rSlash - r/AmITheA--hole for Calling a Widow "Damaged Goods"?

Episode Date: September 10, 2022

https://www.youtube.com/rslash Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to our slash, Am I the butthole? Where a selfish father steals clothes from his own children. Am I the butthole for having my kids wear a tie-dye when they're with their dad? I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my ex-husband is 31. We got divorced five years ago. During our divorce, we owned an old single-wide mobile home on a large piece of land that's owned for a trailer park. In the divorce, he wanted the new truck in our savings. I wanted the old trailer in the land. My ex and I have two girls together, aged eight and seven. Since my divorce, I slowly started buying old single-wides and restoring them.

I turned it into a business and I love it. My girls visit their dads at his affair partners apartment every other weekend. However, I started noticing that their clothes, electronics, and toys were not coming home. At first, I thought their dad was just keeping a few outfits there for them. However, my 8 year old got upset when she was packing. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that her dad takes her clothes and sells them online. She said that she doesn't want to take her favorite shirt over to her dads. I immediately called my ex.

I asked him to return our daughter's clothes because I didn't want to throw my daughter under the bus. I blamed it on them not having enough clothes for school. He played dumb. He said that he got rid of the clothes that were too small. I pointed out that the jeans at our 7 year old had were brand new. He then said that it was only fair that he got some cash because he owned the trailer and the land, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be doing this good.

I was pissed. I took my daughters down to the dollar store and bought some cheap shirts. Then I went to a thrift store and bought some cheap shorts. We had a girls tied eye night. We made hot pink everything. Each girl made five shirts and five bottoms. I let our girls design and decorate them. My girls loved it. The following week, my ex sends the girls home. I could tell that he was mad, but he didn't say anything. The girls did not come back with all their clothes. No worries. I knew this would be an

issue. We made extras. So when the girls went back to their fathers and next weekend, they were wearing tie-dye again. They were with their dad for an hour before he called and demanded different clothes. I kindly told him that our daughters loved those clothes. They really, really loved tie-dye. My ex got even angrier and said that his parents have a major family party and that the girls can't wear pink tie dye. I told him that he should go by other clothes if he didn't want the girls to wear tie dye. He called me a butthole for being petty. Am I the butthole?

Your husband is st-he-he-he-he. He's stealing clothes off of his own children's back. He's stealing not just from kids, but from his own kids. Opie, why on earth are you posting this on R-Slashing My The Butthole? Is this even a debate? Is this even a discussion? Also, down in the comments, a lot of people are suggesting getting a bad dazzler because they're pretty cheap and girls who are like seven or eight love them so just be like oh X has been don't worry I won't send the girls over with tie dye anymore.

And then the next week and they show up with like badasled shirts and says like, I love my daddy Steve or whatever his name is. Good luck selling those clothes douchebag. Anyways OP, you get an easy, easy zero out of five buttocks. Like what do you do? You had a you had a tie-dye party with your daughters, which sounds really, really sweet to be honest. That's a really cool idea. I have to tuck that one away from when my daughter gets older, and then send your daughters to your ex's house, clothed like how is that bad? So yeah, you get an easy zero out of five buttolls, your husband however gets three out of five buttolls.

Stealing from your own kids, come on man! Am I the butto for keeping the engagement ring and giving up asking to propose? After propose in front of my parents and in-laws, what does that mean? I'm a 25 year old woman and my girlfriend Molly is 26. Six months ago, my girlfriend started a joke that I've made pretty clear that I do not like. It consists of her quickly saying no to anything that I ask. I know it sounds silly, but like I'll ask her to get me a glass of water for me and then she says no and after one minute I'm about to get up and then she says that she's joking and gets me some water.

I ask her to wash the dishes, she says no. I say I love you, she says no. I ask her to pick up her clothes, she says no. Everything's just a joke, but then after like 30 seconds to one minute she does it anyway, but she's addicted to making this joke. I've already made it clear several times that I do not like this, even more so when I say I love you, because she's the only person I can say that to, so it's special to me. And there are some things that are serious, and I need her to answer seriously. And if she says no to everything jokingly, I can't tell when she's saying a real no,

which has already happened. I keep saying that this joke is boring and I don't like it, and then she stops it and goes back to doing it after a week, one time after a brief discussion because she played this prank in front of our friends, with me asking, love, can you get me some medicine? And she said no, she stopped doing it for one month. Yesterday, we welcomed my parents, in-laws, and our two best friends to our house. Everyone knew that I was going to propose to her

