rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Being a SUPER COOL Edgelord?

Episode Date: December 10, 2022

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These side marios all you can eat is all you can munch a soup salad and garlic home Welcome to our slash am I the butthole where Opie gets really really bad news about her cookie Am I the butthole for calling my wife unreasonable for backing out of spending Christmas with my family after my mother rejected her cookie sample. All right, this post says 23,000 upvotes and this title is incredibly tame, so I'm hoping this takes a crazy turn. For every holiday, my mother would ask the woman in the family, my sisters, sister-in-law, my wife, my female cousins, to send in samples of the desserts they planned to bring to the celebration for testing. And to see if those desserts could make it to the food menu? What? Okay, we're already getting into crazy territory.

My wife has been complaining about my mother deliberately rejecting every dessert sample that she sent. So many times, my mother has told her that she's being honest and keeping the guest's best interest at heart. Yet, my wife still thought that my mother is deliberately excluding her since two of the dessert samples were rejected before. For this year's Christmas, my mother is doing the same thing, but this time, she told every woman who's participating to make a cookie sample and send it to her for testing. My wife took it as a challenge, and to be honest, she worked really hard to make a good sample

and sent it to my mother days ago, and the results just came in yesterday. I came home from work and found- I'm sorry, this story is ridiculous. The results just came in yesterday, and it sounds like she's getting tested for cancer. I have bad news. The results are bad cookie positive. Alright, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to see why this post has so many upvotes. Okay, I came home from work and I found my wife upset.

I asked her what's wrong, and she told me that my mother rejected the sample that she sent and decided to exclude her baking from the food list slash menu for Christmas this year. I didn't know what to say, but she then told me that she was backing out of the invitation to attend Christmas with my family. I was stunned when I heard her say this. I tried to talk to her, but she said that it was done. I called her unreasonable to decide to bail on the whole family over some cookie sample. That's just freaking crazy and quite unreasonable. We had a full on argument about it and she said that my mother caused this, but I told her that my mother is pretty serious and careful about the food that she offers to guests since

we're going to have relatives coming in from all over the country. She told me to stop mentioning it. Later I heard her cry, despite me telling her that her baking is amazing and that people have preferences, that's all. Am I the butthole for insisting that her baking is amazing and that people have preferences that's all. Am I the butthole for insisting that her decision was unreasonable? Okay so for some clarifying context Opie says my wife wasn't the only one who sample was rejected. My sister-in-law, so my brother's wife and my younger sister also had the recipes rejected. And Opie posts an update, great so I just got off the phone with

my brother, and he told me that his wife is doing the same thing as my wife, and that she's decided to back out of the invitation to spend Christmas with family as well. My wife must have told her about her decision, and she decided to follow her lead. My brother is pissed, saying that my wife is encouraging his wife to do this. I see the problem has just gotten bigger now. Who knows, my younger sister might join in and decide not to go as well. I don't know how this got out of control so quickly. I guess we'll try to have a discussion with my mother about this and see how it goes. God, I love this subreddit.

Only on R-slash am I the butthole, do you get bonkers stories like this? Who comes up with this stuff? That's how you know! That's how you know these stories are real. Because who can come up with bad, cook-you-test results, man? Down in the comments, I'm just gonna read this post from Zealous Ideal Win. So, correct me if I'm wrong, but for years and years your mother has demanded that all the women... Why not men, too, in your family's send-in samples? For years and years, your wife has tried her hardest to appease your mother, has pushed herself to the limit, and has been completely and utterly demoralized each and every time

by a humiliating tradition enforced by a holiday tyrant. And even worse, her shame was publicly put on display each and every year as other family members would no doubt notice that once again, her food was not chosen. Finally, after producing something she was unbelievably proud of, she was once again left embarrassed

and most likely deeply hurt, as she was deemed not good enough for yet another year. This is the straw that broke the camel's back, and she decides that she's had enough of this humiliation, and that she won't give her cruel mother-in-law the satisfaction of seeing her discomfort on such a big day. She makes a boundary that many people would have made a long time ago, and her husband tells her that she's unreasonable

for setting up boundaries. Dude, come on, you know you're the butthole. Yeah, man, I agree with this poster. This is pure poetry the way this guy put this. Oh, Pete, like what is up with your mother-in-law? This isn't about cookies, okay? This isn't about being very particular about only serving the best to my guests.

