rSlash - r/AmITheA--Hole for Calling the Cops on My Sister?

Episode Date: November 11, 2022

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to our slash, Am I the Butthole, where OP accidentally reveals that he is a terrible, terrible father. Am I the Butthole for making my son walk the dog? I'm a 42 year old man and I have a 39 year old wife. We have three sons, Alex who's 15, Dylan who's 11 and Jake who's 8. When I was a kid, I always wanted a dog, but my parents said no. I never got a chance to get one during my 20s, but recently my interest in only one was sparked again, so I asked my family what they thought about getting a dog. My wife wasn't enthusiastic about it, but she relented after a few weeks of me asking.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Alex and Jake were excited to get one, but Dylan was immediately opposed to the idea. Dylan has always been different than my other sons. He never had an interest in sports and was always more subdued than his brothers, which has always made it hard for me to connect with him. He remained opposed to the idea of getting a dog, but me and my other sons managed to wear him down until he finally relented. However, he said that if we did get a dog, he wasn't going to be interacting with or taking care of it, that that would be completely on me and his brothers. I found
Starting point is 00:01:10 this ridiculous, but I agreed in the moment hoping that he would change his mind after meeting the dog. The problem is, he hasn't changed his mind yet. We've had Zeus for seven months now, and Dylan hasn't warmed up to him in the slightest. He doesn't play with the dog, he doesn't cuddle with him, he doesn't let Zeus into his room because he destroys stuff, and whenever he's near the dog, he just ignores him. I find this completely ridiculous. Zeus loves Dylan.
Starting point is 00:01:34 He follows him around whenever he sees him and jumps on him to get his attention and play, but Dylan just isn't receptive to it. To change this, I told Dylan last week that he would be in charge of walking the dog every day after school. Dylan's straight up refused and as shut down the conversation every time I bring it up. It's been a week and he hasn't walked the dog once. In my frustration, I told him that if he didn't start listening, then I wouldn't allow him to go to the comic book store anymore and he freaked out and told my wife. Now, my wife is upset with me,
Starting point is 00:02:05 claiming that I knew what I was getting into with this and I knew that Dylan wouldn't be playing with the dog. But his intolerance of the dog is weird and I refuse to entertain it any longer. My wife has been short with me ever since the conversation and Dylan is cold with me as well. Alex is now agreeing with his mother which is making me have second thoughts. So reddit. Am I the butthole? Yes, OP. Yes, you are the butthole.
Starting point is 00:02:31 There's so much wrong with this post. Like, I'm honestly kind of surprised you typed it and was like, yeah, this looks good. I don't see any problems with this. This almost makes me think that the situation is worse than you're making it out to me because typically people kind of cast stories in a way that makes themselves look favorable. But even then, this story still makes you look awful.
Starting point is 00:02:53 You said that your wife didn't want a dog, but you pastored her for weeks until she finally relented, which does not sound like a healthy marriage, by the way. Then your son didn't want the dog, so you and your other kids teamed up on him and wore him down until finally he relented, because who couldn't relent in that situation? You've got your dad and your two brothers, come on, let's get a dog, come on, let's get a dog every single day. Of course, eventually you're going to say, ugh, fine. Then, this kid's 11?
Starting point is 00:03:22 Wow, this kid, 11 years old, super, super mature for his age, set very clear boundaries. You can get a dog, but I don't want to be involved. So you guys take care of him. And you have three separate people to divide the dog responsibilities between you and your other two sons who want the dog. So why is it so critically important that Dylan likes a dog?
