rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Calling Cops on my Karen Neighbor?

Episode Date: May 29, 2022

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Welcome to R-slash, am I the butthole where OP calls the cop on a caran because she keys her car since OP writes erotic fiction. Am I the butthole for calling police on a neighbor after she keyed my car because of books that I write? I'm a single woman in my early 30s, making my living writing and self-publishing adult fiction. By adult fiction, I mean adult fiction, with the majority of the plot being steamy. I don't typically tell people what I write, but I do tell them that I write books for a living under a pin name. I'm not hiding it per se, but I'm not telling everyone I meet what I do for a living, and none of my neighbors knew, just a bunch of my friends. I live alone in my house, and pretty much all of my neighbors knew just a bunch of my friends. I live alone in my house

and pretty much all of my neighbors are either young families or retired couples. My next door neighbor is a young couple. We've been polite to each other but we haven't been close or anything. Lately the husband, let's call him Roger, became very friendly towards me, which I tried to ignore but he's been getting too flirty for my liking, and I started avoiding him. They had a barbecue over the holiday weekend, and I was taking rubbish out to put in my bin. Roger looked at me, waved high, and whispered something to his friend, and they both watched

me very carefully, which was incredibly creepy. On my way through my garden, I saw Roder's wife, Dahlia leaving the house with her friend, and they both looked at me with disgust and whispered something to each other. It was weird and I hurried back inside. The next morning, I found some religious leaflets put through my letterbox. They were just printed on normal printing paper and were warning about lustful behavior leading to hell, etc. I threw them away, but I kept finding similar leaflets put through my letterbox for the next week. Since I'm working from home, I decided to see who's leaving those

leaflets, and to my surprise, it was Dahlia. I decided to confront her and ask her to stop putting religious leaflets through my door. Despite me being polite, she was not happy. She told me I should rethink my life because what I write is disgusting. Actually, it's pretty vanilla. And she found her husband reading it at night and you can imagine doing what? She kept going on and on about how I'm gonna burn and hell,

how I have no morals, et cetera. Well, I told her to stay away from me and to discuss this with her husband, and I closed the door in her face. I don't know who, but someone told them what I do for a living. A day later, I found the word slut painted on my door. A few days later, I caught her keying my car. She was almost done with the word whore. Well, I called the cops on her, and since

I installed cameras after the slut incident, she's being taken to court over keying my car. I talked to my other neighbor about it, and she told me that I went overboard, that Dahlia was clearly insecure, but she's a lovely woman and a great mother, and I should have talked to her instead of calling the cops and given her a chance to change her behavior. Am I the butthole for calling the cops and not giving Dahlia a chance? Wait, hold up. You did give her a chance. Did I misread this? Wait, what? I decided to confront her and ask her to stop putting leaflets through my door. And then she got snotty and said you're gonna burn in hell and you close it. Yeah, you did. O.P. That was literally the previous paragraph. What are you talking about? But instead of improving her behavior, she doubled down and started

destroying your property. And how can your neighbors say that she's a lovely woman when she's painting slut on the neighbor's door and keying words into someone else's car? That's the opposite of a lovely woman. That's pretty trashy behavior, honestly. Though, honestly, it sounds like the real problem here isn't her, it's the husband. Clearly, Dali is acting out of insecurity. But like, can you blame her? The husband is pleasing himself to adult literature that the single neighbor is writing. So, the husband is super disrespectful to his wife, and the wife is downright trashy. O.P., you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving the wife 3 out of 5 buttholes, and I'm giving the husband 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for throwing my sister and her son out of my house?

I'm a 35 year old guy, and I'm a single father of 3 boys, 10, 7, and 3. Their mother died last year due to ovarian cancer. It's been a rough year to say the least. My sister got divorced six years ago and temporarily moved in with me in the boys. She has a nine-year-old son, my nephew, who stays with us most of the time. My nephew and my 10-year-old are not the best of friends, but so far they get along fine apart from some teasing on both sides. A few weeks ago, my 10 year old started telling me that his cousin was bullying him and being mean to him. He called him names, pushed him around, took his video games, etc. I talked to my sister

many times and told her to talk to her sons, so we talked to the boys together and things settled down. Yesterday was my 3 year old's birthday, so my whole family was here and my late wife's family was as well. It was extremely emotional for everyone because it was the first birthday since my wife's been gone. My 10 year old and my nephew started fighting again and I asked them both to calm down and behave. My son started crying and told me that his cousin teased him about not having a mom.

