. She takes pride in not letting any men or family have a financial chain over her, which is super awesome. I've always admired her until she got on her high horse.

My longtime boyfriend, who's 24, comes from a very wealthy family, so he tends to shower me with gifts and surprises. My mom doesn't like it. For her, I'm always relying on his money, which isn't true. I have two jobs, one at school and one part time. A few months ago, one of my cousins introduced the term sugar daddy and sugar baby to her. And from that moment, she was sure that was my situation, which is not true. I've tried to explain to her that my relationship is genuine, that my boyfriend and I are loving partners

and that he's not a bag of money to me, but she doesn't understand. My boyfriend thinks that I should just ignore her because we both know what's really happening behind doors, but it's kind of hard. I feel like she respects me less now because of this. Well, she's been seeing this guy bin, who's 45 for a few months now.

And he's always giving her nice stuff. Flowers every week, jewelry, cards, going out to nice places, et cetera. My mom is really happy, and I'm happy for her. I noticed the hypocrisy, but I said nothing because it wasn't my intention to bring my mom down. Yesterday, my boyfriend got us matching rings, and while he was in the bathroom, my mom made a small sugar baby comment, and, like divine justice, she received flowers from Ben at the same time, saying that he'll take her someplace nice,

and she didn't have to worry about anything but looking pretty. She was smiling, and I said, good, now we're both sugar babies mom. Her smile dropped and said that it wasn't funny and that it was different. I just left with my boyfriend but she texted me saying that we need to talk and I need to apologize because it's not the same. Is it though? Is it really not the same? Because based on the story it sounds pretty similar. Opie, I'm kind of reading in between the lines here, but I think what happened is that because your mom

had you so, so young at the age of 15, if my math is right there, and she had to work on her own and not be financially beholden to anyone else, I think she has a chip on her shoulder. She sees herself as like a strong independent woman who's worked her way through life by herself and got very little help from anyone. And like if she did that, then props to her. That's really impressive that she raised a kid from the age of 15. But my guess is that she's letting that chip on her shoulder affect how she views you, which in turn is having a negative effect on your relationship.

And like even if I'm wrong about that, if I'm not reading the situation correctly, nonetheless, your mom is being a massive hypocrite here. Apparently it's okay for her boyfriend to shower her with gifts, but it's not okay for you because of why. Because she's a hypocrite, I guess. It's literally as simple as that. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your mom 1 out of 5 buttholes.

Am I the butthole for napping while I was watching my daughter? I'm a 27-year-old woman and I have a seven-month-old daughter with my wife, who's 29. Having a child this young is just straight up hell. I have to work longer hours to cover expenses and I also can't sleep because of her sleep cycles. On Sunday morning, my wife went out with her friends for the day and I was watching our daughter. I had no energy, and when my daughter fell asleep in my arms while I was on the couch, I did too. I woke up to my wife yelling at me with my daughter in her arms.

She was going absolutely ballistic, telling me how irresponsible I was for sleeping with my daughter in my arms like that. I really think that it's not an issue, but clearly she does. Am I the butthole? Yes, OP, you literally are the butthole. Yes, there's no discussion, no debate, no blurry gray area here. No, you're absolutely the butthole. Falling asleep with a newborn baby in your arms is super, super mega dangerous because

one, you could suffocate the baby. Two, you could drop the baby from your arms and she could land on her head and have serious brain injury, break bones. It's just super, super dangerous. Yeah, the top of the top. Oh, Jesus. All right, I'm going to read this top post actually, the top comment from Titan Crisp. You're the butthole. I'm a registered nurse at a large metropolitan children's hospital. We see horrific cases of babies falling asleep with parents so often. When babies fall asleep on their parents' chests or in their arms, they can become trapped between the parent and the sofa, chair, or bed. Often, they're unable to breathe, causing death or traumatic brain injury.

If a baby has a traumatic brain injury, it could completely ruin their future. In its place, as a person who's bed bound or wheelchair bound has to be fed through a tube, unable to walk, talk or use a toilet by themselves. Ever. O.P., you're not the butthole for sleeping when the baby sleeps. In fact, I do recommend it. Just be safe and smart about it. Put the baby in a safe place like the crib or blanket on the floor. Remember, safe sleep. Put the baby to sleep on their back, on a firm surface such as a crib mattress, a loan, and no extra soft toys, pillows or blankets. Yeah, so this post is a bit dry, but I'm reading it because not everyone knows about this,

and if you're ever in the situation where you're carrying for a baby, don't ever, ever fall asleep with a baby in your lap. OP, I'm giving you three out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for taking my newborn son and going to my mom's house because my husband and his mom didn't save me any food for dinner? I'm a 32-year-old woman, and I gave birth to my son five weeks ago. My husband's mom has been camping in our living room ever since, inviting people over,

making a mess in our house, etc. I've said nothing because if I open my mouth, my husband would start scolding me, saying that his mom is there to help, and I should be grateful. So I've just been ignoring her and focusing on my son. I handle feeding, changing diapers, cleaning, and wiping. I only get a few hours' sleep, so my husband's mom isn't really helping with the baby. But I thought to myself, well, at least she cooks for us. Last night, I was in the bedroom breastfeeding my son.