Starting point is 00:03:42 Like he just doesn't like the dog. What's the problem? You know what it honestly feels like? It feels like you are punishing your son It's exactly important that Dylan likes a dog. Like he just doesn't like the dog, what's the problem? You know what it honestly feels like? It feels like you are punishing your son for not being like you. I mean, it doesn't just feel like it. That is literally what you're doing. You like the dog.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Dylan doesn't like the dog, so you're going to force him to like the dog, and when that doesn't work, you're going to punish him by removing the one thing that he does like to force him to like the thing that you like? I think I'm starting to get a sense here for why Dylan was so resistant to getting a dog because you're toxic Opie because you're not a good father to put it simply because you bond with your other two sons and you force your Opinions and your preferences and your likes and your dislikes on your kids. So Dylan probably predicted and your likes and your dislikes on your kids. So Dylan probably predicted accurately that you would do the same thing with this dog
Starting point is 00:04:27 and he didn't want that to happen, so he shut it down. Also, I wanna read this one line here slowly because it's really subtle of just how toxic this mentality is. In my frustration, I told him that if he didn't start listening, then I wouldn't allow him to go to the comic book store anymore,
Starting point is 00:04:41 anti-freaked out and told my wife. Okay, so first off, you admit that you were frustrated. And if you like, act out in a moment of frustration, and you do something that you regret, the way to respond to that is to come back later and be like, hey, listen, buddy, I got really frustrated. I said something I shouldn't have. That was me being frustrated. I'm sorry for taking it out on you. Not doubling down and saying that this decision you made when you were emotional and angry is the right decision, just because you said it. And sorry for taking it out on you. Not doubling down and saying that this decision you made when you were emotional and angry is the right decision just because you said it.
Starting point is 00:05:09 And that if he didn't start listening, nah man, he's listening, he heard you. What you mean to say is obeying. If he didn't start obeying, if he didn't start conforming, if he didn't start thinking the way that I think. Opie, you're teaching your son that you're a liar. You're teaching your son that it's okay to not take care of your responsibilities. You're teaching your son that it's not okay to be your own person who has your own likes and interests.
Starting point is 00:05:34 You're teaching your son that his boundaries and his preferences don't matter. Your preferences matter. Like to put it simply OP, you're just not a good father. OP, I'm giving you 3.5 out of 5 buttholes. I'm giving Dylan 0 out of 5 buttholes. Am I the butthole for telling my sister-in-law that I'll call the cops for child abandonment the moment that she steps out of the house? I'm a 25 year old guy. My brother Jack is 27 and his wife Jill is 25. It all started when Jack and Jill got pregnant. Their lease almost ended and my parents invited them to stay at our house.
Starting point is 00:06:10 The day they came, Jack asked me why I hadn't moved out of my room yet. I was confused like what the hell? And he told me that he and Jill would take over my room and I would have to go to the guest room. I refused, but my parents got mad, we got into a fight. I lost and I ended in a much smaller guest room. Then Jill had problem with my cooking. I eat scrambled eggs with mozzarella and avocado every day for breakfast and she couldn't stand the smell. She asked me to stop, I refused. My parents got involved and I had to stop.
Starting point is 00:06:45 There were problems with other food too, and I had to stop cooking those as well. I was told that I must be more accommodating because she's pregnant, like it's my problem. Then Jill started to boss me around. We were alone for eight hours while my parents and Jack worked. She obviously thought that I would be her personal maid. I refused. She threw a temper tantrum like always, and again, I had a big fight with Jack and my parents. I was told that she had a high-risk pregnancy and was on bed rest, and I'm a butthole for not helping her. I told Jack that he knocked her up so it's his responsibility.