I choked up and asked my nephew if that was true, and he said yes, but that he's sorry. I figured I would have a proper talk with him and my sister after the party, so I just told him what he said was really awful and he can't say it again. I comforted my son and we went back to the party. Before we cut the cake, my sister came yelling at me, saying that I had no business disciplining her child. I told her to drop it and we'll talk later, but instead she said, besides, he's right, the kid needs a mom. I had tears in my eyes by that time and she just said, see it's even turning you into a pussy. My in-laws were crying, I was tearing up. The kids were getting upset,

it was just awful. I told her to stop it and just leave me and the kids in the family to cut the cake and we'll talk in the evening. She said, listen, we both lost our spouses, but at least I'm still a normal person. Then she stormed off. After the party, I told her she has two days to pack her stuff and leave. She's begging me not to throw her out because she and her kid will be homeless. Am I the butthole for throwing her out? OP, you gave her two days? Normally, in stories like these, I say, okay, let's calm down, let's think with our heads,

not our hearts, and say, yeah, you should throw them out because they crossed the line. Let's give them at least a week because you can't throw a mother and her kid out into the street and leave them be homeless. But in this case, two days is generous, O.P. She interrupted a three-year-old's birthday party. In front of his grandparents who had lost their daughter

to mock you in the half orphaned kid. Oh my god. The more I think about this the worse it gets. She straight up managed to insult three separate generations, your kid, you and your parents in law all in like two or three sentences. And she's going to call you a pussy for being sad that your wife is dead, the mother of your children.

What is wrong with this woman? Opie, you could zero out of five buttles. I think, not five is a little bit too harsh. I think I'll give her 4, maybe 4.5 out of five buttles. That was super toxic. Am I the buttole for refusing to help my partner financially? I'm a 43 year old woman, and I've been with my my partner a 50 year old guy for six years now. We've been living together for five of them. We're not married, but we do plan to marry in the future.

I have a 19 year old son who's currently a high school senior. My partner has a 21 year old daughter who's going to college. There's some background you need to understand the issue. When I met my partner, I was a widow of three years. I'm lucky enough to have a very lucrative business and some family money. Also, my late husband left a substantial estate, including the house that we live in. The house is a family home, so it passed to my son as the only heir. My partner also makes good money, and the difference in our lifestyles was pretty negligible. But my late husband and I made sure to NOT spoil our son. He was responsible for keeping his room clean even though we have a housekeeper. He had chores during the weekends, we taught him how to cook, his allowance is reasonable, he has to save up for expensive purchases like a car, a PlayStation 5, etc.

However, my current partner and his ex-wife spoiled their daughter rotten. Due to an incident when we first moved in together, she demanded to have my son's bedroom since it was a second biggest, but she got rejected since it's his home and she only visits on the weekends. And after some family therapy, we agreed that I should treat her like a guest. She will have to follow the house rules, and that's the extent of our relationship. The problem is that I did know the extent to which my partner spent money on her. He pays us rent money since he's living in our house, and I put that money towards my son's college fund, and we split the common bills in half. Everything else is our own responsibility, so we don't know much about each other's finances.

Now my son is planning to do a tour of East Asia during the summer, and I was happy to give him the money to do so. When my stepdaughter heard about this, she asked her dad to pay for a tour of Europe since he didn't send her on one after she got into college. He agreed because he never says no, but he came to me asking me to lend him close to $30,000 because he can't afford the trip on his own. I'm not even giving that much money to my own son. I refused. I said that since this wasn't an emergency, he can save money and send her on the trip after she graduates college. Now he's not talking to me, saying that I'm choosing favorites. I have no relationship with this daughter, so I don't

know how that's even applicable. And he said that I'm putting money over his happiness and relationship with his daughter. So am I the butthole? I can easily afford to lend him the full amount. I just don't want to because his reasons aren't convincing enough. Yo, hold up a second. his reasons aren't convincing enough. You know, hold up a second. $30,000 to tour Europe. What, is she gonna tour Europe for like two years? I mean, I could see asking for $3,000, but $30K is this guy nuts? OP, you did nothing wrong here.

It sounds like your partner and his daughter both view you as a piggy bank. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving this stepdaughter, nah, I guess like 1 out of 5 buttholes, she's being entitled to an optically douchey. I'm giving your partner 3 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for cutting off my niece's college fund because of what she said about me? I'm a 35 year old guy, and I have two sisters I'm close with. I also have a niece, Leah, who's 16. After my ex-wife decided to divorce me due to infertility problems that lasted for five years, I started a college fund for Leah to help her go to college.