This is about control. This is about manipulation. This is about her saying, oh, sweetie, you may have married my son, but in my house, I'm the queen. Who cares about cookies, man? Cookies are like the lowest threshold of quality that anyone will expect.

People eat any kind of cookie. Five days old, stale? Man, who cares? It's a sweet little cookie with like chocolate chips. I'm gonna eat it. Oh, Pete, come on, man. You have gotta have your wife's back here. What amazes me is that the brother is also upset too,

which kind of makes me think that this mother-in-law is like a really manipulative and controlling person and these two brothers are just used to it because they grew up with it and they're kind of blind to it. Maybe because it's also sexist because she only does this to the women in the family and she controls them but she doesn't control the men so they're kind of clueless. I don't know. This is... this is always ridiculous OP. Please stop being such a douchebag and support your wife. If I were you, I would have called up my mom that day and say, listen, me, my wife, and the cookies are a package deal. If you want me at Christmas, you're getting

the cookies too. Got it! Oh man, OP, I'm giving you you, let's say two out of five buttholes. I think you're more of an idiot than you are a butthole to be honest. You're just kind of dumb. You're just stupid, Opie. I'm giving the wife zero out of five buttholes. She's doing nothing wrong. I'm giving, I'm giving the mom, God, this is weird. She's not that bad. I think I'm gonna give her one out of five buttholes. It's cruel and it's controlling, but in the grand scheme of things, Machiavellen cookie schemes aren't that bad. So, yeah, one out of five buttholes.

Am I the butthole for crying and asking my boyfriend to leave over a burger? I'm a 25 year old woman and I recently found out that I'm pregnant. I'm getting to the six month mark. It's a complicated pregnancy and I'm exhausted. My boyfriend, who's 28, moved in with me because of this. The pregnancy wasn't planned, but we're making do.

I'm training to be a teacher and he's currently looking for employment. Technically, I'm working two jobs to support us both, and it's tiring, but he's looking for work. There's a local burger place that I'd been wanting. We rarely go, but I've been having cravings, and they close at a certain time. He agreed to it, and he agreed to order, since they only have one veggie burger that I like. It's not as though there are multiple things that I can have. They close at 9 p.m. I got home at 8.40 p.m. and he still had an order, and by the time he went, it was too late. I started crying because I've been craving that burger all week, and all I wanted was

a burger and a hot shower. I couldn't even have a shower since he used the last of the hot water. He didn't apologize, and he offered to go to Burger King, which I didn't want, and he got all silent, claiming that I'm being the butthole since he's been jaw-punting all day. We got into an argument about how we're comparing days and that he's overwhelmed. I asked him to leave because I don't like arguing, and he had to stay in his car since he moved in with me. He argued that I'm blowing it out of proportion because I'm pregnant and I'm not considering

his feelings because he's overwhelmed, but so am I. My friend said that I'm the butthole because he's probably in over his head and he had to sleep in his car over a burger. Am I the butthole? Oh man. Oh jeez, oh jeez, oh my god. Opie, you're in a pickle here. You're in a real pickle. Much like the pickles that you would have had on your delicious burger if you had a fiance who actually cared about your feelings. Oh, man. Man, what commentary do you even say about a story like this? OP, you are 21 pregnant.

You are 21 pregnant and working two jobs to support you and your unemployed boyfriend. Your boyfriend who's 28 by the way, not like a 19 year old, not a 21 year old, a 28 year old who's overwhelmed because he's been looking for jobs all day, who took a shower right before you got home so that you didn't have any hot water for your shower and who wouldn't do the one tiny favor that you asked to get a burger so you can enjoy a burger when you got home from work. You're out working until 8.40 pm while pregnant and this guy can't even bother getting you a meal.

Alright, OP, good luck with you and your baby. I really do wish that you two have a long, happy life together. I wish you and your baby have profound happiness in life. Wealth, joy, prosperity, good fortune. I think you've made one of the worst mistakes that someone can make on planet Earth, which is to have a child with someone who's not suitable to be a parent.

I really wish OP had included how long it's been since her 28 yearold boyfriend has been unemployed and allowing his pregnant girlfriend to support both of them with two jobs, because I feel like that adds a lot of context. You know, if he's been unemployed for a year, that's very, very different from being unemployed for a week. You know what I mean? Actually, let me check the comments.