Starting point is 00:07:22 I stood my ground, and in the end, Jill's cousin came over to help out sometimes. Then, Jill gave birth to my nephew. I can graduate to them when they came home and that's it. I don't like babies, so I mostly keep to myself now. But that doesn't stop Jill from asking me for favors. Please watch the baby while I take a quick shower. Please watch it while I make myself some food, etc. I always refuse and we have brand new fights over and over again. It came to a head last Friday when she asked me to watch my nephew while she goes to the pharmacy for baby formula.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I refused. She got mad and we had a fight. She grabbed her purse to go to the pharmacy anyway and I told her that the moment that she walks out of the door, I'll call the cops for child abandonment. I was serious and she knew it. She broke down and screamed what a horrible human being I am. Then she ran to her room. She had a complete mental breakdown. When Jack and my parents came home, we had the biggest fight yet. Jack accused me of hating Jill and my nephew, among other things. I told him I refused to bond because the weaponized him against me. My parents told me enough is enough. That they can't
Starting point is 00:08:36 believe they raised such a selfish human being, and that either I help out or move out. I'm thinking of the second option. Am I the butthole? And OP clarifies that he works from home and pays 50% of all household expenses, including the mortgage. Jack and Jill don't contribute anything for expenses. Oh man, that edit changes anything. To be honest, OP, I was kind of ready to lay into you
Starting point is 00:09:00 because you said that you were like home while other people were working. So my assumption, which was unfair of me, was that you were a free loader who wasn't paying rent, wasn't working, and you weren't even helping out as a way to pay back for the free rent. But no, you're paying as much household rent as your parents are, including the mortgage, which in my opinion, gives you just as much say over where you live as your parents do. So, like, why did your parents
Starting point is 00:09:27 kick you out of your room? Like, you're paying rent. So, what's the justification? So, you're paying rent and you're expected to watch the kids? Huh? Yeah, this case is super simple, OP. If you're not paying rent, then yes,
Starting point is 00:09:41 it's reasonable of them to expect you to help out. But, since you are paying rent, they can go screw themselves. OP, I think your best course of action at this point is to just move out of the house because clearly your family isn't willing to consider your point of view. OP, you get a rock-solid zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving everyone else 2.5 out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for moving out because I don't want to help my boyfriend with a rent? My boyfriend is a 26 year old guy and I'm a 24 year old woman.
Starting point is 00:10:11 We've been together for 3 years. We live in New York City and he makes over $200,000 a year while I'm studying for my masters and social work and have no income. Right now I'm doing an unpaid year longlong internship three days a week, as well as classes two days a week. It's rare to get a paid internship in social work, plus internships are mandatory. I spend 12 hours a day either working, studying, commuting, or in class. My only free days are on weekends, so I have no time for a paid job.
Starting point is 00:10:44 My mom helps me out financially by paying for my metro card and healthcare expenses, but everything else I rely on loans. Before I moved in with my boyfriend, there was a roach infestation in my apartment, so I would stay over at his place a lot. My lease was ending soon, so he asked me if I wanted to live with him. At first, I joked with him that his living standards would go down since I can't afford a nice place, but he insisted on paying the rent until I finished grad school. Then we would split the rent based on income.
Starting point is 00:11:15 I originally wanted to live in a cheaper place in Queens or Brooklyn, but my boyfriend likes his current place and insisted that I move in since he would be the one paying the rent. So I moved into his $5,000 a month luxury condo in the city this August. All of a sudden, my boyfriend recently started asking me to pay half the rent, which is $2,500 a month. I was confused because he was the one who wanted to pay the rent in full. Apparently he was talking to his friends, and they all think it's weird that I don't pay rent and that I was a gold digger.
Starting point is 00:11:49 I let my boyfriend know that I can't afford $2.5 thousand a month, and he said that I was leaching off of him. So I told him that he should find someone within his social class so he doesn't have to worry about a gold digger like me leaching off of him. I stayed at my friends place for a few days while figuring out what to do. I called my mom about the situation, and she's willing to help me out, but the maximum she can afford for rent is $800 a month. I found some places in Queens within my price range, less than 15 minutes away from the
Starting point is 00:12:20 city and a bus right away from school, so I went to check them out a couple days ago. I've been texting the landlord and my new roommates, and I already signed the lease. I told my boyfriend about my new place, and he got upset and asked me to stay. He said that he was willing to accept $800 a month instead of $2.5,000 a month if that's all that I can afford. But I told him that I don't want him changing his mind again and demanding more money for me in the future. He's lived in this condo alone for several years, so it's not like he can't afford to live there without my help.