and I called them because we always plan this proposal with our loved ones attending, participating in our special day. I asked her to marry me and she quickly said, no. I was so upset for like 30 seconds with everyone just looking on and shocked until she finally laughed and said that she was joking and said yes. I was so embarrassed and I guess disappointed. I put the ring back in the box and left. I didn't even let her say anything. She kept calling and texting

me saying that it was a joke and that I knew that she always did that. She said that I left her in a difficult situation in the house because it was very clear that I'd given up on the proposal and that I didn't in front of my parents and in-laws. She stressed that I was making the situation uncomfortable because of a silly joke. Well, that night I slept in a hotel and I'm still in it. My parents support me, but my in-laws are calling me a butthole for giving up on proposing, disproportionately humiliating their daughter. I just really think that there's a time for jokes,

and clearly that moment wasn't it. She knew that I didn't like that joke, but she decided to do it anyways. Am I the butthole? Okay, so obviously there's nothing wrong with making jokes, as long as everyone finds that it's funny. If she's constantly making this joke, and you repeatedly, over and over say, please don't make that joke, I don't like it, but you keep doing it, then at that point, it stops being a joke and just becomes annoying and disrespectful. And like I agree with you OP, there are situations where a joke just isn't appropriate.

And that was definitely one of them. OP, are you positive you want to marry this girl? Because I'm seeing like consistent disrespect and like repeated juvenile behavior out of this girl. Like are you sure? Are you sure you would have married this girl because I wouldn't. OP, I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your girlfriend 1.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for asking my parents why my wedding gift was significantly smaller

than my sisters? I'm a 28 year old, and my husband and I got married recently. Me and my sister, who's 31, were discussing my wedding after returning from the honeymoon. We are very fortunate to have grown up in a household where my parents made very good money. They were generous with us, but raised my sister and I to be hardworking and not dependent on them as adults. My sister and I both do well financially, so does her husband who's 36. My husband loves his job, but it's not the type of job where he has a ton of earning

potential. He and I met in college, so I've always known this was his plan, and we're very happy with our setup. During my discussion with my sister, she asked me if my husband and I were planning to use the wedding gift money from my parents to do a particular renovation that we've been saving up for. But I was really confused because the gift, while very generous and appreciated, wasn't nearly enough to cover that.

My sister told me how much she had been gifted and it was more than twice what we had been given. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about why I got less, so my sister encouraged me to ask, and during my call with my mom, I couldn't stop thinking about why I got less, so my sister encouraged me to ask. And during my call with my mom, I couldn't stop myself from asking. Her response was that it wasn't my business, but since I asked, my sister had chosen a partner that could accommodate the lifestyle she's used to, so they gifted her accordingly. They also gifted me, according to the lifestyle that I had chosen.

We're not entitled to gifts of any size in life, but I still can't help feeling hurt that my parents feel that my husband and I are less deserving than my sister and her husband based on income. Meanwhile, my parents are angry at both my sister and me for having this discussion and bringing it to them. Opie, yes, you're right, we're not entitled to any gifts in life. However, you are entitled to the assumption that your parents will treat you and your siblings equally and not play favorites. This is not about money. This is about your parents arbitrarily favoring your sister over you just because of who she's married to. And then they get all upset at you because you were talking about this with your sister, but like, why can't you talk about this with your sister? In fact, I think it'd be very normal for you

to talk about this with your sister, because you're both sisters, you both got married, you're talking about what you got for your wedding. This feels like a very normal conversation, but they say it's none of your business, and you don't have a right to talk about this with your sister, what are they talking about? I don't know. This is weird logic.

It kind of sounds like your parents are trying to punish you because they think that you married someone who's beneath you, I guess. I don't know. I'm kind of making assumptions because that's just my inference base on this weird story. But in any event, OP, you get zero out of five buttles. Talking to your sister about what happened and then asking your parents, Hey, what's going on here? Is very, very normal and reasonable. You get zero out of five buttholes. Your parents get two out of five buttholes for playing favorites. Am I the butthole for getting an entire table for myself

after my husband and his mom didn't save me a seat? I'll start this off by saying that I, a 32-year-old woman, had been with my husband Bob, a 39-year-old guy for three years, married for one. His mom has a habit of keeping me out of most of their functions with the excuse of, you work too much. This is not true, because I do make myself available, but still I find myself excluded. Last week, his mom invited us for a celebratory dinner at a restaurant after she completed her recovery. I had to work that day, but I let her and everyone know that I would be there at 8 p.m.