I knew that I was late for dinner, but I thought that my husband and his mom saved a plate for me. Once I got done with my son, I walked out the room and saw my husband and his mom sitting watching TV. I asked about dinner, and my husband said that it was probably on the stove. As I was walking towards the kitchen, his mom loudly said that she didn't save me any food. I was absolutely shocked.

I asked her why, and she simply said, Well, we didn't see you at the dinner table, so I thought that you weren't hungry. I lost it and yelled that I was feeding my son, so of course I was hungry. I was actually starving. She shrugged her shoulders and said that it wasn't her fault that I didn't show up for dinner, but she knew damn well that I was with my son and had nothing in hours. My husband asked me to not raise my voice at his mom, but I told him that he saw what happened and didn't think about me being hungry and needing food. He lashed out asking what the F I wanted him to do and I said, I don't know, maybe save

some food for me. She defended him, saying that it was selfish of me to basically berate him for eating his dinner after working for long hours at the department. Unargument ensued, so I went to the bedroom, packed a small bag for me in my son, and called my brother to come take me to my mom's house. My husband blew up at me as I was making my way out. We argued at the door, and he told me that what I was doing was uncalled for and childish. I told him that I couldn't take his mom anymore. He said that I should be ashamed of myself for talking about her like that after she literally put her life on pause so she could help me out.

My brother came and I got into the car and left. My brother picked up some food for me on the way to my mom's and I ate like a hungry bear. My husband never stopped calling though. In his last text, he called me nuts and demanded that I return today, but I said that I miss my mom, that I like it here in her clean home with her healthy food and I would like to stay for a while. He lost it and got his family involved, accusing me of keeping his son away from him and

punishing him over food. Okay, oh my god, OP. Oh, oh, geez, where do I begin with this post? OP, your husband is extremely toxic here. And based on the way that you wrote this post, it makes me feel like you don't actually grasp just how toxic he's really being. So like, let me break it down for you, OP. First off, this one's super easy.

Eating all the food and not saving any food for your partner is just baseline disrespectful. And then eating all the food and not saving anything for your wife whose breastfeeding is so much worse. Man, hold on. How many calories does a breastfeeding woman burn? Yeah, a woman who's breastfeeding burns 500 to 700 calories per day, extra in milk. So that's literally a whole additional meal.

Like for those who don't know, if a woman doesn't get enough nutrition, like calcium, for example, when she's breastfeeding, she will literally lose her teeth. Her teeth will fall out of her head because her body will suck the calcium out of her teeth to put it in the milk so the baby can get enough calcium. So for real, a mother not getting enough calories when she's breastfeeding is a big deal. Okay, so like whatever, mistakes happen, maybe he just wasn't thinking or he was tired whatever, maybe we can overlook it. But when you came out of your bedroom and you're like, where's my dinner?

His response was to argue with you. Not be like, oh shoot, I forgot that was so rude of me. I'm so sorry sweetie. Let me make you something real quick. Or, oh, you've been taking care of the baby. Let me go pick up food for you or order door dash or something. Instead, he just, I don't know, based on the way this story is written, it sounds like he just went back to watching TV. And then, and then your husband has some sort of weird tag team relationship with his mother where when you criticize the mother, he defends the mother and attacks you. And when you criticize your husband, she defends her son and attacks you. So like there's

nothing you can do because they both defend each other and attack you regardless of what you do. And then and then God it keeps going. He's had his mom over enjoying his company for who knows how long you said, you said five weeks ago, so presumably up to five weeks she's been here. But you can't go over to your mom's for one single night without him blowing up at you. And it's not really clear if he is or isn't invited,

but like what's stopping him from just driving over to your mom's place. And then you can all spend time there because you know, she's the grandma, she wants to see the baby too. Why is it that it's okay for his mom to be around for five weeks, but it's not okay for you to be around your mom for one day. And then, you know, the cherry on top is calling his wife Nuts and accusing you of, what did he say?