Starting point is 00:12:53 I wouldn't mind splitting rent with him, but I would have to live in a more affordable place outside of Manhattan like I originally wanted. Apparently, some of our mutual friends think that I'm being unreasonable for moving out instead of talking to him, and staying by paying the amount that I can afford and rent, and that I shouldn't have let him pay my portion of the rent, and then OP post in an update. Yes, I did dump him. I blocked him and his idiot friends on everything. My friends also blocked him since he tried to contact me through them.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah, so this is less about like rent and who can afford what and more about the fact that your boyfriend pulled a really classic bait and switch on you. He literally promised to you that if you move in, he would handle the rent. Then after you move in, suddenly you have to pay $2,500 a month, excuse me. And then on top of that, OP, your response to that is completely reasonable. You said, hey, yeah, I'm happy to split right with you, but I can't afford this apartment.
Starting point is 00:13:53 We have to choose a different apartment instead. But no, your boyfriend tricked you into moving into his swanky $5,000 a month apartment that you're supposed to pay for when you don't even have a job? Huh? Where do you think the money's gonna come from? To put it simply, OP, your boyfriend scammed you.
Starting point is 00:14:10 So I'm glad you turned your boyfriend into an ex-boyfriend. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes, your boyfriend gets two out of five buttholes. Am I the butthole for dropping my sister's kids at the child-free wedding that she was at? To make a long story short, I'm a 25-year-old woman and a medical student. My free time is very limited and I have lots and lots of commitments. My sister, who's 33, has three kids all under the age of 10, and she expects me to babysit for her, which isn't the main problem. But she drops them off at random times with very short notice or no notice at all.
Starting point is 00:14:46 The other day, she called saying that she was on her way to drop the kids off at my place because she was attending her French child-free wedding and she couldn't take the kids with her. I had a huge argument with her on the phone because I had to study for my upcoming exam, but next thing I knew, the kids were at my doorstep and she was already back in the car,
Starting point is 00:15:05 and then drove off with her husband. I was so pissed and I couldn't handle it. I decided to get dressed 30 minutes later and take the kids right to where their mom and dad were. I drove them to the wedding, which was at her friend's house, and had them go inside. The men there tried to stop the kids from coming in until my sister and her husband came rushing over. My sister was shocked! She started shouting after me, but I quickly got in the car and drove off. I went home and she started calling me. After she realized that I wasn't going to pick up, she sent me a few texts calling me unhinged and an effing B word for putting her in the situation and embarrassing her in front
Starting point is 00:15:42 of her friends. She mentioned that by bringing the kids to the child-free wedding, I disrespected her friend, which affected their relationship and caused her and her husband to go home and miss out on the rest of the wedding. Her husband called me later, and I picked up thinking that he would speak to me rationally like he always does, but he scolded me, saying that it wouldn't hurt if I kept the kids for a few hours. And then expressed how disappointed he was and how selfish and petty I was to do this to my sister and her kids. Now I'm thinking that I should have sucked it up for a few hours. Am I the butthole?
Starting point is 00:16:16 Sucked it up for a few hours, OP. Why didn't your sister suck it up and hire a babysitter for a few hours? I mean, this is a wedding we're talking about. Weddings are typically planned, what, like months and months, sometimes up to like a year in advance, she had advance, advance notice of this, and she decides, oh, I'll just drop the kids off of my sister, she won't mind.
Starting point is 00:16:38 But like, what if you're busy? What if you're not even home? What does she do then? Opie, this is super simple. Your sister is the parent, which means that her kids are her responsibility. You are not the parent, which means those kids are not your responsibility. That's literally all that it boils down to. I mean, if she had told you a month before, a week before, and you had agreed to it, and then you did this,
Starting point is 00:17:03 then it would be a completely different story. You'd be the butthole. But to just drop the kids off and expect you to rearrange your entire life just so that your sister doesn't have to spend, I don't know, 50 to 100 bucks on a babysitter, is completely unreasonable. OP, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm giving your sister and her husband two out of five buttholes. That was our slash of my the butthole and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.
Starting point is 00:17:24 2 out of 5 buttholes. That was our slash of my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast, because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.

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