Bob obviously knew that I was coming. The thing is, when I arrived to the restaurant, I saw that the table was full. All the chairs had been taken, and I just stood there with complete puzzlement while Bob and his mom just stared at me. His mom then told me that there was no place left for me, and that I could either have Bob get up and take his seat or go home. I was so upset, but instead of going home, I just went and took an entire table for me. Bob and his mom watched with their eyes popping out of their heads like they saw something

so shocking. Not gonna lie, I did get weird looks from the guests, but so did Bob and his mom. It was awkward in all honesty. I had my dinner, dessert, and then went home. I saw Bob and his mom staring grudgingly at me while I was making my way out. He got home an hour later and yelled at me, saying that I embarrassed his mom in front of her guests. I yelled back, asking what the heck I was supposed to do after I got denied a seat, and he told

me that it wasn't his nor his mom's fault that guests arrived before me and took all the available chairs. I told him that he could have saved me a chair. He said that I could have just left instead and reminded me that I was a guest and that I shouldn't expect this level of entitlement to be accepted. He then went on about how I ruined the entire dinner for him and his mom with what I did, and he's been pouting about it for days now.

I don't get it, I really don't. Was my expectation really that entitled? I mean, as his wife, he should have saved me a seed, but clearly I'm missing something here. Okay, OP, what you're missing here is that your husband and his mother don't really like you. I mean, don't really have to say it, they just don't like you, man, or at the very least they just don't respect you.

Because like, it wouldn't have been difficult at all to get a bigger table, to pull over an extra chair, to ask people to scoo bigger table, to pull over an extra chair, to ask people to scooch in closer to make a space for you, and like failing that if you get your own table. So what? Let's suppose they really, really truly are maximum capacity, and they can't add more tables because of like, I don't know, fire hazard or something. And then you get another table, it's like, so? Who cares? So what if you sit by yourself? You're still like showing up, showing support to your mother-in-law? Why are they upset about that? The answer is because they didn't want you to stay and when you stayed anyways, they got upset about that.

O.P. you get zero out of five buttholes. Your husband and your mother-in-law get two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for refusing to let my brother meet my son after what he told me at my husband's funeral, my late husband passed away from a car accident when I was four months pregnant. It's been difficult without him, but my family has done so much to support me. I moved in with him a month after my husband died. At the funeral, my older brother asked for a minute to talk with me, and then asked me if I really wanted to go through with my pregnancy. I was shocked when I heard this, but even more shocked when he suggested that I make the

right decision, not an emotional decision and reconsider having my son. He gave me a lot of reasons why, including that single moms and widowed moms are considered too much baggage for many men to date. I lost it on my brother and kicked him out. That was the last time that we saw each other. My son is now three weeks old. My whole family met my son and we're happy to welcome him. My parents asked if I could let my brother come meet my son even for a few hours.

I refused, but they said that I was making a mistake of robbing my son of a future loving relationship with his uncle. They asked that I don't let my emotions dictate a decision that might have a lasting impact, but I said no. My extended family got involved and started pushing. Especially after my brother started insisting, saying that my husband was a dear friend of his, and that what I'm doing right now would make my husband upset if he saw it. Am I being bitter and selfish? Man, oh jeez. I can't help but notice the irony of, what was the

phrasing? What did they say? You said, I refused, but they said I was making a mistake of robbing my son of a future loving relationship with his uncle. But meanwhile, it's perfectly okay if you're brother to try to rob you of a relationship between you and your unborn son. And this is your last remaining remnant of your beloved husband. Like your husband's gone, but at least part of him will always live on in your son, right? You can hold on to that and cherish it, but he wants to terminate the pregnancy because it's hard to date. Yes, that is true. It is true that having a child makes it harder to date. Okay, that's a that's OPs decision if she wants to do that then she can do that and like God pulling a widow aside at

her husband's funeral and say, you know, it really would be a lot easier to find a man if you just abort that pregnancy now. Think about how much harder it's gonna be to date if you hang onto your dead husband's baby. Bro, dude, come on. I don't understand like if your brother is so opposed to you having baggage, why is it that now he's so interested in seeing that baggage? Feels a little hypocritical if you ask me. So no, OP, I am completely on your side.

Your brother way cross the line here. I'm giving you 0 out of 5 buttholes, I'm giving your brother 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.