I started it back in 2019. Now, I visited my mother's home where my sister and Leah are living every week to spend the weekend together. This past weekend, I was asleep upstairs while my mother, sister, and Leah were in the kitchen. I came down upstairs to grab a glass of water, and I heard my sister talking about my ex-wife expecting a baby with her new husband. This struck a nerve, and I kind of froze from shock. I then heard Leah react to the news repeatedly saying, I told you so, I told you so. Then she explained that she always thought that I was the one with a problem for not being able to have a baby with my ex, but that I was too afraid to admit it due to my fragile

masculinity. I couldn't believe what she said, but what made it worse was her following statement about how my ex was smart to get a divorce before it was too late. I went upstairs to my room, shut the door, and stayed there for hours. My mom and my sister saw me about to leave and insisted to know what the problem was. I didn't want to argue, but I told them that I heard what Leah said about me. Leah stopped eating and got quiet. My sister tried to play dumb, but I told her I heard their entire conversation about

my ex-wife and her pregnancy news. My sister tried to backpedal saying Leah is just a kid who doesn't know much about this stuff and was just spouting nonsense. I told him I didn't want to talk about it and they refused to let me leave, but I left eventually. I later sent my sister a text telling her about how hurt and devastated I was because of what Leah said. And I told her I will no longer be responsible for funding her education. My sister kept trying to call, then texted, saying Leah didn't mean what she said and offered to make her apologize. But I didn't feel comfortable being in the same room with someone who blamed me for something that was out of my control, and something that literally turned my life upside down. My mother tried to get me to come over

so we could talk, saying Leah doesn't deserve me turning my back on her like that. Now, this is a pretty cut and dry story. Don't bite the hand that feeds you. I mean, yeah, 16, you might want to give them a little bit of leeway, but at the same time, that's still old enough to have some accountability for your words. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving your niece 3 out of 5 buttholes. Mocking someone's infertility and their divorce and blaming it on, what does she say, fragile masculinity? That's just super toxic.

I'm also giving your mom and your sister, let's say, 3.5 out of 5 buttholes as well, because it's really strange that neither one jumped to your defense or disciplined her or, you know, criticized her for what she said. This leads me to believe that the three of them have just been gossiping about your testicles essentially, your entire marriage, which is weird, disrespectful, just really awkward. Wait, hold on, what did I say? Did I say 3 out of five buttles? On second thought, I feel like this is probably closer

to the two to 2.5 buttle range for the niece, the sister, and the mom. Am I the buttle for calling the cops on my coworker over a prank? I'm a 25 year old woman, and I just started this new job as a front desk clerk at a hotel. I work the overnight shift. I usually have a coworker with me, a 30-old guy, but he never really spoke to me. A few nights ago was my first night alone.

At around 2 a.m., I notice a person in the parking lot. You can see the parking lot from the front desk. The lighting in the parking lot is terrible, so you don't really see faces until they get close to the lobby door. I can see the person out there just standing, not moving at all, for like 5 or 10 minutes. I thought this was strange, and of course it creeped me out. After the person stood there for about 5 minutes, the phone rang. I picked up the phone and heard, 5 buried, none found, in a low voice, and then they hung up. At this point, I was terrified, so I ran to the back room and called 911. I explained to the operator what was going on, and they sent a couple of cops to the hotel.

When the cops arrived, one cop went to talk to the person outside, and the other one was at the front desk talking to me, saying that the person outside claimed that he also worked here. I was confused, but also admitted that I hadn't seen the person's face, just their silhouettes. At this point, the other officer and the person from the lot came in, and it turns out that it was my coworker. And he was upset at me, saying that he never would have tried to prank me if he knew I was going to call the cops to try to get him arrested. I didn't go through with pressing charges, but I did tell my manager what happened the next morning. It's been a few days now, and I guess he told the other co-workers what happened, and now

no one is really speaking to me, and they're giving me a bit of an attitude. I feel like I took it a bit too far with calling the cops. Am I the butthole? OP, you should have called the cops not only for your own safety, but also just like that's the professional, normal thing to do. If some weirdo is running around in the parking lot being creepy and scaring guests, then you would expect the hotel clerk to call the cops, right? Like I'm not trying to say that the safety of the hotel is more important than the safety of OP here. I'm just saying, there's like so many reasons to call the cops here. So it's like, take your pick. Any of the reasons are fine. So you're definitely not the butthole here. This

guy thinks it's okay to prank you and scare you thinking that you're in mortal danger when he doesn't even really know you in the first place. Like this dude is what? He's 30 years old and he's gonna take his day off to come to the hotel at 2 a.m. to try to scare his 25 year old lady coworker who he hardly knows. Like, okay, red flag. OP, if I were you, take it up with HR. And also, let your coworkers know your version of events

because my guess is that he was lying through his teeth to them. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes. He gets 2.5 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I've put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.