Let me see what we got here. Maybe she replied. He's been unemployed for roughly four to five months, and sometimes, like I'll ask him to empty the trash that morning and it'll still be there in the night, but if I ask again, it'll get done. I don't like asking twice, though. Okay, OP, um, gosh. I need you to understand that this isn't about the trash. This isn't about the burger. You have chosen to procreate with a man who deep down is a child.

A man who can't find a job, a man who's content with letting the mother of his child work two jobs, while pregnant, while he does what, sit around all day and be overwhelmed. I don't have a lot of respect for this man. I'm going to be honest with you. And um, um, oopie, good luck, girl, good luck. Opie, I'm giving you zero out of five buttholes. As for the burger thing, I'm giving your boyfriend 1.5 out of five buttholes because it's disrespectful, but the problem in this post

goes much, much farther beyond a missing burger. And I really need you to understand that, Opie. Am I the butthole for not helping a child when they fell over? I'm a 19 year old guy, and today I was waiting for my girlfriend at our local park. I was waiting on a bench looking at ducks in the pond when a child right in front of me,

probably six years old, fell off his scooter. I laughed, not out loud. The child was crying and being dramatic when its mother came rushing in, checking to see if he's bleeding. He wasn't, he wasn't even scratched. The woman looked up at me, seeing me slightly grand and asked me why I didn't help him, and I responded, he isn't hurt, so why do I need to help him?

She got pissy and said, if he was bleeding from his head, would you help? I said, no, probably not. She started having a go at me, acting like I should have helped a random dramatic child up from the floor when he wasn't even injured. I walked away, and from a distance, you could hear her yelling. I can't tell if I was the butthole here, because he ate my kid, he ate my responsibility. Guys, we have a certified badass here. Careful, you don't cut yourself on the edginess of this post.

This guy is too cool for stupid little kids. Too cool for stupid soccer moms. No, he's a badass loner who likes to look at ducks in the park. Look, OP, we get it. You missed your tough guy, okay? You've got a trench coat, you've probably got a katana. You're like a certified badass who doesn't have time for little whiny pants. So So no, it's not your responsibility to care for some random kids. And in fact, a lot of people can make the argument that you shouldn't touch other people's kids unless it's like expressing an emergency. But you are a butthole just for being a jerk for no reason. Like okay, you're here waiting for your girlfriend.

What if your girlfriend is running across the park to you and she trips and falls and like busts her head on the pavement and right next to your girlfriend some guys like, oh my god, you fell in your face with a stupid moron! Watch where you're walking, dumbass! And then you run over and you're like, why would you say that to her? What if she really hurt herself and the guy's like, huh, not my girlfriend, not my responsibility. I mean, he's right, it's not his responsibility, but does that make him any less of a douchebag?

Of course it doesn't. So OP, you're a douchebag and you know that you're being a douchebag. I'm giving you 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for walking out of my husband's birthday party after he started laughing at me? I'm a 32 year old woman, and I just completed my treatment for a medical issue that affected my body. I had gained weight due to this medical condition, and also medication, and none of my old clothes were fitting anymore.

I bought new fitting clothes, but for my husband's birthday party, he asked me to wear one of my old dresses that was one of his favorites. To appease him, I said yes, although I didn't feel comfortable wearing it, especially after the weight gain. He was at the restaurant with his family and friends when I arrived with my sister. As soon as he saw me walking in, he burst out laughing. He pointed at my dress and was hysterical, saying, oh my god, I felt so incredibly mad, especially when the other started laughing as well. One of his friends started whistling in a mocking tone. I turned around instantly and walked out and my sister followed me.

I went home and cried a little, but he kept calling non-stop. He came home and started talking about how oversensitive I was, and that it was just a natural reaction he had upon seeing me in this dress again after all this time. He said that I overreacted and made a scene over nothing. He also said that I ruined his birthday and urged me to get therapy for this oversensitivity that I'm inflicting upon him. Am I the butthole? Did I overreact? He's so upset. He refused to even receive the gift I got him. Uhhh, okay. Down in the comments, funky orange penguin really sums us up well. He pushed you to wear a dress even though you didn't want to. He made fun of you when you wore that

dress. He stood by as you were publicly humiliated. He didn't follow you when you walked out and belittled your feelings. He told you to go to therapy, not so that you're happier, but so you can stop annoying him. He tears you down physically and emotionally. He denies any wrongdoing and blames only you. Why are you with him? Not the butthole. Yeah, I agree. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. Your husband is a real piece of work. I'm giving him four out of five buttholes.

That was our slash of my the butthole. And if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day. every single day.