Keeping his son away from him. Are you actually doing that? You just went to your mom's place. Can't he, you know, come visit? Bring you McDonald's, be like, hey, I'm sorry, here's McDonald's. I know you're hungry. Let me make it up to you.

Yo, OP, your husband is toxic. What are people saying? Your mother-in-law is ignoring you and your husband is using her as an excuse to skip out of doing his part of parenting. Correct, accurate. Kick her out, tell him he needs to start his part of parenting. Correct. Accurate. Kick her out, tell him he needs to start pitching in her file for divorce. Agree.

100%. Not the butthole. How exactly is your mother-in-law's cooking helping if she doesn't even cook enough for all three of you? Agree. Agree. 100%. Opie, these are red flags. I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes.

I'm giving your husband four out of five buttholes. I'm giving your mother-in-law 2.5 out of five buttles. Am I the buttle for telling the new neighbors that they got what they paid for, including being shunned by the neighborhood? Where I live, real estate developers have started snatching up family homes, bulldozing them, and building enormous $2 million houses on the plots of land. The houses also stick out horribly in terms of aesthetics. Think single-level brick homes

with a three-level gigantic white and black box in the middle. My home has been in my family for several generations. We've always been known for having a large, beautiful garden. We invited over kids to help with gardening. We gave away so many vegetables. We held parties, etc. It's been a neighborhood treasure for years. Until developers snatched up the lot next

store, bulldozed everything and erected an enormous house that blocked out the light to most of the garden. Many of us tried to fight it with the city, but everything was denied. It was heartbreaking. Our neighborhood has been changed forever. This garden was how I connected with my family, and I've almost had to go through a grieving process because of it. The new owners moved in, and were not welcomed warmly by the people in the neighborhood. I avoided them for as long as I could, other than politely waving or nodding. There are young couple in their early 20s. We finally came face to face, and the woman asked if we could chat. She said they felt like maybe they'd done something wrong when they moved in, or if

they aren't pulling in their trash bins or something, being too loud, etc. Because people haven't been very friendly. The guy said that he was surprised because it felt like a nice and somewhat affluent neighborhood, and given their price price he was expecting friendly neighbors. I asked if they had done any research about the area. They said they moved from California so no. I said that maybe that was their mistake. They said they didn't know what I meant so I asked if they ever looked in our backyard. They said yes and said they think the garden is cute. I said yeah, the garden

that now has about half as much sunlight as before that house was built and was a neighborhood treasure. The guy said, well, it's not our fault that you built our garden there, is it? I said, well, you guys got what you paid for. Two million dollars for a house that everyone in the neighborhood hates. I said that I hoped that it was worth it and wish them a nice day. When I told another neighbor about the exchange, she told me that she does feel bad for them moving without having any idea about what they were getting themselves into. Am I the butthole for telling them that they got what they paid for? Okay, um, something's off about this story.

I don't know what it is, but like, honestly, OP, I just don't believe you. I think you're lying. I don't know what it is, but like honestly OP I just don't believe you. I think you're lying. I don't know what you're lying about, but I literally just do not believe that you have a neighborhood garden treasure. I'm like I don't buy that at all. I've got a garden in my backyard. We've given fruits and vegetables to our neighbors because we overgrow produce. The previous owners before this house have also given away fruits and vegetables to neighbors because they also overgrrew produce. And like, no one cares, right? No one really cares about the garden. It's like nice. Like, hey, here's some cucumbers. Oh, that's nice of you. Thank you, neighbor. Whatever. It's not a neighborhood treasure. That's for sure. I don't buy it. I feel like you're lying.

I think it was a treasure to you certainly. and maybe because you're upset, you're like bad-mouthing the neighbors to everyone else, and that's why people are upset at the new people, but like something's just something fishy about this story. And then like outside of that, the neighbors didn't destroy your garden. The real estate developers did. Shouldn't you complain about them for building the house too big instead of the new buyers who had nothing to do with it? And also, also, if the property was for sale, there was absolutely nothing stopping you from buying the property yourself and protecting the sunlight to your garden if you cared about it so so much. I mean like, yeah, it'd be expensive, but you could have turned it to an investment property and like, rented it out or something. Instead of just, huh, I can't believe people who have

nothing to do with me sold their house and someone who had nothing to do with me built a house on the property. How dare they not consider my feelings? Like, what? Why would they consider your feelings OP? Anyways, OP, I'm giving you 1.5 out of five buttholes. I'm giving everyone else in the story zero out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.